A/N: Hey, all your comments made me happy today. I'm thinking of shifting college courses and things in school are… well, let's just say "not good". Not good at all. I'm down in the dumps right now. Waaaaah!

So if this chapter has angst and emotions to the nth power, it's my frustrations and depression talking. Hahahahah! But I hope you like this part.

Enjoy!

I've loved you then and I love you still

It's my birthday. Everybody – even three of the seven perps I interrogated – greeted me. Lindsey even gave me a paperweight she brought back from Montana. Peyton prepared us a special dinner tonight. She insisted that we eat at her place; she spent the whole day preparing.

I should be very happy. But I'm not. I don't want to think that she forgot but the day is ending and she hasn't even called to greet me. "Where are you, Stella?" I mumbled under my breath.

"You're saying something?" Peyton asked, placing her fork down. "Do you like it?"

I nodded and smiled. I could feel my cell phone heavy in my pants pocket. Every time it vibrates, I willed it to be Stella and not some random high-ranking officer wishing me many happy returns. Then I realized I haven't checked my voice mail.

"I'm glad you do," she smiled, filling her wine glass. "I wasn't sure what you would like for tonight. So I took a chance. It's not me to…uh, ask around." She said that last line with what sounded to me as apprehension. I'm an investigator and whether I like it or not, I tend to notice these things.

"Thank you," I said, tapping my cell phone in my pocket. "I love everything."

"Including me, Mac?" she said in a sweet voice. Peyton leaned over and kissed me. "Do you?"

I didn't know what to say. Why was she asking me these kinds of questions? I could just smile and continue eating. We finished our dinner and ended up as a heap on the couch. With 'Black Hawk Down' muted on the TV forgotten, Peyton started to unbutton my shirt. "Ready for your just desserts, honey?" she whispered in my ear.

I wasn't entirely sure. My body's telling my one thing but my mind's adrift. Why hasn't Stella called yet? It started raining about five minute ago. Peyton was on my lap; she has my shirt open all the way. But my mind is still on Stella for some reason. She never forgot my birthday ever. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to call her.

"I'm sorry, Peyton," I said, pushing her off my lap and dressing myself. "I… I need to do something," I excused myself, fishing my cell phone from my pocket and dialing my voicemail retrieval number. From my peripheral vision, I saw that she sighed and glared at me. I don't blame her. But I really need to just hear her voice.

After several beeps and greetings from my other friends (I had 14 messages), I finally heard it, Early to rise, early to work again. It's my day-off… so you know what that means, right? See you some time after dinner; and I won't bring my spare key. Bye.

My eyes flew to the wall clock. 10:30 p.m. I began cursing myself. Knowing Stella, she would've waited until she's certain that I'm not coming. And I'm supposed to spend the night here at Peyton's. She was still glaring at me with her arms crossed. She was pretty mad at me, for sure.

"I should go," I said sternly, picking up my overnight bag from beside the couch and turning towards the door. "I'm sorry."

"It's Stella, right?" she said, audible enough for me to hear. I faced her while she continued, "I'm not stupid, Mac. I could see how you look at her, how you listen to her, how you touch her… I know how you react when she needs you. You try to deny it, I know, but you don't have to." She stood up and walked towards me. "You never act that way with anyone else. Not to your friends or your co-workers. And certainly not to me."

"Peyton," I would like to reason with her. Yet I can't deny the fact that there is some truth to what she just said.

"You love her, do you?" she said out of the blue to shut me up. "You just don't know it. Or maybe… you don't want to admit it." I kept silent and broke eye contact with her. "That's right. You're scared of what it'll do to your friendship. Yet ever since, you saw her as more than that." Peyton went on, "That's why you can't – or refuse – to put your heart in to any relationship. Because you reserve part of yourself to Stella. Am I right or am I right?"

She's crying now. But she wouldn't let up. "I'd be lying if I tell you now that I'm not hurt. My boyfriend… you, Mac, you are here with me but your thoughts are with somebody else – who, must I remind you – has not even remembered it's your birthday today. But don't worry, she told me to prepare all these for you and…" she stopped abruptly.

My head snapped up. "What did you say?" I said in my 'boss' voice. What did she mean by that? I dropped my bag and grabbed her wrists. "What did you just say?"

"Mac, I…" but no. It's my time to talk.

"Repeat. What. You. Just. Said."

ChocoBetty – I have actually thought of that direction. But I figured Peyton would've wanted Mac to spend his birthday with her at her place. Stella's background on this story is based on real experiences. I volunteered for an orphanage once. We talked to the kids and one of the topics was 'wanting to be adopted or not'. The younger kids all want to have parents but the older and 'tougher' ones didn't want to because the idea of having parents aka 'change' – scares them.

Crazy Mokis – thank you! I haven't seen that episode yet but I'm sad that the writers overlook the importance of a Smacked scene in Mac's birthday episode.