Don't Let Your Guard Down
chapter 27
i've been sooooooooooooooo busy being a camp counselor. i'm so sorry that i don't have enough time to update that often. but here you go!
disclaimer: this is the 27th chapter. i think you know who i am and who i'm definitely not.
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"Hey Gi," Kacie said as she walked into the private quarters of James and Lily.
"It's a Saturday night, what are you doing here?" Lily questioned, not having gotten out of her pajamas all day.
"Hanging out with you guys," Gigi said, plopping herself onto the floor.
"Why?" Kacie asked.
"What kind of question is that?" Gigi questioned. "Because you're my best friends."
"But Saturday night is usually Jesse's time," Kacie said.
"Well not tonight," Gigi said with a shrug.
"Oh…so what's Jesse up to tonight?" Kacie questioned.
Gigi shrugged. "Not sure."
"Who's he with?" Lily wondered.
"What is this?" Gigi cried out. "An inquiry? An investigation? Twenty questions?"
Lily and Kacie exchanged glances. "Hmm…is something wrong Gi?" Lily asked.
"That's another question," Gigi pointed. Lily and Kacie gave her a look. "Jesse and I broke up."
"Aww Gigi," Lily and Kacie said. "Are you okay?"
Gigi just shrugged it off. "I'm fine."
"Because I can find a dart board and we can put his picture up on it," Lily suggested.
Gigi laughed. "No…you can continue to use the dart board for James's face."
"Oh thank god," Lily said, breathing out. "I'm not ready to give it up."
"So what happened?" Kacie asked Gigi.
"He just said it wasn't working," Gigi said. "But whatever, it doesn't matter."
"Oh come on, you've been going out for almost two months. I don't believe that you're not at least a little bit hurt," Lily said.
Gigi looked down at her hands. "It's easier just not to think about it."
"Well, here's something to think about. At least you had great sex before it ended," Kacie said.
"Well if he did, it wasn't with me," Gigi said.
"What?"
"We didn't have sex."
"What?" Lily cried out. "You didn't have sex? But it's what you do! It's right up there with eating meals!"
"He was different," Gigi said. "He was special. He's not like all the one night stands I've had."
Sirius entered just then and looked at the girls suspiciously. "You're talking about sex, aren't you."
The girls just all stared at him. "How the hell did you know that?"
"I can tell by the looks on your faces," Sirius said.
"So you can tell just by looking at a girl if she's a C-cup, you can tell just by looking at us that we're talking about sex, what else can you do?" Lily asked. "Can you tell just by looking at me what I ate for breakfast? Or how about what grade I got on a test?"
"I can tell when you're being sarcastic," Sirius said. Lily stuck her tongue out at Sirius. "Well, I'm just here to get something and I'll be out of-" Sirius paused just noticing that Gigi was there. "Where'd you come from?"
"Well…when a mommy and a daddy really love each other, they get together and-" Gigi started.
"I'm sorry I asked," Sirius muttered. "I just thought you'd be out with-"
"So how about that something you're supposed to be getting?" Lily asked quickly.
"Yeah, we're not leaving," Gigi said. "So don't even think about trying to use this couch for whatever you want to do with your girlfriend."
Sirius glared at her and went into James's room. Gigi groaned. "I'm so glad I punched that guy."
Lily spit out the water she just took a sip of. "That's where Sirius got his black eye and bloody lip?"
Gigi beamed. "It was an accident?"
"Oh bullshit!" Kacie cried out, creeping closer to Gigi on the couch. "I can't believe you beat the guy up!"
"He was being a jerk," Gigi said.
"Hey Lily?" Sirius asked, walking into the room. He stopped when he saw the guilty grin on Gigi's face and the evil grins on Lily and Kacie's faces. "What?"
"I know you're stupid, but you're definitely not stupid enough to run into a wall," Lily said.
Sirius gave her a blank look.
"How's it feel to get beat up by a girl?" Kacie asked with a laugh.
"I didn't get beat up by a girl," Sirius said. "I got beat up by Giliba."
"I'm still in the room," Gigi noted.
