Don't Let Your Guard Down
chapter 10

Apparently a lot of you weren't happy with the way I ended the last chapter... haha. So here it is: Where James is, how Lily reacts, and a little tension between the Mauraders and the three girls.

D-didn't have any part in coming up with the Harry Potter plot/characters
I- I wish I was the famous JK Rowling, but I'm not
S- sorry if you were confused about whether I was JK Rowling or not
C- can't take credit for most of the characters
L-looks like you'll have to resort to reading my stories til the 7th Harry Potter book is out
A- are you annoyed by this disclaimer yet?
I- isn't it about time you skipped this part and went straight to reading my story?
M-maybe you should just read previous disclaimers...its a lot faster
E-everyone understand that only the plot and unrecognizable characters belong to me?
R- right, so main point: i'm not JK Rowling.

Now...on to the story!

If you recall, the last chapter stopped here:

They all ate in silence until Sirius got an owl a few minutes later.

"Who's it from?" Remus asked.

"James," Sirius said. He read the letter as everyone else went back to eating. Sirius gasped and looked up with an astonished look on his face. "He's gone."

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"What?" The friends burst out.

"He left for winter break," Sirius said, skimming the letter again.

"I thought he was going to stay here," Kacie said.

"He was," Sirius said, swatting at the owl to leave."Hey! Give me my bacon back!"

"Black, you're talking to an owl," Gigi said.

"And there's plenty more bacon," Remus said.

Sirius pouted. "But I wanted that piece."

"Can we get back to James?" Remus asked impatiently.

"Can we get my bacon back from that insane bird?" Sirius asked.

"Doesthe lettersay whyJames left?" Peter questioned.

Sirius shook his head. "He just says that he had to go home for winter break and he's not sure if he'll be back when classes start up again."

"Why?" Gigi questioned.

Lily couldn't take it anymore. She pushed her plate forward angrily, got up from the table in a hurry, and stomped out of the Great Hall.

"What's up with her?" Remus asked.

"Must be the weird side effects of Lily drinking alcohol for the first time," Gigi noted.

Sirius looked at Lily stomp out, and he too got up to leave.

"Hey! Where ya going?" Remus called out.

"I'll be right back," Sirius called out. He handed them all the letter toread and then ran to catch up with Lily. "Lily?"

"Leave me alone," Lily snapped.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lily barked.

"Lily…" Sirius warned.

"I'm trying real hard not to read too much into this situation," Lily said but then she sighed. "But it's not really working."

"What situation?"

"James leaving," Lily said with a sigh.

"Wait…you think he left because of you?" Sirius asked.

Lily gave him a "duh" look.

"James didn't leave because of you Lily," Sirius said.

"Oh yeah?" Lily asked. "How many other times did he run away right after he had sex with a girl? Oh wait, that's right, never!'

"Lily, he didn't wake up and think 'hmm, perhaps I'll go home so I can get away from Lily,'" Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh really?" Lily asked. "Did he list a reason for going home?"

"Well, erm…no," Sirius said.

"If there was any other reason besides the fact that he wanted to get away from me, don't you think he would have told you?" Lily asked.

"Lily, something probably came up," Sirius said.

"Oh stop being so ignorant Sirius," Lily snapped.

"Come on Lily," Sirius said. "Don't be so hostile, you ju-"

"You're a guy, you wouldn't understand," Lily said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that having sex to guys is no big deal," Lily said. "You'll do it anywhere, with anyone, at anytime."

"Excuse me?"

"Especially you and James! It's like you have a game going. Who can be the biggest asshole and get the most girls in bed with them before Hogwarts ends," Lily snapped.

Sirius's mouth dropped wide open. "I cannot believe you just said that."

"Oh give it up Sirius, it's true," Lily said. "I bet you can't even tell me the name of the girl you last slept with."

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but then realized she was right. "Well…she…we…okay, that is so not the point!"

"Face it, James slept with me to fulfill some dream of his and then he left so he didn't have to face me," Lily said. "He probably thought I was too drunk to remember anyway."

"Lily, you honestly can't think tha-"

"You know, I blame you."

"Me? What the hell did I do?" Sirius asked.

"You forced me to talk to him. You forced me to try and be nice," Lily said.

"Yes, but I didn't force you into bed with him!" Sirius cried out.

"You tried to get me to be nice to him," Lily explained. "You tried to get me to be nice to a guy who only thinks about sex. What the hell did you think would happen?"

