YAHHHH! Second chappie of dooooooooooooooooom! Sorry for the long wait, and the even longer wait for Ham-Ham Interviews. It's partly because I'm doing those EVIL STANDARDIZED TESTS at school, and partly because I just ran out of ideas! If anybody has any ideas for HHI, let me know! Anyway, on to the chapter!
Bijou's Babysitter Blues by cappyandpashy4ever
Chapter 2: A miserable attempt at dinner
"Okay Bijou," Bijou said out loud, pushing sweat off her face. "You can do this, you can do this, you can- what am I saying? I can't do this! Those two are living nightmares! I need help! Serious help! That only leaves on person…"
She fingered through her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She could hear Pretzel and Cinnamon running down the hall, so quick as a flash, she dialed the phone.
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Pashmina sat in her room, lying face down on her bed. She was bored. So bored. So incredibly bored that I won't even take the time to explain it to you. In fact, she was so bored that just explaining it to you would cause you to be as bored as she was, and we don't want that, no, not at all.
Pashmina had been like this for a while now. Lying half asleep, not even thinking. She was shocked out of her half-vegetated state, however, when her phone rang from inside her purse.
"Nyaaaa!" Pashmina yelled, stumbling over a pile of clothes in a mad frenzy to reach her phone. After tripping a dozen more times, she managed to grip her phone, press the talk button, and mutter "Hello?" into the receiver.
"Hello Pashmina."
"Bijou!" Pashmina screamed into the phone. "Where have you been? I've tried to call your house about fifty thousand times!"
"I'm at the Teriyaki's house." Said Bijou. " I have a babysitting job here. But I can't talk long, they're coming. I need you to come over here quick! The address is 5 Ham n' Cheese Lane."
"But why?" Pashmina asked.
"I'll explain later!" cried Bijou, slightly panicked. "Just hurry over here okay!"
Bijou hung up.
"Well," Pashmina said to herself. "I guess I have no choice."
Pashmina trudged through the hall, pulled on her shoes, and right before leaving through the front door yelled "Penelope! I'm going out!"
"What are you telling me for?" Penelope yelled back. "I don't care!"
"Just go back to watching Hammy-Tubbies!" Pashmina snapped.
"Fine!" cursed Penelope. "I will!"
Pashmina promptly slammed the door and got in her car. Just as she was buckling her seat belt, a strange though came to her.
"Teriyaki…where have I heard that before?"
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Bijou's heart beat loudly as she crept along the hall, following the voices of Pretzel and Cinnamon. She was afraid of what they might be doing. When the voices got close enough, it looked like they were coming from a small door on the left side of the hall. Bijou entered the door.
Inside was a bare room with nothing but a litter-box in the center and a large closet on the side. Pretzel and Cinnamon stood arched over the litter-box, each with a paw in their hand, dangling the cat upside down. Every few seconds, Cinnamon would give a strong poke to the cat's stomach.
"C'mon kitty!" Cinnamon yelled. "When I poke your tummy, you supposed to pee, just like my dolly!"
"Pretzel know!" said Pretzel. "We must get new cat-litter before kitty go potty!"
Pretzel scrambled into the closet and came out seconds later with a huge bag of litter. The bag seemed to be too heavy for him to carry, and Bijou knew in a second that he would drop it and it would break on the floor. She ran over to him.
"Pretzel! Give this to me!" she screamed.
"No!" Pretzel shouted, giving the bag a tug.
"Yes!" Bijou yelled, pulling it back towards her.
"Alright." Said Pretzel, smiling happily and dropping the bag. Unfortunately, this is what Bijou dreaded most. The bag fell onto the floor, split open and literally exploded with cat-litter, most of it on Bijou's shoes.
"No!" Bijou yelled, swiping the litter off her shoes the best she could. "Why did I have to wear my expensive French pumps today of all days?" she muttered to herself.
"Wheeeee!" Pretzel and Cinnamon cried, picking up the litter and tossing it into the air. "It's snowing gray stuff!"
"Great," said Bijou. "How am I gonna clean this up?"
"You don't have to!" screamed a voice from the doorway. Bijou looked around to see Pashmina standing there with a vacuum cleaner in her hand. "Because I'm…a neat freak!"
"Pashmina!" Bijou cried. "I'm glad you came so quick! Now I need you to-"
"AHHHHH!" Pashmina cut across her.
