Don't Let Your Guard Down
chapter 12

i am sooooooo sorry it's taken me awhile to put up another chapter. i've just been so busy and haven't had much time. But here it is, a week after the last chapter was posted (which in reality, isn't that long...)

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling blah blah I didn't write Harry Potter etc etc. you get the jist.

This is where we left off:
"Hey guys…miss me?" James asked, walking over to the Mauraders.

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"Uh oh," Kacie muttered under her breath.

"What?" Gigi asked, looking up from her Divinations essay.

Lily noticed James walking over to the guys and she spilled her ink all over her DADA book. Kacie and Gigi both turned to see Lily's reaction. Lily just stared at him, every part of her body frozen.

"Lily?" Gigi whispered after several seconds.

Lily shook her head to get her out of her trance and started gathering her stuff, "What the hell is he doing back?" Lily hissed.

"Where are you going?" Gigi asked.

"Far away from him," Lily mumbled, getting up and stomping off.

James turned to see Lily storming out. "What's wrong with her?"

Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged looks. "Girl problems?" Sirius squeaked.

James gave him a strange look, just seconds away from following Lily. "Okay..."

"Dude, where the hell have you been these past few weeks?" Remus asked.

James tensed up. "Family stuff." The other three looked at him to elaborate.

"Um…care to explain?" Peter asked.

"No," James said. "So, what's been going on around here?"

"Don't ask," Remus muttered.

James turned to look at the other two. "Why not?"

"It's been argument after argument around here," Sirius noted.

"It's mostly Padfoot's fault," Remus contested.

"Is not!"

"Oh really? Why is Lily mad? Why does Gigi hate you? Why was Kacie angry with you?" Remus asked.

"Why is Lily mad? Why does Gigi hate you? And Kacie was angry with you?" James asked, glancing over at the portrait hole and still wondering if he should go after Lily.

Sirius glanced over at Remus and Peter and then back to James. "We kind of know what happened between you and Lily."

James grew stiff. "Oh…she told you?"

"Sort of," Sirius said.

"Oh," was all James could think of to say.

Sirius glanced at Remus and Peter and then back up at James. "Is that the reason you left?"

James stared blankly at his friends. "You think I left Hogwarts because of Lily?"

It was silent for a little bit. "That's what she thinks," Remus finally said.

"If she isn't the reason you left, why don't you tell us the real reason?" Peter suggested.

"I gotta go find Lily," James said quickly and then darted out of the commons room.

Sirius turned to Remus. "Would it be wrong to follow him?"

"Yes," Remus determined.

"And it would be wrong to listen to the conversation between him and Lily?"

"Yes," Remus repeated.

"But that's not gonna stop you?" Sirius asked.

"Nope," Remus said, quickly getting up and scurrying after James, Sirius and Peter closely behind. Kacie and Gigi looked up, gathered their stuff, and quickly ran after the boys.

James scurried out of the portrait hole, ran down the stairs, and jogged to his commons room.

He entered the room and there sat Lily, glaring back at him. "You just had to come back huh?" Lily sneered.

James gulped, already worried about how this was going to go. "You don't know all the facts. So don't say something you'll regret," James said slowly.

"I wish you were never born!" Lily cried out.

"Something like that," James muttered. James took a deep breath and started talking, "I didn't leave because of you. I had a family emergency to attend to."

"And you just happened to leave the morning after we...well you know," Lily scorned.

"Had sex?"

Lily glared at him.

"Just making sure we're talking about the same thing," James said.

"Family thing huh? Nice excuse Potter," Lily spat out.

James cringed at the sound of his last name. "Lily, that night wasn't a one night stand kind of thing. At least, I don't want it to be. I'm telling you, I did not leave Hogwarts because of you. You have to believe me."

"Oh yeah, because you're such an honest person," Lily snapped. "Tell me Potter, why did you leave?"

James looked down at his feet. "I already told you, it was a family thing."

"If you're gonna lie, you could at least come up with a better excuse," Lily said.

"It's not an excuse," James insisted.

"If it's not an excuse then why don't you just tell me why the hell you were gone for three weeks," Lily exclaimed.

"Because it's none of your business!" James cried out.

