Author's Note: As this is the last chapter of this fic, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has read and reviewed, those who have supported me throughout the writing and subsequent posting process. I'd like to thank everyone who wrote saying how much they had recieved from this work, that their love for these characters and their relationship was renewed through this fic. I'd like to thank all of those who told their friends about this fic. After all I put into it, it's definitely amazing to have recieved such a wonderful response for my hard work.
Additionally, I want to send out another huge token of gratitude to my wonderful beta, Erica Bing. Your support and adivse and major editing at times was very much appreiciated.
Finally, I just want to say for all who are watching this show and saddened by what is currently occuring, I think this fic shows what a wonderful love that these two characters have for each other, even if it is hidden underneath at times. I do believe that eventually it will reemerge, that they will rediscover their love for one another, because I do believe that love does conquer all in the end and that Luke and Lorelai have a once in a lifetime love. I hope you will continue to have faith in these characters as I do, to eventually find that what they've been searching for is right there, if they would just open their eyes and their hearts and realize it.
Perfect. He is perfect. Rory, she remembers, was perfect as well, but he is something beyond perfect. She pauses for a moment, frowning as she tries to think of the right word. She considers making up a word, a word that would be all his, something to mean perfect and amazing and wonderful, but she knows it will just confuse her husband. Maybe it would be worth it though, just for the little boy in her arms.
"Luke, he's beautiful," Lorelai says softly having to force herself to take her eyes off of the baby and look up at her husband. She leans back against him as he wraps an arm around her, settling it on her hip. He cups his other hand on top of the boy's head.
She watches as he struggles to speak. Though many would call him a man of few words, she's still surprised to see him so choked up at this moment that he can't manage a sound. A year and a half after that day of finding him in his old apartment, a phone clutched in one hand and a mostly empty beer in the other, she still can feel him as he wrapped his arms around her that day, clinging to her, all alone in his mind. But then he asked her to stay and somehow, someway, they got from that moment to this moment, together. As it should be. "Luke, I want you to meet your son, Matthew Elliot Danes," Lorelai says tracing a finger over her son's small hand.
"Our son," Luke corrects her, his thumb running lightly over the boy's forehead. She grins, loving the sound of that. It's amazing to her, that after all they went through, all she went through, all he went through, that they managed to follow the bread crumbs and find their way to this moment in time.
Two years ago she had walked away, from him, from them, from all of it. She had walked away thinking that as much as she wanted it: marriage, children, that, as that evil psychologist said, it might not be meant to be. She knows now that she must have been completely out of her mind to even consider it, after all the horoscope had kept her heart in his for eight years before they finally took a step towards a more than friendly relationship. Crazy! Blasphemous! To think that she and Luke weren't written in the stars? Sure, it was all right for Luke to think that, Mr. Anti-Fate, but for her? She remembers the look on Luke's face the first time she tossed some salt over her shoulder after knocking a salt shaker off the table with her big purse, still just as amusing now as it was then. But this is all just to say that, for whatever reason, she had lost trust in fate, just as she had lost faith in Luke, and had ended up at her lowest point in her life, alone, fractured, lost, so hollow inside that it seemed like her skin was just a covering for a deep black hole. The worst part about the whole thing was that she had lost Luke, who had been much more than just her fiancé or just her lover or boyfriend, he had been her best friend, her true companion, and without him, she had to keep everything inside, she lost the bight light in her day. Life became just a series of minutes attached together, no thinking, no processing, no dreaming about the future, just putting one foot in front of the other to continue on through the suffering she had brought upon herself. Sometimes she had been forced just to pause and concentrate on breathing as even that became a chore for her. When she was with him, just the sight of him had taken her breath away, and when he left, he had taken that breath with him.
Unfortunately it took one of the worst days of Luke's life to bring them back to the same place at the same time, it took the slight effort by Luke, of letting go just a bit of his hurt and anger, to allow her to comfort him, to be his support, the lantern hanging in the lighthouse to guide him home. Slowly, bit by bit, the wall they had put up between them was taken down, bit by bit, brick by brick, no David Hasselhoff singing on the wall was necessary. It just took the strength of their love shining through, their love for each other and for Gabriel, something to share, something to make them really take a look at their lives and see that what was missing after all, was each other. A little forgiveness. A little communication, as Elvis would say. Followed by a renewed trust that this was it, this was their final chance, and neither wanted to risk ruining it.
