Chapter 22

A/N Yet another descriptive relationship and building chapter that doesn't exactly move the action- plot forward. That's my warning. If you see any mistakes please let me know.

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It hadn't taken them very long to reach Aiden's room. They had used a transporter and arrived much quicker than if they had walked through Atlantis's corridors. Aiden punched the code to unlock his door and stepped aside to allow Willow to enter first. She had thought she would feel a little uncomfortable being alone with him in his room but this was far from the case. She was content to be with him. She knew there was a good chance they would make love tonight or very soon and she welcomed that possibility. The one thing she didn't like was the fact that she wasn't that attractively dressed. If only this morning she had put something a little more interesting than the standard issue Atlantis grey cargo pant. At least she had on an attractive shirt from the pile of clothing Teyla had given her. The top was deep green and sleeveless and had a v-neckline. The fabric was slightly quilted and gathered. The neckline had metal circles and decorative leather roping laced through the holes. She was also wearing matching grey jacket to the pants. Uck for the pants. Uck for the jacket.

The uniform pants were made out of some polyester that made swishy sounds as she moved. They were probably water and fire proof. No, she was not even remotely cute today. Willow turned around to face Aiden and tapped lightly on his chest. "Maybe I should run off and take a shower and change…" she tugged on her jacket. Aiden smiled. He lifted his hands and traced the neckline of her green tank top.

"I love this shirt. And what is wrong with the pants… a couple hundred expedition members can't be wrong…"

He didn't really want to let her out of his sight. He lowered his hands to her hips and pulled her close to his body. "You are beautiful… and besides you are supposed to be keeping an eye on me for at least an hour…" Willow raised her hands to his neck to hug him. He knew just what to say. You couldn't argue with a man that thought you were beautiful. You could blush—but you couldn't argue. She laid her head on one shoulder and moved to get even closer to him.

"Oh my. Aiden, that shower... I think you could be a little less manly smelling." Willow moved her hands from his upper body and stepped back. She scrunched her nose and tried out that teasing on him. He could handle teasing, right? She looked up and found him grinning at her.

"I'm on it, Mi lady." He lifted his hand and touched her on the shoulder and moved his hand to her neck. He lightly squeezed. The only thing Aiden really knew was that he knew he found Willow to be utterly charming—even when she told him he stank. He removed his hand and as he walked away from her he tossed it on the couch.

Willow looked around as Aiden walked through his room. He went to the closet and found replacement clothing. The room was double the size of hers and had a little side nook with a table and two chairs. There were a few handmade candles and a lopsided handmade bowl on the table. She had to decide if she wanted to set up dinner on the table or on the floor. She chose the floor. She removed the throw from the couch and arranged it on the floor for them to sit on and sat the tray on the ground.

She could hear the sound of the shower running in the background. For a moment she wondered if the ancients had installed the shower of if it were a recent addition. Her room only had a bath. Perhaps the military was obsessed with efficiency and speed. A shower was faster than bath… Aiden was naked under that spray of water. If she were a little less hinged she would toss off her clothes and then jump in the shower with him. Of course she wouldn't be doing that. Instead she would set up dinner and light the candles and wait. She didn't have long to wait. The shower stopped and Willow tensed. In a few minutes Aiden would be dressed and he would step back into this room. Her goals for the evening were to have dinner, get a few hugs and then head back to her room to sleep. Being knocked out really was far from life threatening—but if he asked her to stay she would. If he kissed her she would kiss him back. If he touched her she would enjoy and reciprocate. Of course he was far more likely to come into the room eat and fall asleep. It had been far too long of a day. Somewhat lost in her thoughts she didn't notice the sound of the bathroom door opening and the sound of Aiden moving towards her. She dropped to her knees in front of the tray and removed the cover. Dinner smelled delicious. It was lasagna and it was still warm. There was a healthy portion, more than enough for two people and a few bread sticks and a large bowl of salad.

