In the still of the night, he can hear the young child crying out. Still half asleep he manages the stairs, gripping the railing to keep his unsteady legs from slipping on the pale carpeting. Rubbing a hand over his face, he pads into the nursery to find the boy laying in the crib, whimpering softly, flapping his hands in his fury.
"You know, you sleep better on the nights that she has to get up," Luke mutters to the boy as he lifts the baby out of the crib holding him against his chest. He braces a hand on the back of Gabriel's head, his other hand holding the baby against him, holding tight to the baby's back. Placing a kiss on the side of Gabriel's head, he closes his eyes, rocking the baby back and forth.
If someone would have come to him five years ago, heck even three years ago, and told him that he would be awake at three in the morning, cradling an infant against his chest, he would have laughed at them. No, he would have shaken his head and growled at them. Like that scene in The Lion King when the nice calm Mufasa suddenly growls when his brother is annoying him. But then Mufasa had turned out to be a good father. Wait a second, where did these thoughts come from? What has this child, who is currently clutching his t-shirt in his fists, done to him? Some Disney movie has invaded his thoughts?
Actually, he knows his mind was changed long before Gabriel's birth, long before Liz had charged into his diner and unknowingly revealed that she was pregnant, long before April showed up and ripped out his hair. He probably had always wanted to be a father but had never known it, until Lorelai. Until Lorelai. That's a point in time. The date is circled in red in the timeline of his life.
There was a point in his life when he could have pictured their children. They all looked exactly like her, just like Rory. He could picture himself raising a kid with her, maybe more than one. He could picture himself trying to be there for her when she was pregnant and trying to keep the coffee away from her. He could picture himself chasing their children around the yard, teaching them to play baseball, reminding them that vegetables are good for them, while Lorelai stood by his side, good-naturedly fixing things when they went wrong. He had wanted to be a father. He wanted to be a father to children with Lorelai. Only with Lorelai.
But living in the past won't do anymore. Right now he has a whimpering child in his arms and for the rest of his life, Gabriel must come first. So he carries the baby over to the window, pushing the drapery aside so they can look out, and tries to remember what Liz had done when her son was upset. She had rocked her sons, both of them, and sang to them. Blackbird. That had been her song and as much as he appreciates the Beatles, he can't remember the words to sing it to her son. Instantly he feels guilty. How can he promise to replace the mother this boy will never know when he's nothing like her? They shared a nose, a last name, an appreciation for the simple life, but that was it. They hadn't been close like Bert and Ernie, although he had heard that there were reasons that he wouldn't want to be close like Bert and Ernie.
So instead he sings the only song he can think of at this moment in time. "She's got a way about her, don't know what it is," he croons softly as he rocks the child in his arms. Continuing on with the song, he fails to realize that a tear has drifted down his cheek
Standing in the doorway, she thinks she can see the tear. She heard Gabriel's quiet noises, but hadn't gotten out of bed, waiting for Luke, knowing that he would do as promised, that he would check on the baby. Marriage hadn't changed things much for them. Luke still slept on the couch and she in their – her – bedroom. They were still separated by everything but the new shiny rings on their fingers and their love for the boy in the nursery next door. But something was changing, somehow she felt that icy shield around his heart was letting her in, if only to comfort him because she was the only one who knew exactly how and when and what he needed. Maybe it was more. Maybe he was finally ready to take a change, to forgive her. Maybe he understands now that she regretted that night more than anything she had done her life, possibly more than Ted Kennedy regretted that drive over the Chappaquiddick Bridge. Maybe he had heard her when she reminded him that she loved him.
Though she had heard Luke get up, just as she knew he would, she stayed awake, just listening. She heard Luke talking quietly to Gabriel and smiled to herself, her words to Anna just a few days before still ringing true in her mind. But, when after a moment the sounds decreased, both of Luke's murmurs and Gabriel's whimpers, and there was no added noise of Luke walking back down the stairs, she decided to get out of bed. Grabbing her thin robe off the floor, she pulled it on, tying the sash around her waist as she walked over to the nursery.