"Oo!" said Cinnamon. Is it loud noise time already? Come Pretzel, we must go find the instruments!" Cinnamon grabbed Pretzel's hand and they ran out of the room.
"What was that all about?" Bijou asked Pashmina, who was now looking severely shocked.
"I…" Pashmina stuttered. "I think I just had…a hallucination. I saw those demented siblings Pretzel and Cinnamon. But I must've just imagined it all…" Pashmina put a hand on her face.
"That was no hallucination." Said Bijou. "They're who I'm babysitting for."
"Who…" Pashmina stuttered. "What, where…Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you accept a job here of all places?" Pashmina slid down against the wall.
"I didn't know I was sitting for them!" cried Bijou. "But that's not the point. I need help!"
"Darn right you need help!" Pashmina said. "We need staples. A lot of staples. I have some at my house, I'll go get them."
Pashmina ran out the door.
"We're back!" said Pretzel, entering the room with a xylophone in his paws. Cinnamon followed, carrying a drum.
"Where your noisy friend go?" Cinnamon asked Bijou.
"She left for a bit." Said Bijou.
"Okay!" they both shouted, tossing the instruments in the corner where they shattered to pieces.
"Now…" muttered Bijou. "How do I use this vacuum?"
She pressed a small red button at the top of the nozzle. It instantly started sucking up the litter on the ground.
"That's more like it!" Bijou exclaimed, triumphantly guiding the nozzle and gulping up more litter.
"Hey!" said Pretzel, pointing to the vacuum. "That looks fun!"
Pretzel ran up to the nozzle and put his finger in it. Without warning, the machine gave an upward thrust, and Pretzel's head disappeared into it.
"Wahoo!" Cinnamon shouted, clamping onto Pretzel's foot, as it too was lost in the vacuum.
"Oh my gosh! Cinnamon! Pretzel! No!" Bijou screamed, grabbing hold of Cinnamon's leg. Bijou didn't know what happened, but the vacuum gave a lurch, everything was dark, and Bijou felt like she was being squeezed through a very small rubber tube.
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Then she felt a thump as she landed on some sort of ground. She stood up and opened her eyes. She was in a very large, grassy area. There was a huge crowd of hillbillies standing in front of her.
"What the heck…" Bijou muttered, looking around in all directions. Eventually, she saw two heads, one with cream-colored hair and one with cinnamon brown. Bijou walked up to them.
They were both transformed. Pretzel had overalls on with no shirt. He also had on a very tarnished pair of sandals and a few teeth missing. Cinnamon looked odd in a belly shirt with ripped shorts. He feet were bare and adorning her head was a small, yellow sun hat.
"Well howdy Bijou!" Pretzel and Cinnamon exclaimed upon seeing her.
"Uh, okay…this is weird." Bijou said, staring at Pretzel and Cinnamon's strange attire. "Does either of you know how I can get the heck outta here?"
"Hyuk-hyuk!" they both burst out laughing.
"Right then." Said Bijou, deciding to try another person.
She walked up to a rather fat old man who was whittling a twig.
"Um, sir? Do you know how I can't get out of here?" she asked.
"Well button my corn and pierce my ladle! Ain't you the purdiest gal I ever did see! Whoo-eee!" he slapped his knee.
"I'll just…try someone else then." Bijou said, backing away slowly. The next man he came across was a short, plump man who was bald with a few tufts of white hair on the sides. His clothes looked ancient and he held a small, glass object. Bijou walked up to him.
"Hello! I'm Benjamin Franklin." Said the man. "I invented the light-bulb!"
"That's nice," said Bijou. "But do you have any idea of how I can leave this place?"
"Light…bulb?" said Ben Franklin, holding up the bulb.
"Ugh!" cried Bijou. "This isn't working! GET ME OUTTA HERE NOW!"
Suddenly a huge current of wind swept towards Bijou, lifting her off the ground. Pretzel and Cinnamon joined her in the air. They were rising up…up…
"Hey!" Bijou yelled to the ground that was getting smaller by the second. "Thomas Edison invented the light-bulb not Benjamin Franklin!"
Then everything got dark and Bijou felt that strange compressed feeling again.
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Bijou hit the floor of the house with a soft thud. She picked herself up and scratched her head.
"Okay," she said. "I don't even know how that was possible. Oh well, dinner time!"
Pretzel and Cinnamon followed her to the kitchen. Bijou opened the door to the fridge. Unsurprisingly, it was entirely filled with blueberry pie.
"Pie! Pie!" Pretzel and Cinnamon chanted.
