Don't Let Your Guard Down
chapter 38

sorry it took me soooo long to update...i just had final exams and got home late wednesday and it's been a hectic few weeks.

disclaimer: i'm J.K. Rowling. haha i wish

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"Hey Lils," James said, walking into their common room.

Lily looked up from the piles of work sitting on her lap and smiled. "Hey hon."

"Whatcha doin?" James asked.

"Sailing to Australia," Lily said, rolling her eyes. She pointed to the books and parchment on her lap. "What do you think I'm doing?"

"Homework?" James suggested.

"Oh good, you do know what this is," Lily teased. She looked up at James standing in the corner of the room. "Why aren't you doing homework?"

"Do I ever?"

"Good point," Lily said with a smile. "School is over in less than two weeks and N.E.W.T.S. are coming up. We have to study, and finish all the work, and take copious amounts of notes and-"

"Only you would use the word 'copious' when you're freaking out," James said.

"I am not freaking out!" Lily cried out.

James smiled a little and rushed to his girlfriend's side. "You've got the top grades out of everyone at Hogwarts and you're incredibly smart and hardworking."

"Keep going," Lily said with a grin.

James kissed her on the forehead. "You'll do fine."

Lily's face turned serious and she looked up at James. "So, I have a question."

"Yes I am naturally this good looking," James joked.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him and ignored his comment. "What do you think is gonna happen to us?"

"Well, like every person in the world, we'll end up as worm food," James said.

"What?"

"We'll end up dead," James clarified, rolling his eyes.

"Could you be any cruder?" Lily asked and then sighed. "And I didn't mean what's going to happen to us in the long run. I meant what's gonna happen when we graduate here."

"We'll get some sort of diploma and a hat with a really cool tassel," James said with a goofy grin. "I'm really looking forward to it."

"Can you ever be serious?" Lily wondered.

"No…but I can go get him," James teased.

Lily gave him a look.

James took Lily's hands in his own and looked sincerely in her eyes. "I don't know what's gonna happen with us but I know that no matter what I choose to do with my life, I want to do it with you."

Lily took a deep breath and looked down at her feet. "I want to go to a wizarding university." (A/N: Yes, I know those don't really exist but go along with it! just for the sake of my story)

"Well I think that's a great idea," James said excitedly, giving her a huge hug.

Lily smiled weakly at him. "But I don't know where."

James read her expression. "But you want to go somewhere in England, right?"

Lily shrugged. "Maybe…probably…I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" James asked.

"Look, it's not a big deal," Lily insisted. "I was merely wondering what our future looked like."

"We're only eighteen," James said. "Our future should look like lots of candy and plenty of pasta."

"We're not five," Lily said and then gave him a strange look. "And what the hell's with the pasta?"

"First thing I could think of," James said with a shrug. "It does sound good, doesn't it?"

Lily gave him a look.

James sighed. "Lily, why doesn't your future include me?"

"Are you kidding?" Lily burst out. "You're the most important thing in my life right now which is why I wanted to talk to you about this."

James sighed and then looked at his girlfriend. "I'm hungry…you want some pasta?"

Lily cracked a smile and hit him with a pillow. "We don't have to think about this now."

"Good…because it's making my head hurt," James said and then gave his girlfriend a warm smile. "And it will just make us upset."

Lily cracked another smile. "Too late," she muttered. Lily glanced around the empty room and threw her books on the floor. "You know what I just noticed?"

James grinned and kissed her on the lips. "You're gonna give up studying for hours to be with me?"

Lily laughed. "I know it's surprising."

James grinned and lightly pushed Lily against the couch and kissed her, massaging the inside of her mouth with his tongue. Lily unbuttoned James' shirt and flung it to the floor.

"Hey guys," Sirius said, popping into the room.

Lily and James scrambled up from the couch with a sigh. "Hi," they groaned.

Sirius looked at James's shirt on the floor and gave them a sheepish grin. "Oops…were you busy?"

