Don't Let Your Guard Down
chapter 19

omg, i am sooooooooooooo sorry this is so late (two weeks after i updated last...so sorry!). I have been so freakin busy lately. i promise, i'll update faster than two weeks next time--i promise! thank you so much to everyone who reviewed my last chapter

disclaimer: i'm notJK Rowling. period. end of story. moving on...

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"I'm confused," Sirius complained.

Lily looked up. "That's because you're reading your book upside down."

Sirius glanced at her. "Oh…was I supposed to be reading?"

Lily sighed and put her book down. "Do you have any idea what you're going to study after Hogwarts?" Lily asked.

"Of course," Sirius said.

"Besides girls," Lily noted.

"Then no," Sirius said.

Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Maybe by the time you're out of here you'll learn how to read a book the right way."

"I doubt it," Sirius said. Sirius looked over at Lily's parchment. "Can I copy your homework?"

"Do it yourself," Lily said, not even bothering to look up.

"But I don't get it," Sirius said. "Please?"

"No," Lily confirmed.

Lily went back to reading her book and glanced up a few minutes later to see Sirius just staring into space. Lily sighed and closed her book. "Gigi on your mind?"

Sirius looked at her. "I sure hope you're not talking to me."

"Nooo," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "I'm talking to the invisible guy next to you."

"You're sitting here worried about me not being able to read yet you're seeing people who aren't real," Sirius noted.

Lily gave him a look. "You haven't done one bit of work in the past hour Si. You've been staring at nothing this entire time. What else would you be thinking about?"

"Pranks. Food. Quidditch," Sirius answered quickly.

"Gigi. Kissing. You avoiding her," Lily corrected.

"I am not thinking of Giliba nor am I avoiding her," Sirius said. "I am merely sit-oh crap, there she is. Hide me!"

Lily rolled her eyes and looked at Sirius. "Not avoiding her huh?"

Sirius smiled sheepishly. "Nope…we're just playing hide and seek."

"Sirius," Lily said simply, watching Gigi leave the room.

"Don't," Sirius said sharply.

"Sirius, you-"

"I said don't Lily," Sirius said. "Don't talk to me all condescending and trying to be my friend and understand. There's nothing to understand. Giliba and I snogged by mistake and now she wants to forget me all together."

"And you don't want to forget her," Lily said calmly.

Sirius just looked at Lily but didn't say anything.

Lily smiled. "That's what I thought."

Sirius gave Lily a sad smile. "It doesn't matter. Hogwarts is over in a few months. All Giliba and I know is how to hate each other and that's all we're gonna know."

Lily sighed and handed her parchment to Sirius. "Here."

"Don't give me the homework just because you feel sorry for me," Sirius said.

Lily reached for it back. "Fine, I won't."

Sirius grabbed it back. "On the other hand…it's really hard to concentrate on homework with all this Giliba stuff on my mind."

Lily laughed and watched Sirius copy the homework. Lily took a deep breath and dared to ask, "How many girls have you had sex with?"

Sirius stared at her and Lily shrugged. "Oops sorry, was that too inappropriate to ask?"

"No…" Sirius said. "I'm just trying to remember."

Lily laughed and then groaned. "It's no wonder every girl at this school hates you."

"Seven," Sirius answered.

"And how many girls have you snogged?" Lily asked.

After several minutes of trying to figure it out, Sirius answered, "Twenty-one."

Lily shook her head. "I'm sorry I asked."

Sirius leaned in towards Lily and jokingly said, "We can make it twenty-two."

Lily just looked at him. "Why does James trust you so much?"

Sirius paused. "I'm not sure."

Sirius handed Lily back her homework. "Want to go for a walk?"

"No."

"Seriously, answer faster," Sirius muttered.

"I'm sorry, I should have put careful consideration into that answer," Lily said. "No way."

"Come on," Sirius begged. "Just a walk by the lake. It's getting warmer outside. The grass is getting green. The birds are chirping."

"In any moment you're gonna start reciting a poem," Lily said.

"If you don't come with me, I'll sing," Sirius said.

Lily gathered her stuff together. "Let's go."

Sirius started singing anyway, "The hills are alive…with the sound of music!"

"Let's go!" Lily cried out, grabbing his hand and pulling him with her.

"I'm all wet!" Sirius cried out.

"I know," Lily said. "I pushed you in."

"I'm all wet!"

"You wouldn't stop singing!"

"I'm all wet!"

"You say that one more time and I'm pushing you in again," Lily said.

"Me is soaked!" Sirius rephrased.