"That smells great." Willow looked up from the tray slightly guilty. If she had been a bit faster and he a little slower she could have pilfered a flat noodle from the bottom of the dish and having a taste. Aiden would never have noticed. "Yep"

"Um. Aiden—I should tell you—I can't really cook. I can make cookies though." There were a ton of things she didn't do well. Willow didn't think it mattered but she felt she should lay the bad news on him in stages.

"Well you will just have to learn—now won't you?" He made the statement and went towards the closet.

Willow was in shock. Had he just laid down the law? What a strange alpha male law it was too. And then he had moved into the closet and the conversation was done. She was supposed to learn to cook? She was supposed to cook for him? She may have decided she was in love but she wasn't about to become a slave lady. She was a witch—a Scooby. You just couldn't chain a Scooby to the domestic life!

Willow stood up and turned around—not sure if she was standing up for a verbal fight or what.

"Now wait a minute mister!" Aiden closed the few feet distance between the two of them. He was grinning.

"I know you didn't think I was serious." He tilted his head. Mirth danced in his eyes. Aiden lowered himself and gave Willow a quick kiss. And she thought she could tease. He handed her a slim plastic plate and a small bowl. Willow smiled and walked back towards dinner. She wasn't going to say a thing about his joking. The dishes Aiden had handed her were made of a thin plastic. They were the kind you would eat off of at a casual Chinese restaurant.

"Where did you get these?"

"New Moon on Calvert Street in Baltimore. My first job. My second one was working at an Italian restaurant. I doubt we will ever go hungry…" Aiden didn't know why he had said the last sentence. It was hard to imagine life without Willow—he had no clue what his future was but he was sure she was a part of it. And her cookies. It could be a good life.

"Maybe you could show me a few things. I do like my food." She tossed a smile over her shoulder and made her way to the lasagna. She put her plate and bowl down on the floor and organized herself next to dinner. She looked up to see Aiden walking towards her. He was smiling. He had been joking. Such a silly man—you don't joke about chaining a woman to the kitchen. He had much to learn about women.

Aiden smiled and sat. He got comfortable. It was going to be a nice night—he could tell. He couldn't help but wonder exactly how things would go. It wasn't as if he had any intention of planning each moment. Light conversation… a kiss… share some personal tidbits. No intricate plans like that. What he wanted more than anything was to learn as much about Willow as he could.

Willow noticed that Aiden was wearing the worse looking sweatpants known to man. They were dark blue and had the words NAVY running horizontal on one leg in white. Each letter was cracked and fading. The Y was practically non existent. The elastic was almost completely gone from the bottom, so they no longer gathered at his ankles. Actually they were a little too short, so they didn't even reach his ankles. His t- shirt was equally worn but somewhat white, and somewhat brown, and somewhat grey. It was a standard round neck. Quite thin, quite old and evenly dotted with small round holes. Willow sat across from him and stared for a moment. She was confused. Why had he chosen such ugly clothing to put on?

Willow stared at him a little lost. Her eyes had questions hiding behind them. She stood and gathered her plate and bowl and sat down next to him. She dropped the bowl and plate onto the floor. The plastic made a dull clang and he felt her arm snake up around his neck. She was obviously going to kiss him and he had absolutely no idea why. Of course he wasn't complaining. Aiden leaned backwards a little and gathered her up in his arms. She helped him by scooting up and practically on top of him.

She kissed him with all the desire and longing in her heart. Willow had started kissing him when she had realized that he was dressed worse than a bum so that she would feel comfortable and she continued kissing him because she couldn't get enough of just how he tasted. She felt his hand reach into her jacket and she helped him by slipping it off her shoulders. One of Aiden's hands cupped her neck and jaw and held her face next to his. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and Willow sucked on it. She felt and heard a deep growl from the base of his throat. He wanted her and the truth was he had her. Completely.

