Don't Let Your Guard Down
chapter 20

well i promised i'dupdate earlier than two weeks... altho not like 10 days is much better. i'm so sorry! i've just been soooo busy!

thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, i appreciate it!

disclaimer: you've got the gist by now.

(if you recal from last chapter, James walked into his room to find Nancie standing there)

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Nancie got up from the bed. "I heard about your parents."

James stared at her. "That happened two months ago," James said.

Nancie pointed to a box in the corner. "I brought some of your stuff back."

"Again…it's been two months," James said. "Actually it's been more like three months."

Nancie looked down at the ground. "I hear you're dating Lily."

James pursed his lips together but didn't say anything.

"So yeah, I heard about your parents," Nancie restated.

"You said that," James said.

Nancie looked down at her feet. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. As you know, my parents died when I was three years old."

"They did?" James questioned.

Nancie just sighed. "Yeah…I told you that before."

"Oh yeah, I remember," James lied.

"When I heard about your parents, it just got me thinking about you and so I figured you'd want your stuff back," Nancie said with a shrug.

"Thanks," James said with a gulp. He looked at Nancie who wasn't making an effort to leave. "Is that it?"

Nancie took a deep breath and took a step closer to James. "Okay look," Nancie said calmly. "I know we were never really dating, and it was just a casual sex thing but for some reason or another, I can't stop thinking about you."

"Oh," was all James could think of to say.

"But you're with Lily," Nancie asked, sort of forming it as a question.

James swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah." James went down and sat on his bed with a huge sigh.

"Are you okay?" Nancie asked.

"I'm a screw up," James said, running his hands through his hair. "Yes I'm dating Lily…except we're not talking right now."

Nancie tried hard not to smile at that and sat next to James on his bed. "Why not?"

James paused, trying to think of a good answer but then he realized there was no good answer. All he had to do was talk to Lily and things would be okay, and it's taken him a day to realize it. "Because I'm a dolt," James muttered with a sigh.

"Care to explain?" Nancie asked.

James sighed. "I just don't get us sometimes. I don't understand why she's with me. How can I be good enough for her? I just don't get what she sees in me."

Nancie leaned over and gave James a small kiss on the cheek. "I do," she murmured and then darted out of the room, not noticing when she left the portrait hole that Lily was walking towards it through the other hallway.

Lily just stood there in awe, not at all sure what to do. But after she regained feeling in her legs, she turned around and walked back down the hallway.

"Do you guys know where Lily is?" Gigi asked, walking into the commons room to see Remus and Peter.

They looked up and shrugged. "Haven't seen her all day."

"Oh hey Kace!" Gigi exclaimed as Kacie walked down from the room. "Is Lily up there?"

Kacie shook her head. "No…isn't she in her room?"

"No. Last time I saw her, she was in the library. And that was about eight hours ago," Gigi said.

"Now that I think about it, Lily never came down to dinner," Remus noted.

"And she hasn't been in the library for awhile…I was just there," Peter said.

"Well, where's Sirius? Is she with him?"

"No, Sirius just went down to the kitchens for us," Remus said.

"Well, what about James? Is she with him?" Gigi asked.

"They're still fighting," Peter said. "And James was just here."

"Where could she be?" Gigi asked, plopping down on the couch.

"Probably someplace quiet where she can get lots of work done," Peter said. "Where would you find a place like that?"

"It's called the library," Kacie joked.

"She usually likes to study outside," Gigi said. "But since the sun went down, it's gotten really chilly."

"And dark," Peter added.

"Forgot my book," James said, entering the room and grabbing his book. He looked up to see four pairs of eyes staring at him. "What?"

"You and Lily make up?" Gigi asked.

"Okay, please get off my case about that," James said, "I realize I provoked her and that's why she said those things to me."

"What made you change your mind about the whole thing?" Remus asked.

James paused. "Nancie."

All four friends looked at him strangely. "Excuse me?" Gigi finally asked.

"Just forget it," James said with a tiny smile. "When Lily comes back to our commons room, I'll talk to her, okay?"

"So she hasn't come back all day?" Kacie asked.

James shook his head. "Not yet." And with that, James was gone.

"How many Nancie's do we know?" Gigi asked when James was gone.

Sirius walked in just then. "Hey Si? How many Nancie's do we know?" Kacie asked.

"I know three of them," Sirius said instantly.

"And how many have you had sex with?" Kacie teased.

"I don't see why that's relevant to the subject matter," Sirius said, placing the snacks down on a table.

"You don't even know what the subject matter is," Remus said.

"So, did you see Lily down at the kitchens?" Kacie asked.

"No," Sirius said.

"Okay, I'm leaving," Gigi said, not daring to look at Sirius.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Lily's around here somewhere and I'm gonna find her," Gigi said as she exited the room.

"Plus it's a convenient excuse as to why she's leaving right as Sirius walks in," Peter muttered.

James bounced up from the couch when he heard footsteps enter the commons room. He looked at the clock which read 3:00 am. James rubbed his eyes as Lily entered the room.