All of that had bought them to this day, to this tender, almost unreal occasion, the birth of their son. Even now Lorelai can't help but think back to the day that their first son became a part of her family.
Spying Luke's car in the driveway as she grabbed the mail, she had smiled to herself, hoping that he was inside making dinner because walking all the way to the diner on that incredibly hot day in late July would only make her cranky and possibly likely to take it out on her poor husband. Flipping through the mail as she walked in her house, she paused on a rather large envelope, sealed tightly and bearing an official government stamp. For a moment, her heart did a backflip in her chest, wondering if they were coming after her for that parking ticket a few months ago at Yale that she had refused to pay out of sheer indignation. (She was only there a few minutes past eight in the morning! Did they really expect a sane person to get up at the hour and move her car?!)
"Hey Hun!" she called as she kicked the door closed, tossing all the mail on the table in the front hallway except the large official envelope.
Glancing up as she wandered into the kitchen, she saw her husband busy at the stove. He glanced over his shoulder, hearing her walk in the room, and gave her a wink. "Chili tonight?" he asked as she walked over to him, leaning for a kiss. She nodded.
"Mmmm, yeah if you put chicken in it, then it would be perfect," she responded, turning away to grab a letter opener to open the envelope. "I feel like chicken tonight," she sang as she walked over to the playpen Luke had set up in the kitchen, placing a kiss on Gabriel's head. She extracted the contents of the envelope and gasped. Startled, Luke almost dropped the spoon in his hand, but managed to cover the pot and set the spoon down before walking briskly to her side.
"He's ours. Officially, legally, and in all other ways, he's our son. We're parents. All we need is a white picket fence outside to get Nancy Reagan's approval," she said with delight, handing her husband the papers and lifting her new son out of the playpen and placing little kisses all over his face, making him squeal in laughter.
"Parents," Luke repeated, his throat suddenly dry. He tugged on his shirt, suddenly feeling extremely hot, but figuring it might be from all the cooking he's been doing. Lorelai looked over at him, concerned with his response, but hugging Gabriel close. Luke reached for the closest chair, yanking it out and sitting down with force, staring at the paper in his hand. "He's going to call us Mom and Dad."
Lorelai pulled out the chair next to him, sitting down and settling her son in her lap. "Luke," she said softly placing a hand on his knee. "That's why we adopted him. That's why we changed his last name from Matthews to Danes."
"But Liz…"
"Is his mother! She always will be but, Luke, she and TJ, they picked us. They wanted us to raise him. They trusted us to be good parents to Gabriel. We can't always stop and consider what Liz and TJ would do if they were here, because we just don't know. What we do know is that they picked us, which only says that they trusted us to make the decisions for them if something happened," Lorelai said, rubbing his knee gently. Luke glanced over at her sorrowfully, leaning over and giving her a peck on the lips. She smiled at him, the adoration shining in her eyes and she ran her fingers though Gabriel's soft, silky hair.
With a huff, he pushed himself up from the chair, reaching down and taking Gabriel off of her lap. "Hey there Buddy, I'm your dad. How you feel about that?" Luke asked tugging on his son's shirt. Gabriel babbled nonsensically in response, grabbing onto Luke's fingers. Luke smiled, placing a kiss on Gabriel's head. "Oh Buddy, I love ya." He then offered a hand to Lorelai, helping her back up.
"Oh! I have an idea!" she skipped off into the living room with Luke following closely behind. After a few seconds, the first bars of Eternal Flame began to play. "Dance with me," she requested, holding out her hand. Luke glanced around, confused. "Come on, if Hugh and Julianne can do it, then we can. Dance with me, Luke," she begged, getting whiny, and he knew that he'd better give in at this point.
