Chapter Four

Today you were wearing forget-me-not blue,

I held you and said, "I'll never forget you."

You smiled at me and stroked my hair,

But you were never really there.

I remember the want, I remember the need,

I remember the power, I remember the greed.

I wanted you, all else faded away,

Everything changed on that one day.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5TH, 1989

Prue's POV

I stood next to the janitor's closet, doing my best to look casual but in reality, every one of my senses was quivering in anticipation – Piper was coming. My heart was doing somersaults in my chest but I knew that to the student body I just looked mildly bored.

"Who're you waiting for, Prue?" Amy had sneaked up behind me; I had to restrain the urge to jump. How had she done that? I'm usually so aware of what's going on around me…

Dammit, Piper!

I put on my usual fake, friendly smile and turned around.

"I'm waiting for my sister; her class is just down there." I gestured towards a random hallway – she was really on the other side of the building. Amy nodded, but I could tell she didn't really believe me. I improvised.

"OK! OK! Fine! I'm waiting for Andy – this is our favorite make-out spot," I lied through my teeth. But she grinned in that way she does when she knows something nobody else does, so I thought she believed me.

Great, now she thinks I make out with ANDY in the janitor's closet…if only she knew…

"Well, I'll leave you to it, then!" She carried on walking and saw Piper coming in the opposite direction. She turned around, frowning at me but I merely shrugged to indicate I must have been mistaken. It was really hard to pretend that the sight of Piper didn't excite me as much as it did. As soon as our eyes met, electricity seemed to spark from my fingers right down to my toes – I knew she felt it too because her pace quickened, her eyes locked on mine. Nobody else existed – nothing else mattered. It was just me and her; I could feel my breath shortening as she got closer to me, until I was practically panting with want.

I quickly looked around – the hallway was deserted. Fantastic. I quickly opened the door to the cupboard, grabbed Piper's shirt and dragged her inside. It was dark. I could sense her standing in front of me, so close…her breathing was ragged, I ran my fingers up her arm and she leaned back against the wall – giving in. Giving in to me.

I was the oldest sister – I had been in charge of my sisters since I was seven years old, but this was different. It was the kind of head rush that I didn't think was possible…but it didn't just rush to my head. I felt high. I wanted to share it with her.

I moved towards her until our bodies were just touching, I stared at her for a moment before I kissed her – it was like the entire world was exploding. Time had stopped and it was just us and our connection; we knew the answer to the questions we had since the beginning. The truth was, there were no answers – we were supposed to be together, without logic or reason. That was when Amy walked in.

Neither of us noticed at first; it wasn't until the camera flashed that we realized we had been disturbed. We abruptly broke apart and looked to the door, finding Amy standing there with a stupid grin on her face. I had never felt so much emotion in one second before – everything flashed through me at once: anger, betrayal, aggravation, frustration and hate. I felt something snap inside of me and the next thing I knew, the camera was smashed on the floor and Amy's face had contorted in shock.

"What are you doing here, Amy?" I spoke slowly in a quiet voice and I could see her face turn suddenly from surprise to fear. I could see Piper next to me, trying anxiously to straighten her shirt into something remotely innocent – I had to suppress the urge to smile because I was trying to be threatening. I quickly turned my gaze to Amy, fixing my best ice-cold glare on my face. She visibly shrunk away from me, back out into the hallway and I followed her- she wasn't getting away that easily.

"If you ever tell anyone about what you saw here I will give you a new face- one that you probably won't like as much as the one your plastic surgeon gave you," I felt Piper reach for my hand and hold it; I knew she needed support right now so I squeezed it in silent comfort. I couldn't risk tearing my eyes away from the bitch who wanted to expose us.

"Prue! You promised you would never tell!" I smiled slightly.

"I won't, not if you do as I say," she gulped and nodded quickly. I knew she wanted to get away from me – I had that effect on people, but only when I wanted to.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Sight." I pronounced the words one at a time to give them their full impact, she practically ran away from us.

