Ghosts of the Past

Misty's lips were still pressed so gently to this strange man's. She found the kiss to be enjoyable and didn't want to break it. Even though he didn't really respond, even though he didn't wrap his arms around her in an embrace pulling her closer, and even though he kiss her back she enjoyed it. His lips were so soft compared to the rest of his body, corded with muscle, his skin rough from the elements of countless worlds he had visited. Even the way he acted was hard, how he killed and the expression while doing it. His lips, even his eyes in truth, were a contradiction to all of that roughness.

"Mom what is Misty doing," Kahlua asked her head tilted to the side as if to get a better view of what was going on.

Ezra was at a loss. How did you explain to a four-year old about a kiss, and the meaning behind it? How could what a kiss truly was ever be put into words, it was something that was impossible to truly capture with just words. She finally settled on, "Well Kahlua Misty is trying to help him as you asked. She is hoping to find him."

"Really? How come her lips keep moving against his then? I always thought when you looked for something you looked with your eyes," Kahlua asked innocently. She was just a child after all.

"Well," Ezra started softly as always, her voice never got above soft. "You see she is talking to him, in a very unique way."

"Hmm," Kahlua mused. She always liked learning new things, it was always fun. She had an idea then turning to her mother, "Do you think she could teach me to talk like that. I want to help people too!"

Ezra nearly choked at those words. What was her daughter thinking? She couldn't learn that, at least not right now. She was too young; she was just a young girl. Ezra put a hand to her forehead as she heard laughter. She lifted her gaze and saw Magno laughing with the rest of everyone. Even Belvedere, Amarone, and Celtic. Her face colored and the laughter intensified.

Kahlua was looking around puzzled. Grownups really didn't make any sense that was for sure. She had asked a simple question and everyone laughed. She huffed putting her hands on her hips and watched everyone. Oh well, she thought, she didn't need to learn how to talk like that. Maybe it was just for Misty to know, how to do.

"Captain," Parfet voice sounded and the captain turned her gaze from the stranger and Misty.

"Yes what is it Parfet," Magno asked sounding slightly annoyed.

"Well umm, you see, I seem to have found something down here in the engine room and I don't know what it is. It has weird symbols on it that I can't read and," she never got to finish as another voice, an engineer came on. "Another screen went black!"

Just then as those last words were uttered by the engineer, the stranger's eyes opened ever so slowly. Something had drawn him back from the world of nightmares he had found himself in. Something or someone he realized looking into the beautiful eyes of a girl. It was the same girl who had brought him his food that day. She had brought him back he knew that. He noticed everyone watching him and despite himself he felt his cheeks grow warm.

Her eyes grew wide as she realized that he was back with them. She realized then that her heartbeat was racing as she looked into his eyes. Settle down heart, she thought to herself. He slowly started to kiss her back though and she felt lighter than air. It was great! He was kissing her back! She then realized where she was and broke the kiss off quickly as she stepped back quickly.

He smiled slightly at her and her cheeks colored. She turned away her hands against her cheeks. How could she have done that with everyone here? True she had done that to Hibiki but it was more of an impulse act. She didn't even know why she had kissed him for sure and then to be caught by him. She felt like a child in a way, and yet . . . when he had kissed her back it had made her feel special.

"Oh, look Misty's blushing," exclaimed Celtic pointing with a smile on her face.

"Oh shut up you," Misty fired back, Q-Chan forming into a heart though without Misty noticing.

Everyone was smiling at her as the engineers came back to them. "Umm is anyone listening," Parfet asked looking at the captain who had her hand on her head.

"Go on Parfet."

"Well, the item is making me quite nervous with the weird symbols that keep shifting. I have an idea of what it might be; it is after all about that size most use for bombs."

The strangers eyes hardened and he looked at Parfet, he learned her name was from the captains slip. "Describe the symbols to me," he demanded.

"Umm captain?"

"Go on Parfet, tell him. He might know something."

"Well the first one is a circle with spikes, now it's a triangle with small circles inside that keep fracturing into smaller half circles, and . . ."

"Get out of there!"

Everyone looked at him frowning. Why was he so excited about the device? What was wrong with him they wondered? "What?"

"I said get out of there now! It is a bomb and one that will go off shortly! Get away and get everyone else away as well," he yelled as he turned to Bart. "Find a planet nearby to land on." How the hell did he know about the weapon he wondered, or what the signs meant?

"Captain," Bart inquired though his gaze was still on BC. The fool didn't know when to leave well enough alone even after so many years.

"Do it," she commanded.

"There is a planet close by Captain. It will take us an hour to get there," Ezra said from her seat her soft voice carrying across the distance.