"What's your point?" Sirius asked. Gigi just narrowed her eyebrows at him. "Anyway, I'm out of here."
"With the invisibility cloak?" Lily asked.
"We're not doing anything against the rules with it," Sirius said.
"Do you expect me to believe that?" Lily asked.
"No," Sirius said. "But I expect you to take my wit and good looks into consideration."
"What wit and good looks?" Lily asked.
"You're being sarcastic again," Sirius said and then looked at her harder. "And you had toast for breakfast."
"Am I shallow?" Sirius asked, plopping down on the floor of his room looking up at his three best friends.
Remus, Peter, and James exchanged worried looks and quickly looked down at their feet.
Sirius stared at them. "Okay, I said that out loud, right?"
The boys just stared harder at their shoes.
"Is that a no?" Sirius asked.
Remus finally answered. "Let's just say that we're not looking down at our shoes because we like the color." Remus turned to look at James. "Although, your shoes are pretty cool."
"So that means you think I'm shallow?" Sirius asked.
The boys all stared down at the ground again.
"Hello?" Sirius cried out.
"Don't make us say it Padfoot," James urged.
"I'm not shallow!" Sirius cried out. "Ooh, I do like those shoes. Can I have them? Oh who am I kidding, you'll just give them to me."
James gave him a 'see? this is exactly what we mean' look.
"Why are you suddenly bringing up this new-fangled query of your superficiality?" Remus asked.
Sirius stared at him and then turned to James. "I have no idea what he just said."
"You've never inquired if you were one-dimensional til this present moment," Remus reworded.
Sirius looked back at James. "I'm still lost."
"Why are you all of a sudden wondering if you're shallow or not!" Remus cried out, obviously frustrated.
"Oooh," Sirius said. "Why didn't you just say that before?"
Remus hit his head against his bedpost a few times.
"I wouldn't do that," Peter warned Remus. "You're the only one in this room left with brain cells."
"I'm the only one in this room that ever had brain cells," Remus said.
"I'm just gonna try and not be shallow from now on," Sirius decided with a shrug.
Peter turned to Remus. "At least hit your head against a pillow," Peter said. "Then we won't have to worry about losing our smart friend."
"Hey! I can be smart!" James exclaimed. "Ooh look, there's a bug on the ceiling. How cute."
"Hello!" Sirius cried out. "Can we get back to me?"
"How's that whole trying not to be shallow thing working out for ya?" Remus teased.
Sirius sighed. "I walked up to this group of girls…really hot girls I must add…and asked if they had an extra quill," Sirius said. "And then I told one of them they had a cute pink shirt on."
"And she called you shallow from that?" Peter asked. "That doesn't make sense."
"I know! All I said was that I liked it because it was really revealing," Sirius said. "And then I told her in a past life, she totally would have had sex with me."
Remus just stared incredulously at Sirius. "Do you know the meaning of shallow?"
"How does Lucie put up with you?" James asked.
"Because I'm so damn hot," Sirius said with a grin. "It's a good thing she's hot too."
"Seriously, do I need to get you a dictionary?" Remus asked.
"Ew, only dorks read the dictionary," Sirius said.
Remus shook his head in disbelief. "Can't I just hit my head against the bedpost five more times?"
James looked over at him. "I'm about to hit my head against your bedpost."
Sirius leaned against his bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Whatever, let's stop talking about this."
Remus practically choked on air. "You want to stop talking about you? Are you okay? That's your favorite topic of conversation!"
"I didn't say we had to stop talking about me," Sirius said. "I just want to stop talking about shallowness."
"Yeah, let's talk about what Peter did this weekend," Remus said with an evil grin.
"What did he do?" James asked, turning to him slowly, getting up from the ground to go sit on a bed.
"Ate pizza," Peter said with a shrug.
"He had sex!" Remus burst out.
"And ate pizza," Peter added quickly.
James fell onto the ground in surprise and Sirius turned to Peter with his jaw dropped. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because I didn't think you'd care that I ate pizza," Peter explained. "…it was pepperoni."
"Pepperoni? And you didn't give me a piece! I should hurt you!" Sirius cried out.
