Once again thanks for the reviews for the last chapter

Chapter 19: Stumbling

"Seth I really need to…." Ryan's heart skipped a beat and he felt the grip on his phone loosen. It fell from his hand and landed at his feet.

"Sandy!" Ryan shouted urgently. Sandy slammed on the brakes. He looked at Ryan who was staring into the distance, his eyes wide with fear. Sandy quickly followed Ryan's line of sight. Not far from them a car was parked off the road at the cliff edge.

Marissa's car.

Sandy pressed his foot on the accelerator and pulled in to the side of the road near Marissa's car. Ryan jumped out before Sandy had even stopped, and sprinted over to the car. He looked through the windows but no-one was there. He tried to pull one of the doors open but it was locked. Why was this happening to him? Was it really too much to ask? To just be able to hold her close to him. Ryan started kicking the car tyres in frustration. Through his rage he heard Sandy calling his name. He looked over to him. As soon as he saw Sandy's expression he knew something was really wrong. Ryan watched as Sandy lifted his arm and pointed to something behind Ryan. Ryan gradually turned around afraid of what he might see. At first all he could see was darkness, the ocean spreading out past the cliff edge. But away in the distance on the edge of the cliff he saw an outline of a figure through the darkness.

Before Ryan knew what was happening his legs were carrying him towards the figure, adrenalin and fear pumping through his veins. Ryan was shouting her name but all he could hear was the crashing of the waves below him.

"Marissa! Marissa!" He was getting closer but she still wasn't responding. She was standing completely still facing out into the ocean. He was only a matter of metres away before she finally moved. She turned her head towards him, her hair whipped off her face by the wind. Her eyes were red and puffy with a black smudge of makeup around each. She looked at him emotionlessly for a few seconds the turned back to the ocean

"Marissa?" He took another step towards her. When she had looked at him an eerie feeling swept through his body. It was as though the old Marissa had been replaced with an empty shell, void of all happiness. She still didn't say anything so he carefully took another step towards her. She was standing only about a metre away from the cliff edge and all he wanted to do was grab her and hold her tight, but he restrained himself. He knew that if he made one wrong move then he wouldn't be holding her. Ever. But if he didn't do anything he didn't want to think about what might happen. He stretched out his hand and gently touched her arm. As soon as his fingertips grazed her cold, bare arm he knew he had made a mistake. She suddenly reacted stumbling sideways away from him. Something all too familiar to Ryan.

Ryan peered through the small crack at his bedroom door. He gathered his blankets around him as he sat up all night just waiting. He felt his eyelids gradually grow heavier but he forced himself to stay awake. He quickly sat up as he heard the front door slam shut. He sat still as the house fell into complete silence. Then it happened. He watched as his mom stumbled past his door crashing into the table in the hallway. Ryan felt his heart sinking. He wished that for once she would come home without smelling of alcohol. He wished that for once she would gather him up in her arms and kiss him goodnight. He knew that she should be looking after him and not the other way round, but if he didn't look after her then who would? Ryan gently kissed his hand and blew it to her through the small crack, as she stumbled through the house completely unaware of him. He closed his eyes and sighed as he gently closed his door.

Marissa had the same stumble as his mom, but the one difference was that there was nothing in Marissa's way for her to crash into. If she stumbled too far…..

That was when he noticed the bottle of vodka in her other hand. Why was it always vodka?

"Mommy I'm thirsty. Can I have some of your water?"

"Ryan, go back to bed," she slurred. He retreated out the door. The last thing he saw before the door was slammed in his face was 'Vodka'.

From then on it had haunted his dreams.

As Marissa lifted the bottle up to her mouth to take a swig Ryan snapped. He couldn't just stand there. He wasn't going to let her slam the door in his face. He lunged forward and grabbed the almost empty bottle out of her hand.

"What the hell are you doing!" All the anger and fear inside Ryan rose to the surface.

"Why don't you just leave me alone!" she shouted back at him. He saw as tears retraced their way down her cheeks.

"We've spent all day looking for you and the whole time you've been here drowning your sorrows in vodka!" He threw the bottle to the ground and watched as it smashed into hundreds of pieces. "God damn it, Marissa! It's not going to help!" He just couldn't take it anymore.

"I don't know what else to do!" she cried back, tears flooding from her eyes. "I thought that going to the police, getting everything that happened out of my system would make it better, but it didn't!" She struggled to go on through her sobs. "And I'm scared, Ryan! All the time!"

"Then let me help you!"

"You can't help me! You don't understand! You weren't there!"

"Ye, I wasn't! And everyday I think 'What if?'. What if I had been there. Been with you, to help you. To save you from all this pain."

His voice started to lower as their eyes met.

"Well it's a bit late for that now," Marissa started to turn around.

"No it's not!" Ryan took a step towards her.

"Yes it is!" Marissa ran her hand through her hair. "It's happened, and I've got to live with the memory of it for the rest of my life."

"We can get through it! We can fight it together," he said taking another step towards her.

"No we can't! I can't. I'm too tired of fighting," she took a step back away from Ryan.

"Marissa…."

"Ryan, please…..," she said weakly. "I just need to be alone." She turned around to walk away but she had forgotten one thing. She had forgotten that step she had taken backwards. Backwards towards the cliff edge.

Marissa felt the ground crumble beneath her feet as she went one step too far. Her heart skipped a beat as the world around her slowed.

Ryan watched as Marissa's eyes widened in fear as the ground beneath her started to disappear.

"MARISSA……!"

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