After last night the thought had crossed her mind that in each of their sexual encounters he would take complete control. That wasn't happening right now. She was giving as much as she received. She felt Aiden's hand kneading at the flesh of her arm and then drop to her shirt covered back. He slipped his hand under her shirt. Willow felt her body warm fully to his touch. She could feel his erection through his crummy pants and his teeth lightly graze at her throat. Little shivers rushed through the tendons of her neck and she just started giggling. The ridiculousness of the situation had fully hit her. Charin had been right. She had made a good choice.

"What's funny?" Willow heard Aiden ask the question and his voice sounded a good deal deeper than usual. He was sexy.

"Those pants." Willow squirmed in Aiden's arms and moved her hands down his chest. She laid feather like kisses on his face. "That shirt..." On the tip of his nose and then paused for a much longer kiss on his lips.

"Laughing at a man's limited wardrobe…" Aiden didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. He felt Willows' finger on his lips silencing him.

"More like giggling at your attempt to make me comfortable."

"Was it overkill?" Aiden searched her eyes. He was looking for the truth. "You know, I last used this shirt to clean the windows…" Willow tossed her head back and laughed. She sat up with a leg on either side of his body. "You know if you keep moving like that we won't get what we need."

"What do we need?" Willow couldn't believe she had actually said those words. And Aiden didn't believe he had ever seen anyone blush so prettily before. The last thing he wanted was her uncomfortable. Love was a gift, sex was just a bonus. "Dinner."

"Yeah, dinner." Willow smiled at him gratefully and unwrapped her legs from his body. She had thought to move her place back to the other side of the dinner setting but Aiden laid his hand on her shoulder. "Don't. It will be fine." He smiled at her. He wanted her close to him.

The rest of dinner was blissfully uneventful. Aiden kept her entertained and comfortable. His hand would occasionally stray to her leg or she would lean against his body. They were comfortable together and only getting more so. The food was wonderful—Jonathon had made great lasagna with obviously limited ingredients. When they finished dinner Willow stood. She didn't know if she should stay or go—she decided that she must go and settle in to bed. She didn't want to make Aiden feel uncomfortable and she didn't want to overstay her welcome.

"Can you stay the night?" Willow heard the low spoken words.

"Yes." How could she answer that any other way?

Aiden didn't say anything. A part of him was concerned if he said anything he would break the spell they were under. She had said yes without babbling, thinking. There was no hesitation. Of course she was the witch and he was not the—was it warlock? He had her under no spell—she on the other hand… He was completely under hers. He gathered the dishes and put them on the tray and placed the cover on top. He still didn't say anything. He watched her movements as he walked about reorganizing things. He moved his radio and the paper bag Dr. Beckett had given to him to the bedside table and removed the extra pillow from the closet. He went back to the bag and opened the stapled top. It was as he had expected—ibuprophen, a box of condoms and warming lubricant. At last he turned on the bedside light and blew out the candles, all the while half watching Willow.

Willow stood and picked up the throw blanket. She neatly folded it and put it back onto the low couch. She wanted to ask him if he wanted her to take the couch but she was sure he would give her the, "Are you kidding me???" look. She sat on the couch and unlaced her shoes. She heard Aiden's quiet approach. He had an overlarge sleeveless t-shirt in his hand. "If you'd like to use it…" He let the words trail off. Willow nodded yes and stood and began walking towards the bathroom to change. It occurred to her she was being silly, even fake. False modesty never made any sense.

This man had touched ever inch of her body and she was going to change in the bathroom? Instead she decided to stop at the closet. She removed a hanger and walked back to the couch. She quickly removed her tank top and turned her back towards Aiden. She didn't know if he was looking but she didn't have the guts to take off her bra facing him.

