Chapter Five

Kimi ni aete, ureshikatta...
(I was happy meeting you,)

Kodoku sae mo, wakachi aeta
(Even though I could only share my lonliness,)

Ima mo, kono sora no shita, tsunagatte iru to
(Even though we're separated now,)

Sou, omoeru...hanarete mo...
(I feel that we're somehow still connected under this sky…)

--Shimokawa Mikuni, lyrics to Karenai Hana (Unwithering Flower), Full Metal Panic! ED Song

Keiki and the old royal advisor watched the still surface of the blade Suiguu. The same man who had helped King Tatsu create the blade to unite the souls of Suiguu, Hekisouju and Aozaru hoped to have some influence to use it to locate the present ruler of Kei. In reality, they were merely waiting for Suiguu, linked to the mind of the Queen, to reflect any scene at all that might give them an indication of where she might be. After an hour of no reaction, the candles flickered and the blade started to glow a pale bluish light. The silver surface of the blade wavered and from the silver pool, the image was forming. The were both surprised by what Suiguu showed them of their captive Queen.

Youko was shackled and chained to a giant iron pike sticking in the ground, shown against the early morning light atop of breezy cliff. Breathing heavily, her face was resting on her knees but the color of her loosened hair gave her identity away. It floated in trailing glowing auburn tendrils as more clouds parted and she felt the sun for the first time in many days. Beside her was an ornate, jeweled sedan with flowing gold silk curtains carried on the back of a massive, resting youman. A woman's voice was heard from the inside. The voice was rich and seductive and exceedingly cruel. In the background several youman were dragging a long, heavy wooden object to load onto a wagon.

"You can still change your mind, my dear Sekishi. I can give you everything you ever wanted, even your freedom. I will have that power once I regain my true strength. I can send you back to Hourai and erase you memory so it will be like all of this never happened. I can release you from the curse of the throne." She pulled back the curtain to reveal a beautiful face behind a jeweled veil, descending her sedan to reach over and clutch Youko's chin and force the Queen to look at her. Youko looked extremely pale and malnourished. The bruises on her face and the blood running down the side of her mouth showed that she had just been beaten, but her emerald eyes still showed defiance. She even managed to smile a little to mock her captor.

"I am only fulfilling my destiny," responded Youko.

"Destiny? What the hell is that? It's truly disappointing how you will not defy the Will of Tentei; that all-knowing, over-glorified god who ripped you from your birthplace and planted you as a puppet queen in a dying land. I can give you a world that has no restraint, no retribution and no price to be paid for fulfilling your desires. You are nothing but a bird in a gilded cage; not free to leave, not free to love, not free to die. You disgust me." The woman pushed Youko's face away and walked over to speak with Shoukou.

Knowing that this might be her only chance, and betting that she had become so thin that she might be able to pull it off, she twisted her wrists and tried to pull out of her bonds. She bit her lip and winced as the pressure of sliding her hands out of her shackles started tearing at her skin. She closed her eyes and continued to tug, thinking of happier times with her friends, of Rakushun and even Keiki, who was dearer to her now than she had ever realized. Youko gave out a triumphant gasp as she wrenched herself free, and she toppled over and buried her face in the grass from the pain, turning away and hiding the fact that she was no longer bound. She gasped for air as she forced herself not to pass out. The dislocation of her thumbs was a necessity. The Taishi winced at the image of her plight. Unwittingly, Keiki's hand reached up to grab the blade, cutting his fingers in the process.

"Shu-jou," he whispered painfully.

Shoukou came back from their discussion and addressed the Queen while she lay on the floor.

"My Lady has plans to crucify you soon before Heaven's Gate. But before your life is over, shall we first nail your hands and feet to the beams? I dare Tentei to strike me down," Shoukou laughed haughtily. "You sought to best me, and now, you are outdone." He stepped closer to her, but with her last strength she rolled away from him, and managed to stand up.

She visibly trembled from not having moved so much in days. But she was still defiant and with a deep breath she squared her shoulders back.

"As charming as we find your present offer, we're afraid we must decline," said Youko in her most royal courtly manner. "You see, I have the problem of not knowing when or whether I am defeated. I prefer to take my chances with Death first," she smiled. She stepped back further to the edge of the cliff. "But if Death does not take me now, and I live through this, then I promise you that I will take both of your heads myself and I will put them on stakes and leave your bodies in the middle of the field where crows and youman can pick you apart piece…by…piece. Tentei need not bother for the Queen of Kei will put an end to this." Youko took another step back. A serious and deadly gleam shone in her glittering green eyes and a defiant laugh stained her lips; and then Youko deliberately leaned backward and fell over the cliff into the raging river below, head first, disappearing below its surface with barely a splash.

