Chapter Five

Today you were wearing forget-me-not blue,

I held you and said, "I'll never forget you."

You smiled at me and stroked my hair,

But you were never really there.

We crashed to earth and found it changed,

The landscape twisted, shadows strange,

I took your hand and held it tight,

Lead me through this endless night.

Prue's POV

I sat in my room, not moving. It was like the whole world had stopped spinning and I was left in the middle – stranded and alone. There was a knock on the door, it opened slightly and I saw Piper's worried face.

"I've been with Phoebe," she said, stepping inside and shutting the door quietly behind her. "I've never seen her like this, Prue…" She sat next to me on the bed, taking my hand and staring solemnly at me. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. She sighed and reached a hand out towards me, stroking my cheek until I gave in and looked at her.

"Prue, don't torture yourself: we need you with us." She seemed so close to tears, desperately trying to keep her family together when everything seemed to be falling apart- dad was long gone, mom was dead and Grams was close to it.

I pulled her to me and held her as she cried – her quiet sobs ripping me apart. It was only when a tear dripped off my chin and into her hair that I realized that I was crying too. I found that for once it didn't feel horrible; it didn't feel as though the world was crashing down. It felt like recognition – like it was natural, like it helped. I held on tightly to my sister, we stayed like that for a long time, rocking and crying, whispering words of comfort to each other. After a few hours, we realized we had left Phoebe all by herself.

Phoebe's POV

Piper had been gone for ages. I was trying to do my homework but the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach made it feel like everything had suddenly lost its meaning. Why was I writing about the War of Independence? My grandmother was dying. That was much more important! That was then – a load of people who aren't even around anymore; we don't even know their names, why should I care what they did? Grams had been everything to me, to us. She had raised us and put up with my rebellious crap for years and now I may never get to speak to her again, never get to thank her for everything she did for us. Everything I never realized I needed until now…

I heard them before I saw them – their footsteps for quiet but in a house as quiet as ours was in that moment, they may as well have been screaming. I dropped my pen on my three-line essay in resignation: I was never going to get anything done tonight. Piper pushed the door open and I looked up at her. Her face was a map of where her tears had been and her eyes bore the same sadness that I felt in every fiber of my being. I closed my eyes for a moment, as if to burn the images of that day into my mind.

When I opened them again, Prue was stood next to me, staring down at my work. I knew she wasn't seeing it though, her eyes were glazed over and I knew she was miles away. Probably with mom – watching her body being carried away in a bag. I reached out and squeezed her hand; she jumped slightly and looked right at me. I could see she'd been crying too, I was slightly surprised but stood up and pulled her into my arms. I was even more surprised when she pulled me closer, burying her face in my neck. I had never felt so needed before – I was always the baby, I was the one who was coddled and looked after. Prue was always the strong one; she took care of us: never crying and never relying on anyone else for comfort. It seemed like that was changing.

After a few minutes she let go of me, reaching out for Piper and dragging her towards us. I smiled slightly – I couldn't remember the last time we'd had a group hug. I felt both my sisters' arms around me and I almost felt strong – like they would catch me when I fell.

"I think we should stay together tonight," I spoke quietly – not wanting to break the silence that seemed to envelope us.

"Okay," Piper agreed, Prue simply nodded and we went over to my bed, lying down and keeping close to each other. Prue was in the middle, Piper was behind her with her arms around her waist. They reached out for me and I clung onto them, closing my eyes. We had slept like this only once before – when Mom died. Things were different now, though. We were all older and we knew that this would seem wrong to a lot of people, but we needed each other. Prue and Piper were the only family I had left. Hours later, I fell asleep with Prue's head resting against mine and the sound of Piper's even breathing close by.

THURSDAY APRIL 6TH, 1989

My eyes snapped open and I could feel someone moving restlessly next to me. I looked up and saw Piper was already awake with Prue was twisting in her arms; she caught my eye and smiled weakly in comfort. Prue's face was filled with anguish, but I could tell she was still asleep. Piper was rocking her and stroking her hair; whispering quietly in her ear and trying to get her to wake up without shocking her out of what seemed to be a nightmare.