She unhooked it and slipped the shirt over her head. The shirt smelled of cedar and oranges. She slid her pants off her hips and pulled the shirt as low as it would stretch. It reached mid thigh. She folded her pants and put them on the hanger and slid the shirt on top of the pants. She hooked the arm of her bra over the loop of the hanger and then slid her jacket on top the tank. She put the entire ensemble into the closet and turned to located Aiden. He was busily putting out the candles. She knew it hadn't taken him longer than five seconds to blow out two candles. He'd been watching her. She knew it, she didn't mind. The last thing she needed to do was move her body to the bed. Walking was usually such an easy task. What had he said just that morning… 'We don't have the time for all I want to do with you.' Of course the man had been knocked unconscious that afternoon and he had told her about a mission briefing he would have tomorrow morning—and a likely mission he would have in the afternoon. He surely needed to conserve his energy. This fact still didn't help her make her way to the bed. It was a good eight steps away.

Aiden gave up. He stared at the confusion on her face. She obviously found it difficult to take the few steps to the bed. He had a few choices. Option A: He could get into bed and wait for her to join him. Option B: He could toss her over his shoulder and then into the bed. Option: C He could do his personal favorite—kiss her and gently move her towards the bed. He decided to exercise his last option. Aiden walked up to Willow. Her back was turned towards him. He gently swatted her on the backside and gave her a slow kiss.

"Hey. Ow. What was that for?" Willow was bemused, not angry. This man made no sense. She was trying to get over her nervousness and instead of talking her out of being a little tense he tried to swat it out of her. She watched as he shrugged.

"Dunno. It was just an impulse I had." He swept his hand out and indicated the bed. He watched as Willow nodded her head, 'Yes' vigorously. The rest of her body still hadn't moved. Aiden decided to pull down the covers and stand and wait. He could always try option A or B. Option B suited his nature better. He counted to ten, slowly. He gave up. He peeled his shirt off his body and listened for it. He heard the sound of her quickly sucked in breath. She obviously liked his body. If he were a tad more vain he would stand in the most flattering poses he could think of—flex his chest a little or make a bicep muscle jump out in his arm. That really wasn't necessary. He tossed the shirt on the couch and walked towards her. It was time to enact Option B.

Willow looked up to see Aiden walking towards her. Goodness he was sexy. She hadn't seen all this muscle yesterday. If she were in a clinical mood she could name the curve of every muscle…. she could start with that curved line between his pectoral muscles…

"You coming to bed?" Aiden smiled down at Willow. He was far from pressuring her—

"I'm getting there—you know, no guts- no glory."

"You know you can take the bed—and I can take the couch—or I could walk you back to your room…" Willow stepped closer to Aiden.

"I want to be here, with you. I'm just nervous." She spoke the words into his chest.

"Don't be. Don't worry. I would never make you uncomfortable." He felt her warm breath on his chest. He knew what he wanted with her but there was no time frame. Sex was a step they could take—today—tomorrow—next week—next month even. Well, maybe not next month. Time wasn't an issue. It really didn't matter to him.

"Just relax, with me." Aiden took one step from Willow and scooped her in his arms. He carried her to the bed and laid her in it. He laid down beside her. While he wanted to nestle her in his arms he restrained himself. While he knew he didn't want to make her uncomfortable he was also certain, over the course of the night, she would find herself in his arms.

"Just sleep." Willow heard Aiden's words and she welcomed them. Sleep she could do with ease. Even the idea of sex was making her so nervous.

"Willow?"

"Yeah."

"Take as long as you need." Aiden said this for her benefit but his statement was partially self directed. He knew he was sure he desired her, wanted to get to know her, wanted to protect her… all these things. What he didn't want was to attach himself to her only to have her change her mind.

"Okay." Willow answered him with the single word. "You know, Aiden—it would be easier if we would just fall into bed—almost like an accident. You know--- just kissing and then getting caught up in the moment." It was the truth. If they just started kissing and ended up in bed it would be as if they could blame their hormones on the whole thing if there were any second thoughts the next day.

"This is true—but I'd rather have premeditated—planned—deliberate—intentional—conscious—lovemaking."

Willow was silent. Aiden had half expected her to say something—anything.