"That's not even proper English," Lily noted.

Sirius paused. "I'm all wet!" Sirius repeated.

Lily groaned. "When James and I graduate, we're moving far far away from you," Lily said. "And you're not invited to the wedding."

"Whoa, moving in together and getting married already?" Sirius asked.

Lily grinned. "If you and James aren't married first."

"I don't know Lils…we're inseparable," Sirius said. "Joining hands in holy matrimony only sounds natural."

Lily rolled her eyes and headed towards her room. Sirius shrugged and walked into the common room.

"What happened to you?" James asked, as Sirius walked in.

"I'm wet," Sirius announced.

"Yes, we can see that," Remus said. "Why are you wet?"

"Here's an important lesson: don't sing loudly in Lily's ear when there's a lake nearby," Sirius said.

"You were out with Lily this whole time?" James asked. Sirius nodded. "I've been trying to find her for an hour."

"Well first we were doing homework here," Sirius said.

"You doing homework?" Remus asked.

"Well…I was copying her homework."

"That sounds more like it," Peter said.

Sirius shrugged and continued with the story. "And then we went out by the lake."

"The lake?" James questioned. "Isn't that where you usually bring your dates?"

Sirius shrugged. "When I'm not bringing them up to my room."

"Hmpf," James sighed out.

Sirius looked curiously at James. "You okay?"

"I'm gonna go find Lily," James said, getting up from the couch.

"I wouldn't do that," Sirius said. "She has lots of work to do."

"So let me get this straight," James said. "She has lots of work to do, but she was able to take an hour break and hang out with you?"

"Okay, you sound angry," Sirius said.

James clenched his fists. "No, I'm not angry."

Sirius looked at him. "You have angry written all over you."

"I'm not angry!" James shouted.

"So you're just screaming to clear your throat?" Sirius asked.

"Shut up Padfoot," James snapped and then sauntered off.

Sirius turned to his other two friends. "Am I missing something?"

"It's the same something I'm missing," Peter noted.

"He's just jealous," Remus said with a shrug.

Sirius turned to Peter. "Apparently Remus isn't missing this something."

"Lily's very busy with getting all her work done for her classes and dealing with Head Girl stuff. She doesn't have much time for fun and today when she took a break, she hung out with you," Remus said.

"You make that sound like a bad thing," Sirius said.

"James just wished that when she has time, that she hangs out with him," Remus said.

Sirius looked at Remus. "How'd you get so smart?"

"It sure as hell didn't happen while hanging out with you guys," Remus teased.

"Hey Lily," James said, walking into their common room.

"Hey," Lily said, not bothering from her book.

James came over and sat down next to Lily.

Lily just looked at him. "What?"

James looked at her strangely. "Can't a guy come sit next to his girlfriend?"

"I have lots of work to do," Lily said, looking back down at her book.

"How do you have more work than me? We're in practically all the same classes," James said.

Lily sighed. "Look, I don't have time to fool around right now."

"That's not what I wanted," James said. "I just wanted to come sit with you."

Lily didn't say anything because she was too busy reading.

After a few moments of silence James asked, "So what homework are you doing?"

"James," Lily warned, putting her book down on her lap and looking up at him with annoyance in her eyes. "We can hang out later okay? Right now, I have way too much work to do."

"But you have the time to hang out with Sirius?" James mumbled softly.

Lily finally looked up from her book. "What?"

James sighed. "Nothing, forget it." James got up and started to saunter off.

"That was only for an hour," Lily said.

"Yeah, an hour of which should have been spent doing all this work you supposedly have," James grunted.

"What's with you today?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," James said quietly, but then turned around angrily. "I just want to hang out with my girlfriend who says she's too busy doing work but then she's off somewhere with Sirius."

"Yeah, because I needed a break," Lily said.

"And how come you let him copy your homework? You never let me do that," James said, changing the subject.

"But yet you do it anyway," Lily said.

James sighed, obviously a little annoyed. "Just forget it, I'm being stupid."

"I agree," Lily muttered.

For some reason, that comment made James mad. "Oh really? How would you like it if I was busy every minute of every day and when I have a break, I went to hang out with Nancie or something?"

"That's completely different!" Lily cried out. "Sirius and I never went out. And we never ever will. We're just friends. James, you're acting like I can't hang out with any of my other friends. You're acting like I have to spend all my free time with you. You're the one who said you're being stupid, not me."

"I just wish you'd understand where I'm coming from," James said grumpily.