"All right then," he agreed, adjusting Gabriel on his hip and holding out his hand to his wife. She clapped her hands gleefully and placed her hand his, but sliding it quickly around his shoulder as his traveled down to 'his spot' on her lower back, pulling her closer. They danced closely, swaying slowly to the music, each with a hand on their son, each with an arm around the other, staring into each other's eyes, wanting this moment to last forever. This was it, this was their moment, their whole package, finally, and somewhere they felt that that someone was looking down and smiling, pleased in her part in bringing them together as they should have always been.
Only a month after that night, the small family was gathered in the center of town surrounded by the rest of the family as well as half the town. Luke convinced Jackson to loan him his truck in exchange for Luke buying only Jackson's vegetables for the next month so that he could get the chupah from their yard to the center of town. Jackson had originally bartered for a year, but Luke was able to wear him down, years of dealing with Lorelai trying to get him to do things he didn't want to do were finally paying off. So there he stood, in exactly the same suit and red tie as he had 4 years ago when they shared their first dance of many at his sister's wedding, holding the hands of his wife, who was wearing an off-white fall sundress. Their daughters stood on either side of them, both of them with tears in her eyes as if she had not been to the original wedding. In the closest seats sat Lorelai's parents, Emily with Gabriel in her lap, as the boy had quickly bonded with his grandmother over the past couple months.
"Luke, my heart, I think I really didn't think about what I would say at this moment if we ever got here because I didn't want to jinx it, but let me say this, and it may come out incredibly jumbled because my mind is not completely clear right now. You are my one, my only, the only person I have ever and will ever commit to completely. I promise my heart to you with full faith and true devotion. I am all in, all yours, whatever life throws at us, we'll do it together, because that's the only way I know how anymore," Lorelai vowed, her gaze intense and Luke can hear her voice is filled with tears. He was surprised at how choked up he was at this moment and took a moment to swallow, not wanting Babette to shout out of the crowd that he was a big baby.
Taking a deep breath, he squeezed her hands before going on. "That was surprisingly coherent," he teased softly and she smiled. "The thing is, I love you for your lucid moments just as much as I love your irrational ones. It may have taken us 4 years, actually 12 years to get here, but maybe that's what we needed to know that this is it, to know we're not making a mistake, to know that when we commit to be all in forever, we mean it. Lorelai, you are my light in all the shadows, leading me through, getting me through day after day. Now and forever, permanently, my hand in yours and yours in mine, we'll make it through life together," Luke promised, watching as a few tears strayed down Lorelai's face. He lifted one of her hands to his mouth and kissed it softly.
"I now, again, pronounce you husband and wife," Reverand Skinner said.
"Wait!" came a voice from the back and Luke and Lorelai glanced up, startled to see the Rabbi Barans running towards them with a blue bag in his hand. Reaching the couple, he handed Luke the bag. "You have to break the glass!"
Luke chortled with laughter, glancing at his wife, who nodded agreeably. "Well, we're using a chupah," she figured. "But rabbi, what does it mean?" As Luke placed the bag on the ground, Rabbi Barans folded his arms across his chest.
"Well it can mean a variety of things, many rabbis claim it has something to with the destruction of the Temple, but really I think it just reminds you to remember the sadness even at the height of this joyous occasion," Rabbi Barans replied. Luke and Lorelai shared a look both knowing that this is the truth, that they must keep Luke's parents and Liz and all the poignant moments that brought them to share this occasion in mind, even as celebrating. "You should remember the fragility of the relationship, how easily it can be fractured in so many pieces that it would take all eternity to put it back together," Rabbi Barans added, at which point Lorelai squeezed Luke's hand.
Luke stared down at the glass, in his mind seeing the image of a million pieces of the shiny glittering material. His mind flashed to Lorelai's face that night just before she walked away, remembering how her desperation had reflected the tears in her eyes into a million pixels in the moment that their relationship had cracked and splintered, dissolving into the sand that they had to tread over to return back to each other.
"Luke," Rabbi Barans said softly, getting the groom's attention. "I'd also like to add that this is the groom's last chance to put his foot down." Luke stared at him for a moment and then looked over at Lorelai, who was clearly biting her lower lip to keep from laughing. With a wink at her, Luke nodded and lifted his foot, bringing it down on the glass with all his might, the sound of the shattering glass echoing in his ears, and he hoped that sound would always be there every moment of the rest of his life, as a reminder of what he might have lost.