"Yup," James said, glaring at Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. "Well now I'm here so we can have some fun, just the three of us." Sirius grinned and sat right between Lily and James on the couch.

Lily leaned back and looked at James. "We really need to get Sirius a girlfriend."

James thought about it. "What about Cristina Milano?"

"What about 'hell no,'" Lily said with a look of disgust. "That girl is a tramp."

"Sounds like my kind of girl," Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ooh, what about Lyla Freed?" Lily suggested.

"Taken," James said.

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "By who?"

"Bennie Jeepers," James said. "But what about his ex girlfriend, Tarla?"

"Okay, I'm sitting right here," Sirius said. "And I don't want any girlfriend."

"Except Gigi," James muttered under his breath.

"What??" Sirius exclaimed.

"I said…I respect that," James said.

Lily smacked James over the head. "That doesn't even sound like what you really said."

"I don't want Gigi!" Sirius cried out for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Yes you do," Lily insisted.

"Yes I do," Sirius whined, putting his head in his hands.

"You do?" Lily exclaimed, surprised that he admitted it.

"No," Sirius said quickly, picking his head up.

"He said he did," James said. "I heard it with my own two eyes."

"You mean your own two ears, you moron," Sirius said.

"Either way, I heard it," James said.

"Hey Lily, do you have my-" Gigi trailed off, as she walked into the common room and saw Sirius sitting there. "Nevermind."

"Wait Gi!" Lily cried out.

"BYE!" Gigi yelled over her shoulder.

Sirius sighed and then looked back and forth from James to Lily. "I need a girlfriend."

James pointed to where Gigi just left. "You want that girlfriend."

Sirius sighed and plopped his head against the back of the couch, not bothering to argue with James...because he knew that James was right. Lily and James exchanged knowingly looks and sighed, glancing at an upset-looking Sirius.

"Okay, what about the girl sitting by the birch tree?" Peter asked. "Black hair, red skirt."

"No way!" James cried out. "The girl sitting on the bench is way hotter."

"Which one?" Sirius asked.

"Redhead with the purple tank top," James said.

"Whoa, new competition," Sirius said with a low whistle. "Check out Mandie Hemington."

"You guys are pigs," Remus muttered and then glanced up from his Potions book. "Holy shit! Check out the blonde by the lake."

All four boys jerked their heads in the direction of the lake and grinned. "Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner," Sirius cried out with a smirk.

"Okay, so I have a question," James said.

"No James, she is not a natural blonde," Remus said with a grin.

James rolled his eyes and lay down on his stomach, resting his chin in his hands. "What are you guys planning on doing after graduation?"

"Drinking a lot," Sirius said.

"No, I mean with the rest of your life," James reworded.

"Drinking a lot," Sirius repeated.

James threw some grass in Sirius's face and stared up at Remus. "What about you?"

"Well I'm going to be spending most of my time howling at the moon," Remus said and then glanced up at James, "so my future is pretty busy."

"Lily wants to go to a University," James mentioned.

"That's no surprise," Peter said.

"Whew," Sirius said with a whistle. "Check out the brunette over by the fountain."

Peter, James, and Remus all stared up at him.

"Oh…have we moved on to a new topic of conversation?" Sirius asked with a sheepish grin.

"Just forget it," James said with a shrug. "I was merely wondering."

"Why are you asking?" Remus wondered.

James glanced at his friends and shrugged again. "Because Lily and I were talking about it the other day and it made me think."

"Well it's about time someone got you to think," Peter teased. "…did it hurt?"

James threw a rock in Peter's direction. "Did that hurt?"

Peter laughed and threw some grass at James.

James cracked a smile as the rest of his friends threw their heads back and laughed. "Lily wants to go to a University. And it made me realize that I haven't given any thought to what I want to do after Hogwarts."

"Is partying for the rest of my life an option for the future?" Sirius asked.

"Of course," Remus said. "But it wouldn't be a very long future."