"Okay head there Bart. Everyone else get prepared for an explosion. Engineering I want you ready to put out any fires that may start as a result of the explosion and if you need help recruit it. Gascogne I want you to find a way to secure the weapons. We can't have those things blowing up inside the Nirvana. Duero prepare sick bay you may have a few more customers. Everyone knows your jobs so get to them," the captain yelled and everyone started to scramble around.

It took no time at all for everyone to make it to their assigned posts, and prepare for the worst. BC was at her station her heart racing along with everyone else's. It seemed no matter what they did they were always fighting, and fighting battles that were not easy to win.

Bart was pushing the Nirvana as hard as he could and the rest of the crew on the bridge were silently cheering him on. They may pick on him but deep down they knew that he was invaluable to the crew.

The stranger wandered back to his cell though went into a different one knowing full well that his wouldn't work without some work. He sat down on the bed and waited. The bars came into existence again and he closed his eyes wondering why he was here and how it was he knew things that he couldn't remember.

Everyone was prepared for the worst when after some time they all heard the explosion, and felt it. The Nirvana was rocked with the impact and the engines were shut down instantly. They had more than enough speed though to make it to the planet. They slowly descended and crashed into the ground, Bart finding it difficult to control the ship at all for a better landing.

The rest of the day was spent helping the wounded and scouting around the ship. None knew where they were but they had found one thing. A city that was devoid of life and had apparently been that way for many years. In truth it seemed that there was little if any intelligent life on the planet and it made the crew nervous.

Gascogne was doing her job and helping out in the machine room. She was also overseeing the weapons making sure none were damaged and any that were, she disposed of personally. "Well it never ends does it? I guess we can be happy for the work though," Gascogne said around the metal piece in her mouth.

Everyone seemed to be busy as night started to fall. Slowly the crew started to drift off into sleep and whatever their dream world had to offer. For most it would be dreams of home and loved ones, dreams that bring happiness. For one lone girl though, Kahlua her dreams quickly became nightmares.

In his cell the stranger lay asleep. BC, Meia, and the others had come to make sure that he was properly secure before they went to their own beds. The problem was he was already asleep when they had arrived. It seemed to them that war, death, and the explosion had affected him little. It was almost as if it was part of a daily routine for him. The others had walked away but Meia had remained for a couple minutes just gazing at the man. He is kind of handsome she thought to herself. He fought on our behalf, much like Hibiki and the others. Yet here is still a prisoner more so than Hibiki had been after his first fight. We really haven't changed as much as we would like to think. Meia sighed heavily realizing that the enemy had bested her and that she would need to undergo some more training. Her head dropped as she walked away. She had let everyone down and they had nearly paid with their lives. As she walked back to her room a single tear trailed down her cheek.

"Akarik," a girl's voice called and Akarik lifted his gaze from the painting he was working on. It was of the sunset as the sun fell below the crest of trees in the distance and how the light haloed his subject, his little sister. "I'm tired can we go now?"

"Sure, I just need to put that famous smile of yours on and I will be finished, Lilly," Akarik said as the wind picked up slightly and played with his long hair. His hair was black, and yet half was white, an unusual combination and one that had made him a target as he had grown up. People were always looking for a reason to single someone out and ridicule them, hurt them, and poke fun at them. Akarik had never cared though. He was what he was and he had accepted that fact and his family loved him, as did his fiancé.

"Akarik," she whined as she stomped her foot upon seeing him not painting. "Hurry up!"

"Alright, alright," placated her as he held his hands out chuckling at his sisters' boredom. She had to always be doing something or she was bored like so many others. Right now he knew she would rather be with her friends than with her brother but she had agreed anyway not wanting to hurt his feelings. He knew that much about her. She was too kind and generous and one day he guessed that was going to get her into trouble.

He finished his painting and the two of them went home. He sat down on a chair in the living room and smiled at his sister as she ran about the house crying, "I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be so late!"

He loved his sister so much. He even remembered when she used to sit with him when she was younger and play with his long hair. She loved it he was like her own living doll. She used to comb it for hours and braid it and do whatever else she wanted to with it. Once she even asked him, "Don't ever let your hair get short okay brother."

"For you I'll keep it long how's that."

"Great!"

The stranger awoke with a start his heart beating normally but a tear glistened on his cheek in the dim light. He reached up and brushed it aside frowning. What was that dream he wondered. Was it a message? Was it his past? Was he the man Akarik? Did he have a sister? He curled his hands into fists and placed them against his head trying to force himself to remember. Why couldn't he remember? Was his past that horrible that he had forgotten it completely? He slowly reached back and pulled his long hair forward. It was long, longer than some women's coming down to between his shoulder blades. He sighed heavily pushing his hair back into place and sat looking up at the ceiling. Sleep held nothing but nightmares for him, and in truth he didn't want to face those again. Nightmares and questions. He didn't want to face anything like that, so he decided to stay awake.