"Oh this is good," Lily laughed out loud. "You're yelling at me when I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened to you. And clearly it wasn't that you were eaten alive by monsters...unforunately."

James looked down at his feet. "I would tell you if I could," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Lily shook her head in anger. "Fine, but do me a favor and stay away from me these next few months."

"Lily-" James pleaded.

"Seriously Potter," Lily said, getting up from the couch. "Did you really think that everything would be okay between us after you completely use me? I thought you were smarter than that."

"Is that all you think of me as?" James cried out, starting to get frustrated. "Do you honestly think that I'm out to use every girl at Hogwarts? I may have a reputation as a date 'em and drop 'em kind of guy, but it's different with you. I actually care for you an-"

"Does a guy who cares for me kiss me and then go out with another girl the next day? Does he pull pranks on me and talk about me behind me back? Does he have sex with me and then leaves the very next morning? I really think you need to look up 'care' in the dictionary."

"You have your own opinion about me and you won't even listen to me!" James exclaimed.

"There's no need to listen to you!" Lily burst out. "I've given you about a hundred chances and you screw up every time!"

"Lily, I've been an idiot in the past but-"

"You're still an idiot…and a player and an asshole, and none of that will ever change," Lily said heartlessly.

James was desperate to get Lily to hear him out. "Lily, you have to believe me."

"Why?" Lily cried out. "Why should I believe the one guy I will never trust again?"

James threw his hands up in frustration. "You have had the same opinion about me since day one and no matter what I do, you won't change your mind about me! So don't give me this bullshit about how you've given me a hundred chances because that is sooo untrue."

Lily stood up, shaking with anger. "I cannot believe you are blaming this whole thing on me. In every situation between us, you have been the asshole so don't you dare yell at me Potter!"

"Oh but it's okay if you're yelling at me?" James shouted.

"How about we don't yell at all?" Lily screamed. "How about we just don't fucking talk to each other ever again!"

"That's the best thing you've said all day!" James cried out.

"Just stay the hell away from me and this will be the best seventh year ever!" Lily burst out, storming off to her room.

"There's no way in hell I'd go near you anyway!" James shouted, stomping into his bedroom.

From outside the entrance, the five others exchanged glances. "This can't be good," Sirius muttered after several seconds of silence.

"I still don't understand how levitating a feather could be harder than levitating a bowling ball," Gigi complained a few nights ago. The girls were sprawled out in Lily's common room doing homework.

"It's depends on your mindset," Lily said with a shrug.

"You're not helping," Gigi said. "If there's a test question asking why levitating a bowling ball is actually quite easy, I don't think the professor will accept 'it depends on the mindset' as an answer."

"If you write it down, he'll have to accept it," Lily insisted and then paused. "But good luck passing with that answer."

Gigi groaned and closed her book. She turned to Kacie. "Is it time for food yet?"

Kacie looked up at Gigi with a blank stare. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because Lily isn't coming up with good answers today."

"Oh," Kacie said and then shrugged. "Well, I'm not very hungry."

Gigi glared at her. "Your answers aren't very good either."

The girls laughed and Gigi went to throwing her quill in the air and catching it. Lily lay down on the couch with her DADA book and Kacie went to doodling on her parchment.

Gigi looked nervously at Lily and then opened her mouth, "How are you and James doing?"

Lily didn't even say anything, she just glared at Gigi. Gigi shrugged, "I guess that was a stupid question."

"I don't wanna talk about it," Lily muttered.

"You can't honestly tell me that you think he left Hogwarts because of you," Kacie said, rolling up her parchment and sitting up in the chair.

Lily groaned at her persistence. "I don't know what to think," Lily said. "But he won't tell anybody why he left. Don't you think that's a bit odd?"

"It is strange but there could be many different reasons for that," Gigi said with a shrug. "His parents are aurors. It could have had something to do with that and you know that auror stuff is top secret."

"Fine, but he didn't have to come back and start yelling at me," Lily said. "I had every right to be upset but he wasn't helping at all. He didn't explain why he was gone, he didn't even act like he cared about what happened between the two of us, and he blamed me for why we can't get along. I'll be damned if I even ever look in his direction again."

"I can't take this," Kacie whined turning to Gigi and Lily. "Gi, you hate Sirius. And Lils, you hate James. We should be able to get along with the guys."