Glancing from the Rabbi to the Reverend, Luke waited for what comes next. "Can I kiss her now?" Luke asked impatiently causing the Reverend to laugh. Without waiting for a reply, Luke cupped his wife's face in his hands, staring into her eyes, filled with deep and heartfelt love, before lowering his lips to hers, kissing her softly, as if it really was their first kiss as husband and wife. "I love you," he murmured wrapping his arms around her and she around him, both losing themselves in the moment, forgetting their aversion for public displays of affection. In fact, he no longer cared, she was his wife, after all this time she was finally his wife, and he was perfectly happy to let everyone around him know it.
A few months later, just over a week after her son's first birthday, Lorelai laid on the queen-sized bed in her new home that she and Luke had allowed her parents to purchase for them on the condition that they only use their extra key when baby sitting for their young grandson. Though at first it had surprised Lorelai to find her parents so amenable, actually she was quite wary of the agreement at first, but Emily had seemed to have an extreme desire to be part of her grandson's life, not to replace his parents, but as another loving family member. As Lorelai thought back, she wondered if Rory's life might have been different if she and Emily had been able to come to terms with this type of affiliation back then. Maybe it was only necessary to have traveled the long arduous path of rebellion and frustration, filled with times of emotional blackmail and sheer hostility, occasions when each had reached her boiling point and released a string of horrid attacks on the other's character. After getting past all of that, after both maturing in her relationship with the other, realizing that more that anything they both did indeed want the other in her life, if only as an additional support in emotional times, seeing as they were both so much alike, now they could build on that. Only now could they form a kinship so that Gabriel could grow up with the love of his parents and his mother's parents.
Her head rested on her husband's shoulder as he laid next to her, one hand around her, one hand on the back of his son, who was sleeping soundly on his front. Sometimes it was nice, these quiet moments they shared together, just after dinner, before Lorelai would hurry him downstairs to try to beat Alex Trebek at his own game. But this night was different. This night there would be no Jeopardy, no shouting at the idiot contestants and no claims that Lorelai Gilmore could down them all, not Lorelai Danes of course, but Lorelai "Rory" Gilmore. Luke's thumb traced circles on Lorelai's hip methodically, his mind somewhere else. Her hand rubbed similar patterns on Gabriel's back, her eyes open and searching, wherever her mind was, it was possibly as far away as her husband's.
Suddenly the alarm on Luke's watch sounded. He silently reached his hand over and switched it off glancing over at Lorelai. "Which of us wants to be Alice?" she asked, uncertainty showing clearly through her voice. He waved his hand at boy sleeping on his chest and she nodded, not seeming pleased with her job. Before getting up, she leaned towards him and gives him a kiss on the lips. "We're trying again. If at first you don't friacassee, fry fry a hen," she said softly and then grinned.
"I forgot that's how the saying went," he responded lightly leaning closer and kissing her again. "Go." She nodded and crawled off the bed. Slipping on her slippers, she trotted over to the bathroom. Luke took over rubbing his son's back but his mind wasn't concentrating on Gabriel, he was just hoping and wishing that she would walk in with the gorgeous delighted smile on her face. "Liz, I won't love Gabriel any less," he promised softly, staring up at the ceiling.
Her face expressionless, Lorelai walked back over to the bed and his heart stopped. Slowly she held out her hand that contained about a half dozen white sticks. She watched his face cloud with frustration, not wanting to do his usual slow processing this time. Before he could growl her name, she nodded and looked down at her hands.
"Pregnant. Plus sign. Two lines. Pink. Pregnant. Positive," she read off, dropping each on the foot of the bed when she was done with it. Then she looked up at him, her face glowing, brimming with ecstasy, not just the radiance of a pregnant woman but the blissful look of a woman who might finally have it all. Letting out a girlish squeal and shrugging her shoulders up, she smiled at him again. "We're having a baby," she crooned crawling back up the bed to lie next to her husband again. Rubbing a hand over her son's back, she glanced down at him. "You're going to be a brother, Gabriel." Then she watched him for a moment. "I think he's happy," she decided, chewing on her lower lip to keep her grin from taking over her face.
