Ark Misadventures
Hello! I'm back after a (looks at previous update) very long dry spell for this fanfic! Sorry to keep you waiting!
Review Responses
Eric Neo Matrix – Thanks for the review!
Silver Horror – Thanks! Keep up the good work!
Cats-rock-and-so-does-cheese – Thanks! Here's another one!
LoneGunGirl88 – Yep, Shadow's usually getting the short end of the stick. XD Thanks for the review!
#10: Hedgehog Hustle
[Rabbit Rampage/Duck Amuck parody
It was about mid-afternoon in Green Hill Zone. The sun was shining, the flowers were blossoming, everything seemed normal. A blue colored blur abruptly streaked past the surroundings. It didn't notice a gigantic generic boulder sprout up in front of it—
CRASH!
Sonic the Hedgehog, the fastest thing alive, was flattened against the side of the rock. Both his arms were sticking out on either side of the rock while his face was planted into the side. Obviously in pain, the hedgehog peeled himself off and tried to regain his composure.
"Where the heck did that boulder come from?" Sonic clutched at his bruised muzzle with one hand before turning his attention forwards. Upon seeing the current typist, the hedgehog snapped to attention and pointed accusingly. "Oh it's YOU huh?! Well if you're the one typing this skit then I'm out!"
Sonic abruptly walked past the boulder. "Capital O. U. T. OUT!" The hedgehog then walked to the far side of the screen and got set for a run. "So good bye and good riddance—"
No sooner had Sonic taken more than a step further; a concrete wall appeared in front of him.
BAM!
"What's the big idea?!" Sonic, once again, peeled himself off the generic blunt object and glared while rubbing his injured nose. "I said I'm not going to partake in this! So don't try to stop me!" The hedgehog snapped before leaping over the wall and running several feet forwards—
SPLAT!
—and into another wall…
Sonic pried himself off. "Watch it you—" The hedgehog found a censor bar across his mouth which he tugged off and threw elsewhere. "Oh! HAR-HAR! Make the audience think I was going to spew a curse word and up the rating! You are such a—" And a mass of censor bars engulfed his face. Sonic seethed silently before jumping up and down screaming incomprehensible words that were thankfully muted by the strips before the hedgehog tore them off and threw them elsewhere.
"You know something?" Sonic pointed, his shoulders raised with one fist clenched around a sign that read: "I take steroids." "I ought to tell SEGA on you! You're a menace to gaming society and—"
It was then that Sonic spotted the sign in his hand and threw it with a panicked yell.
"HOLY CRAP! What are you trying to do: make me lose my job?!" Sonic tried to keep his cool as he held another sign: "I eat Cheese for lunch.". "I've been doing the best I could do since 1991 and built up some good will to my video game p—EEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Sonic threw the sign a far distance into the background, where it fell with a splash into the water, before turning back. "Okay-okay you made your point! You're the boss! Just don't do anything that would boost the rating beyond the PG level and I'll get to work. So, how's the scene supposed to—"
The hedgehog glanced upwards. His green eyes became focused on a fat flickie that was sitting on a nest that was perched perfectly atop his head.
Sonic grabbed the nest and tossed it, as well as the fat bird, away. "Oh that's funny! I don't suppose you're going to make the next thing you place on my head all fancy!" The hedgehog snapped as he wore a flamboyant hat decorated with feather plumes and looked as though it was from the 1930s.
"CUT THAT OUT!" Sonic ripped the hat off his head and threw it against the ground before shooting an irritable look. "I'm serious! What's wrong with you?! Don't tell me you drank sugar-water and are now feeling hyper! That's the lamest—" The hedgehog grabbed the top of his head and pulled off a Santa-Claus hat.
"—excuse—" Sonic promptly removed and threw Dr. Robotnik's goggles away.
"—I have ever—" He pried off an old fashioned diving helmet.
"—heard—" Sonic proceeded to undo a baby bonnet and throw it.
"—in all my—" He gingerly removed Tails and ushered the kit out.
"—LIFE!" Sonic finished as he was inside a gigantic top-hat before throwing it.
"I quit! If this is how you write a fanfic then forget it! I'm gone! Find another character to mess with, you crazy idiot!" The hedgehog then proceeded to stomp off, firing off a rant that contained several words which shall not be repeated in this skit. The Green Hill Zone then changed into an ocean scene that had a floating buoy…with Sonic walking atop the water's surface. The hedgehog halted in place, looked down, yelped, and promptly got a death grip on the buoy…which tilted backwards into the water.
KER-SPLASH!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGH!!!!!!" Sonic flailed in the knee-deep water. "CALL A LIFE GUARD! CALL THE NAVY SEALS! HELP ME! I'M DROW—wait a sec." The hedgehog stopped flailing and looked down at the water. He flicked the surface with minor curiosity before glaring straight at the unknown writer.
"You son of a—" Sonic was promptly knocked backwards by another flying censor bar.
The word document was saved and placed in a random folder before getting closed. A certain black and red character couldn't help but chuckle at recalling his rival's reactions to being messed with in the skit as he switched off the computer he was seated at.
"Heh-heh…faker…"
Authoress' Commentary:
I finally found the perfect theme for Sonic vs. Shadow! One of my ideas included making the two have a thumb war but it didn't seem all that funny. Then, as you can probably tell, I got a better idea from watching Looney Tunes and typed this all out in (counts) a few sittings. Not sure if I should've added more to this but…(shrugs)
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