"To be fair, Lily hates Sirius too," Gigi said.

Kacie glared at her.

"When one of them has sex with you and then ignores you the next day, perhaps you'll understand why we're mad," Gigi said stubbornly.

"I'm not stupid enough to get into that kind of situation with any of them," Kacie murmured.

"Clearly you got the brains out of us three," Lily teased.

"Yeah, but she-" Gigi started but James walked in at that time.

Gigi and Kacie looked from Lily to James and both said nervously, "Hi."

James just nodded in their direction and went into his room. Lily looked down at her book and acted like she was concentrating hard on the words.

"Lily," Gigi said calmly but Lily didn't respond.

"Lily," Kacie repeated but Lily still acted like she was into her book.

"Lily, we know you're not reading," Gigi said.

Lily looked up. "Why do you say that?"

"Because the book is upside down," Gigi responded.

Lily looked down and then looked at her friends sheepishly. "I can read upside down."

Gigi and Kace gave her a look. Lily sighed and turned the book the right way.

"So that's how it's gonna be from now on, huh?" Kacie asked. "Awkward silences, avoiding eye contact, ignoring each other?"

"The easiest way to sum it up is to say that Potter and I will not be acknowledging each other at all for the next five months," Lily said.

"Don't worry Kace," Gigi said. "Sirius and I will be acknowledging each other." Gigi paused. "We'll just acknowledge each other by yelling mean things."

"Oh that's comforting," Kacie said, rolling her eyes.

"Can we please stop talking about it?" James insisted as the four boys were walking to Transfiguration.

"It just doesn't make sense," Sirius said.

"It's nothing for you to worry about," James said while rolling his eyes.

"I just don't understand," Sirius said.

James groaned. "Who cares why the Gryffindor colors are red and gold?"

"I care!" Sirius exclaimed. "Red is the one color I cannot wear. It looks horrible on me."

"You do realize that we've been talking about this for a good five minutes right?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, there are so many other things we could be talking about that I wouldn't mind wasting my breath on," James noted.

"Like what's going on with you and Lily?" Sirius asked.

James stopped for a second. "So…red looks bad on you huh?"

The boys laughed and kept walking. There was awkward silence until Remus decided to bring up the forbidden subject, "So how are you and Lily?"

"That depends," James said, as he starting walking a little faster.

"On what?"

"On how well roadkill is," James said, walking even faster.

The other three rushed to catch up with James. "So you think this is it?" Peter asked.

"What do you mean?" James asked, sighing as he realized he couldn't get away from his friends.

"Do you think you guys will ever talk again?" Remus asked.

"Does roadkill talk?" James asked.

Remus ignored James's comment. "You two have overcome every argument you've been through. You'll get through this too…right?"

James paused to think about it. "I don't think so." And then he kept on walking.

It was quiet for a few seconds. "But you love her, right?" Sirius asked.

James turned his head to stare at Sirius in awe and ended up walking face first into a pole. While rubbing his head, he turned to Sirius. "Excuse me?"

"Don't you?" Sirius asked.

"Of course not!" James spat out.

"But you like her, right?" Sirius asked.

"Is it possible to like a stubborn stuck-up bitch?" James asked smugly.

"Oh come on," Remus urged. "It's you and Lily. You two always argue, then make up and become friends, and then argue again."

"This wasn't just any argument," James pointed out. "She absolutely hates my guts. She thinks I slept with her and then fled so I didn't have to see her again. And when I tried to explain it to her, she wouldn't change her mind about me. She's had the same opinion about me since day one and no matter what I do, she won't listen to me. Why would anyone in their right mind want a friend like that?"

It was silent as the boys thought about it. "Because it's Lily," Remus finally answered.

James sighed and walked into the Transfiguration room. The other three exchanged looks and then followed him. "You know what would solve all of this?" Sirius asked, sitting himself down beside James.

James sighed and banged his head against the table, obviously wishing the conversation was over. "What?" he groaned.

"Tell us where the hell you went these past three weeks."

James picked his head up. "That's it, this conversation is over. Evans and I will not be friends again and we're done talking about it."