"I thought you'd have a nice chat, maybe laugh, and then move on with your lives!" Sirius shouted.

"Well obviously you were dead wrong!" Lily screamed.

"I cannot believe you are blaming this on me!" Sirius cried out.

"I'm blaming it on you because it's all your fault!" Lily exclaimed.

"Why don't you just admit that maybe it's your fault!" Sirius shouted. "You're the one who fuckin' slept with him!"

"Go to hell!" Lily burst out.

"Right back at ya!" Sirius shouted and then stomped up to the owlery.

Lily sat in her bed sobbing, trying hard not to think about her fight with Sirius, and especially trying not to think about James. Christmas was two days away and it looked like this was going to be her worst Christmas ever.

"Lily?" a voice asked, coming into the room.

Lily sniffled and looked up as Gigi entered the room. "Hey Gi."

"What's wrong?" Gigi asked, rushing to Gigi's side.

"You wouldn't understand," Lily said.

Gigi sighed and handed Lily a tissue. "Try me."

Lily wiped her tears away and tried smiling. "It doesn't matter. Let's go have some fun."

"Lily, you don't look in the mood to have fun," Gigi said.

"Come on," Lily said. "It's snowing. Let's go have a snowball fight, build a snowman, drink hot chocolate. We don't have classes, this is precious 'fun' time."

"Okay…but I'm afraid your tears will melt our snowman," Gigi said.

Lily paused. "Okay, no building a snowman." Gigi laughed at Lily's comment.

They started walking out before Gigi stopped. "Not even a hint about what's wrong?"

"Oh look, the snow is melting!" Lily cried out, linking arms with Gigi and pulling her along.

"Hey! No hitting the face, that's not f-" Gigi started before she got hit in the face with a snowball. "And apparently whatever I say doesn't matter."

"Sissy!" Kacie cried out.

"Hey!" Gigi exclaimed. "No name calling!"

"Scardy-cat!" Kacie exclaimed.

"…and still not listening to me," Gigi said. The three girls laughed and came together, sitting down on the ground.

Lily conjured up some hot chocolate and passed the mug around. "Do you think th-"

"GERANIMO!" a voice cried out and hit all three girls with a snowball. The three girls turned around to see Remus standing there with a sheepish grin. "Um…oops?"

"Oh you are so dead Remus Lupin!" Kacie cried out and started running after him. Lily and Gigi laughed as they gathered snowballs to pelt at Remus.

"Hey, no fair!" Remus cried out. "Three against one!"

"You should have thought about that before you threw a snowball at us," Gigi said with a grin. "Where are your friends? Your partners in crime?"

"Obviously fighting crime without me," Remus said. The girls laughed and Lily handed the mug of hot chocolate to Remus. "So, are you guys ready for Christmas?"

"It's the best time of year," Kacie said with a smile.

"Well you've never done Christmas Marauder style," Remus said with a smile.

"And we're not planning on doing so this year either," Lily interrupted.

"Huh?" Gigi and Kacie asked.

"Oh come on. Potter isn't here, Gi hates Sirius," Lily said with a shrug. "Seems easier to celebrate the way we always do."

"Opening presents by ourselves and pigging out on eggnog and fruitcake?" Gigi asked. "I'd rather take my chances with Black."

"Well I don't want to take my chances," Lily snapped and then stormed off.

The other three exchanged glances and none of them knew what to say. "Okay new suggestion. Marauder Christmas without her?" Remus brought up.

"She's our best friend!" Gigi exclaimed.

"One Christmas with us and you'll never go back," Remus joked.

James sat at his desk looking at the blank piece of parchment. Well, blank isn't completely correct. He had two words written down, "Dear Lily." He picked up another piece of crumpled parchment and started throwing it up in the air and catching it.

James jerked his head up when there was a knock at the door. "It's open," he mumbled. He looked up to see his older cousin standing there. "Hi Kellie."

Kellie looked James up and down. "Okay, who's the girl?"

James practically choked on air. "Um…excuse me?"

"Empty piece of parchment, stuck up here for two hours, crumpled pieces of paper all around," Kellie said with a shrug. "I'm no idiot, I know it's about a girl."

"It's not a girl," James insisted.

"Oh…so it's a boy?" Kellie joked.

"It's a girl," James quickly said making Kellie laugh.

"So who is she?"

"I don't feel comfortable talking to you about this," James muttered.

"Well, I'm not leaving," Kellie confirmed. "I bet you wouldn't feel so comfortable with me never leaving your room either."