James gazed out into the distance and looked at his girlfriend quietly reading her potions book under a tree on the other side of the grounds. He sighed and turned back to his friends. "It doesn't matter. Like I said, I was just wondering."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all exchanged worried glances. "It does matter though, doesn't it," Remus hinted.

James lay on his stomach, leaning on his elbows. "I just can't believe we're out of this place in less than two weeks."

"And I can't believe that Sirius has yet to open a book for the upcoming exams," Remus pointed out.

"I still have time," Sirius said with a shrug.

"The first exam is in two days," Peter noted.

"Oh," Sirius said and then was silent for a few seconds. "So, who wants snacks?"

"You're worried about food when I just told you we have an exam soon?" Remus asked.

"When I'm stressed out, I eat," Sirius said with a shrug.

"That must mean that you're stressed out every minute of every day," James snickered.

Sirius stuck his tongue out at James and got up from the ground. "I'm getting some cookies."

The other three shrugged but dove into a conversation about Quidditch.

Sirius walked across the grounds as his stomach growled, feeling happy that he was about to get some food. He smiled and waved at Lily who waved back but then stuck her nose back into her book and started taking notes vigorously. Sirius laughed at her freaking out about the exams.

Sirius flashed a smile at a few girls who were looking his way and entered Hogwarts…just in time to walk into Gigi.

"Oh," Gigi said, surprised to see him.

"Hi," was all Sirius could think of to say.

Gigi looked up at him awkwardly and then walked around him and out of Hogwarts.

Sirius stood there helplessly as she just walked away from him. He wanted to keep walking away but at the same time, he wanted to talk to her. Before he could stop himself, Sirius called out, "So I'm not important to you?"

Gigi turned around with a confused look on her face. "Huh?"

"Nothing," Sirius said quickly.

"No, really, what's that supposed to mean?" Gigi asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Forget it," Sirius snapped.

"Obviously it meant something," Gigi snapped back, getting aggravated with his attitude.

"I was in the hospital for god sake!" Sirius cried out, surprised at himself for getting so angry.

Gigi waited for him to continue but he stopped there. "Yeah…" Gigi asked in the form of a question.

Sirius sighed harshly. "You didn't visit me once. You didn't send anything. You didn't even make an effort to find out if I was okay."

"What makes you think I didn't make an effort?" Gigi asked, taking a few steps towards him.

"Did I see you? Did I see something from you? Did I hear from you at all??" Sirius asked angrily.

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't care," Gigi argued.

"Oh really? So studying for exams and eating meals means you're caring for me?" Sirius sniped.

"No! But waiting outside the hospital for two to three hours every fucking day does!" Gigi burst out. "Not sleeping at all because all I could think about was whether or not you were okay means I care! Getting Lily and Kacie to check up on you every five minutes just to let me know how you were doing means I care for you!"

Sirius hesitated and then looked up at her. "You really did that?"

"No," Gigi said really quickly. Sirius gave her a look. Gigi shrugged. "We may have broken up but that doesn't mean that I wanted you to die."

Sirius snorted. "I wasn't gonna die."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Gigi asked irritably.

"Maybe if you actually came in, you would have known that," Sirius argued.

"You were in a fucking coma Sirius! Not a whole lot of people get out of those as quickly as you did…or at all," Gigi cried out. "So excuse me if I thought that maybe just maybe, you weren't gonna make it."

Sirius was silent for a few seconds and then looked up at her, shifting his weight a little bit. He couldn't help noticing just how gorgeous she was when she looked vulnerable. "Why didn't you just come in to see me?" Sirius asked.

Gigi shrugged and refused to answer that question.

Sirius took a step towards her. "Well?"

"Because," Gigi answered, her voice breaking up.

"Because isn't a real answer," Sirius said slowly.

Gigi shrugged. "You broke up with me," Gigi mumbled. She didn't dare stare at Sirius and instead concentrated hard on her shoes. With a quiet weak voice she added, "I wasn't sure if you wanted me there or not."

