Tommy's POV:
Rain was pouring softly down from the cloudy sky as I walked toward the mailbox in search for a reply to my letter from Jude. Lucky enough for me, it was there.
Tommy...
I really don't know what to say. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I know that must be hard for you...and Sloane. God, I know she must be going through something terrible now herself. What a horrid thing to have to go through at almost three years old. No child should have to deal with that kind of pain...that kind of suffering. I understand you leaving for them and for those reasons. I'm not that unreasonable. But you should never have left me there like that Tom. It hurt me so bad to see you drive off like that. Nearly ripped me apart I was burning so bad from the pain. It wasn't right to do that to me. Eventually, I'll forgive you. It's hard to hold a grudge on you for long, Quincy. You know that. But eventually may be a long time coming. I need to know that you're worth my trust again...that you won't disappear like that again. Because unless you haven't heard, when you left, not only did you take my heart you took my music. And thats almost worse than you leaving at all.
-Jude
Tears stung my eyes, as I read over her words. My conciousness nagged at me, saying crap like "You're going soft Quincy" over and over in my head. Her heart, which had not so long ago been untouched territory had been broken by me more than once the first time being on her sweet sixteen...which turned out to be not so sweet after all. I remember that day like it was yesterday...the day I realized she was way more to me than my artist. The first day I acted on it.
(Flashback)
"You all say the nicest things. I'm so great, I'm so nice. But none of you want to date me! So you want to help me Tommy? Tell me what I'm doing wrong. Tell my why I'm so easy to give up and maybe I can fix it." she cried her voice weak and broken. It hurt me to have her asking me these things...pained me to the greatest exstint. I sputtered the next few words out to her.
"You're...asking...the wrong guy!" And when I couldn't take it anymore, The pressure of seeing her vulnerable and hurt cam down on me like a sack of potatoes and I kissed her. Hard and passionatly like my life depended on the way her lips fit into mine and the way they hungrily assaulted hers.
(End of Flashback)
Then a little while after I had told her to forget about it, I dated Sadie with the ridiculous notion that maybe just maybe if I could find somebody else who was pretty and somewhat like Jude, I could forget about her. It took me all of three days to figure out how wrong I was...and how hard it was to forget about her. Especially with her sister. Then she got all pissed at me for thinking that I had cheated on Sadie, even when I hadn't. That hadn't gone over so well. I got the cold shoulder icier from a girl than I had in a long time. I finally convinced her that it wasnt true and got to tell her a piece of the truth.
(Flashback)
"Sadie and I...we weren't right." I said, watching as her mouth formed the enevitable question that we both knew the answer to.
"Why?" she said, looking right at me, in a funny knowing way. But here we were in the moment of truth, and I couldn't figure out what to say. Typical, Quincy.
"You know exactly why." I told her watching as she bit her lip in the most adorable fashion. She looked guilty at the same time as she looked sort of like she had swallowed an apple.
"Yeah..." she said her blue eyes growing to a bigger size and still avoiding me.
(End of Flashback)
It wasn't until the day after I had left her there that I had finally admitted to myself what I felt for her. Only one word described it. Love. Plain, unadulterated love.
And I had no clue what to do about it.
Jude's POV:
The randomness of the whole situation bothered me-insulted and confused me beyond recognition. I couldn't believe only 18 days had passed since he left me there standing in the middle of the road for reasons unknown. Which was better. Now that I knew why he left I just hurt worse. But now my pain was two faced. It hurt that he left.
But I hurt worse for him. His lttle sister dying. It doesn't sound right, taste right. And little Sloane. What a poor thing! To be old enough to realize who your mom is and to begin to love her and need her and then to have her swept away from you to a better place...but a place where you can't see her everyday none-the-less. What a heartbreaking burden for one man-having a sying sister and a pretty much orphaned niece. I know Tommy's strong-after all he's my rock- but can he handle that package?
I knew I had to put up a little picket fence around my heart for a while-- until the pain heals just a little. Until then, I was going to remain vulnerable.
A couple of days ago, in the wee hours of the morning, as I lay broken and undone after writing back to him and mailing it, a feeling swept over me. It was as natural as breathing and felt completely right. The clean, happy go lucky feeling flushed over me. It was ready to be sang by me...it was ready to come out. And God, was it time.
"Is this a dream
If it is Please don't wake me from this high I'd become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes To what it's like When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was looking
How did you know just where I would be Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see You found me
You found me
So there we were
And that's pretty far When you think of where we've been No going back, I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You were by my side
Then, everything was fine
I can't believe
You found me When no one else was looking
How did you know just where I would be Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see You found me You found me
And I was hiding Till you came along And showed me where I belong You found me When no one else was looking
How did you know, how did you know
You found me When no one else was looking
How did you know just where I would be
Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And then you decided you'd leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
(When no one else was lookin')
You found me
(How did you know just where I would be)
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And then you decided you'd leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between You found me
You found me."
He really was my everything. Without him, my music was truly nothing, just a bunch of plain, good for nothing, lifeless lyrics. Before I knew him, before I won Instant star, I was ok. Good, maybe. But now with him, after I won Instant Star, I was so much better. I had evolved so much. Instant Star discovered me.
But Tommy found me.