"Okay, can we talk about Peter having sex and get away from the topic of pizza?" Remus asked.
"Fine," Sirius said with a pout. "But you owe me a slice of pepperoni pizza."
James turned to Peter. "Why didn't you tell us about you having sex?"
"Because you hate the girl," Peter said with a shrug.
"You had sex with Giliba!" Sirius cried out.
"NO!" Peter exclaimed.
"Oh c'mon. We don't hate any girls in this school," James said.
"Patsy Millions?" Peter asked.
"Oh yeah, we really do hate that girl," Sirius said. "Well who cares, it's about time you had sex."
"Free dinner at Hogsmeade for Peter," James said with a grin.
"What?" Peter asked.
"When you lose your virginity, we give you a free dinner," Sirius said with a grin.
"I'm a virgin!" James exclaimed.
"James, for the hundredth time, you are not getting another free dinner," Sirius insisted. "And you certainly aren't a virgin."
"Come on!" James urged. "I want a free dinner!"
"I'll give you a free dinner when you and Lily get back together," Sirius offered.
"Then again, I can easily pay for my own dinner," James said.
"Oh c'mon Prongs," Sirius said. "You and Lily are meant to be. You are Lily are destined to be together. You two are-"
"Just because you are betting Kacie ten galleons that we get back together in the next week does not mean you can convince me to start dating Lily again," James said.
"Fine," Sirius said, slumping down. "But you're paying for Peter's dinner."
"Okay, I can't do this!" Kacie cried out. "Handling break ups with both my best friends is impossible! Couldn't one of your boyfriends waited until the other one was okay to break up with you?"
"Kace, I'm fine," Gigi insisted. "Lily on the other hand…"
"Hey!" Lily snapped. "I'm fine too!"
"You're been sobbing into the same tissue for an hour," Kacie said.
"And that doesn't scream 'fine' to you?" Lily questioned. She looked down at the tissue. "Kleenex was James's favorite brand of tissue," Lily cried out, bursting into tears once again.
"Okay, now you're being silly," Kacie said,
"James always called me silly," Lily exclaimed, letting the tears come.
"I think almost the entire population of the world uses the word silly," Gigi offered.
Lily looked up from her tissue with red puffy eyes. "It's gonna get better, right?"
"Of course," Gigi lied. "And if it doesn't, you break something of his!"
"I like that idea," Lily said. "Should I break his leg or his arm?"
"I was thinking more like his watch or his broomstick," Gigi said.
Lily gave a small smile. "Go get his watch. It's probably in the drawer of the desk next to his bed."
Gigi grinned evilly and jumped up. Kacie cried out, "You guys can't break something expensive! That's illegal…and just wrong!"
"C'mon Kace, lemme have a little bit of fun," Gigi said.
"But this is supposed to be about Lily," Kacie explained.
"Well, I don't have Jesse's watch. This is as much fun as I get," Gigi said.
Kacie paused. "Okay…" Kacie said. "But break his hair dryer instead. Hit him where it hurts!"
Gigi grinned from ear to ear and ran into James's room. When she came out, she was holding a box. "Is this yours Lily?"
"No," Lily said. "Why do you ask?"
"Because it says Lily on the box," Gigi said.
"Then I guess it is mine," Lily said, reaching out her hand for Gigi to give her the box. She opened it and gasped. It was a heart locket with a diamond lily on the front. She opened it and tried hard not to burst into tears again. A picture of James was on the left side, and a picture of Lily was on the right side. And on the back, it said Happy 18th Birthday Lils. Love, James.
Lily just stared at it for the longest time, biting her lip because she wasn't sure if she wanted to throw the locket at a wall or cry because of it.
"So…"Gigi said slowly. "Can we break his hair dryer now?"
Lily looked up from the locket. "Where'd you find this?"
"In his desk drawer," Gigi said and then took a better look at it. "Is that from James?"
Lily nodded weakly. "I'm guessing he bought it before we broke up."
It grew quiet for several seconds. "Oh hell, let's break the watch and the hair dryer!" Kacie cried out.
"What are you doing in a library on a Friday night?" Sirius asked.
