Since this story is Spike-centric, instead of Buffy-centric, this is my version of "Normal Again". If you have questions about the meanings of Spike's hallucinations, please feel free to ask.

Chapter 7

Another night, another patrol for Spike. Current rumblings of demonic threats had him hunting near the woods at the edge of town. He'd just killed a demon with waxy skin and bad teeth…wearing a cape, of all things. Glar…something-or-other. He'd remember the name soon enough. Spike licked up the blood dripping from the long gash on the back of his hand and turned for home, his job done for the night.

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William walked through the park, eyes squinting behind wire-frame glasses at the bright sunlight. He stopped to buy some flowers from a girl for his mother, and turned for home.

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He warmed up a mug of blood, as usual, then dropped to the lower level to prepare for bed. Stripping off his clothes and leaving them where they dropped, Spike turned the lever for his makeshift shower and plunged his head under the spray, washing away the demon blood from the night's fights.

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The ice cold water dumped over his head caused the young vampire to suddenly wake.

"I'm not done with you, yet, boy! Did I say you could sleep?!"

"N-no, Sire! I'm sor—"

Crack

"A demon never says they're sorry, boy! Keep your mouth shut until I tell you to open it!"

William nodded, hoping obedience would get him out of the chains faster. He never knew when these moods of Angelus' would change.

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Spike shut off the water and reached for his towel. No one would get him to admit it, but there were times he longed for hot water and a bath. Cold water got him clean, but with heat, he could pretend…just for a little while.

More steps of his nightly ritual – combing gel through his hair so the curls wouldn't spring wild in his sleep, tossing his clothes in the laundry bag, blowing out most of the candles – and he was ready to sleep. Spike was just about to slip into bed, when he remembered the rest of the demon's name. He scribed it down on a piece of paper found in the nightstand, and blew out the last candle, plunging his world into darkness.

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"Disgusting! Vile! A thing to be used. That's all you'll ever be, Spike!" Buffy's disembodied voice threw every insult at him he'd ever felt hurtful. "You can't love! You don't even deserve it!"

He stood in darkness, enough light to see himself, but nothing else. Couldn't smell or hear anyone else…wherever he was.

"Buffy?" he called uncertainly.

"William…did you think that beautiful girl would love you?" The voice of his mother. No, the voice of the thing he made her. "Pathetic! Did you enjoy her discipline, son? Did it remind you of Mummy's punishments when you were a boy? Did you pretend you were between my legs when you were ravishing your whore?"

"Stop it! You're not her!"

"We're all real, my boy. You've known it inside all along, Willie. You were a pathetic excuse for a human, and a horrible example of a vampire. No wonder Dru came running the moment I was back to myself," he grandsire mocked.

"Fuck you, Angelus! I stopped caring what spewed out of your mouth a bloody long damn time ago!"

"Tut, tut, my prince…mustn't speak to your elders that way. My Spike will have no tea and cakes today…"

"Dru…luv…if this is one of your barmy games…" Spike growled. Her tinkling laughter was the only answer.

"Spike? Spike?!" A friendly voice called him away.

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"Spike?!" Corinne tried shaking him awake, concerned.

"Wha'? Doc?" He blinked, confused, and rattled his head side to side to clear it. "Wha's the matter, pet?"

"You weren't upstairs when I got here, and then I found you down here growling in your sleep. Bad dream?" Her grey eyes showed her worry, as she observed the faint circles under his eyes. His skin was never discolored, unless he'd been in a fight.

"Something like that." Spike propped himself up on his elbows, carefully. He didn't want the bedding sliding much lower than it already was. 'Must have tossed a bit in my sleep.' "Don't really remember. What time is it?"

"8 o'clock. I got out of the hospital late. You never sleep this late unless you've been thrashed. Are you okay?" Her gaze wandered over the skin visible to her, looking for signs of injury. The only thing she saw was a nasty cut on his hand. Corinne picked it up and examined the wound more closely. Spike hissed as she poked at it. "Sorry. How did you get this? It looks nasty."