The four of them looked around and decided not to push it. James sighed with relief but Remus spoke up, "Okay, but there's still one more important question."

James tried hard not to groan. "What?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Why are Gryffindor colors red and gold?"

"Remind me again why we're hanging out outside when it's freezing cold?" Kacie asked, leaning up against a tree.

"Because it's our tree," Remus said with a shrug.

"Our tree?" Peter asked. "Since when?"

Remus paused. "Since ten minutes ago."

Sirius rolled his eyes at the joke and starting forming a snowball in his hands. When it was ready, he threw it at Kacie. "Hey!" she cried out, wiping off her robes.

"I feel like there's so much to do considering there's only a few months left of our seventh year but yet, we're sitting out here just lounging around," Sirius noted.

"There's not that much to do," Kacie noted. "We just have to pass our classes, do well on the NEWTs, decide what we want to do when we leave Hogwarts, and graduate." She paused. "Somehow that seemed like a lot less in my head."

"Don't forget to add getting James and Lily talking again to that list," Remus noted.

"What the hell is with those two?" Peter asked with a sigh.

It was quiet for a moment. "I don't blame Lily for hating James," Kacie said after awhile.

"Why?" the three boys asked.

"Because he's an asshole," she stated simply.

"Well that explains it," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"This is Lily we're talking about," Kacie said. "The commitment type, the girl who doesn't like to date casually, the innocent girl. And then James comes along, they have sex, and then he disappears. I'm surprised she hasn't bitten his head off."

"Well I think that's physically impossible," Remus mentioned.

"With the way Lily's feeling, she could do a lot worse to him," Kacie said and then she turned to Sirius. "But enough about Lils and James. What about you and Gigi?"

"What about Giliba and I? We've hated each other for a year…what else is there to say?"

"I think it's pretty hypocritical of you to say that James and Lily should talk again but yet you have no intention of ever making up with Gi," Kacie said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"That's her problem," Sirius explained, leaning back against the tree.

"Oh really?" Kacie asked nastily. "It's her problem that you slept with another girl not twenty-four hours after being with her?"

Sirius opened his mouth to protest but decided not to protest. "I'm glad you see it my way."

Kacie just rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Remus looked from Kacie to Sirius and then sighed. "Do you remember back to first year when we all liked each other and got along?"

"Lily thought James was a stuck-up, egotistical asshole," Peter noted.

"And I thought Lily was way too perfect," Sirius added.

"And I thought you were too quiet, Sirius was too loud, James was too obnoxious, and Peter let you guys walk all over him," Kacie pointed out.

Remus paused. "So remember back to when we were three years old and we were forced to get along with whoever was put in front of us?"

"Unless they took my teddy bear," Sirius said. Everyone stared at him. "It happened once!"

"And did they hit you over the head with it?" Remus asked. "Because that would explain a lot…"

Sirius got up from the ground. "Well, I gotta go now."

"Where ya going?"

"I've got a date," Sirius called over his shoulder.

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Since when does that boy not have a date?"

"Question…" Kacie said. "What exactly is a 'date' to Si?"

"Making out in a broom closest," Remus answered.

"Sex," Peter responded.

Kacie paused. "I kind of wish I didn't ask."

James couldn't concentrate on his work. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes weren't following the words in the book. He just stared into space, trying hard not to glance over at the picture of his family on his nightstand.

Instead, he forced himself to look at the picture of the Marauders in their fifth year. It was freezing outside, and for some reason Sirius thought it would be a good idea to see who could last the longest outside in just boxers. It was nearly midnight and they had all been out there for almost three hours. Little did they know, Gigi saw them outside and decided that a picture of them turning blue was a perfect photo opportunity.

"Hey buddy," Sirius said, walking into the room.

James shook his head to get out of his trance and looked up at the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently when a girl tells you she'll meet you at 5, she means 6," Sirius said with a shrug.

James rolled his eyes and laughed. "You'd think that after the hundreds of girls you've been with, you would have learned that little fact."

"Maybe I'll get it right the next time," Sirius said, sitting down on James's bed. "So, why are you doing work?" Sirius glanced down at the empty piece of parchment. "Or not doing work I should say."

James grinned. "I'm a little behind since I missed a week of classes."

"Well I can help you," Sirius offered.