Gigi looked up. "What normal people do in a library."
Sirius gave her a blank stare.
"Study," Gigi responded.
Sirius gave her another blank stare.
"It's what people do to get good grades," Gigi continued.
Sirius just kept staring at her.
"Good grades is what you need-" Gigi said and then stopped herself. "Oh forget it. The more intriguing question is what are you doing in a library?"
"I do know how to study. And I can read and it requires books from the library to do so. I can be smart!" Sirius cried out and then he decided to add, "And I am not shallow!"
Gigi looked at him with a frightened look on her face. "I'll get back to how dead wrong you are on the first three things you said. But where the hell did 'I am not shallow' come from?"
Sirius sighed. "Mind if I sit?"
"Yes."
Sirius sat down.
"Why do you ask if you're just gonna do it anyway?" Gigi muttered.
"You think I'm shallow right," Sirius said, ignoring her question.
Gigi let out a burst of laughter. "Do you even have to ask?"
"Well-"
"You're also arrogant, annoying, a player, an asshole, and no matter what you do, your hair will stick straight up," Gigi said.
"Let's just stick to one topic," Sirius said. "And my hair does NOT stick straight up!"
"That's what upset you about my remark?"
Sirius shrugged. "At least you're noticing my hair," Sirius said with a grin.
"I also notice the other four things I said," Gigi pointed out.
"Yes, but my hair is my best feature," Sirius said.
"Really? I'd say your big head is your best feature," Gigi argued.
"Oooh, so you've noticed my head, have you?" Sirius taunted.
"It's kind of hard not to," Gigi said.
Sirius pouted and got back to the regular topic. "Well anyway, some girl called me shallow."
"You are," Gigi pointed out bluntly.
"Yes, but this girl doesn't even know me."
"If she called you shallow, it sounds to me like she knows you pretty well," Gigi said. Sirius gave her a stern look. Gigi sighed, "Who's the girl?"
"I don't know her name."
"Well, what does she look like?" Gigi asked.
"I have no idea. I was too busy staring at her boobs," Sirius answered.
"And she had the nerve to call you shallow?" Gigi remarked sarcastically.
"They were huge! Can you blame me?" Sirius asked.
"You do realize that we've gone a whole three minutes without yelling at each other, right?" Gigi asked. Sirius nodded. "Until now!" Gigi gathered her books and slammed them shut. "You are the biggest asshole on this planet!"
"Wait, Giliba!" Sirius yelled. Gigi groaned and stopped, but she didn't turn away. "I forgot that you weren't James."
Gigi turned around with an unsure look on her face. "I can see the resemblance. I mean, James doesn't have boobs, a high pitched voice, or wear skirts and make up, but other than that, we're exactly the same."
"What makes you think James doesn't wear skirts?" Sirius teased. Gigi tried hard not to crack a smile. "I mean that that comment was meant for James. I tend to forget who I'm around when I make remarks like that. If he was here, he'd just laugh and high five me."
"Well I'm not James! And there's no way in hell that I'm going to reward you with a high five when you sit here and talk about a girl as if she's a toy, as if she's not a real person, and as if she's just a showcase for you!"
"Well fine, don't reward me with a high five," Sirius said. "But how 'bout you reward me with a kiss?"
"UGH!" Gigi cried out, stomping out of the room.
Sirius got up to leave when it dawned on him. The moment he came up to her, she didn't ask him to go to hell or to leave the room. In fact, when he attempted to have a conversation, she actually listened. He started to smile.
James walked in and noticed Sirius staring off in space smiling. "Hm, that's strange," James said to himself.
"What's strange?" Peter asked coming up from behind him.
"Sirius is smiling," James whispered.
"So?" Peter asked. "What's so strange about that?"
"He's in a library," James noted.
"He's probably dreaming about having sex with a bunch of women," Peter said.
James turned to him. "He has a girlfriend."
"Well…then he's probably dreaming about his girlfriend having sex with a bunch of women," Peter said with a shrug.
"Hey guys," Remus said, walking in just then. "What's up? Why are y-" Remus paused. "Why's Sirius smiling?"