James paused and thought about his options. "Her name is Lily and she hates me."

"I thought every girl at that school liked you," Kellie noted.

"Not this one," James mumbled. "But she got really drunk and I brought her back to her room and-"

"Please tell me you didn't take advantage of her," Kellie begged.

"No, no! Of course not," James exclaimed and then paused. "Well…maybe a little."

"James Potter!"

"But no, no!" James exclaimed.

"Okay, my head is spinning," Kellie joked.

"She was drunk, yes, but she wasn't that drunk. She remembers everything...okay, most things…about that night," James said. "And one thing let to another and…" James trailed off.

"And?"

"You're twenty-four Kel, I think you know what I'm talking about," James said.

"You're seventeen!" Kellie cried out.

"Oh I've been doing it since I was fifteen," James said with a shrug.

Kellie gasped. "And how many girls have you gotten pregnant?"

"Oh shut up," James said, throwing a piece of parchment at her.

"So what's so different about this one?" Kellie asked.

"I'm not sure," James said with a sigh. "She's just…different. She's smart, and funny, and witty, and is actually better at playing pranks than I am, and she's Head Girl with me, and she's just…perfect."

"Does she know that?"

James pointed to the empty parchment. "She will soon."

Kellie looked over at it. "So far it looks to me like all she'll know is that her name is Lily."

"Okay you: out," James said, pointing to the door. Kellie laughed but didn't get up. James sighed and walked over to her. He plopped down on his bed facing the ceiling. "The thing is…she was drunk. So maybe she's different to me, but to her it could have been a drunken mistake. So she could be repeating over and over to herself that it was stupid and that she hates me."

"I'm sure that isn't true," Kellie said, tossing a piece of crumpled piece of paperto James.

"I hate you!" Lily cried out, throwing James's pillow across the room. "I was so right about you!" Lily flung a picture of James with his three best friends across the room.

"I don't think they appreciate that," a voice said from the entrance of James's room. Lily whirled around and sighed.

"We have got to get a new password," Lily mumbled.

"So, why do we hate James?" Gigi asked.

"None of your business," Lily snapped.

"Lily, come on," Gigi begged. "I'm your best friend."

"You wouldn't understand," Lily said.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong and I'll be the judge of whether or not I understand."

Lily sighed and sat down on James's bed. "I was drunk, James and I slept together, he got what he wanted, he went home so he wouldn't have to face me."

Gigi looked stunned and then burst out laughing.

"Okay, this is so not a laughing matter," Lily said angrily.

"Lily, have I ever told you the story of Black and I?" Gigi asked.

"There's a story?"

"We got drunk, we slept together, he had sex with another girl the next morning," Gigi said.

Lily was silent. "You should make that story into a children's book."

"Do children know what sex is?"

"I was being sarcastic Gi," Lily said.

"I wasn't," Gigi said with a laugh. "So don't tell me that I don't know the asshole side of the Marauders."

"Black really did that?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, but hey, it doesn't matter now," Gigi said with a shrug. "I'm completely fine hating him forever."

"Does he know why you hate him?"

"Yeah," Gigi said. "But do not tell him I told you that story. I don't want him thinking it was a big deal or anything."

"We aren't talking anyway," Lily said with a shrug.

"You aren't?" Gigi exclaimed.

"Nope…I finally see why you hate him so much," Lily muttered. Lily put her head into Gigi's lap and the tears started falling. "Everything's so screwed up."

"Sex does that," Gigi muttered, stroking Lily's hair.

"I was fine with hating Potter and being friends with Sirius," Lily said, wiping her tears away. "But then Potter had to go home to avoid me and Sirius had to walk in while I was wrapped up in sheets."

"Lily, I don't think James-"

"If you say you don't think he went home to avoid me, I will kill you."

"-wants tears to get all over his bed," Gigi ended.

Lily rolled her eyes. "He did go home because of me. He and Sirius spend every Christmas together and he specifically told me he wasn't going home. He told me he was going to stay here for Christmas. Then, early in the morning he suddenly changes his mind? The same morning after we have sex? There's no other explanation."

"There are plenty of other explanations," Gigi said. "Like maybe he missed his parents, or someone was in trouble, or he really missed his mom's eggnog, or-" she was cut off when Lily gave her a look. "Well I didn't say there were plenty of logical explanations."

Lily put her head into Gigi's lap and sighed as Gigi started stroking Lily's hair. "I just want to take it all back."

