The morning light streams through the blinds, blanketing her in a radiance as if she descended from heaven. Though he knows he should just let her sleep after their lovemaking that went late into the night, she was so exhausted when she finally fell asleep, but the smile on her face had revealed nothing but contentment and satisfaction. He had watched her for a moment or so before closing his eyes, knowing that this was a moment he wanted to savor forever, like the first time he had laid eyes on her on that warm summer's day over ten years ago.
His mother had once warned that a human brain can only store so many memories, only so many moments can one savor for all time, so he must chose which are important, and sometimes they choose themselves. He can't remember the day his parents brought Liz home from the hospital, but he'll never forget the look on Liz's face the day she brought Gabriel home from the hospital. He can't remember the days he was separated from Lorelai during their first breakup and the second, they all seem to run together, but he can remember the pleading look on her face when he broke up with her in Doose's market and when she begged him to elope with her. And maybe he doesn't want to remember those expressions, but he knows he should, he needs them as a reminder of the man he had been, of how he had treated her like she didn't matter, like she wasn't the only person in the world he couldn't live without.
But the look on her face as she fell asleep last night and the peaceful expression he sees on her now as he lifts up his head and looks over her shoulder, these are images he wants to remember. So that whenever he misses her, even if just during the day while she's at work, he can conjure up this picture in his mind and his heart will fill once again. "I love you, Lorelai," he whispers placing a small kiss on the tip of her shoulder. "You are my heart." He places kisses down her arm, as he pulls the blanket down to reveal her pale skin to his view. Leaning over her, to see if she's awake, he lightly runs his hand over her bare arms and then forward to over her flat stomach, and watches as her lips curve up slightly, though her eyelids remain closed. He presses his face into her shoulder, breathing in what was once a familiar scent to him, a sweet, fruity, exotic scent, so very Lorelai in nature. "Forever Lorelai. Forever," he whispers before lowering his lips to nibble at her neck.
She lets out a soft sigh, turning her head even more to give him better access. He nips and kisses at her neck, his hand tracing circles over the soft skin of her stomach, knowing he's arousing her more every second. As he moves his hand off, she whines quietly, missing his touch, wanting more and more. So he acquiesces, as she knew he would, placing his hand back on her collarbone, his arm wrapped beneath hers, his fingers tracing back and forth over the bone. He moves his hand down further to palm her breasts, taking time to touch and squeeze each one, his fingers tweaking her nipples as she arches in to his hand and moans. Every sound from her lips is music to his ears, each noise just a note in the melody of the song he missed when he laid alone in bed without her.
As he slowly slides his hand back down her body, when she would normally buck her hips towards his hand, he instead her feels her hand grab his wrist tightly. He pauses his lips on her neck and glances again over her shoulder, seeing a darkened expression on her face and without asking, he knows why. Last night, their lovemaking had been equal, give and take, give and take, both ways, both coming again and again together. But this morning, he did as he used to, he was worshiping her, happy just to make her as satisfied as he can, but he knows, nothing had changed in her feelings about herself. She had always been quick to forgive, anyone, it didn't matter. Rory was forgiven as quickly as she had left Lorelai's life. When he had returned to her arms after their long month apart back in February of 2005, she had forgiven him without question. Even Emily and Christopher were forgiven for trying to tear her away from the man she loved, something that he had often wished she hadn't done. But that was her way, she could excuse anyone and anything but her own faults, she believed she was the worst kind of person. He knows that he if doesn't force her to, she might never forgive herself for sleeping with Christopher, she might hate herself forever, she is truly her own worst enemy. "You can forgive yourself, Lorelai," he whispers, his lips barely a centimeter away from her ear.
As he gazes upon her, she closes her eyes tightly and he knows that she's hearing his words again and trying to follow his direction. Before she lifts her eyelids, he feels her grip relax on his wrist, slowly but surely her fingertips brush down his arm, almost as a thank you for allowing her this moment, giving her leave to pardon herself. She opens her eyes as a tear slips down her cheek, absolving her of her sins, ones she believed were unpardonable. He presses a kiss onto her shoulder, almost right where her neck begins to curve up and he feels her head move up and down, a nod to let him know it's okay, that she's ready, that she agrees that she needs to let go. So he skims his hand lower, slipping his fingers into the part between her legs, feeling her hot and ready for him. And as he dips his fingers inside of her and rubs gently against her core, circling them slowly at first, his lips never leave the spot of skin he had picked out on her creamy shoulder. As his fingers pick up speed, rubbing and circling faster, dipping again and again deep with in her, she begins to moan and soon the room is filled with nothing but the sounds of her whimpers and moans followed by cries of his name as she finally lets go.
