Thanks for all the nice reviews:)

musicsetsmefree1- I wasn't sure about the "pretty boy" thing either...I think i just had a major brain fart or something when I wrote that...heehee...

Enjoy!

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

[Lifehouse- Whatever It Takes

Junior

"Sam…" I sobbed and my tears began to fall in messy clumps onto the floor. You were alive. After two weeks of not knowing where you were, who you were with, or if you were alive or dead, you finally decided to return.

My breaths came in slow, shallow gasps as you made your way across my room towards me. Your eyes were red and swollen due to a mixture of lack of sleep and crying. Your chest was bare and dirty, but your muscles seemed larger, if possible.

My eyes became angry slits stained with tears. We stood face to face, not saying a word. My silent weeping and your husky breaths were all that could be heard.

"Leah…"

Slap!

My hand throbbed with pain, but the pain vibrating down my palm felt good. It began to sting with warmth, and I guiltily loved it. I guess that when you left, the sense of feeling escaped my knowledge. I forgot how to feel.

You took it all in—all the punches and slaps that I threw your way that, undoubtedly, did more damage to me than you. I was furious, yet relieved. Ecstatic, yet enraged. You finally wrapped your strong arms around my flailing body and pulled me close. I cried into your chest and you let me. Despite the hell that you put me through, I still missed you.

I took in the musky scent of you and began tracing your chest with my trembling fingers. Your sad eyes never left me. I kissed your stomach, your shoulders, your neck, cheeks, jaw, and then your mouth. There was too much force in our kiss for either one of us to handle. Your arms around my waist kept pulling me tighter into you; my hands were fiercely tangled into your messy hair. It was a cold night, but it seemed like heat was radiating from every inch of you, keeping me warm. You lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around your waist, still pulling you closer. We began stumbling in the dark, but you soon had me pinned against a wall.

"Leah…I…am…so…sorry…" You said in between kisses. We finally broke apart, lips swollen, foreheads touching, breathing loud. Your hand gently grazed my damp cheek and I instinctively shuddered at the touch. My room was dark, but I could still see the worry and sadness emitting from your deep brown eyes.

"Sam…where'd you go? What happened?" I croaked. Your gaze fell. "Was it…me?"

Your eyes flashed up to mine in a tense frenzy.

"Leah, no. No! Don't ever think that! It's just…I've been…"

I could feel my eyes watering again. Your pain was my pain.

"Whatever it is, I will be there for you. No matter what. You just can't leave me like that…"

You kissed my tears, causing me to cry even harder. You began kissing my neck and the pleasure slowly sank in. We both secretly wished that everything would go back to normal, but somewhere deep within ourselves, we knew that we were far from normal.

"Hey."

"Hi."

It's been like this for three weeks. You were graduating in another two.

You lightly kissed my forehead as you swung an umbrella over our heads. We headed for your car in silence…again. Our relationship became a routine—the excitement, the admiration, everything was amiss.

"So…you still coming over tonight to study?" I asked, dully. Naturally, I already knew the answer to this, but asking became a custom.

"Oh…um…I don't think I can today…I got some stuff to do and things to catch up on…sorry…"

Blood boiled under my skin. Not because you had "stuff to do" or "things to catch up on" but because I knew that you felt you had to hide things instead of confide in me. Instead of the usual answer ("right."), I decided to be bold and stop pretending that I wasn't upset. I stepped out into the rain and angrily stomped towards the direction of my house. It was only a couple of miles away, a little rain didn't scare me.

"Leah! LEAH! Stop, stop!" You caught up to me and quickly shielded me from the attacking rain. "What are you doing?? Are you crazy?!"

"I don't know, Sam! Am I crazy? Am I crazy for wanting to spend time with my boyfriend or for wondering where he's been running off to every night? Wondering why he's avoiding me and not telling me what these 'things' and 'stuff' are? Cause if that seems a little crazy, then yes, Sam, I am indeed 'crazy'!" I dipped out into the rain again with more determination. It was only a matter of seconds before the umbrella was over my head once again.

"It's complicated ok? You wouldn't be able to understand."

"What have I done in this relationship that would make you think that I wouldn't understand?!" I was on the verge of tears and it seemed that we had attracted an audience. I sucked in my breath and cradled your abnormally warm hand in mine. "I love you more than anything. You have my heart…how can I trust you with it when you don't have any trust in me?"

Your expression was wounded. "Leah, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. It's just…I'm not safe, Leah. I don't even know what I am anymore!"

"You're Sam, I'm Leah. You loved me once upon a time."

"Leah, I love you. That's the only thing I know for sure. I love you, and as messed up as my life may be, you're the only thing that's keeping me grounded—that's reassuring me that I'm not a complete lunatic."

I hadn't realized I'd been crying until you began to tenderly stroke my cheek.

"Then why can't you tell me?"

"Because I wouldn't even begin to know what to tell you. I don't even know what's going on myself. I just…need you to understand."

I shut my eyes and nodded reluctantly as you pulled me into your chest. The argument was over. My emotions were out, and yet I still felt that I hadn't gained any new knowledge. I hugged you tighter, foolishly hoping that whatever it was that was bothering you would just magically disappear and things would return to normal. Oh, how silly of me