"And I wish you'd understand where I'm coming from," Lily exclaimed. "I've worked hard to get where I am and I'll be damned if I'm going to slack off a few months before graduation."

"Hey, I've worked hard too!" James cried out. "Just because I don't have a stick up my ass, doesn't mean I haven't worked hard! Just because I haven't sucked up to every damn professor in this school and read every stupid book in the library, doesn't mean I haven't worked hard!"

"Worked hard on what?" Lily asked. "On pranks? On getting random girls to have sex with you? On being the best Quidditch player?"

"Okay, now you're being stupid!" James shouted. "Unlike you who hasn't changed since first year and has only cared about grades and being the best in every subject, I'm a completely different person than I was in the past years at Hogwarts!"

"Why? Because you don't have your parents to bail you out anymore?"

"Excuse me?" James cried out, not liking where this conversation was going.

"Whenever you get in trouble, you're parents bailed you out, whether it's by giving you money or talking to the Headmaster. You haven't had to work hard at anything you're entire life. Just face it James, you're spoiled and always get everything you've ever wanted."

James just stood there in awe, trying hard not to look hurt. "I cannot believe you just said that." And with that, he walked out.

Lily sighed, instantly regretting every word she just said. She debated whether to go after him, but then she just turned back to her work, which she now couldn't concentrate on. She swore outloud, threw the book down on the couch and crossed her arms across her chest angrily.

"I am not spoiled!" James exclaimed, stomping into the commons room.

Peter, Remus, and Sirius looked up at him with quizzical looks. "Care to explain?"

James plopped down on the couch with a groan. "Somehow talking about her hanging out with Sirius got to how I don't work hard and how my parents bailed me out whenever I get into trouble."

"Lily said that?"

"She called me stupid too," James said. "And something about sex with other girls and money."

"You pay other girls to have sex with you?" Sirius asked. James glared at him. "Hey, I'm just trying to figure out what went on."

"No, she said that the only thing I worked hard on was getting girls to have sex with me and that I don't have to work hard because my parents gave me all the money I needed and always got me out of trouble. That's not fucking true anymore because my parents are dead." James groaned and got up, starting to walk towards the boys room.

"Where are you going?" Sirius called out.

"I'm sleeping in your bed tonight," James said. "You can sleep in my room." And with that, James was gone.

"Does he know that it's only 4 in the afternoon?" Sirius questioned.

Lily jumped in and looked anxiously at the entrance when she heard the portrait hole open up. She sighed out when she saw that it was just Sirius. "Hi," she mumbled as he waved.

"You've been in here for an awfully long time," Sirius said.

"What are you doing here?"

"Sleeping here."

Lily looked at him dumbfounded. "Why?"

"Oh you know," Sirius said with a shrug. "Don't feel like sleeping in my bed. It's uncomfortable." Lily gave him a look like she totally didn't believe him. "And I think I left some random girl in the bed and I don't remember her name and don't want to go back up to the room and get into an argument and convince her that just because I don't know her name doesn't mean I don't care about her…which is bullshit, because I really don't care about her."

"James is sleeping in your bed isn't he," Lily said with a sigh.

"Now that I think about it, the random girl's name is James," Sirius said sheepishly.

Lily sighed and put down her quill and parchment. "I was stupid."

"The story I heard was that you called him stupid," Sirius said, sitting down beside Lily.

"He called himself stupid first," Lily muttered and then sighed. "I truly was an idiot."

"So I hear," Sirius said. "You called him spoiled?"

"And talked about his parents as if they were still alive," Lily sighed out. "I'm a horrible person."

"I wouldn't say you're a horrible person," Sirius said. "A horrible girlfriend, yes. But not a horrible person." Lily glared at him. "I'm not helping am I?"

Lily shook her head. "But he just started yelling at me, accusing me of liking you or something, and then he just got so jealous or something, telling me to slack off on my work and hang out with him."

"He just wants to spend time with you," Sirius said with a shrug. "He gets jealous easily. Remember the date he ruined with Geoff?"

"Kinda hard to forget," Lily muttered. "I hate when he's jealous. There's no reason for him to be jealous. I'm not gonna cheat on him…especially with you."

"Hey, hey. Let's not get too hasty," Sirius joked.

Lily gave him a look. "He should just trust me."

"He does."

"Well I wish he'd understand how stressful the end of seventh year is."

"He does."

"Then why was he acting like a prat?"

"Because he's James…and a Marauder…and it's what we do," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Gigi would back you up on that," Lily muttered as she gathered her stuff. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed."

Lily walked out and Sirius called out after her, "But it's only seven!"