"Mom!" Prue's shallow breathing quickly turned into sobs – she was reliving that day. The day when everything started to go wrong.

"Piper!" I whispered urgently. "We need to get her out of there now." Piper nodded in agreement and started speaking to Prue in a louder voice.

"Prue? Prue we need you; we want you back. Come back to us, sweetie," I took hold of Prue's hand and hoped desperately that she would come back soon. It killed me to see my big sister so broken.

"Mommy…don't leave, please…don't leave me…" I nearly started crying myself: she sounded so small, so helpless…Her eyes snapped open suddenly and her body fell slack against Piper. "Where am I?" She asked quietly to no-one in particular. Her eyes were glazed- we could tell she wasn't truly back yet.

"You're with us Prue, that's all that matters," she looked up as Piper spoke and it was like all the fire of the sun lit up her eyes. Piper's eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly – what was going on? I looked at my sisters, I felt like I was missing something…but what? They snapped out of it within seconds, you wouldn't even have known what had happened if you walked into the room at that moment. Prue sat up and pulled her knees towards her, leaning her head against them.

"I saw it," she began, simply. "I saw her again, her eyes looked so surprised – like something had caught her off guard…I had hoped I would never have to be in that place again. Standing there, helpless. Calling out for her when she was never coming back…"

"Prue…I saw Grams." They looked at me, shocked and worried. They obviously thought I had had some kind of nightmare, but it wasn't like that at all. "She was in that bed in hospital, but the machines were off. She looked so peaceful…" I trailed off, lost in the vision I had had of that room – what had it meant? Was it just a dream or was it something else? It had felt so real…Prue got up suddenly, grabbing Piper's hand and dragging her up too.

"Phoebe, we have to go. School," I frowned up at them, but didn't say anything. I noticed Piper looked nervous but I shrugged anyway. "We're leaving at 7:40. Want a lift?"

"Sure," I replied; Prue nodded and left with Piper. "What's with them?" I decided I probably didn't want to know and started to get ready for school.

"Hurry up, Pheebs!" Anyone else would think that Prue had completely forgotten about the events of the last twenty four hours, but I knew better. There was a tension in the air that kept everyone on edge- glances at the phone every few seconds as if expecting it to ring and to be told that Grams was dead. Prue and Piper tried to act as normal as possible. I knew they were doing it for my sake but I just wanted to scream at them.

Why can't they just admit it? This is HAPPENING and we can't wish it away, no matter how hard we try.

I sighed, picking up my book bag and resigning myself to my inevitable fate. I really didn't want to go, though, school seemed so pointless. Besides, I hadn't done last night's homework, so I could expect detention upon arrival. Not to mention, my friends would be wondering where I had gone yesterday and whether I'd been to some party last night. I paused at the top of the stairs, closing my eyes. Why was I always so determined to make life hard for everyone?

"PHEEBS!" I ran down the stairs and out the door in the second it took Prue to finish the one-word yell. I climbed in the backseat – Piper and Prue were in the front. I frowned. Piper was usually in the back with me, rolling her eyes at my tales of wild parties and cute guys. She knew I was never serious. I didn't feel like talking today anyway. I stared out the window and thought…about everything: Grams, Mom, my fake rebellions and the weird thing going on with my sisters. Why couldn't we be the typical America family, with a mom, a dad, a dog and a damn picket fence? Why did everything have to go wrong for us?

"Phoebe? Come on, you've gotta get out." I was pulled out of my thoughts by Piper's gentle voice and the realization that we were just outside my school. I frowned, I could've sworn we had only been in the car for a minute…I shrugged at the thought, picking up my bag and climbing out the car.

"Will you be okay?" Piper had gotten out at the same time and stood next to me with her hand on my shoulder, I sighed.

