June 1999
Detroit, Michigan
Dear Tata,
I received Jelena's letter and know that I may not hear back from you. That writing was Mom's way of keeping in touch. I miss our letters already. But I don't see myself getting much mail for a while. I will have to call you now. I have quit my job. I leased out my apartment. I have purchased a boat. I am planning to spend the next few months just sailing. Mati told me she wanted me to use the money from the farm for an 'adventure' and so this is it.
My new home is a 28 foot Catalina sailboat. It's not new but is very sea worthy. It has everything I need...a bed...a galley... a table...auto pilot... sails. It's nice and cozy. The only problem that I am going to have is that my head brushes the ceiling of the cabin. It sort of reminds me of that attic apartment I lived in when I was in college. Remember, Tata? Mati always worried that I would lose my hair there. But I thought this would work out for me because I will only be sitting or sleeping if I am in the cabin. Most of the time I plan to be topside anyway.
I am currently moored in a small slip near Detroit, Michigan. It's raining today and I am mapping out the first leg of my trip around the Great Lakes. There are so many places to choose from. I thought about taking the boat up the St. Lawrence River toward the Gulf of St. Lawrence and the Atlantic...maybe make my way back to New York again. But that would mean a good leg of my trip would be through Canada. I am licensed to work in the US. I have signed up with a company that provides temporary help to hospitals and clinics. They have said that if I want to stop for a while I should be able to find work along the shorelines. There are small towns and resort areas that are in need of doctors to cover for summer vacations. I think I might like that. At any rate, with the money I have saved and the money from the farm, I should okay. I won't have many needs. Just gas for my boat and food.
If you need to reach me Tata, please call Zadro in New York City. I have promised Johanna that I will call them once a week.. She worries so much about everything these days. I think it has to do with being pregnant again.
Your son,
Luka Kovac
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June, 1999
Lake Huron, Michigan
Dear Tata,
Well, I have been at 'sea' for several weeks now and it's been wonderful. There are so many little nooks and islands around the Michigan coast line. Lots of small towns. I can find pretty much whatever I need or want within walking distance of a docking site. Most of the time though, I spend on my boat. I fish and swim during the day. I read. I even managed to get some medical journals from a local hospital at my last port. I think and I write. I keep a ship's log and a journal of sorts. I write about things I want to remember. Mati would approve. She would want us to remember all of the good things. She wrote once that if her illness did get the best of her it would be okay...because she would be with Danijela, holding Jasna and Marko in her lap, as they all plotted and planned for all of us of here. I like to think of them doing that.
I can almost see my children and Danijela on this boat with me. I can see me swimming in the water with them in the morning, teaching my children how to fish. Reading stories with them before putting them to sleep at night and sitting with Danijela on deck watching the sun go down. I think I feel closer to their memories here than anywhere else I have ever been before this. Where do you feel closest to Mati's memory? Is it sitting outside the door watching the sun? I understand Tata...if no one else seems to. I understand.
Your son,
Luka Kovac
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July 1999
Mackinaw City, Michigan
Dear Dad,
I picked a pretty interesting time to sail around the top of the Michigan lower peninsula. It is the American Independence Day celebration and I am watching fire works all around me as I have moored close to a vacation town. I haven't decided if I want to sail down the western coast line or stick to the Michigan shores. There are lots of people doing the same thing that I am doing with their summer. I have made friends with several of them. We keep in radio contact and let one another know where the best mooring spots are. I think that is why I am so torn right now. Some are headed toward Wisconsin and others are sticking to Michigan. I think I will stay here for a bit though. After being so solitary, it's fun to walk into town and just sit and watch people. And I have signed on to work at the urgent care clinic here for two weeks while their doctor's alternate vacations. I will call you soon.
Your son,
Luka Kovac
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July 1999
Lake Michigan, Michigan
Dear Dad,
So Michigan coastline it is. I am following friends - Steve and Bridget - down the coast line. They are about a day and a half ahead of me. Steve is an engineer and very, very precise about his mapping and his moorings. I am not so precise. I think Bridget is hoping that he will relax a bit and I am supposed to show him how to do that. Actually, I am hoping to learn from HIM! They are going to wait for me at a place called Traverse Bay. We are going to have dinner together again. Usually we fish and then enjoy whatever we catch. Kind of nice.
It is amazing the big ships that we see on these lakes, Tata. I even saw one with a Croatian crew apparently. I have a Croatian flag that flys from the top of my main sail. I was sitting on the deck reading and horns started going off on this passing ship. I used my binoculars to see what was happening and there was a gathering of sailors on the ship's rail waving and jumping and hollering. I wasn't sure what it was about until I saw one come bounding out of a cabin with his own Croatian flag to wave. What a small big world this is!
Your son,
Luka Kovac
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August 1999
Lake Michigan, Michigan
Dear Tata,
I was wonderful to talk to you yesterday! I am glad that you are painting again. I am sorry that you will be missing the art festival in Dubrovnik this year though. That was always Mati's favorite. I wish that you would come and spend some time with me on my boat. The sun rises and sun sets are so very beautiful over the water. Both are my very favorite times of day. And it's nice to not be in a hurry to get anywhere. I am thinking that I may be able to head up the Wisconsin coast before finding a place to spend the winter. Bridget has told me of a town called Escanaba and thinks I should see if the hospital there can hire me. I could store my boat for the winter and then maybe head back toward Lakes Erie and Ontario next summer. She says the winters can be kind of brutal there though. It's something to think about. But I don't have to make any decisions yet. I just want to enjoy the rest of this trip. And I am enjoying it. There is a lot of peace in being alone for a while. It makes me look at other people in a different way. I enjoy my encounters a bit more, I think.
I spoke with Zadro on the phone for a long while recently. He was laughing and saying that if only poor Tomo should see me now. All those summers we spent on his father's sailboat...and me such a dunce when it came to sailing. I think they kept me around because I made them laugh. Zadro says now my conversation is sprinkled with words like rigging and stays and coamings and tillers and spinnakers... He says it sounds as if I have been sailing my entire life! Tomo would be proud.
I love my boat but my true heart has always been with the train engines that you drove. I remember being allowed to sit on your lap when I was just a little boy and pull the whistle when it needed to be blown. Maybe that should be my next adventure? Perhaps we should steal a train, Tata, you and I. We could take it across entire continents together. Would you like to do that??
Your son,
Luka Kovac
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August 1999
Dear Tata,
I cannot believe that I have made it through this entire summer without having to deal with one thunderstorm. I am moored near a small island and the boat is rocking and rolling in the waves. I have lashed down everything and sealed up everything and so I am just waiting out the storm. This has been a good little boat and quite a nice home actually. Now, with this gale...I think I am rethinking going much farther into the fall on it. We shall see.
I have been writing about Marko a lot these days. Wondering what kind of boy and man he would have become. If he was anything like he was as a baby I can imagine that Danijela and I would have had to be quite strict to keep him in line. Well, maybe Danijela would have had to be the strict one. I could never do it. It was a good thing that Jasna was such a a good little girl. I could never have been much of a disciplinarian with her. I would have enjoyed all of the mischief both of my children would have caused, I think. Would that have made me a bad father? Now that I am grown I think that you and Mati enjoyed all of the messes I dragged poor Zoran into...and then Andro. Even though you had to be tough and put on the mad face to scare us. My problem would have been sustaining the mad face long enough to scare my children. How did you ever do it?
Well, I think I have my newest destination. The company that I have been listed with wants to know when I can be in Chicago. They have a need for doctors in their hospitals there. It might be a nice change to be back in the middle of a bigger city again. I am going to think about it.
Your son,
Luka Kovac