"And so the snail turns to him and says hey! give me back my shell," Sirius said with a laugh. Sirius looked at Lily who didn't have a reaction. "…give me back my shell!" Sirius repeated but Lily still didn't make a move. Sirius sighed and put down his bacon. "Okay, I'm using my funniest lines on you and you're not even acting like I'm funny."

Lily looked up. "Huh?" Obviously she hadn't been paying attention. She just couldn't stop replaying the entire argument James and she had over and over again in her head. Why did James get so jealous and defensive? Why did she say those things? And why is it that not only the work at the end of the year is hard, but her relationship is getting harder?

Sirius sighed. "Okay, first you make me get up at 6:30 in the morning to help you clean up the common room…which isn't mine by the way. And then you make us come to breakfast way early when they don't even have the good foods out yet. And now you're not listening to my jokes."

Lily sighed and snapped out of it. "I'm sorry. Just trying to keep busy," Lily said with a shrug.

"So you don't think about James?" Sirius asked.

Lily just gave him a look.

Sirius stuck some eggs in his mouth and turned towards Lily. "I'm doing the same thing."

"Avoiding James?" Lily teased.

Sirius shook his head. "Keeping busy so I don't think about Giliba."

"And how she yelled and humiliated you in front of us," Lily said.

Sirius glared at her. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to forget."

"Well better keep real busy right now…because here she comes," Lily said, eyeing the entrance of the Great Hall.

Sirius turned to see if it truly was her and groaned. He shoveled some toast into his mouth and got up. "And that's my cue to leave."

Sirius and Gigi didn't even look at each other as they passed each other, and Gigi (and Kacie) sat down across from Lily. "How long have you been here?"

Lily shrugged. "Half an hour?"

"Why were you here so early?" Kacie asked.

"I've been up since six…this isn't early," Lily said.

Kacie spat out her water. "Six? There's one of those in the morning?"

Lily laughed and cleaned up the water. "I've been really busy recently. There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I have to do."

Gigi took some toast and said, "We're all in the same year, and pretty much the same classes, how can you have more work than us?"

Lily banged down her fork onto the table. "I'm tired of people saying that to me! After Hogwarts, I want to get into a University, and I have a lot of Head Girl stuff going on, and the pressure of graduation is killing me!"

Kacie and Gigi stopped mid-bite and just stared at Lily. Gigi gulped, afraid to say anything. "Um…I think you need a break."

Lily sighed and put her head down on the table. "Sorry guys," she mumbled. "I'm just really stressed."

"I think another night where you get totally wasted is what you need," Gigi offered and Kacie laughed.

"Well here comes James, maybe he'll make you happier and less stressed," Kacie said.

Lily's head shot up from the table. "What?" She saw James walk in and got up in a hurry.

"Where are you going?"

"I have lots of work remember?" Lily said, and jetted out of the Great Hall.

Gigi and Kacie exchanged baffling looks and shrugged as they watched the boys walking towards them. "Well hello boys."

Remus and Peter said hello back while James just plopped down and stared at his plate.

"What's wrong with him?" Kacie asked, pointing to James.

"He went to bed really late," Remus lied with a shrug.

"Sirius told me he went to bed at four in the afternoon," Kacie said.

"Did I say late? I meant early," Remus said sheepishly.

Gigi put down her fork and looked at James. "What's wrong with you?"

"Girls suck," James muttered.

"You do know you're talking to two girls, right?" Kacie noted.

"He and Lily had a little dispute," Remus said with a shrug.

"It was more than a little dispute," Peter noted.

"Well…I guess it could be called an argument," Remus said, shrugging again.

"Also known as a fight," Peter said.

"Okay, can we stop debating how big the disagreement was," Gigi said.

"Yeah, let's get to what the disagreement was," Kacie said.

"It wasn't much of a disagreement. They both agreed that James was stupid," Peter noted.

"She shouldn't have agreed with me," James mumbled.

"Were they fighting about how you guys suck at telling stories?" Gigi asked.

Remus sighed. "James was annoyed that Lily spent her free time with Sirius, and then that got to how Lily is always busy and works hard, unlike James who slacks off and got his parents to bail him out whenever necessary."

"Lily said that?" Kacie asked, obviously surprised.

"She told me I was spoiled and she talked about my parents as if they were alive," James said. "It may not show, but I've worked hard to get where I am today. Who cares if I spend my free time getting better at Quidditch? Or playing pranks on Slytherins? Or going to random bars to get drunk?"

"Well obviously Lily cares," Peter said with a shrug.