Peter and James shrugged. "Either his girlfriend is having sex with other girls or he was abducted by aliens."
Remus just stared at them incredulously. James then said, "Well…we haven't actually asked him yet."
"I figured that," Remus said.
"What's going on?" Kacie asked. "Why are you standing in the-" Kacie stopped. "Why's Sirius smiling?"
"Either his girlfriend is having sex with other girls, he was abducted by aliens, or he pictured McGonagall saying he doesn't have to do homework for the rest of his time at Hogwarts," Remus noted.
Kace gave them all a blank stare. "So…I'm guessing you haven't asked him yet?"
"Nope."
Sirius looked up at that moment and noticed his four friends standing in the doorway. "What are you guys doing?"
"I'm dreaming about my girlfriend having sex with other girls," Remus answered.
"I'm thinking about how cool it would be to be abducted by aliens," James said.
"And I'm thinking about McGonagall canceling all homework assignments," Peter said.
Sirius looked at Kacie who quickly responded with, "I'm thinking about cake."
Sirius gave them all a strange look and then smiled widely. "I do love cake."
"Chocolate cake? Peanut butter cookies? Vanilla ice cream with lots and lots of whipped cream?" a voice asked.
Lily stopped eating and turned around with a mouth full of whipped cream. "Hi Sirius." At least, that's what he thought he heard. It was hard to tell what she was saying with food in her mouth.
"Sounds like comfort food," Sirius said, grabbing a spoon and jumping up to sit on the counter.
Lily gave him a guilty smile and handed him her ice cream so he could have a bite. "I don't need comfort in food," Lily said quickly (a little too quickly). "I'm not in need of any comfort at all."
Sirius looked at her. "If this ice cream wasn't so damn good, I'd argue that," Sirius said, and then stuck an entire spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.
Lily laughed at him and took a small bite of chocolate cake. "So how's Lucie doing?"
Sirius gave her a wary look.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Just because my relationship deteriorated doesn't mean I can't talk about other people's relationships."
"Well…she's good," Sirius said with a shrug. "We're good actually."
"Found another place to take her bra off?" Lily joked.
"Don't taunt me Evans," Sirius said. "I have a full bowl of ice cream."
Lily laughed. "Good point." Lily looked down at her place. "Although, I would just retaliate with chocolate cake."
Sirius looked at her fork full of chocolate cake and put down his spoon. "Good point."
Lily gave an evil grin and flung the chocolate cake at him anyway. Sirius shrieked. "How come whenever I'm in the kitchens, I tend to wear the food instead of eat it." Lily laughed and threw another forkful of chocolate cake at him.
"That's it!" Sirius exclaimed, taking two handfuls of whipped cream and slapped them onto Lily's cheeks. Sirius burst out laughing at the sight of her. "You look like Santa Clause!"
"Well you look like you have dog poop on you," Lily said, looking at the chocolate cake on Sirius's robes.
Sirius grabbed another handful of whipped cream and threw it at her.
Lily screeched and grabbed another forkful of chocolate cake but froze mid-throw and just stared at the doorway. Sirius saw her frozen face and slowly turned to look at the place she was staring. Sirius gulped when he saw James standing there.
"Hey James," Sirius said weakly. James just gave him a stern look. Sirius looked down at him and Lily and then back at James. "Oh look, this isn't what it looks like…"
James didn't say anything.
"Well this is awkward," Sirius muttered. He jumped off the counter. "Thank god I can leave." And Sirius practically zoomed out of the kitchens.
"So…um," James said, having no idea what to say. He looked down at the food Lily was eating. "You have something against healthy food?"
Lily laughed nervously. "You only live once, right?"
James just looked at her and then sighed. He started heading for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Sirius is right," James said. "This is awkward. And thank god I can also leave."
"James, wait!" Lily exclaimed.
"Lily, this is stupid," James argued. "We are never going to be friends. We are never going to be able to be around each other. We-"
"You don't believe that," Lily insisted.
"Let me rephrase…I can never be around you," James said, and then turned around to walk away.