"I've been waiting for you all day," James said. "Where have you been?"

Lily didn't say anything but just kept walking, right past him.

"You had me really worried," James said.

Lily still didn't say anything.

"Lily?" James asked. "No one knew where you were…"

Lily rolled her eyes, didn't bother looking at him, andcontinued to not sayanything.

"Okay, I don't see why you won't talk to me," James said. "Technically I should be the one that's angry. Remember? You were the one called me spoiled."

Lily turned around violently to look at James. "Yes, but I'm not the one spending afternoon's with Nancie in my bedroom." And with that, Lily slammed her door shut.

James hung his head and sighed. He trudged over to her door, but discovered it was locked. He was about to knock, but he took a step away from the door and ran his hands through his hair nervously. He grabbed his invisibility cloak and darted out of the room.

James kept banging on the door yelling, "Wake up! Sirius! Remus! Peter! Hello!"

Finally, after a minute or two, Remus practically sleep-walked to the door and opened it up. "What the hell?"

"Is he aware of the time?" Sirius groaned, pulling his pillow over his head.

James barged in aggravated. "So when Remus is a werewolf, we're all very content to help him out no matter what. But when all I need is a simple door open, you guys take hundreds of hours to open it!"

"Okay, who's going to point out that he was only standing out there for a minute?" Sirius moaned.

"What's up?" Remus asked, sitting up in his bed. "What brings you here at this ungodly hour?"

"And can it wait til the morning? I want to sleep!" Sirius cried out.

"Nancie was in my bedroom this afternoon," James said.

"Sleep can wait," Sirius said, practically shooting out of bed. "What?"

"Okay, I was going to pretend I was asleep but what the hell?" Peter asked, sitting up quickly.

"She was in there when I got back today," James said. "Just sitting on my bed."

"What was she wearing?" Sirius asked.

"Why the hell is that relevant?" James asked.

"Well if the answer is she wasn't wearing anything, it's very relevant," Sirius said.

"She was fully clothed," James said in disgust. "She came to say she was sorry about my parents. And that she still liked me or something…I don't even remember."

"Whoa," Remus muttered.

"I still don't see why you had to wake us up to tell us this," Peter said.

James took a deep breath. "Apparently Lily saw her in my room. Or heard about it. Or something."

"Okay…" Remus said.

"Well?" James asked.

The three boys stared at him. "Did you really wake us up to tell us that awful story?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, you could have at least added a part about bears eating somebody or flying monkeys attacking you," Sirius said. James just stared at him. "Hey, it's 3 in the morning! I'm still in dream mode."

"I don't know what to do," James said, sitting in Remus's desk chair. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to act."

"To Nancie? Or to Lily?" Peter asked.

"I don't care about Nancie," James said. "What do I say to Lily?"

"Did you and Nancie do anything?" Remus asked.

"Of course not."

"Then telling Lily that would be a good start."

"Will she believe me?" James asked.

"Hell no," all three boys answered in unison.

"Thanks for the good advice guys," James said sarcastically.

"Ooooh, guilt her into believing it! I mean, you're still upset about the whole you're spoiled thing…use that against her. I mean, she can't possibly feel okay about saying that," Sirius said.

"Or I could hold a knife to her throat and make her forgive me," James said sarcastically.

"Oooh, that's a good idea!" Sirius exclaimed.

James stared at him. "I was kidding Sirius. I'm not gonna use anything against her nor am I going to force her to forgive me."

"Really? Why not?"

"Remind me to apologize to whatever girl you end up dating," James said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. James started getting up to go back to his room and then looked at his three best friends. "Can I stay here tonight?"

"Sure," Sirius said. "I hear the floor is really comfortable."

James groaned. "Never mind…I should go talk to Lily anyway."

James started to leave the room until Sirius called out after him. "A word of advice…don't wake her up now. She'll be even madder."

"How do you know?" James asked.

"Experience," Sirius said, glaring at James. James gave a sheepish grin and walked out.

"Wake up!" Lily exclaimed, barging into Gigi and Kacie's room early the next morning.

"We have alarms Lily," Gigi said, pulling her pillow over her ears. "We don't need you to wake us up."

"What time is it?" Kacie groaned and then paused. "What day is it?"

"It's Saturday," Lily said. "And it's 6 in the morning."

"SIX?" Kacie exclaimed. "I don't even get up that early when we have classes."

"Didn't you go to bed really late last night?" Gigi moaned. "How can you be functioning right now?"

Kacie gasped. "Did you have coffee? And didn't get us any?"

"I didn't have coffee. I just couldn't sleep," Lily said, sitting down on Gigi's bed. "And I wanted to hang out and talk with my two best friends."

"I can't wait til you make up with James," Kacie grunted.

Lily looked down at her hands. "Not gonna happen," Lily muttered.

Kacie and Gigi exchanged glances and sat up in their beds. "Why not?" Gigi asked.

"Ugh, can we have this conversation later?" Kacie groaned. "Like when I'm awake."

Gigi ignored her. "Lily, if you recall…you were the one to say horrible things to him. I mean, yes, he said things to you also, but-" Gigi started.