He heard tiny footsteps approaching him and he turned his gaze from the ceiling to the person the steps belonged to. He saw the girl, Kahlua coming towards him. She had on a nightgown, carrying her pillow, her blanket and what looked to be a favorite stuffed animal. Her eyes were puffy from lack of sleep though she looked as if she was about ready to collapse from exhaustion. She seemed scared as well and he sighed inwardly.

"Ummmmm," she began.

He smiled kindly at her, "What is it Kahlua?"

"Well umm, see, I . . . can't sleep," she whispered bringing her finger to mouth and nibbling on the tip in nervousness. "Could, ummm, could I stay in here with you," she asked hopefully.

He smiled at her realizing that the day's events had been the cause of nightmares for her. "Nightmares?"

"Yeah," she answered and she seemed ashamed of herself. He felt bad for her.

"Don't feel bad about having nightmares Kahlua. Everyone has them, even I have them," he started as he sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. He saw her looking at him and knew that she was hoping he would let her stay there with him for the night though he didn't know how that would go over with the crew. Besides how was she going to get into his cell anyway?

"You have them too," she asked her gaze dropping again. "Please let me stay in there with you."

"Why don't you go to your mother I'm sure she can help?"

"Well she is working and I don't want to bother her with something so childish."

"Ah I see well how about one of the others on this ship?"

She shook her head. "No they are all busy sleeping and I didn't want to wake them."

"But you wanted to wake me right?" He asked with a smirk.

Her cheeks burned in embarrassment. "Well ummm, you see, umm yeah." She finished lamely.

He chuckled, "Alright you can sleep in here I don't mind. Just so you know though I don't think everyone is going to like this. Besides I can't let you in so unless you can drop the bars . . ."

She nodded her little head her curls falling into her face. "Okay Parfet taught me everything, mostly cause I was hangin around all the time." She moved to the control panel and entered a few things and the bars dropped. He sighed knowing this was not the smartest thing he had ever done but the girl was persistent, as well as brave for her age.

She walked into the cell and he moved back on the bed to give her room. She climbed up onto the bed with no fear only trust and lay down next to him. She looked around and frowned realizing there was no room for her pillow and so she dropped it on the floor.

The stranger lay back down and continued his gazing at the ceiling. He then felt her head on his chest and her little arm thrown over his chest. Her stuffed animal was squished in-between them and her hair was almost in his face. "I hate nightmares," she confessed yawing.

"Most people do," he said softly. "You know nightmares are just another type of dream. Remember that dreams are great things, keep that in your mind as you fall asleep and you will be fine, and blessed with good dreams. Perhaps in your dreams you are a hero, saving people, or maybe you are in your favorite spot watching whatever you love to watch. Perhaps though you are a princess," at those words he felt her smile and a small giggle escaped her. "Just sleep the nightmares won't come again, I'll keep them at bay."

"Thank you stranger," she said curling up closer to him. He dropped his arms down around her almost protectively. It wasn't long until he felt her breath coming evenly from a deep sleep. Once in a while a snore could be heard and he smiled. At least she was sleeping well, and her nightmares seemed to have not come back.

He lifted his head slightly and looked down at her sleeping form. "So young, and yet so smart. You are so innocent yet though, and I hope you never have to become a hero." He pushed the hair out of her face gently and he too slowly drifted off to sleep.

The stranger awoke before Kahlua. She was still sleeping soundly and gazing at her he wished that he had a daughter. She was so peaceful, he just wished he could sit and watch her all day long.

Ezra though was running around the Nirvana with Meia, Peyoro, Jura, and the rest. They were looking for Kahlua and none of them could get it out of their head the thought that maybe something bad happened to her. BC was searching a different part of the ship, Bart as well, and Duero with the engineers was off in another part.

"Kahlua! Where are you," Ezra cried out tears flowing down her face. It wasn't like her daughter to run off like that. She was always in her bed holding her favorite stuffed animal waiting for Ezra. Kahlua just didn't run off.

Misty was running with Ezra, "I'm sure she is alright Ezra. Maybe she is a sleepwalker."

"No, no, Peyoro 2 doesn't sleep walk. Where are you Peyoro 2," Peyoro yelled floating with them. He was at wits end if a robot could have wits. It was debatable if Peyoro had any.

"That not her name, its Kahlua," Ezra yelled at Peyoro out of instinct and annoyance.

"I have an idea," Meia spoke up from where she was running next to Jura, and Barnette.

"What's that Meia," Jura asked as they slowly came to a stop.

"Do you suppose she had a nightmare after all that happened? Maybe she went in search of a place she felt safe. Does anyone know of a place like that," Meia asked. Meia knew that she herself had, had an unpleasant dream thanks to those creatures. She could only imagine what Kahlua must have had for dreams.

Everyone started to think but none could come up with anywhere on the ship if she wasn't with any of them. "I don't know," Ezra cried and her shoulder shook with sobs. Misty wrapped her arms around her gently.

