DISCLAIMER, MARK II!

Let it be known that I do not own any Summons, Espers, Aeons, or GFs. They belong to Squaresoft (or Square Enix) (or the Final Fantasy people). It's also worth noting that I will probably refer to these beings as any of the aforementioned names.

Lute: Final Fantasy much?

Why does Link need to talk to the Ice Climbers? What is in the Handy Institute of Biology? Are there new horrors in store for the crew? LET'S FIND OUT!

(Cue Brinstar Depths music)

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Fox sat alone in the hangar, working on yet another Multi Bottle Rocket. No matter how many they made, Marth always wanted five more. Falco had gotten so fed up that he had to go play Happy Fun Flying Simulator to calm down, and Mewtwo was napping in the corner.

"Why do we need to make such a big explosion, anyway?" Fox asked himself. "Why can't we just throw rocks through his window or something?" He sighed and leaned backward. "This whole thing is a bit much, actually. I think we need a break or something…"

His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Mario walked in holding one of his (in)famous pizzas. "I thought you might-a be hungry-a!" he called to Fox.

Mewtwo sat up. "Must you be so loud?" he grumbled. "I was just reaching the REM cycle."

"The what?" Mario asked, puzzled.

"Random eye movement," Fox explained.

Mario rubbed his head. "You really must-a stop making things up-a…" he groaned. He set the pizza down in front of Fox and ran as Mewtwo shot a ball of energy at him.

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"Hello?" Peach called. "Is anyone there?"

The laboratory was much larger than it had appeared from the outside. The foyer was almost four stories high and had a very large portrait of Master Hand towering in the middle. Various scientific instruments were strewn about and several containers filled with a bizarre orange gelatin lined the walls. Peach cautiously approached one of the containers, labeled "IFRIT".

"I wonder what this is…" she mumbled to herself as she investigated it. She could make out a vague shape in the container, but she wasn't quite sure what it was.

Something else caught her attention almost immediately, however.

"Hey, gungantzel!" she exclaimed as she found a small herb sitting in a beaker nearby. "I wonder what the scientists here were doing with a sugary plant?"

Peach began wandering around the lab, collecting all the gungantzel she could find. There was a small amount left by every container, indicating that it was used as part of an experiment.

She had just finished collecting it when she heard an odd chink. She looked around the room, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Chink. Chink. CHINK!

She turned her head back toward the IFRIT container. Several large cracks had begun to form in the glass, and it looked like it was about to

CRASH!

Peach let out a small squeal as the glass shattered. The orange gelatin seeped onto the floor, revealing a large demon-like creature. It slowly raised its head and locked its eyes onto her own.

"Ah…" she whimpered.

The Esper let out a deafening roar and created two enormous balls of fire in its hands. Peach quickly dove to her right as it fired the energy at her.

"Omigodomigodomigodomigodomigod…" she cried as she fled from the lab, Ifrit following close behind.

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Meanwhile, another princess was sitting on her bed, staring at her new picture, The Essence of Black by Impa. "All hail the blackness," she muttered. "The darkness that will consume all…"

There was a sudden pounding at the door. "Zeeeeldaaaa," an obnoxiously loud voice called, "can we come in?"

Zelda turned her head and sighed. "I would prefer to be alone right now, Popo," she half-yelled.

"We have presents for you!" Nana yelled in response. "You'll really like them!"

Zelda closed her eyes. "Okay…" She stood up and walked over to the door. She turned the lock…

"YAY!" the Ice Climbers squealed as they jumped on top of her. She let out a small gasp as she fell backwards onto the carpet.

"Please get off…" she said. "This carpet is so thin…"

The two explorers leapt to their feet and indicated a package behind them. "This is the first of our many Glee Presentz!" Popo exclaimed. "They are guaranteed to satisfy!" Nana nodded her head enthusiastically to reinforce his comment.

"…okay…if I open these gifts, will you let me take a nap?"

Nana stuck her fist in the air. "Of course!" she shouted.

Zelda slowly approached the box, which she now realized was labeled "fragile". Popo began rubbing his hands together as she opened the box.

"It's a glass figurine of Link!" Nana cried. Zelda picked up the small figure carefully. "OMG OMG I forgot how pretty it is in the last five minutes!"

Zelda turned to face them. "It's beautiful…" she whispered. "I can't believe you got this for me…"

"And that's not all!" Popo yelled. "We also got you…" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of five silver objects. "A set of Silver Rupees from the Kakariko Well!"