After it was quiet for a few seconds, Gigi finally looked up at Sirius who was staring at her but wasn't saying anything. Gigi's face was getting hot with nervousness so she started to walk away until she heard Sirius come out with, "I wanted you there."

Gigi turned to look at Sirius. "But what about-"

"I don't know," Sirius cut her off.

"Okay, but you said-"

"I know," Sirius said.

"And what about when you said-"

"I don't know," Sirius interrupted.

Gigi thought about it for a few seconds. "Well, what do you know?"

Sirius paused and looked at Gigi who was shifting her weight a lot and fidgeting in place. He smiled and took a few steps towards her. "That I want to do this," Sirius whispered and then lowered his lips and placed them on hers.

As they broke apart, Gigi smiled about the short but sweet kiss. "So, what does this mean?" She was almost afraid to ask.

Sirius grinned. "That talking is obviously not our strong suit," he said with a small laugh. Gigi laughed along with him and stood up on her tippy toes to give Sirius another kiss.

Sirius couldn't erase the smile off his face as he entered his room a few hours later, after spending the afternoon with his girlfriend. He smiled wider as he said the word "girlfriend" in his head.

James, Remus, and Peter glanced up from their books as Sirius entered the room. "What's with the goofy grin?" James asked, engrossing himself back into his books. Peter and Remus took a quick look at Sirius's grin and also went back to reading their books.

"It's nothing," Sirius said, looking around and noticing that no one was really listening to him. "I just got back from hanging out with my girlfriend."

"Oh," James said distractedly. "Cool."

Sirius waited a few seconds for any other reactions but they were all too busy taking notes and reading vigorously. He shrugged and then walked out of the room.

"I don't understand. What do you get when you mix dragon skin and that weird purple stuff?" Peter asked.

"Did Sirius just say he has a girlfriend??" James cried out. All three of them exchanged glances and then raced out of the room, following Sirius.

"Sirius!" Remus cried out, catching him as he was about to walk into the common room.

Sirius glanced down at his watch. "Forty-five seconds…now that's a record."

"Who the hell is your girlfriend?" James asked.

"When did you get a girlfriend?" Remus questioned.

"And most importantly, what happens when you mix dragon skin and that transparent purple stuff??" Peter asked.

Sirius, James, and Remus all gave him blank stares.

Peter shrugged. "It's on the exam tomorrow."

"Who cares about the exam," Remus said. Sirius, James, and Peter all looked at him with shock in their eyes. "Wow…I really need to stop hanging out with Sirius."

Sirius grinned. "Yeah…but it's seven years too late for that."

"So, tell us!" James urged. "Who's the girl?"

"Who do you think?" Sirius asked with a smile.

"Lucie," Peter started. "Hannah! That hot redhead from Potions class!"

"You suck at guessing," James said, rolling his eyes. He turned to Sirius. "It's definitely Maria from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team."

"You suck at guessing too," Sirius muttered.

"You guys are dolts," Remus said. "He's referring to Gigi."

Peter and James looked at Remus and burst out laughing. "You need to get your head examined."

"His head is just fine," Sirius said.

Peter and James turned to Sirius and then put their hands to their mouths in realization. "Gigi? You mean you guys are together? …again?" James asked.

"What can I say?" Sirius said with a shrug. "When she saw me, she tackled me to the ground and started making out with me."

The three boys gave him a look.

"Okay…so maybe that's not quite what happened," Sirius said. "But it's pretty close."

"Lemme guess," Remus said. "You guys walk into each other by accident. You get upset because she didn't visit you in the hospital and then you both realized how stupid you were being by breaking up."

Sirius's mouth hung wide open. "Were you there?"

"No," Remus pointed out. "It's just obvious."

Sirius pointed in the direction of Peter and James who both had blank stares on their faces. "Not to them."

"Yeah, but they're not the sharpest tools in the shed," Remus said.

James opened his mouth to protest and then closed it. "I'd argue that…but it's pretty much true."

"Pretty much?" Sirius snickered.