"You mean? What do you mean?" She knew she was foolish. She had set up her own boundaries for their relationship without reason. Aiden was not Oz. He was not an animal driven by a creature's desire to mate with another animal—rather he was driven by the thought out--yearning to be with her.

"I mean- I want to fall asleep replaying our encounter in my head—I want to wake up and lose myself inside you. That's what I mean."

"Really?" Willow spoke the word in a small voice. She mostly believed him. She almost completely trusted him. There was just this nagging little what if…

"Really." Aiden wanted her to trust him. If he kissed her again and again and tore down her resistance and they made love there was no guarantee she would stay with him. There was pain in her, pain he didn't know about. If he made love to her right now he knew she would hide her heart from him. A part of her obviously believed she could love him—that had to be why she was in this bed with him. But an part of her was skeptical. He wanted her one hundred percent positive… completely sure. He wouldn't be her rebound man.

Willow felt herself drifting towards sleep. She was a little confused. She knew she was connected to him and just that afternoon she had realized she surely loved him—now in his presence and in his bed she was waiting for some accident of excess physicality to push then into another realm. He wanted deliberate lovemaking and she wanted to be overwhelmed by desire and make love. Maybe she was only a fool and a coward.

"Aiden."

"Yeah." Aiden heard Willow say his name in a tiny voice. She spoke in an almost whisper.

"I want you and I want 'this', but I am scared. I am no good at love." Willow felt like she had just told him her biggest secret. It was the truth. She really was no good at love. So many people she had loved had just disappeared, Oz, her mother and her father. Admittedly her mother and father were just on book tours. They were distant and so attached to psychoanalysis they had no understanding and interest in any part of her reality. She had tried to rationalize her relationship with Oz as only as running its' course but a part of her wondered if those she loved were just destined to leave.

The only people who hadn't left were the Scooby's—but their love was a tie almost as strong as family. Oz was a different type of bond. Maybe she just wasn't cut out for that kind of love—maybe friendship was all she could manage?

"Don't say that. What do you mean anyway?"

"My last—only relationship ended in disaster. Oz cheated. He left."

"I hate to break it to you… no where did you say anything you did wrong." Aiden heard a deep sigh come from Willow.

"Obviously, if I hadn't been so much me then he wouldn't have done either thing… and that is why I am no good at love."

Willow waited for his response. Silence. She would not prompt him to respond. More silence. Was he asleep?

Willow felt the bed jerk violently. Aiden stood up and walked to the door to turn on the light. He was muttering under his breath and Willow couldn't make out a single word. The bright light flooded the room and left her blinking fiercely for a few seconds.

Aiden walked back to the bed and sat down beside her.

"Why did you turn the light on?"

"I wanted you to see my face when I gave you my opinion."

Willow wanted to ask him what opinion he would be offering but she realized doing so would be foolish when he was obviously just about to offer his opinion. She sat up and scooted her back against the headboard for support. Aiden slid himself a little closer to her. He rested his hands on her thighs.

"What do you think romantic love is?" Aiden knew it was far too late to be having this sort of a discussion but he couldn't imagine Willow having to go through another day thinking she lacked the ability to love.

"Huh?" Willow didn't really know how to answer that question. Something about Aiden's face prompted her to continue. He was serious. "Um. Caring for another… wanting them to be happy no matter what cost to you… doing little and big things to make them happy and to keep them safe… desiring them above all others… um… being proud of them… trusting them… Um… dunno. I guess that is it." Willow knew that was it.

"When this Oz…" Aiden paused. He couldn't even say the name without disgust. This man had hurt her. He turned his head to the side. "When he left, how did you feel?"

"Angry, and then I wanted him to be happy—even though, at the time, I wasn't very happy." Explaining herself was getting easier. Holding his gaze, as she spoke about this, was getting easier, as well.