"I want to do well Padfoot," James noted.

"You didn't let me finish my sentence," Sirius said. "I can help you…by getting Remus to help you."

James laughed. "Thanks. But Remus isn't in this class with me."

"Well, who is?"

"A few Slytherins, some Ravenclaw Quidditch players, Lily," James said with a shrug.

Sirius thought about it. "So which Slytherin should we get to help you?"

James laughed again. "It's okay, I'll be fine."

"So…how's that Lily thing going?" Sirius asked.

"The whole not talking to her, not ever going to talk to her thing?"

"Yeah, that thing."

"It's going pretty well," James assured.

"Well, we-" Sirius started but heard stomping footsteps out in the Head Commons Room. "Speaking of witches," Sirius muttered.

"We weren't speaking of witches," James said.

"Did I say witches?" Sirius asked. "I mean bitches."

James rolled his eyes and walked down to the commons room. "Looks like she's not alone."

Sirius groaned. "Giliba?"

"Oh yeah," James said.

"Double Trouble," Sirius mumbled. He turned to James and whispered, "Did you know that the whole school is talking about you and Evans."

"How so?"

"Apparently people are placing bets on what happened between you two over Christmas break, whether you two will ever get together or my personal favorite, how long it will be until you guys talk again."

James groaned. "Don't people in this school have anything better to do than to meddle into my personal life?"

"Seriously, people really need to put their time and attention into something else," Sirius said. "Oh, but if you and Lily could start talking by next month that would be great."

James looked at him. "You're betting on me?"

"Technically its a bet on you and Lily."

"How much did you bet on us?"

Sirius gasped. "I was just kidding!" Sirius looked at him with a hurt face. "I am shocked at you. How can you think that I would bet on the life of my best friend?"

"How much?"

"Only ten galleons," Sirius said with a shrug and then turned his attention to the girls.

"Classes are killing me Gi," Lily groaned, plopping down on the couch.

"And I bet your lack of a social life isn't helping much either, huh?" Gigi said.

Lily sat up and stared at her. "Why? Why? What did I do to you?"

Gigi shrugged. "I'm just trying to help."

"And making me feel miserable is helping how…?"

Gigi shrugged. "I'm trying to make myself feel better. I feel that if I compare my life to yours, I should be happier."

"And how's that working out for ya?"

Gigi leaned back on the couch. "I'm sitting here talking about classes with you. How do you think it's working out for me?"

Lily laughed and threw her books onto the table. "Well, here's something that should cheer you up."

"What's that?"

"At least you don't have a Head meeting with the guy you hate most in the world."

"Hmm…that does cheer me up a little," Gigi said.

"How I'm going to talk to the prefects when all I really want to do is throw Potter out a window is beyond me," Lily said.

"And how you're going to-" Gigi started until she saw James and Sirius appear from the stairs. "And my day just keeps getting worse," she muttered.

"Don't mind us," Sirius said.

"If you kept walking, we wouldn't have to," Lily mumbled.

"Isn't there some professor you have to kiss up to?" Sirius snapped.

"Isn't there some poor Slytherin you have to torture?" Lily sneered.

"Isn't there some extra credit work you have to do?"

"Isn't there some girl you have to rape?" Lily cried out.

Sirius looked at the clock. "Actually…yes." And with that, he was gone.

"Remind me to buy that girl an 'I'm sorry' card," Lily murmured to Gigi. She looked up and saw James standing there. "Is there a reason you're still here?"

"It's my Commons Room too," James burst out.

"How bout you enjoy it at another time?" Lily snapped.

"You really thought I was going to stay? Why I'd want to stay in the same room with you is beyond me," James sneered.

"Then get the hell out," Lily burst out.

James gave her a malicious look and sauntered off. Lily crouched down in her seat. "I can't keep doing this Gi."

"Do what exactly?"

"Every time I see him I want to kill him but I hate that we're not talking and that we can't get along," Lily explained.

"So basically you hate it when you're around him but you also hate it when you're not around him," Gigi said.

Lily stared off into the distance and didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. Both Gigi and Lily knew that Gigi was right.

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okay, i swear that you will find out the real reason James left in the next chapter. but you have to review if you want me to post it sooner rather than later!