June 1996
New York City
Dear Mom,
Last week I talked to a head hunter guy about a new job in Buffalo. It is a town across the state of New York on the shore of the Great Lake... Erie, I think. There is a small Russian community there in need of a doctor for their clinic. That would be an interesting place to work. Zadro says they have record breaking snow in the winters there. I could ski again! I haven't made my decision about them and they haven't made their decision about me. It has caused me to think about living elsewhere however. I think I am ready to leave the bigger city for a while.
New York has been a good experience for me. It has been good to have Zadro to stay with and learn from. I have made friends at the hospital where I work. I know where the good sandwiches are to be found. I would miss the park and the video rental places. I would miss Zadro...and Joanna...and my poker playing apartment sharing buddies. I know that I can make a life for myself somewhere else again. One thing I have learned about America is that you can find a Blockbuster Video and a McDonald's in every town. Throw in a good barbecue place and I can be mostly happy.
My love to all of you.
Luka
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August 1996
Sibenik, Croatia
Dear Luka,
What at wonderful, wonderful surprise to find you waiting for us in Dubrovnik!! You will never know how very happy you make your Tata to have you there for his very first gallery showing at the Art Festival. All of our sons together. He was so proud. And we were so very proud of him. He has spent a life time as a train engineer - and I know it was an exciting thing for you boys to say your Tata did this for work - but now it is so good to see him doing what he really wants to do. We had quite a row about using the painting that has hung in our home as part of his showing. I was so afraid that someone would see it, and love it and want to buy it. Knowing your Tata, he would laugh and tell me that he could paint another one for me and just sell it. He has made the most beautiful piece for me though. It's a water lily - made of bronze - and set inside a heavy crystal bowl. It was an 'experiment' he said...something different to try. Now he has used some of the farm money to purchase a potter's wheel. He still goes to work on the trains every day but his heart isn't in it any more. Your Tata is an artist. It's in his soul.
I hope that you are finding it easy to settle into your new life in Toledo, Ohio. How different is it from New York City? Do you hear from Zadro much? How was his wedding?
Andro and I have parted ways a bit for a while. He was very angry when you left Dubrovnik for Ohio again. I think he misses having you here. He says you are 'running away' by leaving Croatia. He was always such a serious child and now such a serious man. He doesn't understand needing to find something to run toward. His whole world has always been here. Everything in it's slot. He has lost nothing. He has no holes to fill. Except having you nearby. I hope that he can work this through with you. As for me, I will be patient. He cannot go long without talking to his Mati. None of you can. Excuse me as I smile a bit and remember my three little boys tumbling over one another in the big bed they shared together at night and chasing each other after a soccer ball and filling their mouths with warm bread dripping with fresh yellow butter at the farm... cheeks pink from being outside in the sun all day. Everyone thought I would miss having daughters but I have been so happy with my sons...and the 'daughters' they have given me in their wives and children. I have never been disappointed...ever.
Mom
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September 1996
Toledo, Ohio
Dearest Mati,
Toledo is very different from New York. It is much smaller. I have found a small house to rent just outside of the city. I have a car to drive to work every day. It's not much but it is everything, you know? I work out of an urgent care clinic and moonlight in the ER of a hospital so I am always busy. The nurse manager of the clinic has seen it as her goal in life to find me a wife. We tease and laugh about it all the time but it's kind of nice to have someone finding dates for me. She is older than you and married and a grandmother. She brings me cookies and cupcakes to fatten me up. My patients are hard working, industrial people. They remind me a lot of Tata.
I talk to Zadro once a week or so. He is settling into married life quite nicely. I knew he would. Joanna is sweet. He has a new part in a new play that is doing well. They want me to plan to spend Thanksgiving weekend with them in the city. Thanksgiving. An interesting American holiday. They eat turkey for dinner and watch football...not soccer... American football...which I don't quite understand. I might be able to get away to go. It would be good to see them again.
Andro had words with me as well before I left Dubrovnik again. I told him to shut up and concentrate on his own family. He was mad. He doesn't answer my emails. Valerija does however. But he will get over it. He always does. I f he doesn't I shall have to come for another visit and beat him up again.
Zoran emails me quite regularly. I guess teachers have more time on their hands than engineers? He would probably hit me if I said something like that with him in the room. He seems to think that he and Jelena will never have another child. I told him he is lucky to have Natasya. Excuse me while I smile a bit as well, and remember holding her on my lap. There is something very, very special about a three year old. They are so squishy and soft and sweet. She is fat and solid, like Marko was. Jasna was tiny and light. Remember, Mama? I always felt like she would float away if I wasn't holding on to her.
Your son,
Luka
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September 1995
Sibenik, Croatia
Dear Luka,
Tell me the name of your nurse manager. Perhaps I should be writing to her and giving her some tips on finding you a wife? Is she having any luck?
Mama
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October 1996
Toledo, Ohio
Dear Mama,
That's all I would need is to have the TWO of you in cahoots with one another! Cahoots. Isn't that a funny word? It means working together or something like that. I have been out for dinner with a couple of her selections. They are all so young and ...sweet. I guess I am not really ready to move on with that part of my life. I enjoy spending time with women but here they seem to want so much more so fast. Everything moves faster. You go out to dinner and maybe to a movie. Too soon they expect you to sleep with them and then move in with them. Danijela and I were so young when we met that we seemed to take more time to be friends, you know? And she was religious.
Love,
Luka
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November 1996
Sibenik, Croatia
Dearest Luka,
There is your answer. Danijela was religious. Go to mass. Join a church group. You will find a new wife there.
Love,
Mati
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November 1995
Toledo, Ohio
Mama,
You never give up do you?
Love,
Luka