Disclaimer: I own nothing in this marvelous universe, it all belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.
A/N: In order to ensure a few of my readers' sanity (not to mention my own ::sheepish smile:: ), I am doing what is probably a very bad idea, and taking a quick break from my college projects to post this chapter.
I am also aware that what takes place below may or may not be how you envisage certain characters, but please humor me and enjoy! If you'd like, also R&R!
Reviewers: All 15 of you, thank you! Reviews always bring a smile to my face.
'Sindarin (Elvish)'
"Westron (Common Speech)"
Vala Speech
/Personal Thoughts/
.:A Man Called Hope:.
By Sentimental Star
Chapter II: Finding Hope
(Elsewhere, Valimar)
Now you see why I ask this of you, an infinitely fair woman dressed in kirtle of grey appealed to the equally fair man beside her. Though indeed, neither was truly man or woman, but ethereal creatures that were respectively female and male.
The male of the pair turned away from the Mirror he had been gazing into, thoughtfully rubbing his chin. You do realize this has never been done before? he replied.
I am aware of it, she answered stubbornly, but I also am aware that our Father will not mind.
He sighed, turning to his companion beside him. I have never known you to be so outspoken about something such as this, Estë. For you to be so, this must be important.
Estë, Lady of Healing, merely smiled. My plea has all the power of the Valar behind it, my brother. Varda was the first to request it, in fact. We needed only to ask you, for 'tis your dominion. When her brother continued to remain silent and imperturbable, Estë persisted, He is one of the Nine, surely that must count for something? And he suffered much during his time on Arda, though scarcely breathed a word of complaint. He has countless ties to the Firstborn. The tie he has to the Prince alone would be enough to draw him up from the Halls.
'Tis true, Mandos conceded. He suddenly grinned slightly. If I recall correctly, he has already tried to grasp some of those memories.
Estë barely managed to restrain a grin of her own. He is a remarkable Atani, no? So of course, we should help him along.
Well, we must, mustn't we? Mandos replied, eyes gleaming.
Estë's grin finally broke through. Truly, brother, we may?
Mandos chuckled. Aye, little sister.
Estë surprised him by launching herself into his arms and hugging him tightly. Thank you, big brother!
Mandos just chuckled some more, patting her on the back. Come. We shall find Varda, and you two shall lead him from these Halls.
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-
(Elsewhere, Mandos's Halls)
It was a very frustrating thing being dead, he decided. He was discontent without knowing precisely why, longing for something he could not clearly remember. The others here…they seemed happy, carefree. And indeed, it was restful here. But he himself was restless.
Countless times he had tried to reach out for whatever it was he felt to be missing, and every time, it hovered just outside of his grasp.
He wanted to remember, longed to know what he had once had, but…
Young one. The voice came from behind him and caused the Man—for he was a Man—to yelp and spin around to face the speaker, turning from where he had been looking out across the verdant valley.
'Hî...Hîr nin,' he stammered in the Grey Tongue, hastily bowing to the Valar in front of him, 'my Ladies.'
Estel, Mandos spoke simply, voice thrumming with music and power as Estë, with a gay laugh, danced forward to place her hands gently on either side of his head.
You have sought long, little one, the third—Varda, Lady of the Stars—advised quietly. Now let us help you.
A curious warmth was growing in his mind, and only grew stronger as Varda circled behind him and placed her hands over her sister's.
'Hîr nin?' the Man murmured in bewilderment as Mandos rested his hands over the two Ladies'.
"Hope" you once were, child. And "Hope" you shall be again, Mandos rumbled. Close your eyes, and remember
The Man did so. And then…they came. Like a dam bursting open, the memories he had sought in vain poured forth unrestrained. Images, sounds, smells, snatches of taste and touch. All this he remembered, and more.
Faces he knew, faces he longed for and missed. Names so familiar and so dear that he wondered at the strength of the force which had caused him to forget.