"I think he's asleep," Luke responded logically, teasing his wife. She rolled her eyes.
"Just shut up and kiss me," she demanded kneeling next to him on the bed and cupping his face in her hands as she kissed him.
Just a few short months later it was December 12th again and the Danes' found themselves back in New York. It had been a year since that cold day when Lorelai had found him in his apartment, lost, falling into a deep black hole and instead of walking away, as part of her had considered, she had reached out a hand to him, held him as he cried, stayed by his side throughout, and promised that everything would be all right. True to her word, everything had turned out all right, but that was only because he had asked her to stay and she had acquiesced, because, after all, she loved him.
On this cold winter's day, she buttoned up her coat, standing silently by his side, as she had just two weeks before on the anniversary of his father's death. This day, just as on November 30th, it was more important for her to be the cane that helps him stand, the pillar that supported him, the light in the tower guiding him back to reality. "Gabriel!" they heard to their right and even Luke glanced over to see Dawn Devers rushing towards them. She knelt down next to Gabriel on the ground and glanced up at the Danes', as if asking permission, but Luke just looked back at the gravestone in front of him and said nothing, his face not as dark as it was a year ago, but still, not quite healthy and radiant. So Lorelai nodded her consent to Dawn, wrapping a hand around Luke's elbow. "Gabriel do you remember me?" Dawn asked the boy who stared up at her, his little finger tapping his lips as if he was pondering this. Lorelai almost laughed at this but managed to swallow her amusement for Luke's sake. "I'm Dawn, I'm your cousin, Dawn."
"Don," Gabriel said, working the name through his little lips. Proudly, Lorelai gazed at her son, as any mother would watch her child. Dawn giggled picking him up into her arms. She motioned to Lorelai that she'd be right back and Lorelai nodded congenially. No matter what the woman ever thought of her, Lorelai knew that she always got Dawn, she really saw that all Dawn wanted was the best for her son, all she wanted was for Gabriel to grow up with his father's family surrounding him. Looking down at the ground, she covered her own abdomen with her hand, knowing that she'll never stop wishing that her future child would be able to know its father's family in more than just faded photographs and memories of decades before.
Beside her, Luke dropped to his knees, as he had in front of his parents' graves, covering his mouth with his first. She was no less worried at this point, no more either, except that he'd been opening up more lately. He allowed her to be by his side on his dark day, not only that but he searched her out to take him to the cemetery. He had worked with her to draft their first will though the thought had scared her, but she knew deep down he was afraid, afraid of losing her, yes, but more than that, afraid that he would leave his children as his father once left him. This all was obvious to her without him even having to voice it. He had forced her to choose someone to care for their child, if something were to happen, with the reminder of what would have happened if Liz and TJ hadn't done so, to convince her that he was right. Of course he was right, not that she wanted to think about it any more.
Reaching up and grabbing her forearm, he pulled her down next to him. Without her, he knew, he would never have made it this far. When the phone call had come a year ago, he had practically died, driven into his own thoughts, where all he could see was those that had left him. His father. His mother. Liz. For those precious minutes, just after the call had ended, he wondered what was left. Was there any more meaning to his life? And then she had come, shown up without even a signal from him, not a flare, not a white flag, not even a candle in the window. Though just six months before she had lost him, finding him in that state she had forced her way back into his life, pushed him to do what he needed to do, soothed him when he just couldn't do any more. She had brought him back to life.
With this thought in his mind, he glanced over at Lorelai, to find her watching him, not with sympathy, but with affection, all that he had always needed. He tried to think of something to say right then to let her know it's all right, that he's all right, that she's the reason that the world seems a pretty decent place right then, even though he was where he was and it was the day that it was. Nothing came to mind. Instead he just reached out, placing the back of his hand over her slightly protruding belly, rubbing his index finger gently up and down. There. That seemed right. She acknowledged his gesture with a soft, reassuring smile and he winked back at her.
"We'll love them both just as much, not in the same way, but just as much," she promised him, as if knowing what was tugging at his heart at that moment. And she did know. She always knew.