"It's okay Ezra. She wouldn't have left the ship we know that much. She is too smart for that and she . . . wait a minute. She seemed to really like our prisoner."

Everyone's eyes flew open at that. Misty was right it had seemed that Kahlua had taken a shine to the strange man. Maybe just maybe Kahlua was there and all their spirits lifted as they ran to the brig. It took them no time to reach the brig and they rounded the corner running into the room, and they stopped panting.

The sight that greeted them as they entered was a bit unnerving to them and yet they weren't scared at all. Kahlua was in the bed with the strange man and he had his arms wrapped around her protectively. Her head was resting on his chest and she was covered with her favorite pink blanket that had little white bunnies on it.

"KAHLUA," Ezra cried out. Kahlua stirred slightly but kept on sleeping.

"She is sleeping still. She had a rough night dealing with her nightmares," the stranger said calmly.

"She is alright then," Meia said moving into the front taking command.

"Indeed she is lady. She came to me because she didn't want to wake any of you, and bother you."

"How did she get in there?"

"She opened the cell."

"Fine then, we will take her back to her bed now," Meia said businesslike.

Just then Kahlua started to stir. She sat up slowly on the bed and rubbed her eyes trying to clear the sleep away. "Mornin everyone," she sleepily greeted.

"Kahlua what were you thinking! What if he had hurt you, what if he had," Ezra couldn't finish, as fresh sobs rocked her.

Kahlua's face fell. "Sorry mom, I just didn't want to disturb anyone else, and he has such a kind face," Kahlua said smiling up at the stranger and giving him a hug. Misty smiled understanding more than the others. She understood that in a way this man had taken on the role of a father to Kahlua even though none of the others understood that.

"I am sorry for my actions, I should have known better. A prisoner shouldn't be allowed to interact with the crew or their families. I know better but, it was nice to be needed," he said smiling sadly.

Kahlua released him and smiled one last time as she slid off his bed and grabbed her stuff. "Kiss my penguin bye," she asked holding up her stuffed animal.

"Sure," he answered her with a smile and chuckle. He bent forward and kissed the stuffed animal. "Bye penguin. Bye Kahlua."

"Bye stranger," she called as she bounded up to her mother so full of youthful exuberance. Children always had more energy than they needed and never knew what to do with it.

"Have a good day Kahlua," he said laying back down with his arm on his forehead.

Kahlua along with Ezra, Jura, and Barnette went on their way Ezra holding tightly to Kahlua. Jura and Barnette were arguing about whether or not they should punish the man for his transgression. Barnette of course had changed but there was still a bit of her old self still evident. Every now and then she felt that the problems she saw on the Nirvana were the problem of the men.

Jura though argued that everyone had problems and you couldn't be around the same people day in and day out without some problems from time to time. She had changed as well and she really did want to make a baby with a man. She had found out as had most of the women that living with men wasn't impossible it was just extremely difficult. Men were so different, and overbearing, and pushy, and idiotic. Men didn't really like to talk all that much with a woman, and when they did it seemed that it was more of a chore than anything else. Men couldn't even really listen that well but everyone was still learning. She wondered if things would change later. She sighed heavily at Barnette as she took Barnettes' hand and they walked off together. "Oh come on and let it go already," she chided Barnette whose cheeks flushed with embarrassment, as she realized that she had been ranting once again.

The stranger knew that there were still a couple there and so he turned his gaze to look at them. A moved forward and keyed in the code and the bars came into existence again. He smiled at her, "Thanks I feel much safer now."

She just gazed at him. "This is for your own good. Right now we don't know much about you and it is better for everyone if we keep you here." Meia was sorry for doing it though. She felt that this man was in a way a bit like Hibiki. He was a protector, she just felt it.

"I suppose you are right," he paused for a moment. "Can I at least have your names? I would like to know who it is that is looking out for me."

Meia and Misty were both surprised by that statement. "Umm, sure," Misty said her voice holding excitement. "I'm Misty, and this is my big sister Meia."

Meia rocked back slightly by Misty's boldness, and the fact that she still called her big sister. It didn't bother Meia but to tell this man that he would assume they were really sisters.

"Well it is a pleasure to actually meet you now even though our relationship is still a bit shaky, with me being a prisoner and all." He smiled at them though to take the sting out of the words. "I wish I had a name to give you but I don't. I don't remember by name or anything else really." He paused for a moment then his eyes downcast but when he looked up any trace of sadness they had seen had vanished. "Misty huh? You're the one with the lips that taste slightly of sugar?"

She blushed furiously at that statement though Meia smiled. It was kind of nice to see Misty blush. She was normally so different. Nothing seemed to faze her about men and women and how they interacted. Meia hid her smile behind and cough and Misty turned on Meia. "Hey what are you giggling at," she accused.