You never forgot, child, Mandos's voice invaded his thoughts once more. What the mind forgets, the heart remembers. And you loved them so well, child, and they still so very much love you, that 'twould be cruel, indeed, to force you to remain apart. You were an Atani raised among Quendi, young one. They played a very large part in who you were and what you became. Estë and Varda will go with you, for your family is waiting, Estel Elrondion. All speed, and know you go with our blessings.
Estë spoke now, Keep your eyes shut, young one. You know the look of these Halls, but you shan't see them again. Nor can you, on this journey. 'Twill not take long. Be patient, and the rest will come with time.
We are leaving now, child, Varda's voice spoke up. Are you ready?
The Man—once Aragorn, once Strider and Elessar, now only Estel—took a deep breath. 'I am, Fair Lady. Hannon lle.'
Do not thank us just yet, Estë replied with easy amusement.
There was a sensation of being wrapped in a water-soft cloak, the feel of a breeze, and then they were moving—exactly how, Estel would never be able to explain, but it felt a lot like flying, and a lot like gliding. Was this how the Valar walked?
After what seemed like only moments, Varda once more spoke, Open your eyes, young one.
Then the feel of the water-soft cloak being drawn away.
Estel did so…then blinked. And blinked again. Cerulean waves beat softly upon a white shore, and a rosy glow highlighted the sky as the Sun began its ascent. 'The sea,' he murmured, 'long has it been since last I saw it.'
He turned to the two Ladies standing with him, each as beautiful as the other and the sea before him—one dressed in raiment of grey, the other in kirtle of midnight. They were smiling at him.
Well, young one, they shan't be long, Estë informed him. We are now out of Mandos's Halls and have stopped here because Elrond Half-Elven and his family often walk this shore.
Be aware, young one, Varda put in, that they know of your death. They have not taken it well, I fear. An unexpected glimmer of mirth entered her sparkling eyes. I would have dropped you between—perhaps on—your brothers, for they are but a league away. I did not, however, wish to scare them to death.
Mischief touched Estel's silver eyes. 'Mayhap we can do something similar, my Ladies, if you would be agreeable…'
The two Valar's mischievous smiles urged him ahead as he told them of his plan.
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-
(A League Away)
This had become tradition, walking along the beach at sunrise as a family—or, at least, as much of a family as they could be. No one knew how much time had passed since the news had arrived, and no one really cared. What mattered was that Estel—Aragorn—Strider—was dead.
On this day, Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee had joined Gandalf and the Peredhil family on their daily walk, and perhaps it was not coincidence that they did so. But right now, none there seemed to suspect anything amiss.
At one point, the two twins fell back several paces from the rest of the group, lingering to look out across the sea. 'How long do you suppose 'twill be until Legolas arrives?' Elrohir asked his twin softly.
Elladan shook his head. 'I know not, Elrohir, but I do wonder whether he will be whole when he does. Hard as this is for us, for him, I am sure, 'tis much worse. He has been with Estel far longer than we have.'
'You never truly know what 'tis like to love a mortal until you lose them,' Elrohir murmured.
'That is so,' the older twin agreed.
They were silent a long moment, eyes in the past and across the sea…until a firm yank on Elladan's cloak sent him toppling backwards into the sand with a half-stifled yell of utter startlement.
Elrohir whipped around at the cry, hand going for a sword that was not there, before he saw the predicament his twin had landed himself in. He raised an amused eyebrow. 'Generally, El,' the younger twin remarked dryly, 'one requires a pull or a shove to end up on the ground when one is standing.' He crouched beside his twin, a smile lurking at the corners of his mouth but going no further. 'Are you all right?'
Elladan scowled half-heartedly at the other Noldor Elf. 'Fine,' he growled.
Musical laughter sounded somewhere behind them, causing the two to snap their heads up in surprise and glance around.
No one was there.
The twins simultaneously frowned. More musical laughter.
Suddenly, what felt like a hand was placed firmly in the middle of Elrohir's back, and with a light push, he was sent sprawling forward (rather ungracefully) into his brother's arms.
'Now that was not very nice,' a melodious female voice spoke up warmly, in mock-reproach. More musical laughter accompanied this statement.
'Who goes there?' Elladan demanded. 'Show yourselves!'
