Part 7
Buffy and Faith were cuddling on the couch in the living room watching a very upset Anya changing Joan's diapers
"okay sweetie, here's your first lesson on men 101" she said unfastening the grip "they are useless…you can't count on them for much anything" she removed the dirty diaper making a face because of the smell and threw it away "the two most import things for them are beer and football" she lifted the baby's legs to clean up her little tooshie "they marry you, get you pregnant and when the baby is born and mess with your body and you are not as attractive as you were before they simply run away from sex and deprive you from delicious orgasms" she finished putting some talcum and fastening the clean diaper
"What is she talking about?" Faith asked amazed by the ex demon's speech
"Apparently Xander is…uh, how can I say…uh…not as present as he should be…if you know what I mean" Buffy answered making a gesture with her fingers
"Oh…" she said realizing what the blonde meant
"Yeah"
"you know…a woman has needs" Anya continued her lesson "and when her man is not fulfilling them, she got three options" she said putting the baby back on the stroller "one…take maters in your own hands" both slayers' eyes bulged almost coming off their sockets "gives the same degree of pleasure and when you're finished you don't have to listen to someone snoring at your side all night" she was on fire "two…you can have an affair…you know…find another man to give you orgasms" she explained to the clueless child "or three…you can become a lesbian…when you're older I'll teach you about lesbians" she finished putting the things back in the baby's bag. Buffy and Faith were shaking their heads as if not believing their ears "speaking of lesbians…"
"Oh my God, she's not finished" Buffy exclaimed hiding her face in her girlfriend's neck. Anya sighed and rolled her eyes
"What I was going to ask was…where's Willow?"
"That's a very good question" Tara said coming down from the stairs
"You don't know where she is?" Buffy asked a little surprise
"Not exactly…" Tara answered picking Joan up "well…she told me she was going out with Ariel but didn't say where to…" she played with the baby "she's been all mysterious lately"
"Mysterious how?" Faith asked getting up from the couch
"For starters, she was on the phone all day yesterday" she put the baby back down "and every time I came around she changed the subject…and today she left without saying where she was going"
"Maybe she's having an affair" Anya shrugged simply
"She's not" Buffy jumped on her best friend's defense "didn't she tell you anything?"
"Actually she told me to dress up that she was going to pick me up at eight" Tara answered
"There you go…I'm sure she's got a perfect explanation for her behavior" Buffy said reasonably
"Yeah, she probably does" Tara agreed nodding slowly. The front door opened and Giles walked in
"Oh…hello" he greeted the group
"Hey Giles…bye Giles" Faith said walking to the door
"Uh, Faith?" he called the brunette slayer
"Yeah?"
"I…uh…I'd really like to talk to you…what time will you be home?" he asked tentatively
"By five...why?" she asked lifting an intrigued eyebrow "what's the matter?"
"Nothing much" he answered simply "I just wish to discuss some…uh…patrolling impressions with you"
"Oh…okay" she said shrugging "later then…come on B" she called and the blonde joined her at the door
"Uh…you're leaving too?" he questioned her
"yeah…Principal Woods decided to keep a close eye on me…something about me being constantly late" she said rolling her eyes "and since I can't kick his ass I might as well be on time…so bye" she waved and left
"Okay…I have to go too" Tara said gathering her stuff
"You too?" he asked amazed by the dispersion
"Yes…I have some term papers to grade and some lectures to prepare" she explained putting on a pair of glasses "plus I have to be home early to get ready for my…whatever that Willow's been up to"
"You look so cute when you wear your glasses" he complimented and she blushed
"Thank you…see you later" she smiled and left
"Bye" he waved and turned to look at Anya "what about you?"
"Me?" she snorted "since I've been lacking of orgasms I'd better go and make some money" she said pushing the stroller towards the front door
"I'll come with you" he declared holding the door for her
"Good…so tell me, what is it good for male impotence?" she asked nonchalantly
"I beg your pardon?" he closed the door behind him
Later that day, Buffy walked inside the house and was greeted by her sister
"Hey Buffy"
"Hi…what you doing here?" she asked
"I'm helping Tara getting dressed" Dawn answered fussing with what seemed to be a make up kit
"Oh…did Willow show up?" she asked moving to the couch
"Nope…but it's almost eight she should be here soon"
"Hey guys" Xander greeted them
"Hi Xan" Dawn offered and ran upstairs to finish with Tara
"Hey…what's up?" he asked joining Buffy on the couch
"Tara is getting ready for her mysterious date with Will and Dawn is helping her" she informed "where's Anya? Still enjoying her celibate?" she asked smirking at her friend
"What…how do you…" he sighed dramatically "what did she say?"
"Oh, she didn't tell me anything specifically, but she was teaching your daughter how to…uh…take matters in her own hands" she pursed her lips together
"Oh God!" he covered his eyes with both hands
"What's going on Xan?" she asked sympathetically
"Well…I've been under a lot of stress" he explained honestly "you know…I've been trying to get this promotion cause now I have a child and a wife to support…and I could really use the money"
"You've been working your ass out, huh?" she rubbed a hand on his back
"Yeah…and when I get home I'm really tired and well…she's Anya" they both nodded in understatement "the problem is that little soldier here is beginning to fail me" he finished dejectedly
"You should talk to her" Buffy said honestly "if there's one thing Anya understands better than sex is money"
"Yeah" he nodded and looked up "Holly Molly!" he exclaimed with his jaw dropping by the sight of Tara on the stairs
"So how do I look?" she asked self-consciously
"Wow…you look great" Buffy said cheerfully
"Beautiful…absolutely beautiful" Xander complimented her
"Told you…Willow is gonna drool when she sees you" Dawn said bumping the blonde with her shoulder
"I don't know…I'm not used to dress like…this" she waved to her own body
The door bell rang
"Trust me…you look perfect" Dawn said and moved to open the door; she then saw Ariel standing there looking all serious "hey squirt"
"Good evening…I'm looking for Ms Tara Maclay" she said with a straight face
"Oh, you do, do you?" Dawn questioned cynically "one moment please" Dawn stepped aside to reveal Tara; she'd been watching the scene amazed by her daughter's representation; she then came forward and stopped on the threshold
"Yes?" she tried hard to remain serious
"Ms Maclay?" she asked
"Yes…that's me" Tara played along
"I have a message from Ms Rosenberg" she said letting a bit of her British accent show
"Okay" Tara nodded biting the inside of her cheek
"She says she's waiting for you" the little girl handed the blonde a beautiful red rose "your carriage awaits princess" she motioned for a white limo parking outside with an uniformed driver standing by it holding the door open for her
"Oh my goddess" she gasped
"Go meet your love mama" Ariel whispered smiling