"Demon fight last night. Bugger scratched me with one of his claws. Looks worse than it feels. I'm a fast healer, remember?" He didn't take his hand back, yet, enjoying the warmth from hers.

"Did you clean it?"

"Soap and water. Quit your worryin', pet. Vampires don't get infections. Now, uh…if you don't mind, I'd like to get dressed…"

"Oh, right…oh! You, uh…" The doctor's eyes went wide as she caught on.

"Sleep in the buff?" he filled in, smirking at the blush that crept over her cheeks.

Corinne muttered more apologies and hurried to the ladder, flying up it as she heard the covers rustling. She busied herself with warming up his breakfast in the microwave. He came up a minute later, boots on but loose, and a button-down shirt still unbuttoned.

"You didn't have to do that," he said softly, tying his shoes. The microwave dinged, and she grabbed the mug.

"I wanted to." She sat down on the sofa, setting the mug in front of him, and tried not to stare at his chest, her gaze fixed on her knees.

Okay, so occasionally, she noticed that her friend was really hot. And male. And really defined. And Corinne would catch herself and put him firmly back in the 'friend zone' in her mind. Friends were a valuable commodity. Especially ones that didn't ask for favors all the time. Ones that let her be herself, even when that meant she was being a dork. Yes, a smart girl didn't screw up a relationship like that.

"Pet…"

"Hmm?"

"You seemed a million miles away." Now, it was his gaze that appeared concerned. She smiled reassuringly.

"I just wandered a bit. It was a long day. What do you want to eat tonight?"

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"Aren't you a ripe treat?" he drawled at the blonde that had lost her way. "Long way from home, luv?"

The teenaged girl relaxed at seeing such a handsome man in front of her on the dark street. "I think I took a wrong turn. Can you tell me where Simpson Street is?"

"Sure thing, pet. I'll even take you there," he purred.

The girl beamed at him in relief and eagerly fell in step with him. The helpful bad-boy routine got 'em every time. Spike lightly rest a hand on her back and guided her around a corner, into an alley. He pressed her against the wall, his body flush with hers and leaned close to her ear.

"Pretty little thing, aren't you?" he murmured, and kissed a line from her ear to her pulse point, the girl moaning as he did.

Spike grinned inwardly, right before sliding his fangs into her tender flesh. No one heard her soft cry as her life faded away…

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Spike was staring through her with this hungry look she'd never seen before. Corinne looked behind her, but nothing was there.

"Spike!"

"Huh?" His eyes focused on her again.

"Maybe we shouldn't head out tonight. You're making like a space cadet."

Spike scoffed. "I am not."

"You just did! Please tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Now, are you hungry, or should we call it a night?" he snapped, making her flinch at the sudden outburst.

"I'm not so hungry anymore. I think I'll just go home," she said in a rush, standing to leave. Corinne's hand was on the door handle, when she was whipped around and slammed against the wall.

"Did I say you could leave, bitch? That's not the way we play this game," he growled cuttingly, in game face.

She swallowed nervously, trying to stay calm. "Spike, you're scaring me."

He sniffed pointedly against her cheek. "That's the whole point, you see. Gets the fear running through your blood. Makes it nice and tangy." Spike snapped his teeth close to her throat, reveling in the way she tried to cringe away from him. Just like they all did.

'Think fast, Corinne! Your friend is having some kind of episode. How are you going to snap him out of it without getting hurt in the process?!' She did the only thing she could think of that might surprise him, but not make him angry.

Corinne kissed him.

He responded eagerly, a growl of approval rumbling through his chest as one of his fangs drew blood from her lip. His tongue thrust out to lap it up, and at the first taste of human blood, Spike came back to himself. He pushed Corinne away, completely unsettled and only knowing he needed space.

"Spike?" she asked tentatively, taking a step towards him.