"Nothing," Meia said stoically.

"Well ladies perhaps I will be allowed to walk amongst the crew later. I promise I will not do anything to harm anyone."

Meia paused for moment thinking. "I shall speak to the captain, maybe she will let you at least eat in the cafeteria."

The stranger bowed his head in acknowledgement of her statement. He knew that was going for on his behalf. "I thank you Meia. Not many would do that for a stranger. I shall keep my promise."

She nodded. "Come on Misty. We need to speak to the captain, and find out how long we shall be on this planet."

"Bye," Misty said waving over her shoulder as she walked out of the room with Meia.

"Bye lovely ladies," he whispered watching them go.

The rest of the day passed swiftly for the stranger. He went though what exercises he could just to help pass the time. Meia had come and gone telling him that he was allowed to eat with everyone else but for the moment that was all. He had thanked her and she had left to go about her business. Before she had left she had told him it would be a week before they could leave at the earliest.

The stranger was sitting with his back to the wall and his eyes half-closed when he heard footfalls approaching. He waited knowing that they were a ways off. Slowly they came closer and he could tell by how they sounded that the person was unhappy as it sounded as though the feet were being drug slightly before each step.

It was starting to get late and he figured most were getting some sleep except those on guard duty and those that had their jobs late at night. Some of the bridge crew, and an officer of some kind usually. How he knew that he wasn't sure but once again he knew things. He just wished how he knew so much about battle and protocol within a military.

He watched through lidded eyes and saw the long red haired girl enter. She was almost dragging her feet and her eyes were haunted. He had heard her the day before during the battle and she had such a soft kind voice. She had tried to protect him and for that he was thankful. He reached up as she entered and felt his face where the claw marks had been. He sighed heavily to himself and wondered what he was. Those claw marks and his other wounds had all healed about an hour ago. Meia hadn't seen it and he hadn't known he would heal like that. All he knew was that he was different. He was strong and fast, with excellent senses and he could heal.

Dita had been in her room by herself. She hadn't slept the night before and it now showed with dark rings under her eyes, and the way she moved. She had been thinking about killing that creature. She had never killed anything before that was intelligent. It was like killing a person. She was having a really hard time dealing with it, because the mere thought of it made her sick. She hadn't been able to keep any food down since she had killed it. She had thrown up when she had been out of everyone's sight.

She had spent the whole day trying to get the image of the knife buried in the creatures back out of her mind. She had tried to forget about the blood and how warm it had felt on her hand. She had tried to forget the feel of the knife as it had sliced the flesh of the Slythik. She hadn't been able to forget and every time she closed her eyes the image was right there. It was driving her nuts.

The only person that she could think of to talk to was the stranger. He had thought to talk to the captain, or Hibiki, or Duero, or even Meia but she knew that they couldn't help. She figured that none of them had ever killed anyone before. She knew that Hibiki had, had a hard time dealing with Siran's death. She was the girl from Milanis, and had died when the earth harvesters had attacked. Hibiki had been right there and he had told Dita about it and how tough it had been for him. That had been one of the things they had talked about when he had first kept his promise and visited her room. Now though she didn't think she could talk to him about how she felt because she didn't know how he would react and even if he would be able to help her. She had tried to talk to him but he hadn't seemed all that interested, and hadn't been helpful with what little they had talked about. She was left with only the stranger.

She had followed her feet looking at only them and soon she realized where she was and slowly lifted her gaze to look at him. He was watching her and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "What is your name young lady," gently came his voice.

"Dita," she answered barely audible. Her gaze wavered and she looked away from him.

"Dita," he smiled. "Tell me what you are doing here. I know you want to ask me something."

She kicked at the floor lightly with her hands behind her back and her gaze traveled back to him. "Umm, well, you see I haven't been able to sleep."

"I can tell. Tell me what the problem is Dita."

"I, I keep having nightmares," she rushed out before she lost her courage.

He breathed deeply and let the breath out slowly. "I think I can guess why," he told her slowly. "It is because you killed the Slythik isn't it?"

She nodded her head, her red hair bouncing and he was surprised he hadn't really thought about the cloths that they all wore before. Dita was wearing a skirt that was quite short, and so had Misty. Meia had been wearing a skin tight outfit and he wondered why all the women were wearing cloths that showed their bodies off to the absolute best.

"I thought so."

"I never killed anyone, or anything near human before," she said softly a tear glistening in the dim light. "I feel sick about what I did. I . . ." she couldn't finish.

"I think I can understand. I don't remember my first kill but I know that it was a long time ago. The only reason I know that is because of how easily I killed the Slythiks."

"How can you get to where it doesn't hurt, where it doesn't hurt to kill," she asked him almost pleading.