'I would not speak that way were I you,' Gandalf the White chided mildly, startling the twins even more. When had he returned?
They craned their necks to squint up at him in the early morning sunlight where he leaned on his staff, enigmatic smile on his lips as he gazed straight at something over their heads and behind them.
'I sense only good natured mischief afoot,' he finished.
Oh, fine, spoilsport, a voice two shocked Peredhil twins recognized as Estë, one of the female Valar, spoke up.
You always were too perceptive for your own good, a second warm voice added, which two even more shocked twins recognized as Varda.
A veil seemed to be drawn back, and two radiant female Valar appeared, grinning at the dumbfounded Peredhil twins.
For several long moments, both sets of siblings merely gazed at each other, the twins in astonishment, the Valar in affectionate mirth.
Finally, Elrohir broke the silence by laughing out loud. 'I suppose we deserved that,' he observed, voice brimming with his own mirth. He helped his twin to his feet, gaining his own at the same time, and bowed. 'Well done, Gracious Ladies.'
Varda and Estë started laughing again. 'Twas not us, child, Estë advised warmly. We only helped.
Two completely bewildered Noldor Elves blinked at them. 'But who else could it have possibly been?' Elrohir wanted to know.
The Ladies smiled softly, and Varda turned to her side, beginning to pull back her cloak. 'Tis time, young one, she murmured.
As the twins watched, a form shimmered into focus. So familiar, it was haunting…
Two identical cries rent the quiet morning air:
'ESTEL!'
'Quel amrun, muindyr nin (Good morning, my brothers),' Estel replied softly. He held his hands out to his brothers whose faces clearly displayed their disbelieving agony. 'I am home.'
When still they did not move, tears prickled at the corners of Estel's eyes. Varda had said they had taken his death hard, and it was precisely this reason why guilt always seemed to jolt him at the most inopportune moments whenever he had spent time with his family or Legolas. He had always been careful to hide it, but it was never easy, and made this situation no better now.
Fortunately, Estë saved both sides unneeded pain by coming to stand shoulder to shoulder with her sister and gently nudging the Man forward in the process. Touch them, Estel, she whispered. Then they will know.
Estel swallowed hard and nodded, blinking back tears as he cautiously moved forward. Hands trembling slightly, he raised them to his brothers' faces, resting each on one twin's cheek, as if saying, This is me. I am real, and I am home.
It seemed not to work at first, for both twins remained frozen. But after a long, agonized moment, a change came over their faces.
Slowly, heartache and grief drained away. Slowly, their faces (which had gone white) resumed quite their normal color. Abruptly, two brilliant grins completely split their countenances.
'ESTEL!' came the simultaneous cry again, this one infinitely more happy than the first.
Before he was quite aware of what was happening, two ecstatic Peredhil twins knocked the young Man clean to the ground. He gave a hearty, out loud laugh, trying to hug them both at the same time. 'Nice to see you, too!'
'Estel! You have no idea how much we've missed you--!'
'We heard…We didn't think…!'
'Ada thought…but then you didn't come and—oh, Valar, Ada!'
This last cry was Elrohir's and he quickly disentangled himself from his two brothers, turning on heel and sprinting in the direction he had last seen their father, mother, and the Hobbits walk in. Fierce joy blazed in his eyes and translated into his voice as he called exuberantly, 'Ada! Ada! You must come see! Ada! Nana!' and rushed off to find their parents.
While the younger twin searched, and the older twin peppered Estel with literally dozens of questions, Gandalf gained the two Valar's sides. I cannot say I am surprised, the Istari murmured, but I do wonder…what allowed this to come about?
Estë and Varda smiled at him. Know you so little of the ways of the heart, young one? Varda asked warmly.
I cannot say I ever quite mastered it, Gandalf returned dryly.
Varda turned her smile to Estel and his older brother as Estë spoke, His ties to the Quendi are too great to deny him this. While being raised by Elrond Half-Elven, he may as well have been an Elf. And 'tis obvious to anyone that the Peredhil family and the Crown Prince of Eryn Lasgalen would not fully recover were he to be lost forever within Mandos's Halls. He is a remarkable Atani—the Valar all know this, and we have spoken for him. He is now counted among the Firstborn. Indeed, he was already halfway there.
