Chapter 13
Dan Scott looked at both his sons. He was shocked that they even came over. It was shocking because how he treated his boys, god he wouldn't be surprised if they hated him.
"Can we come in?" asked Nathan looking at Dan.
Dan nodded his head opening the door wider.
"Yeah sorry come in", said Dan.
Both boys walked into the expensive looking hotel room and took a seat. Dan closed the door and sighed. This was going to be a long conversation.
"I guess we should talk, do you want anything to drink?" asked Dan looking at Nathan and Lucas.
Lucas was fidgeting in his seat looking ready to bolt.
"Look we came here, shit look Dan I don't really know why we are here, but I guess we wanted you to be something we haven't been for us, a father", said Nathan.
Lucas looked away from Dan and stood up.
"I don't think I can do this, I thought I was ready Nate, but I can't", said Lucas looking at his brother.
He looked so upset that it made Dan flinch back.
"Please Lucas don't leave, please", said Dan.
Begging was not something he ever did but he needed Lucas to stay, he needed Lucas to stay. He had done so many horrible things in his life but he knew the one thing that he regrets the most was leaving Lucas for abandoning him. How could he have done that? This was his son. But he was also glad that he didn't. He probably would have corrupted him like he did Nathan. God look what he did to Nathan. He threaten Nathan's wife, he rode him hard in basketball, he never uttered that words that Nathan wanted to hear. I love you.
"Please Lucas don't leave", said Dan taking in a deep breath.
The pain was getting to Dan. It sometimes hurt to breath. Lucas had his back turned to Dan. Lucas didn't want to be this weak and venerable in front of the man that made his life, his brother's life, shit his whole family's life a living hell.
"Why?", asked Lucas softly.
He wasn't asking Dan why he was asking him to stay, no he was asking why did Dan do those things to him. Why did Dan not love him enough? Why wasn't he enough?
"I, god I was lost, scared little boy, shit I got two girls pregnant within months of each other. I didn't want to choose but I did. Lucas I loved your mother, but I loved basketball too. I know I made a mistake but god I just didn't know what to do. I loved Deb and it just seemed like a better idea to be with Deb since she wanted to be with him. Your mother hated me then Lucas. She couldn't stand the sight of me", said Dan.
"Don't, don't use my mother as an excuse. You could have tried to be there for me, you could have been a father. God what is wrong with you, you treated me like I was the mistake on your bed sheets. You made my brother hate me. I lost my brother for almost 16 years because of you. Why did you hate me, why did you hate me", yelled Lucas spinning around to look at Dan.
Lucas had tears flowing down his face. His eyes were blurry due to the tears. He looked so broken and angry. Dan flinched once more.
Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat. He watched his father and brother. He knew that Lucas felt most of Dan's wrath shit he did too, but he never knew that it went that far. Nathan rubbed his eyes and sighed.
"Sit down please", whispered Nathan.
Lucas and Dan's heads snapped up at that.
"Let's sit down please", said Nathan looking at then.
He was tired so tired. He just wanted this over with. He wanted to be home with his wife in their bed. He wanted to hold her and protect her from this. But he knew that he had issues with Dan as well. He needed to get stuff off his chest. He wanted to tell Dan no show Dan that damage he did to him. He needed to know that his biggest fear is not losing in basketball no his biggest fear was turning out like Dan.
They sat down for a whole ten minutes before Dan spoke up. He looked directly at Lucas that right now had his head bent.
"I don't hate you I never could", said Dan.
"I hated myself. I hated that I was this guy. Shit man I hate who I am. I sat in the doctor's office as he told me that I was going to die. All I kept thinking about is that I had no one to share this with. My ex- wife hates me. My brother can't stand the sight of me. Karen, god Karen, I am lucky she doesn't spit at me when she sees my face. But what I realized is that I have two sons, two sons that hate me too. You are the most important people in my life and yet I treated you like crap, I treated you like you weren't important to me. I couldn't even pick up the phone to call you because my biggest fear would be that you would tell me that I deserve every inch of pain that was suffering from. I know I do, I know this is my punishment. But even to me for all that I have done it still doesn't take away the hurt that I gave you. I am sorry but I know those words don't mean anything coming from me. But I am, I am so sorry. So very sorry. God I don't know what to say", said Dan.