He was taken aback by that statement. He had never thought about that, and he wasn't sure he wanted to answer that. Slowly though words started to come to him and he knew they were from a time before, a time he couldn't remember. "Let me tell you this Dita. Please listen to me. Don't ever let it stop hurting. When it stops hurting is when you have lost your humanity. I can tell Dita that you are a kind person, an unbelievably kind person. I know that from seeing you with that man and how you acted with everyone. For you losing that kindness would be terrible. I don't want that for you; don't ever get to the point where killing is just an exercise."

She frowned at him surprised by his words. She had honestly thought he would tell her how he did it. She thought he would tell her how you killed with no remorse, to protect your friends. She wanted that and yet she didn't. She didn't know what she wanted she realized dropping her head. "But I don't want it to hurt."

"No one does, at least now one that is really human. Think about the word human and what that word belongs to. It is a part of the word humanity, and humanity is something you have in abundance don't you?"

She nodded not understanding. "To be human is to be humane. It means to care for others, to think about what you do and what you might do. Keep your humanity for when you lose it you are little more than a tool of death," he told her knowing his words to be true in way.

"Are you still human," she asked before she could stop herself.

"I'm not sure. Killing them didn't affect me like it did you and yet in truth I didn't think twice about it. For me it was like killing an annoying bug, and yet deep down I feel that I despise the killing."

"So how do I deal with it?"

"The only thing I can say is you need to accept the fact that you did kill that creature. You can't change that so dwelling on the past isn't necessary. You should think about your future. Do you want to kill again? Will you kill again if forced to? Do you like it? I hope you always hate the killing. Let someone you love comfort you. Dealing with killing is hard though I won't lie. It is more you dealing with yourself and your actions than anything else. I really can't explain it. I know though that if you can't deal with it, it's going to eat you up inside. You are going to need to let it out and talking to me is the first step. Maybe it's the only step you will need."

"What if that creature had a family though?"

"What if he did? You were fighting for your life, and the lives of your friends. Aren't they important enough to fight for? Here let me tell you this. If you hadn't fought back I might have died. I know that isn't enough but let me finish," he said forestalling her words. "They would have captured or killed everyone on this ship. Those that they didn't kill would have been sold into slavery. That would be worse than death for you women trust me on that. You would have been sold to the highest bidder, usually a man who had a harem of women. You would have been a toy to him to play with at his leisure. You would have also been used for breeding depending on who bought you. That would have been your job having child after child and having those children sent to their deaths as they grew to fight in a war. There were other worse buyers as well trust me," he said his eyes far away. He knew his words were true and he knew he had seen it but he didn't remember much more than that.

"I never thought of it like that," she said.

"Killing is a part of life as well," he explained. "I won't tell you not to feel bad, but don't make yourself sick. Don't dwell on it so much. Understand that it is necessary sometimes. Understand that you don't have to like it, but know that there are those who like to kill. I know it is hard, I know it makes you sick, but hopefully you never have reason to kill again."

"How do you do it? How do you kill all of them with your hands like that watching them die, watching the light fade from their eyes and watching them take their last breath?"

He sighed. "I don't know," he said putting his head back against the wall. "I wish I remembered but I don't."

"That must be hard," she said sitting down with her back to the wall and closing her eyes. Being in his presence seemed to calm her a bit. She was so tired . . . she thought as her eyes grew heavy.

"Just sleep Dita. Don't ever like the killing that is really the only real advice I can give," he said. She nodded and then he just started talking in a droning voice. She never really heard anything else he said as his words seemed to make her even more tired and she fell asleep with his voice still holding her in its gentle caress.

"That young man is interesting isn't he BC."

"Yes Captain," BC responded as they both watched the conversation between Dita and the stranger. "I don't really know what to think of him."

"Hmm, I find him to my liking. His words made sense. He did his best to explain things to her, and explaining killing to an innocent like Dita isn't easy. I think he did a good job though, and I think that she will understand it after a good night's sleep."

"I agree. He was right telling her what he did. Killing is hard to deal with but the best thing is to never enjoy it."

"I think she will be just fine now. I also think we don't have to worry too much about him. Send him out with the group that goes exploring. He might be of help to them just make sure you don't give him a weapon just yet," the captain said yawing. "Now I'm going to bed BC, goodnight."

"Goodnight captain," BC said as the captain hobbled away. BC really didn't know what to think of this man and his effect on the crew. He wasn't disruptive and yet many of them seemed to be drawn to him. She didn't understand it.

"Why don't you want to become a soldier like everyone else," Victoria demanded of him.

"It's because I don't want to be just like everyone else, honey. We have more than enough soldiers, more than enough people who like the fighting and the killing. It is a good profession don't get me wrong but it isn't for me," the man said taking the woman in his arms.