After her breathing slows, she turns to lay flat on her back, reaching across her body for his left bicep and pulling him on top of her. She had felt his arousal pressing in her back and knew that he was just as ready as she had been. Again he slides his hands up to grasp her hands and interlaces their fingers. He looks down at her, seeing the morning light in her eyes, but now even more than that, he can see everything, their future, not their current children, not Gabriel, but more than that, he sees their unborn child, and he sees how her eyes shine with eternal love. "I love you," he whispers thickly, the rush of emotions he's feeling at the moment apparent in every word. Pressing his lips to hers, softly at first but then with more intensity as he slides deep within her. She circles her hips and he begins to thrust, pulling out and back in slowly, bending his head down to kiss her deeply as he thrusts again and again. They make love slowly and tenderly, wanting each moment to last, wanting to savor every last second together, although they know that they now have the rest of their lives together. Soon she is crying out his name again as her climax sends vibrations throughout her body, sending Luke over the edge, releasing deep within her as he calls out her name in ecstasy.
Once they both have recovered, both feeling more content and sated than they had almost since the morning after their engagement, they shower and dress. Luke takes a moment as Lorelai does her hair to call April and invite her to breakfast, knowing that Rory is on her way with Gabriel. This would be the best time he can think of to bring them all together as a family for the first time. As she comes out of the bathroom and grabs a pair of sweatpants, she flashes him a smile and he can't imagine how he ever thought he could have lived without these moments, these simple everyday moments. He's about to say something to her, he isn't sure what, but something, something that he feels should be said, but a sound from downstairs stops him.
Lorelai's face lights up as she grabs her robe off the floor and runs out of the room, still tying the sash around her waist. "Gabriel," she exclaims and he quickly picks up a t-shirt to follow her down the hall. When she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she gasps in girlish delight, clapping her hands together and pressing them to her lips. Though her grown daughter is standing right in front of her, Lorelai can't seem to take her eyes off of Gabriel. Her face lights up as he twists in Rory's arm and notices her, reaching out towards her. "Can I?" Lorelai asks, reaching out her arms for the boy. Rory nods and places Gabriel in Lorelai's arms, which immediately wrap around the boy, holding him against her body. "Hi Sweet Boy. Hi. Did you have a good time with Dawn? I'm so happy you still have all your limbs," she coos to him, lifting him up in her arms and nuzzling her nose to his.
Luke finally walks down the stairs, his gaze stuck on the picture in front of him of his wife cuddling the baby in her arms. He remembers his dream back during the night after she proposed. It's eerie how similar that matches to the scene in front of him. The only difference is that the baby in his dreams was their child, his and hers, their son that they conceived together and raised together and loved together. And more than anything he's overcome by the desire for the whole trial to be over and Gabriel to finally be theirs. They've come so far, him and Lorelai, in just these few hours, and now with Gabriel home, things are finally seeing to be turning out just as they should.
"Oh oh, you know that hurts when you grab onto Auntie Lorelai's hair, right Baby?" she coos, unwrapping his fingers around the strands of her long dark hair. She glances over at Rory and winks. "So things went okay? The drop off and pick up and everything? Man, I sound like he's little more than ransom money." Rory laughs. Lorelai shakes her head as Gabriel lays his head on her shoulder, grabbing her robe in his fists instead, and Lorelai rubs his back, rocking him in her arms. "Come on Kid, spill."
Rory shrugs. She watches her mother hold the boy, never really having seen Lorelai with a baby in her arms. It seems completely natural to her, like something she could have seen every day. And then Luke walks down the stairs to stand next to Lorelai, resting his hand on her lower back, he runs his fingers over Gabriel's hand, placing a kiss there as well. To Rory, it's like she's watching a little family come together. As she watches Lorelai looks up into Luke's eyes with a tenderness that can only come from deep and true affection and he looks down at her and Gabriel like a father and a husband who is so filled with devotion to his family that they are all that matters to him in the world. And suddenly she feels like a third wheel, like she doesn't belong. In her head she can hear that little annoying song they sang in preschool. One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong. Here in her house, in the place where she grew up, in the home that her mother had chosen as the perfect place to raise her, she feels out of place. This is no longer her home, this is their home and she realizes that it has been that way for a long time. It's been Luke and Lorelai's home since she moved out to Hartford almost two years ago, since her mother proposed to Luke and he decided to move in, since they renovated the whole place to make it their home, to make it feel like a place that both of them could identify with.