"Don't!" he cried desperately, stopping her in her tracks. "Oh, god…I'm so sorry…" Spike sped out the door at vampiric speed, a mere blur to the human girl.

"Spike!" she called from the threshold, but he was already out of sight.

What the hell had happened?

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'A book, book…book. Have to find the clue…'

Not like you've ever had one of those, William.

"SHUT UP!" he bellowed, gaining odd looks from the humans on the street.

'Keep it together, mate. Don't need them calling the cops before you get to the shop.'

Spike had enough presence of mind to figure out that the demon must have done something to him. He wasn't seeing things right, wasn't hearing things right…this was not his normal state of being. He would find the Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik listed in some book at The Magic Box…and hopefully not have to beg the Slayer to help him fix this. He wouldn't hurt the people he cared about because of some misplaced delusion. That wasn't what he was about…unless they asked for it, but that was a different thing…and thinking about bondage sex with Drusilla was not going to help right now!

Spike was well and truly buggered.

"Welcome to The Magic Box! Oh, it's just you," Anya said brightly.

"Books on demon species?" he asked, getting right to the point.

She pointed to the right section and went back to tabulating the receipts. The shop was about to close for the night. Spike selected the biggest demon encyclopedia on the shelf and flipped to the 'G's'. Finding his target, the vampire rifled through his pockets for pen and paper and came up empty.

"Demon Girl! You got a pen and paper I could borrow?"

Anya sighed, annoyed that he had interrupted her calculations again, and carried the items to the research table. She peered over his shoulder to see what he was reading.

"The Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik? They actually have those around here?"

"Apparently. Killed one on the wooded side of town. Do you mind?" he replied, perturbed.

She held up her hands in defense. "Sorry. It is my book, you know, unless you're going to buy it. I was just curious," Anya huffed. The newlywed marched back to the register, muttering under her breath.

Left in peace again, Spike finished writing down what he needed, closed the book, and went in search of potion ingredients. With any luck, no one needed to know that ol' Spike had taken a temporary trip around the bend. He'd cut a stinger off another of those demons and cure himself before the night was up.

"I don't suppose you're going to pay for those?" Anya asked pointedly, as he started to walk out with his baggies of herbs.

Spike rolled his eyes and dug a bill out of his pocket, tossing it on the counter. "That cover it? I'm in a bit of a hurry."

She hurriedly swiped the $20 and nodded. "All set. Have a good evening!" Since he seemed to be in a bad mood, she wasn't going to say that it covered some of his tab, too. The vampire rarely paid for anything, unless she made him.

He snorted and walked out, thinking that was a wish not as easily accomplished as said.

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Spike got as far as his cemetery before another hallucination started to take hold.

He was in a suit, at a chapel, and looking around, he noticed that it was decorated with lots of flowers and candles.

"Hurry up, Spike! You're going to be late. You don't want to miss this!" Dawn said excitedly, tugging him further inside by the arm. She pulled him all the way to the front.

He took his place right in front of the altar, only to be pulled farther back.

"No, silly! You're supposed to stand right here! See the little 'x'?" She pointed to the ground.

"Sorry, Niblet. I'm nervous."

She smiled and ran off again. The chapel was suddenly filled with guests. The organ started to play, and everyone turned to see the bride walk through the doors.

"Buffy," Spike said reverently. She was a vision in white lace, smiling softly as she glowed with happiness. He had eyes only for her.

Spike blinked, and now Buffy was standing at the altar with a broad-shouldered man. Angel turned back to Spike and smiled coldly.

"You didn't think it'd be you, did you? I'm human! I can give her everything she needs now."

Bodies suddenly crowded in on Spike, giving him nowhere to go.

"You don't belong here! You don't belong! Don't belong!" they chanted.

"Please," he pleaded on a whisper, curling in a ball as the voices became as loud as a rushing waterfall.

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"Wicked, unclean, vile, evil, just a thing, monster, no good, unloved, undeserving…" Buffy chanted.