Both the Taishi and Keiki stood silent and extremely disturbed by what they had seen. As the old mentor pried the Saiho's fingers off the blade, handed him a handkerchief for the wound, and put the sword back into the scabbard, they could still hear the ringing of its blade. Keiki was forced to sit down in the nearest chair, breathing steadily and trying to ignore the smell of his blood gathering and clotting in the folds of the handkerchief. The Taishi also sat down and shook his head in disbelief.

They realized that looking for the Queen was a daunting task. That scene could have taken place anywhere near the Northwest mountain range. It would take days to locate that cliff, and even then, the whereabouts of the Queen would still be unknown because she would have washed away in the river, carrying her who knows where.

"At least we know that she is alive, Saiho," sighed the Taishi. The death of his most prized pupil, the Queen of Kei would be a very sad loss for the country, especially since she was just barely crowned that year. The suffering of the people without the Queen on her throne would mark another dark age for Kei.

"Saiho-sama, you must find Kei-Ou sama at all costs," said the Taishi.

"You need not remind me," replied Keiki.

"She is tough as an iron shield; like a blood red flower with thorns, unyielding in the frost. But still, when you find her, make sure you have a warm change of clothes for the poor child. The waters are cold this time of year." The Taishi sighed and rolled out a map of Kei onto his table. "I would try all of the rivers closest to the mountain range. A cliff like that is in a deeper valley, and those only form closer to the mountains, where the rivers are older," he suggested.

"I will search every inch of of the Twelve Kingdoms, if I need to," answered Keiki. "My first search for her led me much farther than that." He summoned his shirei.

"I will need all of your help," he requested.

"As you command, Saiho," they responded in unison. Keiki then transformed into his original form, that of the holy creature known as a kirin, part horse and part deer, with a single two-pronged horn from its forehead. The Taishi knelt and bowed in its presence, and without another word the kirin disappeared out the terrace window and into the velvet, moonless night.

000

Youko found herself rather warm and comfortable. It took her a moment to realize that she was still alive. She opened her eyes and found that she could only see through one of them. The other was covered in bandage wrapped around her head that covered her vision on the left side. She raised a hand to touch it and saw that her right and left thumbs had also been splinted and bandaged securely to her hands.

"You had a bit of nasty treatment from your captors," said the voice of a young man. She turned her head slightly to see that beyond the campfire that was keeping her warm, and handsome visage was sitting across from her on an old log. Youko tried to sit up, rather unsteadily, but before she lost her balance, a large, strong beak propped her up so she could sit up straight. She looked behind her to find a winged youman with gentle eyes.

"I didn't expect that. But thanks," smiled Youko weakly at the youman. She looked back toward the young man.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

"We've met once, briefly on Mt. Hou, when you were mistress of the mountain prior to your ceremony," he answered, stirring the fire with a stick to maintain its flame.

"Mt. Hou," she pondered for a moment. "It sounds familiar. Where is that?"

The stranger looked at her for a moment puzzled and then realized what was wrong. He got up and went over to her, which took her aback since he seemed to glide over so gracefully, and touched her forehead.

"I see. You took a mighty knocking about in that river, which seems to have met with you twice in the same week. That's rather unfortunate," he said in a rather understated way. "But it is not because of these wounds that your recollection is lost. Someone has tried to tamper with your mind and now it is closed, even to you. Do you not know who you are?" he asked gently.

Youko looked into his kind, deep eyes and thought they looked very akin to a pair of violet ones she had seen somewhere before. She shook her head in confusion.

"I cannot recall," she answered simply. After staring at the dirt on her bare feet, she realized that she was completely naked, but for the warm, furry blanket her rescuer had wrapped around her dutifully. Her clothes were hanging on a low branch nearby to dry. She pulled the fur closer to herself for warmth and looked up.

"But you seem to know who I am. Can you not tell me?" she asked hopefully.

"No, I cannot. Only you can tell yourself who you are; it would not be my place to say. Your mind is tired, so we should let it rest." He got up at looked around the clearing, as if scanning the dark forest around them.