"Don't say that," Gigi said sternly. "You don't want to live life regretting this moment."

"It's too late," Lily mumbled. "I already regret it."

Lily walked into the Great Hall the next morning and glanced around for anyone to sit with. She narrowed her eyes and glared at Sirius as she walked by him and went to the other side of the table, sitting down by herself.

Remus saw this happening and turned to Sirius. "Tell me this, do you and Kacie still get along?"

Sirius shook his head to get his anger for Lily out of his head. "Hmm?"

"What's up with you and Lily?"

"Basically I see in her what James has seen in her all these years," Sirius said in disgust.

"You're in love with her too?" Remus teased. Sirius gave him a stern look and gobbled down some eggs. Remus sighed. "What are you two fighting about?"

Sirius opened his mouth to tell the story and then realized that Remus didn't know that James and Lily had sex. "Oh, well…you know," Sirius said with a shrug, looking down intensely at his bacon.

"No actually, I don't know," Remus said.

"Oh you don't?" Sirius asked. "That's too bad." Sirius didn't say anything further as he looked down and starting eating some bacon.

"Why don't you enlighten us?" Peter cut in.

"Remember how Lily and I never really used to get along in the past six years?" Sirius asked. Remus and Peter nodded. "It has nothing to do with that." Sirius took another bite of his bacon, and got up from the table.

Remus turned to Peter. "Was that supposed to be helpful?"

Peter shrugged. "I don't understand why Padfoot wouldn't tell us unless…" Peter trailed off.

"Unless he would be telling someone else's secret," Remus finished. "Perhaps Lily's secret."

"Yeah, but-"

"Gigi!" Remus called out, stopping Gigi before she walked down to sit beside Lily.

"Yeah?" Gigi asked, picking up Sirius's unfinished piece of bacon and stuffing it in her mouth.

"Hear any good secrets lately?" Remus asked with a smirk.

"I just heard that Eloise Smidgen cheated on Frankie," Gigi said with a shrug.

"She did?" Peter exclaimed."But they were so cute together!"

Remus glared at him and then looked back at Gigi. "How about something juicier…possibly something to do with Lily."

Gigi stopped mid-bite and slowly turned to Remus. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Remus grinned, knowing full well that he was right on track. "Yes you do."

"How did you…what did you…when did you…" Gigi couldn't even get a full sentence out.

"Sirius said that he-" Peter started.

"Black," Gigi said, narrowing her eyebrows at the mention of Sirius's name. "I'll be right back." Gigi threw the piece of bacon down, and practically ran out of the room.

"Sirius Black!" Gigi screamed as she saw Sirius walking up the stairs.

"I love it when a girl screams out my name," Sirius said smugly, walking back down the stairs. "Yes dear?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gigi asked.

"Hmm, that's not usually what comes next," Sirius said."Do you want the list?"

"I know you and Lily aren't speaking and you're mad at each other but that gives you no right to blab her secret!" Gigi hissed.

"Blab what secret?" Sirius asked.

"About her and James," Gigi mumbled, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

"I didn't blab that secret," Sirius said.

"Well tell me, if you didn't blab the secret, how does Remus know?" Gigi demanded to know.

Sirius thought about it and then gave a slight smile. "He knows what everyone else knows and probably came to his own conclusions."

"Which is?" Gigi asked, obviously getting impatient.

"Oh c'mon Giliba," Sirius said. "They left the party together, they had the Head quarters all to themselves, and they had both been drinking. I'm sure by now, half the school is making up rumors about what happened with James and Lily."

"I told you not to pressure them to be friends!" Gigi exclaimed. "Now Lily is regretting what happened, James is running away from her, and it's all your damn fault!"

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Sirius exclaimed. "Those two are practically the same person, they should be able to get along! I just wanted them to be able to share a friendly conversation. In no way did I push them to have sex together!"

"Yes you did!" Gigi insisted. "You might as well have been the one giving them the condoms!"

"You think I like this!" Sirius cried out. "I want my best friend to come back to Hogwarts! I want Lily to stop being angry at me for something I didn't do! Hell, why I'm at it, I want you and I to be able to get along!"

"Why?" Gigi demanded to know. "So you can have sex with me and run away just like your cowardly best friend did? Oh wait…been there done that. But instead of running away from Hogwarts, you chose to run into the arms of another girl." Gigi turned on her heels and stomped out.

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Review to find out if James comes back anytime soon! And what about Lily and Sirius...will they ever make up? Review to find out!