"Well she knew what I was like when she started dating me," James mumbled.

"I'm sure Lily didn't mean anything she said to you. She was probably just stressed or angry or something," Gigi offered.

"Then why hasn't she tried to talk to me since last night? Why hasn't she tried to apologize?" James asked.

"She's nervous. She doesn't know what to say," Kacie said.

"And I'm guessing you have things to apologize for also and you're not attempting to talk to her," Gigi said. James just looked down at his empty plate. "Exactly," she confirmed.

"Forget this," James said, standing up from the table and turning to the guys. "Let's go."

Remus and Peter looked at the food longingly. "Um…"

"Well?" James demanded. "Are you coming?"

"Are you mad at me for pointing out the obvious?" Gigi asked.

"I'm not mad," James said with a shrug. "I just don't want to talk about Lily. I don't want to hang out with girls at all right now."

"Because we have cooties?" Gigi joked.

"No because all girls do is nag and annoy guys and act all innocent and sweet but really they're getting ready to pounce on you the first chance they have," James said.

"Tell us how you really feel," Gigi said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

James rolled his eyes also and left the Great Hall. Remus turned to the girls. "Obviously this whole Lily thing is getting to him."

"How'd you figure that out?" Kacie said sarcastically. Remus laughed and followed Peter out of the Great Hall to find James.

"Stop complaining about being hungry," Sirius said, plopping down on the blanket. "Here's the snacks."

"We didn't get to eat breakfast!" Remus exclaimed, digging into some cookies.

"So why are we down here?" Sirius asked. "Isn't this a date type thing? Which two of us are dating?"

James rolled his eyes. "I'm getting tired of being cooped up in Hogwarts and it's finally a nice warm day, so I thought coming out here under this tree would be nice."

Sirius paused. "No really…who's dating who?"

"We're just here to get away from Hogwarts and work," James exclaimed.

"And this way you can avoid Lily at all costs," Sirius muttered. James glared at him. "Oh right, the one rule of the day was not to mention her."

James shrugged and bit into a cookie. "I don't care if you talk about her. But I don't wanna talk about her."

"I just don't get it," Remus said. "It's not like she cheated on you. You guys should be able to talk and get through this little fight."

"She hurt me," James said. "That's the bottom line. She called me spoiled and told me my parents always got me out of trouble. My girlfriend shouldn't be saying things like that…that's something Snape would say."

Sirius nodded. "You've got a point there."

"Well whatever," Remus said. "Let's talk about something else…like Sirius's love life."

It grew really quiet and no one said anything for a few seconds. "…and that's what my love life is like," Sirius responded.

"Still hung up on Gigi?" Peter asked.

"Why is it that whenever we get together all we talk about is girls?" Sirius wondered.

"Because you guys don't study, you don't do work, you don't pay attention to the professors, and you don't even know the names of the classes you're taking," Remus said.

"Girls is pretty much all you two are about," Peter said.

"Hey hey. Now that's not true," Sirius said. "You forgot about how we love to get drunk."

Remus rolled his eyes but didn't respond.

"Oh c'mon," James interjected. "We are four intelligent people who should be able to have a conversation that doesn't revolve around sex and alcohol." James glanced around. "Or at least we are four people."

"So how about those current events?" Remus joked.

"Let's play a prank," Sirius offered.

"And enough about the current events," Remus mumbled.

"Yeah, we haven't played a prank in awhile," James said. Sirius and James turned to Remus.

"And I'm guessing once again you want me to figure out the details," Remus said.

"Only you get the whole be quiet, not get caught thing," Sirius said.

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"Prank on the Slytherins," Sirius and James answered at the same time.

"Right, because who else would we humiliate?" Remus muttered, reaching for parchment. As Remus was writing he looked up and asked, "So did you guys hear what happened with You-Know-Who at the Kilitiny pub?"

"Yeah, he went on a barrage, eradicating ancestors of the Squiratal cult," James said.

"That's awful!" Sirius exclaimed. "Wait…am I supposed to know what you just said?"

James laughed. "Let's get back to talking about something Sirius understands."

"Which would definitely not be girls," Remus said with a laugh.

James walked into his room, knowing that Lily was at the library, and stopped when he saw who was sitting on his bed. He froze in place at first and then coughed a little to find his voice. "Hi."

"Hi."

James waited for her to say something more and when that didn't happen he sighed, placed his books on his bed, and looked up with a curious look. "What are you doing here Nancie?"

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ooooh cliffhanger! what is Nancie doing in James's room? guess you'll have to review to find out!