She was his wife, Victoria, a woman more beautiful than any he had ever encountered. He loved her with his entire being, loved every part of her. Her long red hair, pale skin, sparkling green eyes that always seemed to hold a bit of hardness, and amusement, and the way she giggled. He loved everything from the way she moved to the way she flipped her hair with her hand when she grew irritated with him as she did now. The hair flipped and caught him in the face. He grinned down at her.

"Akarik, why do you want to be a normal man so much?"

"Because there are no wars to be fought love. What is the use in learning a trade that I will never use? I would rather help people, and bring them happiness than end their lives."

"Your friend is more of a man than you. He is willing to do what is necessary. He is willing to be a real man," she shouted turning her back to him. Her breathing was heavy and her anger radiated off her in waves. Akarik could feel it and yet, he didn't really understand his new wife at all.

"Maybe I can learn to fight, to defend," he said softly and she spun around a smile on her face. A smile of triumph that, said she had won a battle and that she was happy.

"Great I will sign you up myself. You will learn how to fight with a sword, with your hands, with whatever right? For me?"

He nodded his head slowly. He felt dead at the moment, like he wasn't himself anymore. His mother had informed him that Victoria was not the woman for him and yet like a fool he hadn't listened. He wasn't agreeing with his mother but he was at least starting to wonder. Why did she want to change him so bad? Why did she want to hurt him? Why? He was lightheaded and fell back onto the couch as she skipped out of the room like a little girl.

The stranger awoke with a start his breathing heavy. "What are these? Are they my memories? Do I want to remember them," he asked himself as he felt the wedding ring on his left index finger. He sighed wishing he could get some sleep but it was getting worse and worse as things started to swirl back into his mind bouncing around with no rhyme or reason. His visions left him with more questions than answers.

He turned his gaze from his hands to Dita who was fast asleep. He smiled at her form. "At least someone can get some sleep. I hope I was able to help you," he whispered and wished he could run his hands through those long red locks.

The next morning Dita awoke with her neck hurting from how she had slept the night away. "Oww," she whined rubbing her neck hoping to get the crick out of it.

"That is not the most comfortable position to sleep in. I know from experience," he said smiling at her and chuckling slightly.

"Not funny," Dita retorted.

"No I don't suppose it is. I remember the pain of sleeping like that."

She frowned at him and then brightened. "Since I'm here I might as well let you out so you can go eat."

"Sounds good I'm starving."

She moved forward and punched in the number to power down the bars. Together then they walked to the cafeteria. During the walk the stranger started to wonder. He really wanted to know who he was. He wanted to know about his past and yet he was almost scared to learn of it. He knew he could kill and he was good at it. He wasn't so sure he wanted to remember how he had gotten that way.

Dita walked slightly ahead of him and his gaze was drawn to her fiery red hair. It hadn't been like the woman's in his dream. No that woman Victoria had had blood red hair. It had been unnerving. His gaze traveled down her back and lingered on the sway of her hips for a moment. He was a man after all and as far as he knew there were very few men who could resist a woman's charms.

The stranger was all too aware that Dita was attractive as were most of the women on the ship he had encountered. He shrugged his shoulders though as they entered the cafeteria and went to sit down. He noticed that they were the only ones in there and he turned a questioning gaze to Dita.

"Oh it's because Meia and the others are getting ready to go scouting. I am supposed to go to so I better eat quickly."

"Don't eat too fast because if you do then you will feel sick," he said softly. She turned her gaze to him and smiled, with a slight giggle. "What?"

"Nothing. Well in truth you are nothing like Mr. Alien."

"How so?"

"Well you are quiet when you talk and he always gets so excited and starts to yell a lot. I don't mind though I just like being with him. He is short and you are tall, and well you just act so different. I don't know how to explain it but I see it," she said as she sat down a plate of food in front of him and sat down next to him with her own.

"Is that a bad thing being different," he asked wondering if this girl would give him the answer that the woman in his dream had.

"No," she cheerfully replied. "There is nothing wrong with it. It would be boring if everyone was the same."

"I guess you are right," he answered.

Dita started to eat her breakfast eggs, bacon, pancakes, and orange juice. She was eating quite a bit and the stranger wondered how someone so small could eat so much. He started to eat and felt the rumble in his stomach followed by the cramps that he had been feeling for the past couple days. He was starting to worry not understanding why he couldn't satisfy his hunger.

He ate in silence though Dita continued to chatter on. He didn't mind, he was good at listening. He liked to listen it taught you a lot about people. If you didn't listen you didn't learn, he had found. This girl Dita he found himself liking. She had such a pretty voice and she didn't mind talking. He was enjoying just sitting there and listening to her rattle on about Mr. Alien and her other friends and about the shape of the ship and other such things.

In no time they were done eating even him and the two of them went to the briefing room to meet up with Meia, Jura, Barnette, Hibiki, Misty, and Gascogne. The last two were volunteers. Misty wasn't needed on the bridge with the ship down and she wanted to see this planet. It had seemed so beautiful and she wanted to experience it firsthand.