"Watch it," James warned. "You're in that shed with me and Peter."

"So have you fucked her yet?" Remus questioned.

James, Sirius, and Peter all hung their mouths open wide.

"What?" Remus asked. "It's a perfect legitimate question."

"Yeah, from Sirius," James answered. "A perfect legitimate question from you is what's the Ancient Ruins homework."

"I'm not in Ancient Ruins," Remus pointed out.

"Therefore making it an illegitimate question," Sirius said.

"Oh never mind," James said. "Just answer Remus' question. Have you guys had sex yet?"

"The answer is no," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Losing your touch?" Peter asked.

"No," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"Afraid to?" James asked.

"No!"

"Only have sex when you're drunk?" Remus asked.

"No," Sirius said and then paused. "Well usually, yes…"

Sirius sighed and sat down on the stairs. "It's just different with Gigi. It's a sensitive subject."

"Because you had sex with her and then had sex with another girl a few hours afterwards?" James asked.

"It was way more than a few hours!" Sirius argued and then sighed. "And yes."

"Oh c'mon," Peter said. "She's had sex with half the boy population at this school. You've had sex with the whole girl population at this school. Is it really that hard for you and Gigi?"

"I care for Gigi," Sirius said. "A lot. I'm not just going to jump at her the first chance I get."

"Why?" James asked. "It worked for me and Lily." James laughed at his playful remark and the boys joined in.

Sirius shrugged. "I'll just wait til she's ready. And believe me, I'm sure she wants to wait considering what happened the first time."

"Why won't he have sex with me?" Gigi whined, plopping down on Kacie's bed.

Kacie looked up. "Who?"

"Sirius," Gigi said.

Kacie and Lily exchanged glances. "I thought you hated Sirius."

Gigi sat up. "Oh yeah. I ran into him, we talked, we made out, and now we're dating again."

"What??" the girls exclaimed.

"Okay, so anyway," Gigi started.

"No! Not anyway. Anyway means we're moving onto a different topic," Kacie said.

Gigi sighed. "You guys knew I was miserable without him. Did you guys really think we weren't gonna get back together?"

"No," Lily said. "But you did."

Gigi paused for a few seconds. "I know," she whispered under her breath. "But now we're back together and in good time considering we're leaving soon and I probably would have never seen him again, so all is right with the world."

"You still mad at the guys?" Kacie asked.

"Stop ruining the moment," Gigi muttered.

"And have you studied for your two exams tomorrow?" Lily wondered.

"Why don't I just call you two thunder and lightening?" Gigi murmured with a hint of a smile.

Kacie and Lily laughed. Lily looked at Gigi's grin and closed her book. "Well I'm happy for you two. It's about time you two put your stubbornness behind you and got back together."

"This coming from the girl who didn't get back together with James til like two months after you guys broke up," Gigi said.

"So not the point," Lily argued.

"I guess that leaves either Remus or Peter for me," Kacie said teasingly.

Lily and Gigi exchanged looks. "Go with Remus."

Kacie threw her head back and laughed. "Nah, I'm gonna go out into the real world, find a doctor, marry him, and then have lots and lots of money."

"You already have your future planned out?" Lily questioned.

"And you're basing it around lots and lots of money?" Gigi wondered, raising her eyes.

"When you're married to Sirius and living in a box…don't come crying to me," Kacie teased with a laugh.

Gigi thought about it. "So…where can I get me one of these doctors?"

"It sure as hell won't be Sirius," Lily muttered. All three girls exchanged glances and then burst into a fit of giggles.

"I don't think I knew one of those answers," Sirius cried out, walking out of the Great Hall after his final Potions exam.

"I don't think I knew one of those words," Peter said. "What the hell is to pilfer?"

"I don't know, what the hell does muddle up mean?" Sirius wondered.

"Oh, who the hell is gonna use potions in the real world anyway?" James said, throwing his arms up.

"A Potions professor?" Remus suggested.

"Well then we know what profession I won't be having," Sirius said.