He lowered himself to sit on the ground, pulling her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her middle placing his hands back on her belly. She, in turn, covered his with her own leaning back against him and tipping her head up to gives him a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey guys, we're back," Dawn greeted them, Gabriel's hands wrapped tightly around hers to steady himself as he toddled back towards Luke and Lorelai. "Gabriel, who's that?"
"Mommy and Daddy!" Gabriel shrieked, forgetting that Dawn was the only thing holding him up as he reached out towards his parents and fell to the ground. Before he could cry, although Lorelai would have been surprised if he had as Gabriel wasn't much of a crier, Dawn scooped him up and set him down in Lorelai's lap. Lorelai wrapped her arms around her son, kissing the top of his head, recognizing the fact that it was only a year ago when she had first learned the existence of this child, but she had loved him immediately. There was something about Gabriel, something so familiar, something so like Luke, that he was able to just look into her eyes, just reach a hand up towards her, that made her instantly love him, made her adore this little boy that once he was in her arms, she never wanted to let him go.
Dawn stood and backed away slightly, her eyes traveling over to the graves. With an understanding that Luke wasn't the only one missing one of those two people, Lorelai's heart went out to the poor woman, who had been like a sister to TJ. "You should stop by tonight, we're taking Gabriel to have dinner with his grandparents," Lorelai suggested and her heart melted as Dawn's face lit up. Dawn, however, tried to cover slightly her delight at Lorelai's invitation and just nodded giving Lorelai an appreciative smile. She waved to Gabriel and walked away.
As Dawn walked away, Lorelai said a silent thank you to Liz and TJ for blessing her with Gabriel and, in turn, bringing Luke back to her. So Gabriel curled up close to Lorelai, playing with her long, thin fingers, as she leaned back against Luke, who rested his head against hers. "Thank you, Liz," he said softly, kissing the side of his wife's head.
After working his mind through the memories of the past year, his mind settled on last night. He had walked into his bedroom to find his son curled up next to his wife as she read to him. Gabriel's eyes were mostly closed but he would mutter soft, sleepy questions every once in awhile. Standing in the doorway of his bedroom, Luke had just watched how tender Lorelai was with their son, what a loving mother she was to stay up and read to her boy, even though not more an hour or so ago she had been complaining that she might die from severe exhaustion. But with her arm around Gabriel, his head on her shoulders as she read to him from I'm A Big Brother, Gabriel's new favorite book. "Is that you?" Lorelai asked softly, pointing to an image in the book, and glancing over at the boy lying next to her. Gabriel nodded drowsily, fighting to keep his eyelids open. She smiled to herself setting the book down next to her and noticed her husband standing in the doorway. "Honey, are you ready for Daddy to take you to bed?" she asked, leaning over and whispering in Gabriel's ear, giving Luke a wink.
"But da book, Mommy," Gabriel whined with a lethargic tone to his voice. Lorelai chuckled rubbing his arm, motioning with her head for Luke to walk over, which he did.
"The book will still be here tomorrow, I'm sure we can manage to read it a few more times then. Come on Babes, time for bed. Daddy's tired too," Lorelai told her son, who slowly pushed himself up and threw his arms around Lorelai's neck and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She wrapped her arms around her young son as well, knowing that she treasures every moment with him to its fullest. "I love you Babes, to the moon and back."
She reached back and unwrapped Gabriel's arms from around her. "Night, night, broder," he said softly, leaning over and placing a few little kisses on Lorelai's large belly. Lorelai and Luke shared a look, both having worried at one moment or the other about the differences in the love they would have for their sons, but had agreed on the fact that both the Danes boys would live lives filled with the love of family, the kindness of friends and the appreciation for getting all they can out of life, even if it meant taking risks.
Holding out his arms towards Luke, Gabriel signaled that he was ready for bed. With a groan, Luke lifted his son over his wife and up into his arms. "Hey Buddy, time for bed," Luke told his son, who rubbed his eyes, clearly tired. "I'll be back," Luke said to Lorelai as he carried the boy out of the room.
