Chapter Two, Heading

Vampire Crayons

Resting my elbows against the window sill, I sighed, letting my gaze drift over the courtyard below. Green, black, and red plants bordered the stone and grew in between the cracks. I couldn't imagine the last time this space was used, looking very overgrown and such; too many sunny days in Volterra. I might have possibly jumped down just to touch the soft grass if it weren't for the fixed glass window pane baring my way.

Glass, lovely invention, essentially- keeps everything out while still being able to see what's outside. It's clear, smooth, and flawless, and cool to the touch on the fleshiest hands. Toddlers pressed their faces up to the panes on their parents' cars, trying to push them open and feel the wind on their rosy cheeks. But for them, it's a boundary that can't be crossed. This didn't exist for me, though. With the slightest kiss of my fingernail against the window, the glass would shatter and rain down in potentially deadly shards to the wily flowers below.

Surprisingly, I am reminded of myself whenever I looked through the glass. I am finally returned to live the life of a true vampire: to drink blood, hide in the darkness, and brood around musty places. Already, they had cloaked me in the Volturi's signature robes and had me 'dine' with them in the great hall. I never liked their informal way of treating their meals: tossing them aside and into the sewers after the once humans were dead. All of my victims were given to a proper burial and a last prayer. Here, the immortals' customs lay thick upon the company, pressing me down into their arms until I no longer felt whole or human. Aro, Marcus, and Caius argued that the humans make us whole, because that's what we are. But they never traveled outside their palace walls and their network of castle guards; they haven seen of felt what I have. And from our first gathering I knew coming home was a mistake. I was pure and un-punctured glass, easily broken by one wrong move, one wrong choice.

For many years I coexisted with the humans, adopting their ridiculous ways and meeting them at cafes for a drink, which I would casually excuse myself from. My immortal beauty was intimidating to them, but still, it lured them, and I collected myself many friends. Of course, I left them all in the end, when I could no longer look the part that I was playing. Yet, because of all of this, I realized that humans weren't like tissues you could use and throw away; they were souls. Perhaps to some of my kind they don't have any faith and think they have been cut out of this hope, but not me. I hardly think it was any of our faults when it came to how we came to be. We are murderers, wraiths, loners; however, we are still people, therefore we have souls.

With stiff elbows, I pushed off the ledge and set out to find my masters. I found only one, Marcus, who busied himself with a table filled with rolled out maps from all eras, hunched over in his chair in the grand library. When I came to know him I found that Marcus was an explorer, though he couldn't tear himself away from his brothers. He ordered various members to travel to far off places and take pictures, buy souvenirs and observe. He amassed his maps and sea charts, being astounded as the globe seemed to change every year, a favorite of his pastimes.

"Marcus," I said with a bow. He turned slowly and returned the gesture before patting the chair beside him. I obliged and brought myself closer to the maps. "I have something to ask you."

"Then ask," his pale hand returned to the most recent of the charts and traced the lines of longitude and latitude.

"I would like to leave, if that is okay with you… ugh, and the others?"

"Why are you asking me?" I detected a sour edge to his voice. "We've never stopped you before." His lips pressed together tightly as he fought a grimace.

"Because," I replied sadly. "Last time I made a mistake when I ran off without even a by-your-leave. I can't allow myself to do that again."

Marcus still wouldn't make eye contact with me. "Then stay."

"No, I can't. I don't belong here, this is my home, but I can not stay. I've made myself comfortable with the living world and it with me. But it's just so different here, too different. I need to leave, you see?" No response.

I lifted one hand out of the folds of my robe and pointed to the map he was looking at now. "Look at this, Marcus," I said, tracing the continents and islands. "All these places filled with wonders. I know these places like the back of my hand. Then here," I stopped at Italy. "This is where you are, and you know this place just as I don't. I'm still out there, no matter where I am, even if my body is stuck here."

"Aro, Caius," Marcus shouted to his brothers. "Come quickly." Then he spoke to me. "If this is what you wish, I will discuss it with them. So leave, now. I will call for you when we are done."