"Anything successful?" James said.

"Exactly," Sirius said and then paused. "Wait…what?"

"It's a good thing you're good looking," Peter said. "At least we know you'll marry well."

"And hopefully it'll be for money," Remus said with a laugh. "…or you're screwed."

The four boys continued walking as they laughed about random teenager things.

"Dude," Sirius whispered, slowing down. "Totally hot chick at 10 o'clock."

"Dude," James hissed back. "Totally hot girlfriend at 3 o'clock."

Sirius glanced over. "That's more like 3:15."

James stared at him. "That doesn't even make sense."

"So, you think my girlfriend is hot, huh?" Sirius asked in a teasing manner.

"Whose girlfriend is hot?" Gigi asked, coming up and putting her arm around Sirius.

"James' girlfriend," Lily answered immediately with a wink.

"So, who else sat in that room doing absolutely nothing for that entire time period," Kacie asked.

"Me," James, Sirius, Peter, and Gigi responded.

"I thought the exam was kind of easy," Lily said with a shrug.

"Except for question thirteen," Remus said.

"Yeah, I know! What kind of question was that?" Lily cried out.

"I'm going out with a freak," James muttered.

"You're not going out with a freak. Lily's going out with the freak," Sirius pointed out.

"Watch it," James warned, pointing his finger in Sirius's face. "I'm still Head Boy for another three days. I can give you a detention for almost anything."

"You think adding one more detention to my record is gonna do anything?" Sirius asked.

"Good point," James said.

"Wow," Kacie said. "Only three more days." She said the password to the Gryffindor commons room and they all walked in and sat in the corner.

James sat down on the couch with Lily by his side as he frowned at the realization that he won't be at Hogwarts for much longer. "I can't believe we spend seven amazing years here and in three days, we go out into the real world as if none of it matters."

Sirius lay down on his stomach on the ground with Gigi sitting up beside him. "I wouldn't say it doesn't matter," Gigi brought up. "I mean, obviously we wouldn't be prepared to go out into the real world if it wasn't for Hogwarts."

"Can we stop calling it the real world," Sirius wondered. "It's freaking me out."

"Okay, most of us are prepared," James corrected.

Remus snickered and plopped down on the loveseat that was a few feet away from the couch. "It still hasn't hit me that Hogwarts is over."

Kacie grabbed a pillow from the couch and sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the loveseat. "It's not quite over. We have one more exam tomorrow."

"Shit, we have yet another exam?" Sirius whined.

"Actually, you have two," Gigi pointed out.

"Damnit!" Sirius burst out. "Maybe I should go study…" Sirius looked around at the shocked looks on everyone's faces and then burst out laughing. "I actually believed myself for a few seconds there."

"No one else did," James snickered, catching the pillow Sirius threw at him.

"So…here's a question," Kacie said slowly. "What's gonna happen to us after graduation?"

It was silent for a few seconds. Everyone was pondering what their life would be like after Hogwarts. Would they take a few months off or start working on what they want as their profession?

Lily couldn't help thinking about a University and which one she wanted to go to. If she was busy with work and living away from everyone, would she still see them? And what about her and James? What would happen to them?

Gigi stole a peak at Sirius and then frowned a bit. How long would she and Sirius last after graduation? What did Sirius want to do with his life and did she fit into it? She just got Sirius back and she didn't want to do anything to lose him again.

Remus sighed and couldn't help thinking that there wasn't much that he could do considering what he turned into each month…and last time he checked, people weren't too eager to hire werewolves.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, James spoke up. "It's gonna stay exactly the same."

Remus cleared his throat. "Except now when Sirius plays pranks, he'll end up in jail, not detention."

The group laughed and most of them were happy that Remus made light of the situation. Because honestly, none of them could actually believe that they were leaving Hogwarts and that they wouldn't be seeing each other every single day.

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yay!! sirius and gigi are back together!! it's about time...and RIGHT before graduation. can james & lily and sirius & gigi stay together for the next few days? review to find out!