The scene she finds as she stands in the doorway of the nursery is poignant as she literally feels her eyes fill with tears. It reminds her of the final scene in Nine Months, the image of Luke in the nursery, cradling the baby against him, as he softly sings a tune. She's warmed through and through and it doesn't even matter that Gabriel really isn't her son, she still feels like the proud mother watching her husband be a wonderful daddy to their child. Even if they don't adopt Gabriel, even if things spin out of control, this will still be the most lovely scene she's ever witnessed.
"She comes to me when I'm feeling down, inspires me without a sound," he sings as she moves her hand slightly, her wedding ring tapping against the doorway alerting him to the fact that she's standing there. He pauses his singing to turn and face her, placing another small kiss on Gabriel's head to assure the boy that it's just Lorelai, that it's just the only other person in the world who would do anything for him. She smiles softly at him, wanting him to know how much the sight in front of her pleases her. "I was trying not to wake you," he tells her sleepily, but she just takes a few tentative steps towards him.
She brushes his elbow softly, just using her small touch to let him know that it wasn't him that woke her up, that it doesn't bother her that she was woken up. Placing a small kiss on the back of Gabriel's head, she brushes her hand slowly down the child's back. He seems so peaceful wrapped in his uncle arms, calmed by the deep timbre of his uncle's voice. Finally she tears her gaze from the boy and up to the eyes of the man in front of her, who is staring back at her.
"You know, you look good with a baby in your arms too. Michael Keaton would be proud," she says softly but teasingly. He grunts a small acknowledgement at her joke. "What were you singing? It was lovely. I didn't know you could sing."
Shrugging, as if he didn't really know he could sing either, he rubs the baby's back. "It's a song my dad used to sing. I remember him singing it to my mom. After she died, he never sang it again, I don't think he ever actually sang again. But it reminds me of her," he explains and she appreciates once again the little tidbits he reveals to her about his parents. His love for his parents is so clear, so obviously infinite, that she's constantly amazed when he mentions them to her, knowing that she's one of the few he's let in about them, that she's the only one who he allows to truly perceive his pain.
To let him know she values his openness, she leans forward and places a gentle kiss on his cheek. Though he instantly understands her meaning, both sense how cautious she is. It's like their first kiss all over again. She had sensed he was going to kiss her, she knew he was leaning towards her, and somewhere deep inside, she knew she wanted him to. The second his lips brushed hers for the first kiss, it was hesitant, uncertain, but magical all the same. And she had hesitantly responded, pressing her lips back against his, sparks flying with the more she felt of his lips. But then something in the back of her mind had sent off warning signals, a loud megaphone voice in her head had yelled at her. You're kissing Luke! Luke! Your friend Luke! And she had instantly pulled back, but she hadn't wanted to. Once again they had been scared. Were they really going to take this step? Did she really want to be kissing Luke? All she could think about was the feel of his kiss. The way she knew with just the touch of his lips how much he adored her, how much he wanted her, and the shiver that had driven down her spine had told her how much she enjoyed kissing him as well. So she had taken a few tentative steps forward, timid but curious, and with her eyes focused only on him, had slowly brought her hands and face within millimeters of his, before closing her eyes and pressing her lips to his once again, this time with her lips slightly parted. He was no longer shy, slipping his tongue inside her mouth, warm and wonderful and all barriers were broken as she wrapped her arms around him tightly.
It's the same, but yet different, the uncertain feeling there, but for an entirely different reason. She knows she could kiss him, actually kiss him, and he might actually kiss her back, but she doesn't want to take the chance yet. She doesn't want to push too fast. If this is their last chance, if this is going to work, if they're really going to work things out as she hopes they will, then she has to know that he's forgiven her, that he's going to get past her betrayal before she can even think of opening her heart once again. So she turns and walks towards the door. "It reminds me of you," he adds softly and she pauses in the doorway but doesn't turn around. She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes, part of her wanting to turn around and plaster little kisses all over his face but the reasonable part of her knows she should just walk out, let that be it.
For some strange reason, she listens to the reasonable side of her brain, an unusual choice for her. As she walks back down the hall to lay back down and sleep the rest of the night, though she knows Luke's words will live on in her dreams, she can hear Luke begin to sing once again. "She's got a way about her, I don't know what it is. But I know I can't live without her anyway."