"I'll be fine, I promise," she smiled gently at me and got back in next to Prue who waved me off before driving away. I turned to look at my fate. I stared and stared but still couldn't find any urge to go in – it was like my feet were rooted to the spot.

"Phoebe!" I heard her before I saw her: Marianne. My so-called best friend. She of no individual thought – she went along with whatever I said and right now I hated her for it. She should be taking care of herself not expecting me to lead her like a sheep. I stood on my spot and waited for her to catch up, knowing I couldn't do anything about her, not today.

"So, Pheebs. Why'd you skip yesterday?" She blinked up at me, obviously expecting some awesome story about a guy, a car and a whole lot of beer. How was I supposed to tell her it was because Grams was in hospital and could possibly be dying? I couldn't. She wouldn't know how to react and would make a complete fool of herself. I shrugged her question off and winked at her, as if to say it was my little secret. She grinned in response and I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes- she was so predictable! I fixed a fake smile on my face and determinedly walked towards the school gate, Marianne following behind.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cooper," I was fighting against the onslaught of that merciless gaze- why is it history teachers were so evil? "I couldn't do my homework." I worked the whole innocence thing: staring at my shoes and looking embarrassed, it didn't work on her. It never did.

"You were given two weeks to complete this assignment! How is it that all the other students managed to complete it? Do you think you're special? Do you think that you can get away with laziness?"

That was it, I had lost this case. I said a silent goodbye to my afternoons for the next year or so, glaring at my shoes as if they were somehow responsible. There was a knock on the door and I looked up to see the principal walk in and motion for the now-titled Evil Bitch to go outside. The class began murmuring behind me- whispers of affairs, drunkenness and getting fired. I didn't pay attention, to busy trying to lip read through the clear glass in the door. I saw the Evil Bitch glance quickly at me and I knew that she must be hearing about Grams. Crap. Oh wait…does this mean I get off detention? I tried not to get my hopes up too high- she was the Evil Bitch after all. As if reading my mind, she walked awkwardly back into the classroom before looking at me assessingly.

"Alright, considering your unique circumstances you may submit the paper on Monday," she waved me back into my seat, seemingly embarrassed of her rebuke earlier. "However, I do expect A plus standard work and I know you are capable of it, Miss Halliwell. Don't disappoint me." She returned to writing on the board and I quickly took my seat next to Ella, fully ready to ignore the rest of the lesson.

"What are these 'unique circumstances', Phoebe?" Ella asked softly. Ella's a good friend. She really is. She can be a bit snobby at times. But so can the rest of the world. So, I just shrugged it off and made a big show of taking part in the lesson.

My hand went up at every question and I scribbled notes seemingly at the speed of light. I could tell how shocked everyone was at my sudden enthusiasm for American history, but to my surprise, I found that work stopped me thinking about everything else and that it was kind of…fun. I had never found this before because for one, I made a point of getting bad grades and hating school and for another, I had never wanted to take my mind off anything before. I kept my nose to the grindstone for the rest of the lesson- I was surprised I still had one by the end. I practically ran to Algebra, remembering how easy it used to be to get lost in the numbers back when I still thought actual learning was acceptable in school.

Piper's POV

"What's up, Piper? You're really quiet today," Santiago was so sweet with his concern, waiting to see whether I would reply without expectance or pushing. He was just letting me know he was there; I smiled gratefully at him before plodding on with my Spanish essay. I stared numbly at the foreign words in front of me, wondering whether those strange sounds made sense to anybody, it wasn't until the words blurred together on the page that I realized I was crying. Upon realizing this I just felt everything snap, I was sobbing hopelessly into the stupid words my head in my arms. Santiago's hand rubbed my back gently and I felt so guilty for putting him on the spot like this- I barely knew the guy and now I was expecting him to be able to cope with my nervous breakdown?

"Señor Gomez?" Santiago called him over. I couldn't see what was going on but due to the absence of my name being thrown around the class I felt that nobody had realized what was going on. We were in the back of the room, thankfully. I felt a slight breeze as the Spanish teacher reached us; Santiago spoke to him in a hushed voice, continuing to massage my back. "I think Piper should be allowed a bathroom pass?" He was careful to make it sound like a question, even though we all knew that he would drag me out of here with or without permission. I looked up from my arms, still crying quietly and Señor Gomez seemed to take pity on me.