"Rory?" Lorelai says, wondering why her daughter hasn't answered her. She had let herself get caught up in the moment of Luke standing by her side, looking down at her adoringly, looking at Gabriel like every bit the proud Papa. And it isn't that she doesn't want this. Her husband. Her 'son'. But Rory is her angel girl, Rory's the one person she depended on for 20 years, the only person that had mattered in her life. She had given up for much for Rory, had done everything in her power to make sure that Rory's life was as close to perfect as she could get. But there's a difference between the love of a child and the love she has for Luke. Her love for Luke is so real, so pure, so constant, it's so deep and wonderful that she can scarcely breathe when thinking about him. Somehow she feels that if he were all she had left in the world, if Armageddon really happened and all that was left was Luke by her side, it would be enough. Dayenu. And she giggles quietly after hearing that Hebrew word in her mind, she'll have to tell Sookie that something stuck after the Rosenblum's Passover Seder at the inn a few weeks ago.
"I guess it was…." Rory trails off, because she doesn't know how to explain what she saw with Dawn. And then she notices it, something's different. She sees Luke's hand on her mother's back. She sees the way they're standing so that Lorelai and Gabriel are practically leaning into Luke. She sees the way that Lorelai looks up at Luke with her eyes shining, a look of contentment on her face that Rory hasn't seen in so long. "Wait a second… are you… did you… are you back…?" Rory attempts over and over to ask what she's dying to know.
Lorelai just grins, a blissful grin that spreads over her face and lights up the world as it sparkles. "Yes, we are," she answers, her delight clear through the tone of her voice. Rory's eyes light up and she looks from Lorelai to Luke, watching as he blushes but can't keep himself from grinning as well, and she knows it's real. Only her mother, only Lorelai Gilmore, could get a man, who hides his emotions as much as Luke Danes, to grin like an idiot.
"Really!" Rory exclaims, dropping the baby bag on the ground and running the short distance over to Luke and Lorelai and throwing her arms around them. "Oh this is so fabulous!" Luke awkwardly puts his arm around Rory as Lorelai can't with Gabriel in her arms. As she steps back, Rory also can't keep from smiling. Yes, she had her doubts at first, about how this whole thing would work out, she didn't think it was right, her mother marrying Luke even though she loved him, she thought it might never work out, her mother might spend her whole life dreaming that her marriage is more than it is. But now, as she glances from Lorelai to Luke and back, taking in the whole scene in front of her, the happy family, the look on her mother's face, it's clear proof that her doubts were preposterous. They were meant to be together, they just needed time. "This is better than when Grandma and Grandpa patched things up!"
Lorelai rolls her eyes. "I would hope so," she mutters. She feels Luke circle his hand, almost comfortingly, on her back.
There's a silence in the living room for a moment, not an awkward silence, more like giving a chance for the reality of the new situation to sink in. Finally Luke clears his throat and reaches for Gabriel. "Why don't I take him upstairs and change him, give you two some time for… whatever. Then I'll make breakfast before April gets here," he suggests. Lorelai stills her hands as she's in the process of giving the baby to Luke, her eyebrows raised, her jaw dropped, completely shocked. "I… I just thought she could… you know… come over for breakfast. Since, you know, Rory's here… I mean I knew she would be… here, I mean… and all." She slowly relaxes her grip on Gabriel once Luke has the boy safely in his arms. As he moves to cradle the baby against his chest, her look goes from amazement to awe, unbelievably overcome by Luke's gesture.
Yes it seemed clear that he was accepting her presence in April's life. He had offered to let her join him and April to Liz's burial. He had asked her to join him when he picked up April to go to Maryland for their wedding. He had brought April over unexpectedly just to move in the house and after had taken them all to dinner, together. She wanted to believe that things were different, that somehow things had changed on the whole April issue but there was something constantly gnawing at her. April's a great girl, she can see that, she can see past April's smarts and chattering to see her similarities to her father, their love for family, their way of pleasing people, their understanding that when times get rough that you just pull together with those close to you and seek shelter from the storm. The thing is, she wanted to know that a long time ago, back when they were really engaged. Something about the fact that now that they're married Luke feels all right with bringing her around doesn't seem right. Then again, if he's forgiven her for all that she did, she should just allow the past to become what it is, the past, and somehow try to adjust to the fact that April's going to be in her life, in their life, and Luke wants her there.