The two looked up from their conversation to find Estel and Elladan watching them, both having regained their feet. It was clear that they had heard at least the end of the conversation, and the expression on Elladan's face was one of pure gratitude, with Estel's quite nearly matching it as the Human whispered, 'Hannon lle.'
The depth of their gratitude could be expressed in nothing more than that.
'Tis well, young one, Varda soothed.
Estë actually came forward and hugged him. You are blessed, child. So very blessed. Great things were put in motion for you, and great things you have accomplished. You have won the hearts of many, and 'tis their ties that keep you here. Enjoy it, child. For it shall never be taken away. We will meet again.
Then, like the wind, they vanished.
A few tears slid down Estel's cheeks as he watched them go, only to be caught by deft fingers as Gandalf joined them. 'See here now,' he advised the young Man gruffly, 'there shall be no more tears shed.'
Estel gave him a wavering smile. 'Gandalf.' Surprising the White Wizard, he reached out and caught him in a tight hug.
Feeling strangely choked up, the Istari gave the young Dúnadan a gentle pat on the back before a shout from further up the beach snagged all three's attention.
Stepping away from his old friend, Estel looked in that direction to find five figures running towards them. Elrohir was in the lead, followed closely by two small forms almost as familiar as the tall one right behind them. The tall figure that stopped dead as his Elven eyes caught sight of the Man. A willowy, incredibly fair and bizarrely familiar figure slowed her own gait to gently take the tall one's arm and tug him in the direction of the Human.
But Estel had only a moment to spare for them as Elrohir and the two Hobbits came up to he, Elladan, and Gandalf.
"Strider!" came the joyful shout as Frodo and Sam barreled past the two twins and straight at him.
A delighted smile lit up Estel's face as he knelt, arms outstretched, to accept their exuberant hugs. Small, strong arms wound around his neck as he laughed and buried his face between their shoulders. "Frodo! Sam!"
A moment later, a slim hand rested itself hesitantly on top of his head, as if its owner was afraid he might disappear.
'Estel?' came the uncertain whisper in a deep, well loved voice.
Estel released the two Hobbits and quickly stood up, tears tracking down his cheeks in spite of Gandalf's admonition, turning and wrapping his own arms tightly around the speaker's neck.
He felt the Half-Elf's arms wind tightly around his shoulders as his Elven father fully realized the truth of his presence and gave a thick cry, 'Estel nin! Ion nin!'
'Ada,' he choked, burying his wet face in the Peredhil's shoulder and smiling widely. 'I'm home.'
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-
(Some Time Later)
As his family moved ahead on the beach, Estel hung back, gazing out across the sea to the land he had left behind. Somewhere out there, he knew Legolas—and likely Gimli with him—was sailing towards these shores, following the Straight Way.
'Coramin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au' (My heart shall weep until it sees you again)…'
'Legolas,' he murmured sadly, hugging himself, sorrow reflected in his eyes while he stood in a place where sorrow did not exist.
It was painful to recall those words, whispered tearfully by his dearest friend on the eve of his death as the prince lay curled around him on his deathbed—all the more heartbreaking because (at that time) both had expected not to see each other until the ending of the world.
'Hurry home, dear one,' he whispered, the sea breeze catching his words and flinging them out across the sea. 'I will be waiting.'
TBC
Elvish Translations:
Ada (Papa)
Estel (Hope; one of Aragorn's many names, given to him by Lord Elrond)
Hannon lle (Thank you)
Atani (Secondborn)
Quendi (Firstborn)
Eryn Lasgalen (Forest of the Green Leaves)
Peredhil (Half-Elf)
Nana (Mama)
Estel Elrondion (Estel, son of Elrond)
Hîr nin (My Lord)
Estel nin (My Estel)
Ion nin (My son)
--(Please note that I've used a mixture of online Elvish dictionaries, Tolkien, and my own experience to create these words and phrases, as well as those within the story—SS)