"Willow, love is like a contract. You can bind it however you will--- with a ring… with words… with a promise. You loved him. He broke the contract—not you." He traced her lips with one finger applying only the tiniest amount of pressure. He knew she wanted to respond with a 'but…'

"I won't lie to you and say I will never hurt you or make you angry." Aiden looked her in the eyes. He knew he might as well lay everything on the line. Either she believed him or she didn't. Either she wanted his heart or she didn't. "I care for you. I want you happy. I want to keep you safe."

Willow turned her head to the right to escape his gaze. His face wore as much truth as Oz's face once held. This may have been how he felt at the moment, but what if?

"But Aiden, suppose you…"

"No Willow. No supposing. No imagining… No what if's… I am proud of you. I desire you above all others and I trust you to figure out how to trust and believe me." He repositioned himself against the headboard and looked into her face. She was afraid. Her lower lip trembled as if she were just about to cry. This hadn't been what he had wanted. He shifted and gathered held her close.

"Willow, don't cry—I mean—unless you are happy." Aiden would never understand women. There was no way he had said anything hurtful—were these tears of 'happiness'. He hoped so. He felt her arms go circle his body and she gave him a tight squeeze.

"I promise I will figure it out." Willow said the words in a whisper. It wasn't good enough for him.

"So you will figure out that you love me—as I love you?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean." She got the words out. Her voice felt strangled as if being gripped by uncertainty meant a physical manifestation.

"Uh huh. Right." Aiden knew he should shut up—but he wasn't good at half truths.

"So you are going to logic your brain into accepting that you care for me—even though just today you did a spell to keep me safe… you insisted I have dinner and you have kissed me time and time again with such desire and longing I am frankly aching to continue and…"

He felt her body jerk to the side. Willow shut him up with a kiss… a kiss so passionate he wasn't sure he had any free will left. Heat flared between them, white hot and intense. This was what he was talking about. Maybe she was fulfilling her promise, right then and there. He didn't care. He couldn't think.

"I am ready…" Willow squirmed a little in his arms. She maneuvered her legs until they wrapped tightly around his body. If he were so inclined he could take her against the wall.

She felt his kisses down the side of her neck and the bite as he jerked her shirt to expose her breasts. He pulled at it until it gaped widely open and slid the straps off her shoulders. He gently cupped one breast and rolled the nipple between his forefinger and thumb. Willow felt that she was dissolving into nerves and emotions. His fingers forced blood to rush through her body. She felt her heartbeat increase and her nipple harden. Her arousal pooled between her thighs.

'Is this spur of the moment or premeditated…" Aiden asked her. His voice was low and husky. He didn't know how he would react if she said spur of the moment. Did it even matter anymore? It had to matter.

Willow wasn't sure how to answer. "dunno…" This mustn't have been the right answer. His hand stilled on her breast.

He wouldn't accept anything other than the truth.

"I decided in a moment but I have been thinking about this all day." It was the truth. She had decided if she wanted to she could logic her way into accepting that she loved this man… but the reality was love had little to do with logic. Earlier when he had stepped through the gate she had known the truth. When she had heard he was missing she had been even more honest with herself. When he had returned she had tried to hide from the facts. In his presence she had sought to deny the truth. Denial was foolish.

She felt the bed shift a little. He was getting up. He was getting out of bed? She had told him the truth.

"Where are you going…"

"Getting the light—"

"Oh. I can do that." She sent a thought to the overhead lights and they switched off. Aiden was still halfway up. He was reaching towards the brown bag Dr. Beckett had given him. Had she been so clueless she had missed seeing the surprise unveiled? Willow moved towards him.

"Um. Do you have any…" He reached into the brown bag and pulled out a box of condoms.

"Oh." She wasn't sure if she wanted to be embarrassed or practical. Practicality won out. "What else is in there?"

Aiden gave her a half smile and reached in again. He pulled out a bottle of lubricant.

"I don't think I'll need that." She moved on her knees closer to Aiden and opened the box. He set the lubricant back on the table and reached to turn off the bedside light.

"I didn't think so either."