"Spilled the milk, spilled the ink, pulled the little girl's hair…" Drusilla chimed.

"Unworthy, pathetic, a distant second, should have been dusted long ago…" Angelus added in.

"You murdered me! Couldn't let me die in peace! Couldn't leave me alone! Spewing that useless drivel you called poetry. Made my ears bleed! All so you could stay close to Mummy. I wanted to beg you to find a woman!"

No, no, no, no, no…NO! Aren't really here, can't hurt, can't kill, can't maim. Push them away, make them stop, make them GO AWAY!!!

And suddenly, it was quiet. Spike hesitantly opened his eyes to find himself stretched out on the lawn of a cute little house. In sunlight.

"Honey?"

"Yes, luv?" he answered.

Corinne came down the steps, holding a brown haired little girl of two or three. "The barbeque is on the fritz again. I can't get it to light."

He kissed the woman and ruffled the little girl's hair. "Just use the lighter like I showed you, silly bint," he teased. They walked through the house to the backyard. He fiddled with the grill and got the flame started right away. "See? Easy."

"I guess." She grinned impishly. "I just like making you feel useful." Corinne placed the little girl in a playpen on the porch and went inside to grab the meat to cook.

"Hey, princess," Spike cooed, kneeling in front of his daughter. "Were you a good girl today?" She smiled at her daddy, looking up with adoring blue eyes.

"So your mother said. Do you think we're taking advantage of her? It can be pretty tiring chasing after an active three-year-old," his wife replied. Spike took the steaks from her and moved them onto the hot grill.

"Who would watch her? I don't know if she's old enough for daycare…" he mused, frowning a little. Not just anyone was good enough for his little Dawn.

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Corinne woke up with a start on Spike's couch. "Spike?" Her voice seemed to echo in the empty crypt. 'Not here. What time is it?' "An hour to sunrise! Shit!" She grabbed her purse and ran out of the crypt, scanning the cemetery. She started searching everywhere, looking down every row and behind every tomb to see if he'd collapsed somewhere, too hurt to make it home.

"Please be okay, Spike!"

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Dawn had been put to bed and Spike and his wife were cuddled together on the couch watching a movie. He bent his head to nibble on her neck, starting at the joining point with her shoulder.

"That's how Dawn happened," she moaned, leaning her head to give him greater access. She shivered, the sensation of his teeth scraping against her skin going straight to her core.

"And a beautiful result that was," he murmured. "Would another be so bad?"

"Mmm…no? We'd need a bigger place, though…oh, Spike…"

"I love how you say my name, pet. You give me so much," he said passionately, before they kissed. When they parted for breath, he said, "You give me home."

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"Good morning, class," Professor William greeted his students. "If you'd please open your books to Chapter 3, we'll begin an examination of Wordsworth's poetry…"

"Mr. Atherton? I have a question about yesterday's assignment…"

Spike leaned against his desk and started answering questions. Freshman weren't always the most dedicated students, but they had open minds. When Corinne had encouraged him to get his Masters' so he could teach, he'd been skeptical at first. Writing had always been his first love. But then, his mother had chimed in, too, and five years later, here he was, teaching at a college and loving every minute of it.

And the schedule gave him plenty of time to be home, too. He wouldn't be anything without his little family.

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"Spike! Where are you?" After searching for twenty minutes, Corinne had started calling his name, her safety taking a backseat to finding him before the sun could dust him. "Spike!"

She came around towards the front gate, and noticed a black lump on the grass.

"Oh, thank God!" She ran to him and fell to her knees beside him, pulling him onto his back. There didn't seem to be any injuries, but he was unconscious. "Spike? Wake up! Come on, now…" Corinne thumped lightly on his chest in frustration. "Come on, you stupid vampire! I can't drag your heavy ass all the way back to your crypt!"

"Stop pounding," he groaned.

"Oh, you're alright!" she sighed in relief. "Can you walk?"

"Mmmfph." Well, it was a start.

