January 1997
Toledo, Ohio
Dear Mama,
It is hard to believe that another Christmas season has come and gone. It was quiet, and snowy, on Toledo. I decided to work again on Christmas eve and Christmas day. I had many invitations to join families of my co-workers and friends. It was just easier to work than to choose. I am making plans to spend a week skiing with Zadro and Joanna and some other friends from New York later this month however. They want me to bring along a companion. There is a friend that I dated who I might think about asking. We shall see when the time comes.
I have decided to look for a smaller place closer to my work. I am not enjoying having the house as much as I thought I would. I think that houses are for families. Taking care of the yard was much more work that I really wanted to do...and for what? I enjoy having friends over but the little house I had was too far for them at times. There are several apartment and condominium places that I am going to check in to very soon. If I can find one with a good kitchen and a nice living space, I will be moving.
How are things with my brothers and their families? I missed seeing all of you and spending the holidays with you.
Love,
Luka
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January 1997
Sibenik, Croatia
Dearest Luka,
The holidays were quiet here as well. Zoran and Jelena spent the day with her family. They went to mass with us on Christmas Eve and Andro brought the boys over for a dinner on Christmas. Valerija had a terrible cold and decided to stay home. She tells me that she slept all day and that it felt good to do that. I understood. I know how exhausting chasing after small boys can be after all.
Your Tata is considering leaving his engineer job after all these years. Since the art show in Dubrovnik he has received so many invitations for showings in other places. He has actually talked with an Art agent about representing him. With the money for the farm sale to help, he thinks he can paint and build an income for the two of us. I am excited for him and yet a little worried. So many things to think about. I want him to take this opportunity. He has been so good to me over the years. It's his turn now.
You are considering taking a friend on your ski trip? You haven't told me about anyone. Who is she? Is she pretty? You have been hiding something from your Mama?
Love,
Mati
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February 1997
Toledo, Ohio
Dear Mati,
I have not been hiding anything. Her name is Rachel and she is just a friend. Someone I work with. She likes to ski and I thought she would have a good time with us. Actually she was a bit uncomfortable. Zadro and I speak Croatian a good bit when we are together and she was uncomfortable with that. Joanna is not. She did her very best but Rachel wasn't very friendly after the first few evenings. Zadro had a few choice things to say about her so I imagine her fears that we were talking about her came true. Things are okay between us now but I don't think I will invite her to go skiing again.
I am watching travel videos again and am thinking about traveling to a warmer place for a while. Can you tell that there is snow piled up outside my door? I need to shovel a path to the car so I can get go to work. I have found one really good thing about living here. There are places where I can go on cross country skis. I have been working the night shift in order to enjoy the snow in the afternoons. When it's not blowing icy winds off the lake it's nice.
Love,
Luka
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March 1997
Sibenik, Croatia
Dearest Luka,
Your Tata is busy in his studio and it is quiet. I have Natasya today and she is sleeping now in the middle of the bed in our room. I think I need to change the room you boys slept in Such a sweet little girl. Since he is home every day now, she is definitely your father's shadow. He has a small easel for her in the studio and ecourages her to paint with him. I wonder how he will feel when he finds a stroke or two she contributes to one of his own works? He is trying to get me to do something in that room of his as well. I am afraid my talents are best used in the kitchen and with my children.
I am writing this from the settee in front of the window and am watching as huge snowflakes fall. So quiet and beautiful. I miss the farm however. Tata and I are taking a short trip to set up his works at another showing in a couple of weeks. It will be nice to do some traveling.
Are you happy in Toledo, Ohio? I know that you talk about your work but a joy seems to be missing. Perhaps you should think about going back to New York.
Love,
Mama
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April 1997
Toledo, Ohio
Dear Mama,
I love my work in Toledo. I am finding my way about things here. I have discovered that we are just an hour or two drive from Detroit, Michigan. Some friends and I have gone for hockey games there. They also have a great basketball team. We drive up after work, go to the games and spend the night before coming home the next day. But you are right. There is something missing here. It just doesn't feel like home. The problem is, New York didn't feel like home either. It was just...comfortable. I think because of my very good friend, Zadro.
Don't worry about me, Mama. I may be looking for something and I know that I will find it. I can feel it.
Love,
Luka