The briefing was quick, but the stranger didn't even hear it. He was lost to another memory. Akarik sat in his house scared. He had learned at his wife's request how to fight but he didn't want to fight. Hew as scared he had to admit. He had been given orders to take up a weapon and defend their world but he couldn't. His limbs wouldn't obey his will. He was like a child in how helpless he felt. He hoped he wouldn't need to move because he didn't think he could. He had been informed that it was only a strike team to test their defensiveness but he was still scared.

Just then the door burst open and standing there was a creature out of a nightmare. It was a walking lizard with bony extrusions, and carrying a large axe. The axe was bloodied and it had flesh stuck in its teeth from where it had bit someone earlier. "Another one," it breathed and laughed.

It charged but Akarik brought his weapon up and stabbed it in the chest. The blood trailed down the blade and dripped down onto the floor. Some of the blood stained Akariks hand and he yanked the blade free. The creature fell to the floor dead.

"What have I done," he whispered and brought his hand to his face. He felt the sticky wetness of blood on his face and yanked his hand away. He tried to wipe the blood off hand but it wouldn't come off so without thinking he licked the blood from his hand just to get the sight away.

He wondered if Victoria was alright but he didn't have time to think about that as he ran from the house and away into the woods. He thought he could hide there. He knew that he was being a coward but he couldn't help it. He wondered if his mother was alright but she was in a different city with his family on a trip to see her family.

He ran through the woods the trees slapping at his face. He pushed them out of the way but then he heard footsteps behind him. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest and so he ran faster ducking around trees and boulders, whatever got in his way. It was when he came to a cliff and stopped unable to cross it.

He was brought back to the present by a soft touch on his arm. Misty was standing there looking at him with concern evident in her eyes. "Are you okay? Maybe you shouldn't come."

"No I am fine, I was just . . . thinking."

"If you are sure," she said glad that he was still coming. She had volunteered for the reason to see the land but also because she had heard he was going to. She wanted to learn more about him and see just what kind of man he was. She sighed inwardly glad, that he was still going.

The team was off having already gotten their gear ahead of time. They removed the handcuffs from the stranger and let him walk where he wanted as long as he was in sight. He smiled at that understanding that you couldn't let your prisoner out of your sight.

They disembarked from the ship and the first thing that he did was look at the weapons that he could see. He noticed that Meia wasn't carrying a weapon and neither were Misty, and Gascogne. He had been introduced to them all at the briefing so he felt comfortable using their names. Of them all he saw that Hibiki had a gun of some sort, Barnette was using old out-dated weapons with real ammunition. He smiled at that remembering that he had to learn to use those things, though he thought them quite unfair, and uncivilized. Jura had a sword which surprised him slightly but not overmuch. She was slim and elegant much like her choice in a weapon. Her sword was meticulously cared for he could tell and he knew that she went into as much work on herself.

They walked for awhile marveling at the trees and the countryside. Everything seemed to be devoid of any signs of life. There were no people and few animals. What few animals there were scampered away at the sight of the humans intruding upon such a peaceful area. More than one deer bounded away with its tail held high as to say, "Idiots."

Their steps carried them up a hill and what they saw on the other side made them all pause in wonder. Lying on the other side of the hill was what used to be a city. Now though it was little more than a shell of its former glory. There were few buildings left standing and those were made of stone not wood or metal. The metal buildings seemed to have melted in on themselves, and they seemed sad and the group wondered about the tale they could tell.

The stone buildings were starting to topple for lack of care and upkeep. There were vines growing around some of the buildings and trees growing through others. There were skeletons littering the streets some with crushed skulls and others broken bones. Obviously there had been a battle fought here but it was forgotten now. Forgotten except for one person who now collapsed to the ground holding his head. He screamed out loud, "NOOOO!"

In that moment it was as if a dam had broken in his head and the memories that he hadn't been able to access came tumbling out each striving to b the first remembered. They cluttered his mind and he fell to his stomach in pain as he remembered things that he wished that he didn't.

Misty and the others jumped when they heard him scream and then they turned to look at him. "What's wrong with him?" Misty asked concerned.

"I think he is remembering," Gascogne solemnly answered. They could do nothing but wait for him to come back to them and then maybe they could ask him a few questions. Misty and Meia though felt bad for him. Misty because she was so kind, and Meia because she . . . well she wasn't sure why.

Authors note: Okay sorry for the wait everyone. Also this chapter is a bit slow sorry about that as well but it will get better I assure you. Well we have seen a glimpse of his past and I hope it was worth the wait. I used this as a building chapter and I hope no one holds that against the story. Thanks for all the reviews everyone. They really mean a lot. As always let me know what you think and what you would like to see. I am glad to have such readers, and reviewers.