She got him to his feet, and he seemed to walk with her on autopilot. Whatever, as long as it got him indoors and safe, she was happy. The self-propelled sleepwalking vampire even made it down to the lower level and started stripping for bed. Corinne turned on her heel and covered her eyes as soon as she caught a glimpse of bare hip. Once a few minutes had passed and he had to be in bed by now, she turned back around. Spike was under the covers and asleep, breathing slowly, his eyes moving rapidly under his lids.

Sighing, she pulled the covers up further and brushed his hair off his forehead. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked rhetorically. Corinne brushed her lips on his forehead in a whisper-touch. "Sweet dreams, my friend."

She picked up his clothes and draped them over a chair, then paused, wondering if his pockets would provide a clue to what was going on. Justifying the invasion of his privacy with her concern for his health, she dug around to see what she could find. Lighter, cigarettes, cash, a couple mints, a ha! A slip of paper. She unfolded the notebook sheet and scanned the contents. A demon that can cause hallucinations? And I thought viruses were a problem… Okay, so he had the antidote…except that another demon was needed. Groovy.

"I hope you appreciate this," she muttered to Spike, before leaving.

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Once it was a reasonable hour, and she had changed clothes, Corinne went in search of the only person who could help Spike. She wasn't looking forward to the meeting.

It was a Saturday, so a fresh-faced Dawn answered the door. "Hey, I remember you! Spike's doctor friend…is something wrong with him?" The teen's tone turned to worry as it occurred to her why the doctor would come to her home.

"Um, is your sister around? I kind of need to talk to her…about her night job?"

"Slayer stuff? Yeah, she's here, somewhere. BUFFY! COMPANY!"

Corinne covered her ears as soon as the teen bellowed. Ow!

"Dawn, how many times do I have to ask you…oh. What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, surprise superceding her manners.

"Spike needs your help."

The Slayer crossed her arms over her chest, copping a defensive stance. "Really. And why should that concern me?"

"Buffy!" Dawn chided.

"Look, I understand you guys have a lot of…history, but this is a Slayer problem, okay? May I show you his notes?" Corinne asked, holding up the sheet of paper.

"Fine. Dawn, find something else to do." Order given, Buffy moved into the kitchen, expecting Corinne to follow.

Corinne smiled sympathetically at the teen, then followed the Slayer.

"Talk and make it quick."

The doctor spread the sheet of paper on the counter. "He's been poisoned by a demon. They use the venom to defend themselves, or on prey, and since he's a vampire…"

"They don't want to eat him."

"Right, so he's not in danger of it coming after him, since he killed it, but the poison is still doing its job. I barely got him inside the crypt this morning before sunrise."

"Why are you helping him? You're human," the Slayer asked bluntly.

Corinne turned patient eyes on the blonde. "Because he's my friend, and a good one, at that. It's not like I'm looking to immerse myself in the world of demons, but I can let a chipped vampire into my life. Besides, he has few others, and I hate to see anyone forced to be alone."

"Sounds good on paper, but he doesn't have a soul. Spike can't understand why morality is so important to us. He doesn't even feel bad about the people he's killed!"

"Look, I value human life as much as the next girl, because, hey – doctor, here – but I don't blame someone for following what they were taught, or their nature. We can't change the past, and the point is that he's doing things differently now. Spike's not stupid. He knows it would hurt the people he cares about if he hurt innocent people. The world isn't black and white. It never has been. Now, are you going to let me finish telling you about the demon?"

Buffy nodded and waved her hand for the woman to continue. She couldn't read Spike's script, anyway. It was so…old-fashioned.

"Okay. We need the stinger from the demon, while it's alive, to make the antidote. It's very important that you don't get stung, yourself. His notes say that the demon's venom causes hallucinations so severe that the victim is paralyzed and easy prey. They're literally trapped in their own mind, seeing God knows what."

"Okay, so where do I find it?"