This was the first time that they had seen Dan Scott so broken before.
"Dan I don't know what you want us to say. Shit you come here after all these years. Its death that makes you see that your wronged us. You threaten my wife, treat her like shit. You ride me for years. You treat me like shit. I loved basketball but I hated it too because of you. You made me feel like I was never good enough. I hated you. I hated how you made me feel. I hated that you could get to me. I hated that you kept me from my brother. Why did you do that? I don't understand why would you do that?", asked Nathan looking into Dan's eyes.
It spooked him sometimes when he would look into the eyes that were so similar to his. "I was so scared to get my wife pregnant, do you know why? I was scared that I would turn out like you. Shit I scare myself that I am so similar to you. Lucas was lucky he didn't get your personality but me, shit I was you for so long. That's why I clung to Haley. She made me believe that I was better than that man was becoming. I was better than you", said Nathan.
"You are better than me you both are", said Dan.
"That's why I hated her, she had the power to take both of you away from me. Just like Keith, he took both of you from me. He god, it didn't matter that he was your uncle and that I was biologically your father. You both grew to think of him as your father", said Dan.
"Is that why you held that gun at him during the school shooting. You would have shot him if police did come into the building. He forgave you but you were really going to kill him weren't you?", asked Lucas.
Dan rubbed his eyes. He remembered that day clearly. He remembered looking at his older brother leaning down on the dead body of Jimmy Edwards. He saw the gun and picked it up and pointed it at Keith. It was that moment when he knew that he was evil. He wanted his brother dead because his brother was taking away the life that he always wanted. He loved Nathan but he wanted to be a family with Lucas and Karen. He remembered that night when Lucas won their first game of the season. He watched Lucas, Karen, and Keith eating dinner. He wanted to be sitting in Keith's place. He wanted to be with a family. He wanted to be part of a family.
"Yes I wanted him dead, I wanted him gone so I could be with you and Karen. I wanted to be your father, your family", said Dan looking at Lucas.
Lucas looked at him shocked. "I don't understand that at all", said Lucas. "You could have been a father, you could have been there for us, but instead you had to get rid of what you thought was a problem. He was your brother. Your brother Dan. You would kill your own brother. God", said Lucas getting up.
"I don't even know what to say", said Nathan sighing.
"I talked to Keith already, he forgave me", said Dan.
"What about my mom, what about how you treated her, or how your treated Karen. It would take lifetimes to make it up to everyone", said Nathan getting up.
"let's go Lucas", said Nathan.
Dan looked at both his sons. Lucas looked at the man. He looked broken but Lucas just couldn't forgive him.
"I don't want your forgiveness, I know I don't deserve it. I just want to spend time with you both before I you know. I just please just a little bit of time", said Dan coughing. He kept coughing.
"Dan you alright", asked Nathan moving towards him.
Dan nodded his head. He was surprised when Lucas handed him a bottle of water in which he drank quickly.
"Yeah just had something in my throat", said Dan but they knew he was lying.
"Look give us some time alright, we will come again", said Nathan.
"What about you?", asked Dan looking at Lucas.
"I need time", said Lucas looking down.
Dan nodded his head. Nathan's phone rang then.
"Hello", said Nathan.
"Corina slow down, what happened to Haley", said Nathan. His eyes widen. "I coming", said Nathan shutting his cell phone.
"What is it, is Haley alright?", asked Dan surprising them.
"Haley is having the baby, let's go", said Nathan already looking like he was going to panic.
Lucas and Nathan went to the door before they left the room Lucas turned around.
"Want to come?", asked Lucas.
Dan smiled and nodded his head. The Scott men ran out the door.