"There is a group of traveling performers coming this way. They will also spend the night here, as it is near a Yaboku tree," he indicated toward her left and she saw a tall, white tree that seemed to glow. It had no leaves, and no fruit, but there was something very comforting about its presence. It seemed to exude warmth and scent of warm, sweetened milk. Her rescuer got up to leave.

"Wait," she called. "I don't know your name. How can I thank you properly for what you have done for me?"

"You may call me Kouya. It is a name that was given to me," he smiled.

"Kouya san, thank you," she managed to smile genuinely. Her face felt as though she hadn't done that for a long time.

"We will meet again before long, Chu-Yoshi sama." He got atop his youman and with a giant flap of both wings that picked up leaves and debris he drifted over the tree line and disappeared. Youko could hear the wagon wheels coming closer and wrapped herself tightly in the large fur.

Chu-Yoshi. Is that my name? she asked herself.

"Whoa, horse, whoa!" called out the voice of a man. A horse whinnied and stopped pulling its rickety wooden burden. She could hear its hooves pawing the ground.

"Sachou-san, I see there's a campfire in the clearing; but there's also some sort of fuzzy creature sitting next to it. Could it be youman? Or hanjyuu, perhaps?" the man asked quietly, in a low voice.

"I have the feeling it is neither," said the voice of an elderly woman.

"Do not fear me," said Youko steadily to the others. "I am merely taking shelter here to recover from my ordeal. I have apparently fallen into a river twice and am using this fur for warmth as my clothes are still drying. You may join me if you wish." Several cautious footsteps came closer to her.

"I recognize that voice," said a little girl. She ran up to Youko and looked at her, feeling the damp red hair between her little fingers.

"Nii-chan!" she exclaimed. But she looked closer and Gyoukuyou became confused. "But you look more like an onee-chan right now…"

"I am a girl, silly. At least I think I've always been one. Do you know me?"

"Of course I do, Onee-chan. We traveled together for a few months to drop you off at the harbor in Kou. But don't you look terrible now!" she remarked honestly. The others came to Youko as well, rather shocked at her bedraggled and wounded appearance.

"Oh, you poor thing. You look like you nearly drowned and have not eaten in weeks. Let me see what I can make for you!" said Bishin.

"Did you get beat up, or something?" asked Koutetsu gruffly. Youko looked up at the large burly man and into his kind eyes. He was truly concerned about her. She merely shrugged.

"I'm not sure, since my memory seem to be blank. I can't even remember who any of you are, although you seem to know me rather well. I guess we are friends, then," she concluded.

"Let me see if I can find some healing salve for your cuts," grumbled Koutetsu and went back to their wagon to rummage through his traveling pack.

"You are a kaikyaku," smiled Sachou-san. "We took you in as one of us for a while. I shall tell you the whole story of what we know of you, if you'd like." She sat down on the log opposite Youko to warm her hands. "It's a cold night, dear. It's too cold to be alone tonight. If you don't mind, we'll stay here with you."

"Please do," smiled Youko. Her heart told her that these were people she could trust, and besides, the Sachou-san seemed very grandmotherly and comforting. From the looks of her injuries, they concluded that someone disliked her very much and that she may still be in danger. For a girl with no memory, a friend was a good thing to have. Bishin busied herself with searching for leftovers in their traveling wagon.

"Okay, I've got a pot of fish stew ready to boil here," sighed Bishin satisfactorily after rummaging through the wagon for leftovers. "Who wants some?"

"Me!" cried out Koutetsu and Gyoukuyou at the same time. The two competitors both glared at one another. The others simply laughed as they unpacked their sleeping tents and started to set up their camp.

"I'll have some too, thank you," smiled Youko. When it was done, she was handed a wooden bowl and spoon and sat cross-legged before the campfire with the others. Though she was wrapped in a large fur blanket, and was mostly covered in dirt from head to toe, there was something familiar and comforting about the whole scene. But Youko also felt that something was missing. Her head hurt whenever she tried to remember all she had forgotten. But for now, it was time to eat, and she couldn't remember smelling anything so delicious in a very long time.

000

Youko looked up at the electric blue sky and the scattering clouds on a cold afternoon in mid-autumn. She stretched her back as she stood up and heard some cracking as her bones realigned themselves in their joints. She took a deep breath and inhaled the brisk air into her lungs and let it all out a slow, steady exhale.