"Okay," she says softly, the sense of awe still clear through and through. He leans down and kisses her softly on the lips, her heart skipping a beat as if it wasn't something she had ever been accustomed to. Her eyes follow him as he carries Gabriel up the stairs as if he might disappear and never come back if she didn't watch him. Her heart is so full at this moment that breathing has become voluntary. As she turns back to face her daughter, she can't contain the smile on her face, it's like she just bit into an orange and the peel is forcing her lips into an upwards curve, but she knows it's not an orange peel, it's Luke, he's the reason, he'll always be the reason.
Rory can't help but see this as well. "Mom, you look happy. Radiant." And she does, it's like the sun is shining right through her, like there could be a giant blackout and a huge black storm cloud over head but the room and the house could still be lit up by Lorelai's brilliant smile and the glow that surrounds her. Whatever Rory is feeling about the whole situation doesn't matter, because this is right, just the sparkle in her mother's eyes proves it, that Lorelai is happy, happier than Rory can ever remember. It's more than that. Her look shows something more than just happiness. My point is that it's scary to be in love, that much I know, but it's also wonderful and special and if you can't say it or fully express it then you're never gonna be able to experience it. I'm not saying you say "I love you" at the drop of a hat. It has to be right and real and it has to take a lot of thought. But someday with someone it will be right. Her mother's words from 6 years ago ring in her mind and she realizes what she's seeing in Lorelai's eyes. "You really love him, don't you?" Lorelai purses her lips, blushing for a moment, looking away as she sees Luke in her mind again, the way he looked at her this morning, like she was all that mattered in the world.
As she looks back over at Rory, a soft smile spreads across her face. "I fall in love with Luke more every time I see him so…" Lorelai chuckles softly to herself, knowing that was the complete and honest truth, but it was just surprising to actually hear the words out of her mouth. Saying the words, actually voicing them only made them more real, like when she told Anna that what she and Luke had was real, what she and Luke had was a long time coming. It was the truth, she had known it, she and Luke were always supposed to be together, they were fated, despite Luke's skepticism of the whole idea of things being meant to be.
She looks back at Rory, whose expression seems conflicted. "Oh Hun, you know you're my angel girl right?" Lorelai asks, holding out a hand to Rory, who kind of rolls her eyes, blushing, but then throws her arms around her mother. She feels a little embarrassed by the fact that she was a little jealous of the whole thing, but this was her house, Lorelai was her world. Yet, she feels a little guilty because when she came back from finding herself, she had hoped that her relationship with her mother would be exactly the same as it had been before, in the days when it was just them against the world. But that didn't happen. Because Lorelai had found Luke, well she had Luke before, but while Rory was gone Lorelai had centered her life around Luke, he had been her support, her legs to stand on when she felt she would fall, he had become the one she could depend on to always be there. Rory just couldn't fault him for that, she had left her mother with nothing, she had moved out without looking back, she didn't have a right to want her mother not to find someone to fill what Rory had left behind. "Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine," Lorelai sings softly in Rory's ear.
Rory giggles and steps back. "Oh Mom, I love ya, but you don't belong in a Disney movie."
"Hey I was going for Beaches!" Lorelai exclaims as the doorbell rings. Rory watches as Lorelai's face pales slightly, her gaze flipping to stare in the direction of the front door. Before she can consider what to say or do, Luke lumbers down the stares carrying a much cleaner Gabriel in his arms. He pauses for a second, glancing from his wife to his step-daughter and then meanders over to the door to let April in.
The morning continues on just as Luke had imagined it would. He makes French toast, while the ladies play with Gabriel, and they all sit down at the kitchen table to eat together. April chats about school, which interests Rory, and as they chat Lorelai eats silently, just watching them and Luke watches her. At times there is a hint of a smile on her face, like she is caught between actually loving that their daughters get along so well and sad that this is how it could have been so long ago. But at points there is a touch of worry in her eyes, when there is an awkward silence, when April babbles on in a language that is too fast and too big of a vocabulary for both him and Lorelai, and when things seem to be just a little too perfect. At those times, he quietly takes her hand and holds it warmly in his, until he sees her breathing return to normal and the sparkle return to her eyes. Maybe it is a little too perfect, maybe it seems unreal, but what they have in front of them could end up being what they had been working towards their whole lives. A family. And each other. And that little boy that now rests on his wife's chest as she sleeps on the couch in the living room, both with soft steady breathing, completely at peace with the world.