"So that's it?" Lily cried out helplessly. "We go from being together to nothing? That doesn't seem fair! There's nothing I can do?"
James just sighed and gave Lily an extremely hurt look. "I don't know," he mumbled.
"Tell me," Lily said. "Do you think we'll ever get to the point where we can be friends?"
It took James a few seconds to answer before he whispered, "No," with a tremble in his voice and walked away.
"Am I doing the right thing?" James asked, pacing back and forth in the room.
Remus glanced over at James's clothes and books piled in the corner and turned back to look at him. "No."
James stopped pacing and looked at him. "You're just tired of me sleeping in here."
"Yes."
James groaned and started pacing again. James knocked on the bathroom door and screamed over the loud rushing shower water, "Am I being an idiot?"
"Now? Or all the time?" Sirius yelled over the water. "Oh what does it matter? The answer's yes."
James went back to pacing. "I'm sorry I asked."
"James, can I ask you a question?" asked Remus. James stopped pacing and looked in his direction so Remus continued, "What do you think is the most important factor of a relationship?"
"Sex."
Remus dropped his head. "James, and I say this from my heart-"
"Oh no, not your heart," James said. "I'm always wrong when your heart speaks up."
"You're a prat," Remus said.
"See? I'm wrong once again."
Sirius came out of the bathroom just then with a towel wrapped around his waist. He leaned against the doorway and listened to the conversation.
"Do you trust Lily?" Remus asked.
James nodded his head.
"Does she trust you?"
James stopped dead in his tracks. Slowly he shook his head.
Remus leaned back in his bed, "There's your answer."
"What? That's like the worst advice you've ever given," Sirius said. He turned to James. "Is the sex good?"
James rolled his eyes but nodded.
"Then there's your answer," Sirius said.
"Sirius, when's the last time a girl accused you of cheating and you weren't cheating?" Remus demanded to know, trying to prove that he has no idea what James is going through.
"Never," Sirius said. "When girls accuse me of cheating, I usually am."
Remus groaned. "When's the last time you were in love with a girl who didn't believe a word you said?"
Sirius didn't move for at least a minute and then very slowly turned to Remus. "I get your point." Sirius turned to James. "As much as it sucks…you're doing the right thing."
Remus and James stared at him. "Say what?" James dared to ask.
Sirius grabbed his clothes and went back into the bathroom. He leaned against the closed door and sighed. He was in love with Gigi a year ago and she didn't believe a word he said…and it felt awful.
Remus turned to James. "Did he just agree with me?"
"I think all that hot water got to his head," James said.
"You saying he didn't agree with me?"
"I'm saying Sirius will never agree with you," James said. "Unless you admit that he's the hottest guy at Hogwarts."
"A little help?" a voice asked, as Lily came around the corner. She saw a split bag and tons of books on the floor.
"Wow, you read almost as much as I do," Lily said, stooping down to help the guy. She turned to look at the face and stopped picking the books up. "Oh…hi Jesse."
Jesse looked at her and his face grew white. He was embarrassed to have asked her to help him with his stuff. "Hi."
Lily quickly grabbed some of his books and shoved them into his hands. "I gotta go."
"Wait," Jesse said. Lily turned around to look at him. "How's Gigi?"
"If you were still together with her, you'd know how she was," Lily said sharply.
"I know," Jesse mumbled. "But what-"
"Why'd it happen anyway? She wasn't hot enough for you?" Lily asked. "Or wait, lemme guess, you heard about her reputation and then was surprised when she didn't jump into bed with you the first night? Or you were just bored and you've moved on to the next bimbo."
"Wait, what?" Jesse asked.
"Why the hell did you break up with her?" Lily cried out, taking her anger over the break-up with James out on Jesse. "It's not working is the worst excuse ever!"
"Lily-" Jesse started.
"Oh, don't you Lily me!" Lily cried out.
"But isn't Lily your name?" Jesse asked, receiving a glare from Lily. "I didn't break up with Gigi."
"What?" Lily exclaimed. "But she told us the other day that you two have broken up."
"We are broken up," Jesse continued. "But I didn't break up with her. She broke up with me."
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