"All right, do you want me to take your sister out of her lessons?" I opened my mouth to say 'no' but stopped before the word had formed in my mouth. I needed her. Now.

"Yeah." I nodded and packed up my things quietly. Making sure my hair covered my face – I couldn't have rumors circulating; I couldn't handle anymore.

I waited outside Prue's classroom; Santiago had gone in to ask for Prue. I didn't feel presentable enough to do it myself. I felt like there was a hole inside of me, like there should be a dam to hold back the tears and I felt my heart slowly lifting just knowing that Prue was going to be with me soon.

Prue's POV

"So what is produced when Hydrogen is exposed to ionizing radiation?" I jumped and looked around. Crap. The whole class was staring at me- it was obvious that Mr Miles had just asked me that question. I tried to ignore the stares and think logically.

Right, ionizing radiation…ionizing is the process where molecules are split and when Hydrogen is ionized it can produce…H plus!

"H plus," I said simply. The teacher looked doubtful but I knew I had the right answer. He just thought he'd caught me not listening.

Well, you haven't been listening. Thank God for textbooks and brains!

Shut up.

I smiled slightly to myself, not caring about the stupid kids who still had nothing better to do other than stare at me.

I was in the middle of a question when I heard the knock on the door – I looked up and saw Santiago through the window on the door. He was holding onto the handle with a kind of desperate grip. My eyes widened. Piper. I resisted the urge to get up and run out right then, my knuckles turning white with the effort. Mr. Miles took his time noticing Santiago standing outside and I soon felt like screaming

I need to find my sister! I need to find her NOW!

He waved his hand vaguely at the door, indicating for Santiago to come in. I could see him trying desperately to keep calm- he obviously didn't understand what was going on…she must be really upset…

"Can Prue Halliwell be spared? It's kinda urgent." Mr. Miles raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Alright, Prue? You'll need to catch up this lesson's work – I'm sure Amy will help you out." I looked over at Amy sitting at the desk next to mine. She looked nervously at me and I could tell she would do anything I asked.

I dismissed thoughts of her for another time and started packing up my things, trying not to look like the world depended on me getting out of there in record-breaking time. I failed, naturally. I made a break for the door, walking quickly without paying any attention to anything around me. I was completely focused on getting to the door and to Piper.

Piper's POV

I leaned back against the wall outside her classroom, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than need. Need for her to be with me soon.

I heard the door open and looked towards it, finding my sister looking at me with utter compassion on her face. That was all it took, I broke down again, walking blindly towards her. I felt her arms come around me and buried my face in her shirt.

"I'm here," she said softly. "I'm right here, Piper." She rested her chin on my head. "Thanks, Santiago. Go ahead back to class. I'm gonna take Piper home to rest."

"All right. Adios." I heard his footsteps as he moved away.

"Baby?" Prue asked softly. "Baby, are you all right?"

"I need to go home," I replied. "I need to be anywhere but here. It's too soon, Prue. It's way too soon for me."

"Okay. Let's go sign you out and I'll drive you home."

After that, we went back to the Manor. She brought me into her room and just held me for the longest time. It was nice to be in her arms again, trying to let go of my worries.

Hours passed. We just lay on Prue's bed, talking softly, kissing occasionally. But finally, Prue had to go pick up Phoebe.

"You can stay here," she told me. "I'll be back soon. Okay?" I nodded. She knew I'd wait here. "I love you," she whispered, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. And then, she left.

Phoebe's POV

School finally ended. I considered taking the bus home, as I normally did. But then I was called into the office. Prue and Piper had gone home earlier in the day, but Prue was coming to pick me up.

So, I went out to the parking lot and took a seat on the steps to wait.