Zelda stared at them incredulously. "How did you even find these?" she asked in awe.

"We got them when we were on our Exciting Expedition!" Nana cried out.

""You're exciting expedition…you don't mean…" Zelda's eyes flew open. "You brought the Excit-O-Matics!"

The Ice Climbers grinned back at her. "Link told us that you have an Angst-O-Matic, and we wanted to get you back to your normal self!" They both extended their hands, which held small exclamation points.

Zelda began to twitch. "I…I can't believe this…" She gripped the frowny face tightly. "I think you should leave."

Nana held up her index finger. "Wait! Just one more thing…" She reached into a back pocket of her parka. "It's…"

"EEVEE!" they shouted as Nana pulled out a small, furry, and all around adorable Pokemon. Eevee smiled up lovingly at Zelda and licked her arm.

"Aww…" said Ness, Bowser, and Dr. Mario, who had all stopped to witness the spectacle that was occurring.

Zelda began to shake visibly. Her hand slowly unclenched, revealing a shattered frowny face inside.

"YAY!" the Ice Climbers shouted. They picked Zelda up and began to carry her throughout the house. "ZELDA'S BACK! ZELDA'S BACK!"

Zelda looked around in surprise. "Why are you guys carrying me? Oh, an Eevee!"

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The doorbell rang.

"Huh?" Young Link looked up from his game. "I wonder who that is?"

Samus pulled herself up and slowly limped toward the door. "I guess we'll find out," she answered. She pulled the door open to see a blond man in a blue silk suit standing on the other side.

"Hello, Samus of the Smashers!" the man said, smiling. "My name is Harlan Everts, and I'm here to tell you that the Smashers have been chosen to play the infamous game of skill, strength, and intellect! It is…" he paused for dramatic effect, "Multililoquy!"

Samus blinked repeatedly. "Could you repeat – WHOA!" she cried as Young Link charged past her.

"You mean we get to be on Multililoquy! This is SO COOL!" he shouted. "Ness! You won't believe who's at the door!" he called, charging out of the room.

Samus turned back to Harlan. "Um…hi."

Harlan stepped in and looked around. "Wow! This place is amazing! It will be an excellent place for the challenge!" He looked around. "We have all the supplies…I think this room is a good size…you don't mind if we hold it in here, do you? I mean, it might get a little destructive, and I don't want to ruin anything important!" He flashed a smile at her, allowing her to see his larger-than-normal canine teeth.

"Are you a vampire?" she asked.

Young Link and Ness charged back in. "Of course!" Ness yelled. "He's only, like, the awesomest vampire ever! He even got blessed by some demigoddess so he can go out in sunlight without getting hurt and he can grow these huge black wings and he's got the best gameshow and I can't believe he's here in my house holy crap this is awesome…" he took in a huge breath. "You are, like, my idol!" he said, staring reverently up at the game show host.

Harlan laughed. "I'm always glad to meet a fan!" he said, clapping the two boys on their backs. "Tell you what, I'll let you two make up some rules for the event!"

"Are you serious?" Young Link breathed.

"…games…why are we always getting involved in these stupid games…" Samus moaned.

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Captain Falcon sat back in Samus' airship, trying to think of a good pose to be in when Peach returned. Something alluring, yet masculine. Not too forward, of course. Not that such a thing existed with him, but you could never be too careful.

He leapt up in shock as something slammed into the ship. A second later, Peach fell through the entry hatch.

"Get us out of here!" she screamed at the captain. He stared at her in shock for a second, and then ran for the controls.

"What happened?" he asked her as he powered the accelerator.

"I don't know! Some huge monster thing attacked me!" She pulled a plant out of her bag. "But I managed to find some gungantzel!"

"All right!" Captain Falcon cheered. The ship rocked again as Ifrit hit the visor. Falcon managed to get the ship to lift off, and within seconds they were out of the planet's atmosphere.

Peach fell back onto the metal table that served as a bed. "Oh, I'm so glad that's over…" She sat still for a minute, then looked over to the captain. "You know, you were remarkably dependable back there."

"I know. Did it turn you on?"

Peach slapped her forehead. "I knew I shouldn't have said that…"

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Thus ends Chapter 5! Just in case anyone is wondering, Harlan Everts is an OC. As far as I know, anyway.

Valete!