And I waited a long time back in the confines of my room. I tried to preoccupy myself with reading of my personal favorites, Jane Eyre. No such luck, chucking the book to the side and instead positioning a mandolin in my arms. The sound wasn't right and the strings un-tuned from the years of solitude. Dejected, I threw the instrument across the floor with the book and lay down prostrated on the bed. With my head in the pillows I let out a tiny scream and kicked my legs around like an immature child. Suspense would kill me if I wasn't already dead.

"Isabella, Dear." Jane's small arctic fingers massaged my back. "Come along now, our leaders are waiting for you. They sent me to find you. So hurry up and compose yourself." She lifted me by a limp hand and tugged me down the stone stairwells. It wasn't until I reached the throne room and stood before the three awesome vampires that I finally became conscious of their staring eyes and my nerves.

Caius wouldn't look at me, frowning off into the distance. Aro tried to smile but only managed to put his mouth in a drawn line. Marcus bored into my head with understanding and resentment for it, and I could only listen.

"We have decided," Aro said in a booming and pleasant tone. "That you may leave us, if you so desire, but…" My fists clenched instinctively and jaw tightened. "We have one request."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and asked, "What is your condition?"

"Condition, oh, no." Aro said, delighted that I was going along with their plan. "You have always been valuable to us, Bella, and we only ask one thing. We would like you to stay with some friends of ours, the Cullens. Carlisle and his coven have been living amongst the humans since they first formed, and we would feel safe having you there with them. There are many to their family and offer some of the best protection. The Cullens live in a rather overcast town in Washington, U.S.A. They attend school-."

"Very well," I interrupted.

Later that day, I found the sun escaping me and night settling in over the horizon outside my paned window. My bags, three, were full of necessities and things I couldn't part with: A golden wood violin, Jane Eyre and a volume of Jane Austen classics, a painting of me with Jane and Heidi outside the chateau in matching black dresses, wearing red roses in our hair, and an Ivory handled brush my French mother, Renee, had given me on my sixteenth birthday, the year before I was changed. These were my prized possessions, stuffed beside clothes, shoes, and cleaning products. Ready to go, I hoisted all of the luggage up in my arms and down the empty, ominous halls of the castle.

My footfalls echoed down the paths as I tried to distract myself by recounting the visit Caius had paid me while I was packing.

"Here," He said, thrusting a few rustling papers at my chest. I snatched them all as they hit me with an 'oomph'. "There's a note for you and a letter for the Doctor, Carlisle Cullen. In yours I included directions to their residence and a map of Forks, Washington from Marcus. Aro welcomes you any time you wish to visit us, though we know better now than to expect a permanent stay."

"Caius, that's hardly fair. Marcus must have covered this with you, I need to leave, my sanity depends on it. Besides, it's not like we'll never meet again. And you know I love you, brother." Then in my best hippie talk I added, "Peace, dude. Relax and smell the gardenias, man. Joy to the world!"

At this, he just had to crack a smile, and that was all the leeway I needed to give him the hug I know he deserved.

"You're really leaving, Bella?" He held me away at arms length to see my nod. "Then I wish you bon voyage, my dear friend." I loosened his grip and stepped back.

"Do you remember the first time we met, and Alec brought me to the throne room? I thought I was going to final judgment, only to find you wanted me part of the family."

"Mm, yes, and what I great gift you brought along with you, my little mademoiselle! Along with that accent, I thought it would never go away- the entire court couldn't understand you for years!" We laughed until we, well, tried to cry and then he left leaving me to my own devices. It felt like a final parting, but I knew it wasn't true. Someday I wouldn't be back, but Caius was right, I would never stay here for good.

I rushed past the sleeping secretary in the visitors' lobby and slipped out the door, dragging my suitcases out behind me into the timid night. The moon shone brightly over the gleaming black stretch of the limo the other's hired for my transport to the plane-station. I ignored all its fancy trimmings and the ogling human driver in the front seat, just to stare up at the faint stars, washed out by the city's street lamps and lit rooms.

"Good bye, fair city. Forks… here I come," I whispered and slipped into the vehicle and out of sight.