"Good work, Chu Yoshi-san," she smiled as she admired her work. Three long, perfect lines of linens and laundry were washed, hung and drying in the sun. The troupe had stayed on the outskirts of a town called Hien, near a brook that sprang from the Shu River, due south of the Northwest Mountain range. They had remained hidden under the thick forest canopy for a while, not only because Chu-Yoshi needed time to heal her wounds, but also because an unprecedented number of youman were flying about in the night, searching for something. They didn't dare travel too far until their companion had enough time to heal her wounds, for she was the best fighter of them all and could defend them if need be.

Youko didn't feel much like a defender as much as she felt like a laundress at this time. Her body felt heavier than she recalled it had ever been in the past. She was virtually useless until her hands healed, and the wounds on her head were taking their time and would often give her headaches if she traveled too far or stayed awake for more than twelve hours. Still, she wanted to make herself useful, and the only thing she could think of was doing their laundry. Strangely enough, she did not scar as badly as she thought she would, and her bones mended quite well after Sachou-san and Koutetsu had wrapped her with many li's worth of bandages dipped in salve over the course of the few weeks she had stayed with them. Koutetsu made the comment that she was blessed by Tentei, the Will of Heaven, and she wondered if it was really true.

Sachou-san and Bishin explained all that they knew about her, and she thought the story sounded really familiar. It was strange to hear about people talking of her, when it really sounded like she was hearing about someone else. Her memory on the other hand, was not really jolted by any of this information. But at night, she constantly had dreams about various people whose faces she could not recall but whom she knew to be friends who knew her and cared very much for her. In particular, she had dreams about a tall man with golden hair to whom she felt keenly bonded. The more time she spent away from him, the more she knew that he worried about her, and she felt that somehow she was severely disappointing him. Youko did not speak of these things to her traveling companions. But her loneliness and emptiness were strongest in the night.

Recently, she had been having dreams of a blue monkey-like being, who constantly laughed at her and snickered at her predicament. It was on one particularly cold night that she had yet another dream of that damned blue monkey. Youko tossed and turned uncomfortably in her tent as a conversation between herself and Aozaru took place in her head.

"Hee, hee, hee, hee…." snickered the monkey. "Still trapped in your own self-denial, eh Sekishi?"

"Shut up you stupid monkey. All you do is laugh at me," sighed Youko in the dream.

"Too ashamed to admit that you fell in love with your kirin," he grinned. "Pathetic as I think you are, even I am surprised. What would the others say? What would your kirin say?"

Youko looked away and said nothing.

"Well, even if your body heals, you are still invisible to youman because of that spell, and therefore your precious kirin's shirei cannot sense you. Come to think of it, he's pretty useless if his shirei can't help him. This whole forest reeks of blood because of Yin's gathering youman. The mere thought of blood makes him woozy, so it would be a miracle if he actually found you." The monkey hopped and did cartwheels around her in glee at her mental anguish. "Your people are being picked off and eaten as we speak. You must feel pretty useless right now, eh?"

"Shut up," responded Youko.

"Shoukei and Suzu are close by, though, as is Suiguu, my better half," smiled Aozaru. "Too bad they will all have passed this place by since it is so well hidden, and you will forever lead the life of a laundress until you die, which will be soon if your kingdom crumbles and Tentei is tired of waiting for your return." Youko suddenly felt very angry.

"Aozaru, if I die such a mundane little death you'd be so bored. Wouldn't it be better if you continued to torment me back in Kimpa and laughed at all my little mistakes for an eternity? That is our destiny, after all," rebuked Youko. The monkey had no trivial response to this remark.

"For once, you stupid monkey, make yourself useful. Find Suiguu to tell them all where I am!" she ordered. The monkey looked a little surprised, and then faded away and she awoke with a start. She felt hot all over and wondered if she had a fever. Touching her forehead, she realized that she might.

She had seen the monkey so many times at night while sleeping. For the first time, she actually recalled the dream she had of the monkey, as if he had actually been right there in front of her, conversing with her. Unfortunately, she didn't understand the conversation at all. It was as if her subconscious was still aware of who she was, but wouldn't share it with her conscious mind. Or, perhaps she was going crazy from the internal bleeding of her head wound. She really couldn't tell.

Comment: Oops, more fluffiness in the next chapter; be forewarned and stop here if you are anti-fluff. I'm making this up as I go along and I still don't know how it's going to end…But the fluffiness just flowed out of my fingertips, like magic...Oooooo... –Kero.