"I walked into the common room yesterday afternoon to see Nancie walk out of James's room," Lily said.

"I'm awake," Kacie said, shooting out of bed.

"Maybe they were just talking," Gigi suggested.

"Since when have Nancie and James ever talked in that bedroom?" Lily asked.

"Oh c'mon Lily," Gigi urged. "James would never cheat on you. How do you know Nancie didn't just walk in by herself? She knows the password. I'm sure James didn't invite her in."

"He is so over half dating bimbos who mean nothing to him," Kacie said. "He wouldn't screw up what you two have."

Lily shrugged. "Fine, but she was in his room wasn't she? And he didn't tell me about her."

"When was he supposed to tell you?" Gigi asked. "When you were yelling at him? Or when you were completely avoiding him?"

"And he had the nerve to tell me that I had no reason to be mad at him for the things he said to me. He said that if anyone was angry, it should be him," Lily said. "And then he goes and has Nancie in his room. What the hell?"

"He told us today that he was going to make up with you today. Doesn't that mean something?" Gigi asked.

"Yeah," Lily said. "It means he's tried of not having someone to snog with."

"You know that's not true," Kacie said.

"Whatever," Lily said. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"You are an ass," Remus muttered, confirming Sasha's words.

"Oh come on! There was no need for her to call me that," Sirius cried out. "I wasn't that bad."

"Hey Peter!" Remus called out, waving him over. "If you were a girl and a guy went up to you and told you that you had a great rack, what would you do?"

"Slap him and call him an ass," Peter said. Remus smirked up at Sirius.

"Yes, yes. I see what you're saying," Sirius said slowly, thinking about it. "But I'm gonna get a second opinion."

"Second opinion?" Remus questioned. "It would be a fourth opinion."

Sirius smiled as he saw Kacie walk in. "Hey Kace!" Sirius cried out. Kacie walked over to them.

"Hey guys," she said.

"You have a great rack," Sirius said.

Kacie looked at him disgustedly. "You're an ass."

"Hmm…that seems to be the main consensus around here," Sirius said as Remus and Peter were practically rolling on the floor laughing.

"And if you're gonna hit on anyone," Kacie said. "Try hitting on Gigi. She's the one you want."

"You guys are never gonna let that go huh?" Sirius muttered.

"Nope," Kacie said with a grin.

"Well what about you? You're madly in love with Remus," Sirius said.

"What?" Remus asked, looking up from his book.

"What?" Kacie questioned, this obviously being the first time she's heard this.

"Oh, you didn't know that Remus?" Sirius asked.

"No, I didn't," Remus said. "Mainly because Iknow you made it up."

Sirius pouted. "How come no one takes me seriously?"

"Because you play a prank a day, don't do homework, and think girls are like toys," Kacie said.

"I don't think girls are like toys," Sirius said. "I get bored with toys easily…but I will never get bored of girls."

"The day you're bored of girls is the day you actually do your homework," Remus muttered.

"Speaking of toys," Sirius said. "Who wants to play twister?"

Kacie looked at the other two. "Please tell me he's kidding."

"You'd think that…" Remus said.

"I don't know what was going through your mother's head when she called you Sirius," Kacie said. "Was Goofball taken by another family member?"

Just then, James walked into the room. "Hey James," the group greeted.

"What would you say to me if you were a girl and I told you that you had a great rack?" Sirius asked.

"I'd say, thanks so much, wanna go make out in the closest broom closet?" James said with a grin.

Remus, Peter, and Kacie all said, "You're an ass."

"I knew I should have asked you first," Sirius said to James, giving him a high five.

"Now, can we please get back to work?" Remus asked, reopening his book.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius said with a groan as Peter, Kacie, and James all took out their books.

A few minutes passed and Sirius turned to the others. "I'm bored…who wants cake?"

"We're studying," Remus muttered, not even bothering to look up.

"Cake now, study later," Sirius insisted.

"This test is a huge part of our grade Si," James noted.

"I want cake!" Sirius cried out.

"How old are we? Four?" Peter asked.

"If you shut up and let us study right now, I'll get cake with you this weekend. Cake, ice cream, cookies, and anything else that will leave you sick all weekend," Kacie said.

Sirius pouted. "Fine…but pie better be included."

"Of course," Kacie said, going back to her work.

Several seconds passed before Sirius spoke up. "So...what about the cake I want now?"

Four quills were violently thrown at him. "I'll take that as a no," Sirius muttered.

James took a deep breath and walked into the classroom where the prefect meeting was to be held in twenty minutes. Lily heard him walk in behind her but didn't look up. In fact, she didn't even acknowledge his existence. James sighed and gathered his parchment and quills and sat in the opposite corner preparing for the meeting. He kept looking up at Lily, but she refused to turn around.

After several minutes James couldn't take it anymore. He looked up, staring straight at Lily's back, and said, "I love you."

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ooooooh, what's Lily gonna say next? how's James gonna react? are they gonna make up or continue to avoid each other?

review to find out!