As I fiddled mindlessly with the keychain on my book bag – a little witch figure Grams had given me – Ella came up to me. She silently took a seat beside me and placed a hand on my knee to get my attention.

"Ella, what is it?" I asked exasperatedly. "Here to dig information out of me that your sister can use against us?"

"Actually, no. That's what I was just doing to her," Ella said, holding up a cell phone.

"You were digging information out of Amy?" I asked incredulously. "About what?"

"Well, I wasn't sure at first. But she's been so secretive lately, like she had something on…somebody. And the way she's acted so submissively toward your sister. I mean, yeah, Prue's captain. But Amy's normally all ignorant about it.

"So, I asked her now, what it is she knew and she spilled. It's…well, it's different."

"What? What is it?" She opened her mouth to speak but slammed it shut again. "Ella, if this has something to do with my family then I deserve to know!"

"It's…it's about your sisters." She stopped. I waved my hand for her to continue. "They're…together."

"Right now? Yeah, I know. They went home. Somethin' about Piper bein' sick."

"No, Phoebe. They're together, together. Like, they're a couple." At those words, I froze. My sisters were…a couple?

"How does Amy know this?" I demanded. "Did she actually see them or is she just making this up?"

"She said she saw them making out in a closet at the high school yesterday. But she has no solid proof," Ella said. "If I were you, though, I'd talk to them. Amy may not have proof but she claims to have reason to be suspicious."

"Shit…"

"Phoebe, it's not only the fact that they may be lesbians, you know the schools don't give a fuck about that. It's the fact that they're lesbians…together."

"I know." Then, I saw Prue pull up and wave at me. "Look, I've gotta go. Do you need a lift?" I asked her politely.

She smiled a little. "No, Amy's comin' to get me."

"Okay, well…thanks, Ella," I said softly. "See ya tomorrow."

"Later, Halliwell." I grinned at her and headed toward Prue who was waiting impatiently in the car. I climbed into the passenger seat, setting my book bag at my feet.

"Hey," Prue said quietly. "How was school?"

"It was school," I said. "No big deal."

She nodded and we drove out of the parking lot. I looked out the window at the passing scenery as we drove. It all seemed the same. Trees, grass, sidewalks, houses. The occasional park or school. But it was still all the same. Nothing much changed when you were just looking out the window. But this, what Amy told me…if it's true, it's going to be a major change.

Finally, we arrived at the Manor. Wordlessly, I made my way into the house and to my room. I sat on the bed, grabbing a picture of myself and my sisters off the desk. It was from earlier in the year, when things were still good. Prue sat between Piper and I, her arms around us as we watched a movie in the living room. Grams had snapped the picture when we weren't looking. Piper looked terrified – we'd been watching a horror movie – I looked kind of bored, kind of interested, and Prue looked blank. When you first looked, there was no visible emotion on her face. Looking closer, you could see that her head was tilted very slightly in Piper's direction and her eyes showed a bit of love.

Well, that's not bad. Of course, Prue loves Piper and I. We're sisters. All of us.

However, looking at her closely, it didn't really look like that kind of love. It was different, far from sisterly. I don't even know how to describe it.

I stood up and placed the picture back on the bed. Taking a deep breath, I walked down the hall to Prue's room. I knocked but nobody answered. So, I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

I regretted doing it the minute I stepped over the threshold.

Prue's POV

As soon as Pheebs and I got home, she rushed up to her room. I didn't protest, instead dropping the keys in the key bowl by the door and following her up the stairs and to my own room. Piper was still lying on the bed. I smiled at seeing her.

"Hello, there," I greeted her. "Feeling any better?"

"A little," she said. "Thanks for bringing me home, Prue." I nodded. "Is Phoebe home?"

"Yeah. She came straight up here. You didn't hear her?" Piper shook her head. "Oh. Huh…"

I lay down on the bed beside Piper and stroked some of her hair back. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She looked so small, lying in my bed, wrapped up in the blankets. I put my arms around her and she snuggled against my chest.

"Prue?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you," Piper whispered.