"Prue?" Piper was pulling on my arm. "Prue, it's over. I'm okay; we're okay." I turned to her and squeezed her hand again, hoping I could say everything I needed to without speaking, she looked at me silently and nodded – she understood. We weren't okay – we may never be again. Someone had found us out: how long would it be until everyone knew?

Piper's POV

She seemed so defeated. I could see everything in her eyes – it was strange to be comforting her instead of the other way around but I knew she needed me right now.

"Prue, no matter what happens I love you. Remember, you promised me that once?" She nodded and smiled slightly.

"I remember," I smiled back.

The bell rang.

I sat in English, trying desperately not to think of Prue but failing miserably. That moment when she was kissing me had been magical – I had never felt so under her spell and I had never imagined it could feel so amazing. I always took comfort from my big sister, she had looked after me all my life but she never had real power over me. Giving her that power felt like taking a drug.

Well, what I think a drug should be like anyway. If it's anything like kissing Prue, I can understand how people get so addicted.

I tried to focus on the teacher again and found everyone staring at me.

"Miss Halliwell? You must come with me, please." The principal was standing in the doorway to the classroom, looking very worried.

Oh, no. Has Amy told her what happened?

The thought sent guilt and fear into my stomach like knives – if Prue got expelled or suspended she would never be able to go to college. I wasn't so worried about myself; I didn't want to go to college anyway. I stood up abruptly when I realized I had gotten lost in my thoughts again – the principal was looking more and more agitated by the second.

"Pack your things, quickly! This is urgent." Urgent? Was she afraid I was going to pass on the lesbian/incest bug if I stuck around any longer? No.

That couldn't be it. Maybe this isn't about me and Prue.

I breathed a silent sigh of relief and picked up my bag, rushing out before any more thought could delay me.

She told me to wait, so I sat down outside her office and watched her through the window – she was talking quickly on the phone, her eyes wild. What could possibly be happening?

Suddenly, I became aware of a presence – her presence. Every nerve ending on my body seemed to scream and my worries flew out of my mind. I looked at her and she frowned before sitting down. I reached for her hand and held on to it tightly; I knew she didn't know what was going on and that tended to affect her more than it did me- I was used to it. She needed to feel in control, like she could look after me – that was one of the things I loved about her.

We sat in silence, waiting for the principal to get off the phone and tell us what was going on. Her presence soothed me; my heart never beat to fast and I never felt too scared. Even as we sat in suspense, I still felt strong, like she was holding me. We stood up as soon as the principal ended her phone call and I suppressed the urge to pace by concentrating on the feel of her hand holding mine.

"I'm sorry girls, this is going to be very hard to say…but, something has happened. Your grandmother is in hospital." I gasped and felt Prue's grip tighten momentarily before I saw her draw up her usual walls out of the corner of my eye.

"Has Phoebe been told?" She immediately took charge of herself and the situation. It seemed to relieve the other woman, but it only saddened me. Prue shouldn't have to deal with this on her own.

"Her school has been contacted." I nodded.

"Which hospital is she at?" Prue looked surprised at my words, but it instantly turned into a look of pride and relief. She had never truly wanted to deal with this for me, but she would never force me to do it either.

"San Francisco Memorial. I'll take you." She rushed back into her office and I shared a look with Prue. Should we let her take us so that she could feel better? Prue just shrugged, indicating that we might as well. "Let's go!" She ushered us out of the foyer and into the parking lot.

Phoebe's POV

The principal dropped me off at the entrance of the hospital, after telling me that Grams' was here. A doctor took me up here. Third floor, room 358. They wouldn't let me in so there I was, sitting outside the room.

"Pheebs!" I looked up to see Prue and Piper heading my way. I turned away, but I knew Prue had seen the tears in my eyes.

"Honey, what is it?" she asked. "Did they tell you what's wrong? They sure as hell didn't tell us," I just nodded. I really didn't want to talk about it. Prue sat down and wrapped her arms around me. I hesitated before sinking against her, burying my face against her chest.

I'm not Prue's biggest fan, I'll readily admit that, but this is a family crisis. I need her. If something happens to Grams…

"Pheebs, it's gonna be okay," Prue said softly. "I promise."

