September 1998
Sibenek, Croatia
Dear Luka,
Oh my, we are quite a pair your Tata and I. Me with old, bald head and he with his crutches! Yes, he tripped on a broken sidewalk and is now wearing plaster from his toe to his knee. I told him he needs to paint it but he just gives me very bad looks. He doesn't mind it so much. It keeps him in from our afternoon walks. Instead he can paint in peace. An old friend of Zadro's comes to walk with me every day instead. Some days I am too tired to walk so we just sit and visit. She is such a funny woman with lots of stories to tell. She was a teacher at his school for a long time. Valerija takes me to my chemotherapy appointments and Jelena's mother is taking care of Natasya every day for a while. At least until Tata's broken foot heals. She brings her to visit us when she can. I miss seeing her and playing with her and taking her to the park with me.
We enjoyed your summer visit so much. Tata and I seem to talk about things that happened while you were here, or things you talked to us about, whenever we sit down to share a meal. It was so good to see you so healthy and so happy again. You have put on the weight you were losing before. It was right for you be where you are. I am sure of it now. And we are so looking forward to having you home again at Christmas for a few days. I want you to bring me some more of that cream you brought for my skin. It is the only thing that makes me feel better after a radiation treatment. Valerija is so good about rubbing it on for me.
Well, my walking friend will be here soon and I must get ready for a vigorous 'adventure' with her. I don't think I will be able to walk much with her for the rest of the week. I will be getting another chemotherapy treatment tomorrow and they wear me out so.
Love,
Mom
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October 1998
Mt. Clemens, MI
Dear Mom,
One special thing about the place I live in now is the fall. So many trees and so beautiful. People around here actually take trips to 'see the fall colors'. I don't remember seeing such color when I was living in New York...or Toledo for that matter. One of my colleagues took me to an apple cider mill after work on Saturday. I must admit that the freshly made apple juice cider and a hot, crispy donut were delicious...in their own special way. We must have eaten a dozen of them! They were nothing like the pastries we can get in Dubrovnik but good at the time.
Thank you for the photograph of the painting Tata has done for the chemo room where you get your treatments. It is beautiful...all of your favorite colors, eh? I hope the hospital treasures it because Tata is well on his way to becoming very famous artist and that painting will be worth a huge amount of money some day! I am glad he was able to give you something pretty to look at while you are getting your treatments, Mama. I know they are difficult to sit through some times. Perhaps you should teach Valerija how to play that backgammon game. It kept us occupied during your treatments when I was with you last summer.
Things are changing in the hospital where I work. Lots of money problems. People are leaving for higher pay in other places. I don't think I will be leaving any time soon. I get enough. It is different for people with families and houses and more things. Sometimes I look at my fiends and people I know at the hospital and wonder what the fuss is all about. You can have so very little and still have so much. They just don't know it.
Your favorite son,
Luka
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November, 1998
Sibenek, Croatia
Dear 'Favorite' Son,
Oh, how your brothers would hoot if they could read that! They each think that THEY are my favorite! In truth, all of you are...for very special reasons.
Zadro is my baby. He will always be my baby...my very last infant...no matter how old he gets. The one you would pick on. The one who hung in there because he worshipped you and Andro. He is tougher than most because of what he suffered in your hands...and a better man for it.
Andro is my serious engineer. He is the one that could always figure out the best route to take with anything. He is a thinker. A problem solver. He measures his success in a different way than we ever had and I hope it stands him in good stead. He has wonderful boys and a wonderful wife.
And you. My eldest son. The one Tata and I learned with. And you survived and grew up in spite of us! You gave us so much joy with your funny naughty ways. You always had people laughing. That laugh of yours is infectious even now. I cannot tell you how many people ask after you since you have gone back to your home. Doctors, fellow patients, nurses at the hospital...neighbors. Everyone want sot know how 'my Luka' is doing.
It has broken my heart over and over to see you struggle with the path that has been laid out for your life. I want you to have happiness again, Luka. And I want to be here to see it. If I am not, then I will be in Heaven with Danijela, holding Jasna and Marko in my lap again, plotting and planning with them and making it happen for you once more.
We have had good news and it will be a wonderful Christmas for us. My blood tests have come back with even better numbers than they anticipated. It appears that I am well on the road remission again!. It has been a tougher fight this time and I will admit that I have been getting more and more tired. Now I feel as if I can stand it longer.
We are counting the days till we see you again.
Love,
Mom
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November 1998
Mt. Clemens, Michigan
Dear Mama,
Zadro suffered at our hands?? Oh, please, Mama, how can you say that? Zadro followed us everywhere. He copied everything we did. Of COURSE we had to make him suffer. He was a pesky little kid. And he always came running to you, Mama. Your baby, indeed. And Andro. Ha. My conscience. I would have made a great deal more trouble for you and Tata had I not had him along!
I have already packed my bags and am filling spaces with gifts for all of you. I am looking forward to coming home for Christmas. Are you going to beg me to go to church with you again? Are you going to make me cook all the time? I will have you know that I have perfected the art of making Grandmother's Christmas Eve bread. I have even given it to friends as a gift. No one has complained.
I have my tickets and will be arriving in Sibenek on December the 23rd. I am excited to be with everyone again.
Love,
Luka