In the dark with one hand against the wall, Kyle reasoned this all out to himself and Cartman a few feet ahead.

"I can't run away." He said, carefully going over each room class tag to read it blindly. "If I run away none of this will ever end. My mom and dad will just sit and worry."

"And rot," Cartman added quickly.

"And Stan will go nuts when he finds out I'm gone. With you." For some reason he kept forgetting that part. "I mean, last time I left home by my self everyone was so busy burying their heads in the sand they didn't know I was ever gone until I got back."

They were walking through the dark halls at probably around ten at night looking for some room. 1253, according to Eric. Kyle didn't know what room that was, but he had his hand on the wall pawing for numbers anyway because he could read brail and Cartman couldn't.

"Well maybe they'll be so busy burying their heads in doubt that their poor son is gay they won't notice this time either. Steps," Cartman said. A few moments later sure enough Kyle carefully started going down stairs.

"Charming," Kyle said. A few quiet minutes later he asked, "What about your mom, won't she worry about her little 'poopsiekins'?"

"Nah. She's probably used to this kind of thing."

"Oh…"

"'Oh' WHAT?"

"'Oh' nothing. Just 'oh'. 'Oh that's interesting'."

Another few minutes later Kyle went on. "And anyway, I don't even know where we're going. What kind of idiot am I? I'm not going to follow some psycho across the country to some Candy Mountain where all my dreams will come true."

"How can you have dreams with that NEGATIVE ATTITUDE OF YOURS?"

"…You're a real ass sometimes, you know that?"

"Yes, I make a point to be." Kyle could hear the smirk in his tone.

"You're a dick too." Kyle added, feeling room 1168. Then 1170.

"That makes gay porn." Eric added smugly.

"I think we're on the wrong side of the hall, Cartman." Kyle informed him. "I'm getting all even numbers."

Quick enough Cartman grabbed Kyle's hand and helped him across the hall. "Now?"

Kyle felt and read out, "1171."

"We're getting close then."

In the dark Kyle could hear everything. In room 1175 a computer still droned on. Outside a muffled car alarm went off. But most of all he heard Eric. His careful foot steps, his even smooth breathing. If it was any quieter Kyle thought he could hear the wheels turning in Cartman's mind.

Like I'd want that, he thought. Some things are too crazy for even Kyle to handle.

At room 1189 Kyle decided now was as good a time as any to ask, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Cartman's breathing paused for a second, then returned to normal. "You offend me, Kyle. Aren't I always nice to you?"

"No. You haven't called me a Jew, or yelled at me, or shoved me up against a wall and threatened my life at all since you came to get me."

"Do you want me to shove you up against a wall?"

Kyle thought about the right answer to that and decided there wasn't one. "Is it because of this morning…?" Kyle for some reason felt the need to reason with why Stan kissed him, but logically knew he shouldn't.

"I wouldn't mind."

"…What?"

"Shoving you up against a wall."

Thank god it was dark. Kyle felt less stupid about blushing. He was on room 1201 now, and knew he didn't have a lot of time before something else would happen.

"Well you haven't."

That was just asking for it, Kyle thought. But Cartman just kept going steadily ahead.

"Why do you want to run away so bad?" Kyle asked and didn't really expect an answer. When he didn't get one, he went on. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Room 1215 and Kyle decided to let it all out right there. "Why do you want to help me? Why aren't you mad that I ruined your plan?"

Kyle was getting flustered at room 1229 but kept going. As long as Eric didn't say anything it felt like he was alone. "Why did you want to blackmail me? Was it for sex? What am I to you? You're toy? You're boyfriend? You're enemy?"

It was room 1243 and he knew his time was almost up before the next big hit. "Why aren't you telling me things? Why are you avoiding the truth? Why do you think this is going to work?"

It was room 1249. Then a few breaths later room 1251. The moment of truth.

"What is the great Eric Cartman's plan?"

Cartman turned then, practically making Kyle topple over from surprise. He grabbed Kyle by the forearms and held him there while he quickly found his lips and kissed him. Kyle tried to say something but couldn't find the words or breath to. Instead, he reached his hand behind his back and turned the door handle to room 1253 and they both fell inside.

On the floor (because they both are graceful people that are ungraceful together) Cartman hung over Kyle. His face was slightly visible in the light from a window. He looked… frustrated. But not angry. "Jesus, Kyle…" He said, huffing slightly. "All you had to do was ask."

After a second of waiting for Kyle's reply, he got up and looked around, squinting. "Well." He said. "You did it. Nice work."

"Where are we?" Kyle said, still lying on the floor, propping himself up with his elbows. He felt a bit pathetic and realized why when he felt a bit of wetness land on his shoulder.

"Teacher's lounge." Cartman said opening and closing cupboards.

Kyle quickly tried to wipe away his stupid pointless tears hoping Eric didn't notice. "Why?"

Cartman opened another cabinet and grinned at what he found. "Well," He said, pulling out a few bottles of something and setting them on a table. "Do you want to go through this sober?"

"Alcohol. Of course." Kyle said, sitting up at rolling his eyes at the educational system provided to him.

"Well it is South Park," Eric said happily.