She watched her husband walk away until he was clearly out of view. Though she was quite tired as well, for some reason she knew she wasn't going to fall asleep very quickly if she went to bed now. Her due date was only two days away and though the nursery was finally complete, with a little help from her mother's designer, she still had a nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right.
Not that she was worried about the pregnancy, that wasn't it. The doctors had assured her time and again that everything was fine, that even though she had just turned forty, there was nothing to worry about, and she did believe them. The morning sickness had come and gone, she had gained the exact amount of weight that was necessary for a full-term pregnancy, for some reason she had given in and eaten right, knowing full well that at her age it was important to listen to the doctors, she had done every right, everything that the doctor had told her, and it seemed that everything was perfect. But something was missing. Something was still wrong.
Frowning in her frustration with herself for being unable to come up with the answer, she reached over to her nightstand and picked up the photo album laying there. Flipping it open, she turned the pages slowly, staring for a moment at each picture. The one of their first kiss after the second time they were pronounced man and wife. The one of her parents making their way around the dance floor as if they were Fred and Ginger. The one of her smashing cake in Luke's face, because she had eaten her piece agreeably, but he had closed his mouth and refused. The one of April dancing with a boy on the dance floor while Luke watched off to the side, never taking his eyes off of him. The one of Luke dancing with Rory, looking much less awkward than they must have felt after all those years. The one of her and Luke and Gabriel dancing in the corner of the dance floor, oblivious to everyone else in the room. As she got to the end of the book, she landed on an extra picture, one not fastened securely in the album as their photographer had done to all the others, this was just slipped in, as if it was a secret picture all her own.
Luke walked back in the bedroom to find her staring at the picture, tears welling up in her eyes. These weren't the tears he was used to, ones that came on randomly and then she would get angry with herself for crying as her hormones raged wildly inside of her, followed by deep chortles of laughing, after which she'd be so exhausted of dealing with her pregnant self that she'd crawl under the covers and go to sleep. It was all right, he had decided. If that was what he had to deal with in order to be the perfect husband, then he was fine with it, all it meant was extra time laying next to her and running his fingers through her hair, extra moments of holding her against him as she sobbed with little reason in mind, extra minutes of laughter that sounded like the sweetest melody he had ever heard. But this time, he knew that wasn't it, her face wasn't masked with the confusion she usually expressed when the tears came unexpectedly.
Walking over to his side of the bed, he sat down, leaning back against the headboard and wrapping his arms loosely around her. That was the only thing the pregnancy made him miss: being able to wrap himself completely around his wife. Contented, she set the book to her side, still with the one picture in her hand, and snuggled up to him, resting her head back against him. "We are pretty," she said softly, staring at the picture in her hand. It was one he had never noticed before. In fact, it wasn't even from that wedding, it was from their first wedding and in it her hands were in his as she stared up at him and he back at her. What he saw surprised him, they were in love even back then, the love they shared now wasn't any more than at that time. The difference, he decided, was that now they were more sure of it, now they could have faith in it, now they knew that what they had was a gift, a precious gift, the ability to love and be loved to such an extent that there were hardly words to describe it, but it was a pure and true emotion and it was an amazing, once in a lifetime endowment from the heavens that both knew could easily slip away if they didn't hold tight to it. If this flame of love was to go out in their hearts, they now knew that their hearts would cease to beat, because their lives had become one life and to lose each other would truly be the end.
Kissing the side of Lorelai's head, Luke reached over and ran his hand over her belly, somehow feeling their son deep within. "I hope you know I'd do anything for you, for both of you, for all three of you," he whispered in her ear, waiting for her to grin and wipe her eyes as he knew she would, but she didn't.
Scooting her body over so she slightly faced him, she stared at him, a serious expression on her face and his heart dropped as he wondered if he had done something wrong. "Luke," she said hoarsely, picking up his hand off her belly, gently playing with his fingers as she considered her words. She took a deep breath and dropped his hand, reaching up instead to cup the side of his face with her hand. "Don't you know you're my rock? I just wish I could do the same for you, I just wish that I could be there for you just as you've always been there for me."