"No!" argued Bijou. "Your mother said no pie before dinner! But then, what are you guys supposed to eat? Don't you have any bologna around here?"
"Bologna!" they shouted, and then they burst into song. "My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R! My bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R! I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say! Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with P-Q-L-O-T-N-F!"
"That's not how you spell-" but Bijou was distracted by something she found behind one of the pies. It was hard, red, and…moving. "AHHHHHH!" Bijou screamed.
"Noise time!" shouted Pretzel. "To the instruments!"
"No!" said Bijou, calming herself down. "It's not instrument time. It's that." Bijou pointed to the red thing.
"Oh" said Cinnamon. "That's a lobster, not a that. Say it with me, lob-ster."
"I know what it is!" Bijou yelled, beginning to get annoyed. "But why in the world would you have a live lobster in the fridge?"
"We call him Carl." Answered Pretzel.
"That doesn't answer my question!" she yelled.
"I like-" began Pretzel.
"Yes, yes I know! Blueberry pie!"
"Let's make soup!" yelled Cinnamon, snatching a can out from her pocket.
"Why didn't you say you had that?" yelled Bijou. "Go make it!"
Pretzel and Cinnamon trotted off towards the microwave to cook the soup and Bijou sat down at the kitchen table and waited…waited…
"Man," said Bijou after a while. "That soup has been in the microwave for a long time. How long did you put it in for, Pretzel?"
"Well," said Pretzel, smiling his most demented smile. "Pretzel doesn't know numbers, so Pretzel just pressed the 'soup' button!"
"Hmm," said Bijou. "My microwave doesn't have that button, let me see it, Pretzel."
He lead her over to the microwave and pointed to a small button.
"See?" said Pretzel. "It says soup. P-O-P-C-O-R-N, soup!"
"No," sighed Bijou. "That button says popcorn. See, the P makes the puh sound and- POPCORN?"
Bijou opened the microwave. The soup was steaming but seemed to be unharmed.
"Good," Bijou said, relieved. "It looks like the soup's okay. I thought it was going to-"
But Bijou was stopped by a small rumbling sound. The next thing she knew, the soup had exploded all over her! She wiped off the drips from her face. She was not hurt, but the soup had taken its toll. The broth had turned Bijou's snow-white hair a delicate shade of yellow.
Bijou was about to burst with anger and strangle Pretzel and Cinnamon, but before she could do anything drastic, she heard a knock on the door.
Bijou walked up to the door and opened it. Pashmina stood framed in the doorway, holding a bag of staples.
"Hey Bij, I brought some- whoa!" Pashmina exclaimed. "Bijou, have you been trying to dye your hair? Sorry to break it to you but blonde is not your color."
"It's not me!" Bijou screamed with frustration. "It's the soup darn it!"
"I'm not even going to ask." Sighed Pashmina. "Anyway, I brought the staples."
"Thanks." Said Bijou. "Do we need anything else?"
"Well, judging on what just happened," Pashmina pointed at Bijou's hair. "Sandy's help would be much appreciated."
"Right," said Bijou. "I'll call her."
Bijou dialed Sandy's phone on her cell.
"Like, hello?" said Sandy over the phone.
"Sandy, it's Bijou." Bijou said.
"Oh, like, hey Bij. What's up?" Sandy asked.
"I got stuck babysitting for Pretzel and Cinnamon." Said Bijou.
"Like, totally uncool!" Sandy exclaimed. "Those two are nothing but trouble!"
"So, you'll come and help me and Pash then?" Bijou asked.
"Heck no!" cried Sandy. "Do you, like, know what they did to my ribbon last time?"
"Fine," said Bijou, sounding a bit evil. "Then I'll just have to ask Stan. I'm sure he'll come and help me and Pashmina, and while we're at it-"
"Okay, okay!" said Sandy. "Like, I'm on my way!"
Sandy hung up.
"Is she coming?" asked Pashmina when Bijou put away her phone.
"Yep." Said Bijou, smirking.
About thirty seconds later, the doorbell rang.
"Is Sandy here already?" Pashmina asked. "That was pretty fast."
Bijou went to open the door, but it wasn't Sandy…
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I know, I'm evil for leaving you guys with a cliffhanger. But I just had to do it! Remember to review, and if you have any ideas for HHI, let me know in a private message! (not in a review for this story please!) Thanks for reading Bijou's Babysitter Blues and I'll see you all in my next update! –cp4ever