"I love you, too, Piper," I replied softly. "Really, I do." She smiled and pressed her lips against mine. I kissed her back, gently and smiled slightly into the kiss. This felt so good, to be with her.

That's when the door swung open. We pulled apart and turned to see Phoebe standing in the doorway, gaping at us, her eyes wide and filled with hurt, anger, and betrayal.

"So, it is true," she said quietly. "Ella told me about…this." She sounded shocked but not disgusted, like I'd thought she would. "Look, guys, I couldn't care any fucking less if you're lesbians. But being with each other?! Like this?!"

"Phoebe, we can explain it. If you'll just listen," Piper said softly. "C'mon, Pheebs. Please." Phoebe's expression softened instantly. She and Piper were closer than she and I were. She'd listen…for now.

"Phoebe, it's not like we decided to do this to make a statement," I began. "We love each other. And we've figured out that it's not just sisterly love like we both feel for you." She smiled a little at that. "It's more than that. It's kinda hard to put into words."

"Okay, fine. But I thought you were with Andy, Prue. And Piper, wasn't there something going on with you and that Santiago guy? Am I missing something here?"

"Kinda," Piper said. "Santiago is a good friend just not really my boyfriend. I needed a cover. We didn't want this news about us leaking out. As for Andy…"

"I do love Andy," I said. "He's like a brother to me; to all of us. I just…when I was with him before this whole thing between Piper and I…I was never really sure that he was what I wanted. I've had feelings for girls before. Just not feelings as strong as I have for Piper." Piper smiled and I put my arms around her shoulders.

"Well, like who?" Phoebe asked. "Anyone we would know?"

I sighed. Of course she was curious. I couldn't blame her. I would've been interested as well if the situation had been reversed. "Yeah, someone you know. I actually went out with her for a while. In secret, obviously."

Phoebe seemed to get it before I even said it. An amused smile spread across her face. "You're kidding me." She laughed. "Really? Her? What's so appealing about her?"

"Phoebe…"

"Wait a minute, who?" Piper asked. "And how do you know, Pheebs?"

"It's written all over her face, sis. Just look at her." I was blushing, I felt it. Phoebe was laughing her head off and Piper was looking at me, a very confused expression on her face.

"Amy," I told her quietly. "I went out with Amy for a while last year, okay?"

"Oh. Is that why she's such a bitch to you?" Piper asked.

"Yeah, our break up was kinda nasty. She claimed she loved me as I was trying to break up with her. So, I stayed with her for a few months more and broke up with her for real when she started getting way too clingy."

"Did you love her?" Piper asked.

"A part of me did. But it wasn't strong enough to keep me with her. It was nothing like what I feel with you." She smiled and I smiled back. We kissed lightly, knowing that Phoebe was still laughing.

"You're such a sap," Piper teased me. I smiled and felt my face flush again. She was really good at making me blush.

Phoebe looked up at us and just looked at me for a minute. I looked back, smiling tentatively after a few minutes. "Are you guys happy?" she asked us.

Piper and I exchanged a look before answering together. "Yes."

"Okay, then. I'm happy for you. Just…try not to let it get out. Ella dug it out of Amy, meaning that your ex could spread it everywhere if she wanted to," Phoebe told me. "You guys better be careful 'cause I don't have time to cover your asses. Especially from halfway across town."

"Maybe I should talk to Santiago tomorrow," Piper said to me. "If he understands, he might help us out if something happens." I nodded thoughtfully. "Is that cool by you?"

"If he's good with that," I began. "That could work."

"Well, just take care of it," Phoebe said. "You've gotta be extremely careful. This is illegal, okay?" We nodded and she smiled at us.

"Talk to you guys later," she said. "And if you can, keep it to a dull roar." She giggled at Piper's astonished expression and rushed away. I just smiled and shook my head.

"That's Pheebs for you," Piper said. I nodded my agreement: it most certainly was. "I can't believe you went out with Amy!" I just smiled.

"You'll understand when you're older," I informed her – she just glared at me.