"You can't promise that, Prue," I said angrily. She just held me tighter.

"Prudence Halliwell?" Prue gently released me and stood to face the person daring to call her by her full name. Piper smiled warmly at me and took Prue's place.

"I'm Prue Halliwell," Prue said firmly. "Doctor Stevens?"

"Yes. I'm sorry to tell you this, Miss Halliwell, but your grandmother is in a coma. It is highly unlikely that she will survive."

I inhaled sharply at this news. Grams couldn't die! Not yet! It was too soon…

"What caused it?" Prue demanded. The doctor sighed.

"Your grandmother has been aware for quite some time that she has a serious heart condition. She chose to do nothing about it. Before she became comatose, she revealed that she had a seizure and fell down the stairs in your home."

"Can we do anything?" Prue asked.

"I'm afraid not, Miss Halliwell. Unless your grandmother comes through on her own. And soon, she won't be here tomorrow," the doctor said gently.

Prue set her jaw and nodded. "Thank you, Doctor," she said stiffly. He smiled at her and us sympathetically before leaving.

"Prue?" Piper's tone was questioning.

"I'll be fine, Piper. Why don't we just head on home?" Prue's eyes were glazed over and Piper and I could tell she was holding back tears.

"Prue, just cry if you need to cry for God's sake!" I snapped. Why did she always have to hold in her emotions? And now…why now? Of all times? Our grandmother was dying and she still refused to let her emotions in. God, she drives me insane!!!!

"Phoebe, let it go," Piper, ever the middleman, advised. "You know how she is." Prue totally stiffened at that comment.

"Let's go," she said. I looked over at Piper and she looked like she was pissed, but not at me and not at Prue. Just…mad. At herself, I guess.

"Miss Halliwell?" a voice called after us. Prue stopped and spun around.

"Yes?" she asked.

Obviously intimidated, the nurse hesitated. I almost laughed at her nervous expression. "Would you, um…l-like to se-see your g-g-grandmother?"

"Yes!" I answered, before Prue or Piper could say anything. "Prue, I wanna see her one more time. Especially if she's gonna die." I was close to tears and Prue's face softened when she looked at me.

"It's fine, Phoebe. Let's go see her one more time," Prue said gently. Piper nodded her agreement, tears in her eyes as well.

We followed the nurse into the room. Grams was lying in bed, eyes closed. It just looked like she was sleeping. Tubes were in her arms and a breathing tube was over her mouth. I pushed back my tears and sat down beside the bed. Piper took the chair next to me. I turned around to see Prue standing near the door. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her eyes were glazed over, and her chin raised slightly. I couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through her head.

Prue's POV

It's the same thing all over again. Mom, Dad, and now Grams. Everyone important in my life is dead, gone, or dying.

I remember the day I saw Mom dead. On the dock, at camp. One of the few places I'd considered safe. And there she was in that…body bag, on the dock. I watched as they zipped it up, covering her face. I called out for her and a man took me away, to Grams. They didn't want the child to see her dead mother.

And Dad…he just…left. Walked out of our lives one day. I never really understood why. I still don't. And now, we're lucky if we get a birthday card from him. I know I shouldn't hate him but I feel as if I do. He abandoned us, especially Pheebs. She was just a baby when she left. At least Piper and I knew a little bit about him.

As I pulled myself out of my memories, the doctor walked in. He came straight up to me, knowing I was the eldest. I sighed, glancing at the clock.

"Did you want us to leave, Doctor?"

"Well, unfortunately visiting hours are over. You're certainly welcome to come back tomorrow," he said.

"That's fine. We can leave," I went up to Piper and Phoebe. "Guys, we've gotta go. We'll come back tomorrow, though. I promise."

Phoebe nodded and both stood up. We said goodbye to the doctor and left the hospital.

We managed to catch the bus back to the Manor. I took my car out of the garage so I could take it to school tomorrow instead of trying to catch the school bus. I didn't feel up to being with people more than I had to.