"Woodland areas, most likely at night. There's a description here." Corinne passed the paper to Buffy

"'Ugly bald bugger who's wearing a cape.' Well, that could be anybody! Geesh, he could at least say what color it is!"

"Well, it has a switchblade-like stinger on its hand, so you should be able to tell from that. And remember, it needs to be alive for the antidote to work, so just break off the stinger and run."

"Hey, I'm the Slayer, here! I know how to plan attacks," Buffy spat.

Corinne held up her hands. "No offense intended. Just letting you know what's needed for the potion."

Buffy adopted that defiant look again. "I still haven't said if I'll do it."

The doctor rolled her eyes. "Do you need me to pay you? Would that be enough incentive?" Corinne could see why Spike had problems with the little bitch.

"I don't do my calling to get paid!" the blonde snapped. "Alright…but Spike owes me big time."

"Whatever. Just try to get it done as fast as possible. He's suffering…and he seemed to have some strange notion that you would care," she sternly replied. Corinne let herself out.

"Geeze, what crawled up your ass, Buffy?! You didn't have to be so rude!" Dawn exclaimed, coming out from her hiding place around the corner.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm going out," the Slayer shortly replied.

Dawn was soon left in the house alone, wondering why the monks had chosen her sister to be her sister.

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That evening, Buffy kicked the crypt door open, as had been her habit.

"What is wrong with you?!" Corinne hissed. "Can't you have some respect for the ill?"

"Here," the Slayer stated, thrusting the stinger wrapped in a cloth at the woman. The doctor took it, scowling.

Buffy turned to leave.

"You're not even going to look in on him?"

The blonde just kept going and slammed the door on her way out.

Corinne sighed, then went about preparing the antidote per Spike's written instructions. Portable Bunsen burners came in handy.

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"Sweetie, go to work. I'll be fine," Corinne insisted.

"Are you sure? You're sick…and Dawn…"

"I have a cold, not pneumonia. I can watch our daughter just fine. Besides, it's been a while since it was just us girls for the day." She straightened his collar and kissed him on the cheek. "Now go. Those kids need you."

"Alright, I get the hint," he teased, pulling her close and giving her a short, but intense kiss. "Something to remember me by," he added cockily.

"As if I could ever forget you. Now, go! You're going to be late!"

He laughed and stuck his tongue out at her as she shoved him out the door. "You'll miss me!" Spike called from the driveway. He waved from the black Desoto, then took off down the street.

Corinne sighed happily, then closed the door and went to attend to their curious daughter.

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"Welcome back, handsome," Corinne said softly, as the last hallucination seemed to clear.

She'd given him the antidote when he asked for coffee. It had been the perfect opportunity.

"Ohhhh," he groaned. "God, I've got a bloody migraine."

"You haven't eaten in about 24 hours, and that antidote did mention possible side effects. How are you?"

"A bit…jumbled. Remind me never to take that acid trip again," he replied, grimacing. "How did you get the stinger?"

"I asked for some help. Her manners left something to be desired, but the job was done. Don't scare me like that again, okay?" Corinne said seriously.

Spike's head tilted, his gaze discerning. "I won't," he promised, just as seriously. "I remember…I hurt you…" he added, tracing his thumb along her bottom lip. His sharp eyes could tell where the cut was, underneath her lipstick.

She lowered his hand to the bedspread, leaving hers on top. "Barely. I was more worried, than anything. You did this sudden personality switch, and I wasn't sure what would make you come back."

"Last thing I remember, that was real…I'd just walked into the cemetery, coming home…" His brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of his recent memories.

"I found you there, unconscious."

"Right…have you been here this whole time…when was that?"

"Early this morning, and yeah, pretty much. I'm going to get you some blood, and then you should sleep." Corinne rose to go up to the top level. His voice stopped her at the ladder.

"Doc…look, I know I'm not exactly blue ribbon material…but, thanks," he said quietly.

She knew he wasn't used to thanking anyone, so she just nodded, and said, "You're welcome, Spike."