"Lorelai," he admonished her, completely floored by her sincere statement. He grabbed her hand in his, holding it tightly as he stared into her eyes. "Don't you know that you're the only reason I got through Liz's death? You gave up everything for me. Even when I treated you horribly, you completely devoted yourself to me. Don't think I didn't notice it. Not for a moment." She tried to breathe but her lungs seemed completely devoid of air in that moment. He knew. He had been lost and destroyed but he had appreciated her attempts to take care of him, not just to prove herself worthy or to win him back, but only because it was everything he deserved, because she couldn't bear to watch him hurt or even to let him go on in pain even if he tried to hide it deep inside.
Running his hand up her arm, he gingerly ran his fingers over the pale, smooth skin of her shoulder. "I love you Lorelai," he said quietly, as if it were just the sound of the breeze coming in the window. He motioned with his head, that little movement that meant 'com'ere' in Luke language and she smiled softly, cuddling closer to him, pressing her lips against his, letting this moment be what it was. And it was, it was perfect.
And now, just a bit less than twenty-four hours later, he sits on the bed, with his wife leaning back against him, his infant son in her arms. Placing small kisses on her shoulder, he looks over at his son. "Matthew," he says, as if saying his son's name completes the deal. She glances over her shoulder to catch his elated smile.
"So, Liz would be happy?" she asks with hope in her voice. He nods. "I think so too, because we could be married to each other for most of our lives," she explains, but not really. His face scrunches up in confusion as the door opens to the room.
In walk Rory and April, who has Gabriel in her arms. "Mommy!" Gabriel squeals excitedly the moment they walk inside and squirms in his sister's arms, forcing her to let him down on the bed. He scrambles quickly up to Lorelai and Luke, squishing himself in so that he's also leaning back against Luke and curled up against Lorelai at the same time. Glancing over his shoulder and smiling up at Luke, he waves his little fingers up at his dad. "Hi Daddy," he says innocently.
Luke lifts his hand, ruffling the boy's hair. "Heya Buddy," he answers and winks at Rory and April, who settle at the foot of the bed.
"Guys, I want you to meet your brother, Matthew. Matthew Elliot Danes," Lorelai says a wondrous tone to her voice, as she stares down at the infant in her arms. Rory moves to hug her mom, so Lorelai carefully hands Matthew over to Luke, forcing Gabriel to move into her lap. Both the girls exclaim how cute and adorable their brother is, but Gabriel just stares at him, wide-eyed. "Gabriel, don't you want to say hi to your brother?" Lorelai asks, a little worried. She had hoped that things would be settled in this aspect before Matthew was born.
Gabriel looked up at his mother for a moment, as if checking to make sure that he's still in her heart and her eyes shine back at him as she rubs his arm gently. Leaning over towards Matthew, Gabriel places a small kiss on his brother's forehead. "Hi Matty," Gabriel says making everyone else laugh and then he giggles too, not really understanding why.
With his younger son in his arms, Luke slowly glances around the room from his step-daughter to his actual daughter to his son and up to his wife, who is looking at him with a gaze that's so tender, so adoring, that he feels his heart fill and his chest expand to include it. She leans over and kisses him and then pulls Gabriel against her as she turns to chat with the girls.
As the rest of the family talks and gabs, Luke stares down at the little boy in his arms, his son, his and Lorelai's, and he realizes now, more than ever before, this is what he could have lost. This child, this beautiful, angelic child, might never have come to be if he hadn't figured out how to let her in. He had always been a family man, his love for his parents and his sister lasting far beyond their deaths, but until he met Lorelai, he had never realized that his family would ever include more than those three. And now, she is it, she and the kids, they are everything to him, they are his whole world and he's finally settled. He's got his sons and his daughters, but most of all, he has Lorelai, the one person he knows he couldn't live without. He had tried, twice actually, but the second time he tried, he truly thought he would never get her back. It wasn't about that, it wasn't about getting her back, it was about allowing her back into his life, it was about forgiving and going on because love conquers all, because his life was miserable without her, because his life really wasn't a life without her in it, supporting him, loving him, making him smile, just getting him through each day one minute at a time. And if someone were to ask why he forgave, why he learned to trust her again, why he finally realized that she was worth it all, he could say it was because of a little angel named Gabriel.