Ark Misadventures

Well, it appears many enjoyed the previous chapter. Now to respond to the reviews…and apologize for the long wait since it took me at least a few months to think this up and revise it and how hysterical I got in DS2 (I swear I drank too much coffee and summer was starting)…and to Silver Horror that it isn't a Sonic vs. Shadow skit. And to Shadow Lover for the "Dead Hedgehog Sketch" (Overlooking that the reviewer has no idea where I live -unless she somehow comes through the computer screen-).

Silver Horror- I'm continuing after…five or so months. And I've got two unfinished SonicvsShadow skit ideas…which are not very good in my opinion and lack humor. Thanks a lot for the ideas though!

Shadow Lover- Okay, I apologized…but I may have to do so again for this next one. And I'm a Shadow-fan-girl too so, CALL THEM OFF! Please…? Thank you!

A reviewer without a Log-In- Heck, you guessed right about this next chapter A-reviewer-without-a-Log-In. Someone is definitely going to get kicked in the...err...yeah. Thank you and enjoy!

shade2light3- I'm glad you liked it and I hope you and the others enjoy this next skit.

Dark Dragon Kyra- He's awake…and in a fowl mood…I don't blame him…I'd be ticked if I was knocked over the head. (LOL) You must've enjoyed it THAT much to laugh that loud and alert everyone in the library. If you enjoyed that then this next bit would probably have readers clutching onto their ribs.

Sassy-Sunspark-You're off the site? Aw…I was hoping to see the end of your recent fanfic. But the nice thing to know is you're still reading Ark Misadventures (THANK YOU!). I haven't played Sonic Riders since I'm not a fan of racing games (even if it was Sonic based) but I'll tell you this much: I'm so cheesed off at Devil Doom I wish I could enter the game with a shotgun and (AAAAAAAAARGH)… And I was really close to beating him when I lost all my rings and Shadow fell for the billionth time. In short I haven't beaten the game as easily as I did SA2. SIGH! Ah well…please enjoy this next skit!

LoneGunGirl88- Run LoneGunGirl88! RUN! I'd probably stop the 3-in-a-row-Horror-Movie-Marathon if "Salem's Lot" is put up first –I don't have it but I WILL get it! (Even though my mom tells me it gave HER nightmares) -. I also hope I wasn't insane in the last DS2 chapters because I distinctly remember being energetic for summer vacation. (No wonder people stopped reviewing on it. They probably think I DID go insane!) I'm thinking of removing the muse commentaries until further notice if that's the case. Thanks for reviewing!

Queen of the Sacred Flames- If you thought that was funny then check out this next one! Thanks a bunch!

Okay, ONTO THE SKIT!

#7: How to clean a Hedgehog
(Parody of How to clean a Cat)

Note: This does not work on robotic or cybernetic hedgehogs because they will short circuit when coming in contact with water. It does put up a good light show but there's a high chance of electrocution.

Step 1: Thoroughly Clean the Toilet

Step 2: Put on the nessisary anti-hedgehog armor so you wouldn't get beaten to death by the hedgehog in the near future.

Step 3: Add tons of his/her shampoo to the toilet water

Step 4: Find the Hedgehog and tell him/her something appealing (For instance: Chili Dogs/Maria's Revived/Sonic wants to ask you out/I found the Iblis Trigger/etc.) (Or you could just settle for: "The Chaos Emerald you had earlier just got flushed down the toilet…" This would have the hedgehog flying into the bathroom.)

Step 5: Once the hedgehog is in the bathroom which you have cornered him/her in, lock the door behind you and proceed to try and catch the hedgehog within the confined space.

Step 5½: Try to avoid his/her homing attacks, hammer, telekinesis, or other powers since you're in a confined space with the hedgehog. Well, that's why you needed the armor in Step 2.

Step 6: Once you've caught him/her, proceed to force him/her into the toilet. (This procedure tends to be improvised.) Once you succeed, slam the lid down and either sit on it or apply another form of weight. (It's a good idea to ask GUN/Eggman if it's possible to borrow a robot for this situation beforehand.) Just keep away from the edges because the hedgehog may try to slash your limbs off with his/her quills/knives/etc.

Step 7: Allow the hedgehog to struggle around in the toilet. Don't mind the hedgehog, it's having fun plus it is making a lot of suds. And ignore the yells of profanity (which are obviously being directed towards you).

Step 8: Flush 3-4 times for a good power wash and rinse that is effective in this situation. (Don't worry about the bloodcurdling scream. It's common knowledge that hedgehogs love water.)

Step 8½: If the toilet overflows, call a plumber. (And I don't mean the Mario Brothers)

Step 9: Once the wash-rinse is complete, open the door to the bathroom and open the front door while keeping the lid strapped down. (But you could keep the bathroom door closed for optimal amusement –See step 10½-)

Step 10: Stand behind the toilet as much as you can and open the lid. The hedgehog will rocket out the room before you can utter his/her name and flee to the outdoors where the hedgehog will dry up.

Step 10½: If you've kept the door closed, the hedgehog would either (1) create a gigantic hole in the door that would resemble it's body shape (2) get plastered to the door (3) smash into the door and end up unconscious (4) the door will get knocked down and the hedgehog would be going on a little amusement ride down the stairs…and probably end up in a door-accident.
The worst case scenario will involve the hedgehog ricocheting off the door and flying at you like a frenzied pin-ball thats covered with spikes.

Step 11: Take an extended vacation on a very-far-away resort/cruise since the hedgehog (and/or his/her fans) will probably swear to kill you for shoving him/her in a toilet. And its best that you sleep with both eyes open and carry a semi-automatic rifle at all times.

Sincerely,
Imperfection07 (Who did this earlier to a certain muse and is currently in a body cast)

Please Review on this Chapter!