Chapter Seven

"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Chesire cat."

--Julian Huxley (1887-1975)

Youko breathed in the fragrance of the brisk morning air deeply. Most of the soldiers at her camp were still asleep, except for the armed soldiers on guard and lookout duty and the Queen's Guard, who woke early every morning to practice their spear throwing and riding skills. They were the more elite soldiers selected by General Kantai and trained by the minister of the palace guards, Koushou. Their shouts were heard in the distance. Even Shoukei and Suzu were still asleep somewhere in the camp.

Extending her right arm outward with sword in hand, Youko then began her exercise. These moves were taught to her by the Taishi, formerly her elder teacher Enho, who indicated that her predecessor King Tatsu had developed this sword fighting style for Suiguu especially, when he first forged the blade. A long list of warriors had learned the fighting style from the scrolls that Enho had left behind in the royal library. Fortunately for Youko, Enho himself had taken the time to teach it to her, which she concluded was much better than studying it two-dimensionally. It was a steady routine, that taught discipline in the body and strengthened the muscles as well as the purity of meditation. Not having exercised or fought in a while, she knew that she needed her body in top performance for the days ahead. Not only was Yin and Shoukou still at large, Youko wanted to make sure that if she fought, she would not fail.

Her form was swift and graceful as she practiced her swordplay with Suiguu. Its silver blade sung in the air as it cut into nothing, as if it too were pleased with the exercise. The Queen could feel the presence of Jouyuu nearby, who at Her Majesty's request, waited patiently until she needed him again.

He had been ordered by Keiki to keep an eye on the Queen regardless of whether she needed him and Youko had felt the Hinman nearby ever since she returned. She felt that without the Hinman, her bodily actions were still heavy and the exercise was grueling, but this was the only way to test her true limits and not overdo it. She felt neither pain nor fatigue when Jouyuu was in her, which was good in battle, but bad when she couldn't assess how much damage she was doing to her body. Also, in the event that Jouyuu was unable to help her, she would make sure she could defend herself. Youko did not wish to repeat the incident of her capture.

Since her return, she had rested for a few days, and then continued governing in absentia by signing important documents Keiki and the Chousai sent to her, but leaving the rest to them for the time being. A quick letter from Rakushun did express his deep concern for her well being. He was happy that she was all right but hoped for her speedy return. Not wanting to worry him, Youko responded that all was well and left out some of the more exciting parts of her story, such as the torture and the memory loss.

She also wished Rakushun good luck in the upcoming examinations, for which he went to the capital's library on a daily basis to study for. But she did promise a quick return and ordered that they all keep her present plan for battle under wraps with the other ministers. As far as the people and Kei and her government were concerned, she was out in the Northwest Mountain range honing her battle skills by tracking and killing youman who endangered the border towns and villages.

In the stillness of the early morning, her movements flowed like rushing water as she continued to practice, as she set aside all unnecessary thoughts from her mind—especially recollections of her dreams of late, tormented by the blue monkey, bringing unbidden images of Yin and Keiki nonstop.

But now, for the time being, neither thoughts of Yin or her kirin would break her concentration. The sound of the sleeves on her short robes, and her fluttering silk sash ends flying through the air with her fluid movements soothed her spirit, like a form of meditation. She breathed out her chi in short controlled breaths and began the finishing moves of her routine. Her arms extended out horizontally and as she spun out like a top using her legs as a counter balance, and when she stood erect again, she flicked her wrist down and twisted it up in a parry. A sudden sharp pain shot up from her thumb to her elbow and she nearly dropped her sword.

"Ouch!" she cried out, as her finishing move faltered and she stopped practicing. With elbow's out, she raised both hands above her forehead and breathed out her chi slowly to complete the exercise. Youko rubbed her right wrist to work the kinks out.

"Kei-Ou sama," said Jouyuu. "It would be best that you cease practicing for the time being. You have not yet healed completely."

"I know. But I think even you know that I can't stay at rest for too long," she smiled.

It was then that she realized that they were not alone. She could sense Jouyuu immediately beside her, ready to merge with her at her command, but she held a hand up indicating to wait. Looking out into the forest surrounding the clearing, she saw the familiar face of Kouya in the ever brightening sky.

"We meet again, Kei-Ou sama," he smiled. A cool breeze picked up his raven dark locks and the hems of his clothes fluttered out.

"Kenrou Shinkun sama," she said, clasping her hands together in greeting and bowing from her waist in respect. "I did not think that you and I would see each other again," she added.

"I did say we would meet soon, didn't I?" he asked. "But it seems as though you have not yet healed completely." He removed a brown leather pouch tied to his waist and offered it up to her.

"These herbs were picked from the western side of Mt. Hou, where the wind is calmer. They have amazing healing properties."

"I thank you," said Youko, stepping taking the pouch from him. In this proximity she noticed that he had the scent of a cool, dark forest.

"I apologize earlier for not being able to assist you further with your memory," he remarked.

"Not at all. You were right. It was up to me to figure out who I was. Those words still ring true for me," she smiled ruefully.

"I take it you are practicing for your confrontation?" he asked as he sat down on a nearby rock. "You're not bad, actually. Even without a Hinman, I think you could give a lot of people a run for their money. Young, strong and beautiful is the new Queen of Kei…" he said with an unfathomable look on his countenance. Youko could feel the blood rise to her face and looked away. She wasn't used to being complimented by a god.

"I think Tentei knew what it was doing when it chose you. You may just be the right person to strike Yin down," he added. Kouya took a sip from his flask of water collected from the pools of Mt. Hou and offered some to her.

"Are you saying that you're not sure?" she asked, taking a sip from the leather flask.

"No one knows what Tentei's Will is, not even us. 'Destiny' and 'fate' are such a loosely embodied words. With free will, we are choosing paths for ourselves by the minute. But overall, it is said that Tentei's Will oversees and influences all. So yes, you were chosen by Tentei for many purposes. This could be one of those purposes" said Kouya. "But I do know this. You are a very capable ruler and very capable young woman. No matter what Yin has tempted you with, or what she has shown you, I believe that you will make the choice that is the most just, and the most wise."

"You know of what Yin has said to me?" she asked tentatively, slightly mortified at the thought. She hadn't shared any of the nuances of her discussions with Yin, not even with Shoukei or Suzu.

"No, I don't," smirked Kouya. "But did you want to talk about it?"

"Not in particular," said Youko uncomfortably.

"I didn't think so," he chuckled. "But Yin has a reputation you know. For many years now I've been assigned the task of keeping my eyes on her and if I may, her mode of operation is rather redundant. Shoukou is only one of many pawns she's used to create havoc at her leisure. I'm certain that you knew of your predecessor crowned prior to You-Ou?"

Youko nodded.

"Yin was a beautiful courtesan at the time and her beauty captivated the former king. During the last years of his life, she filled his head with doubts and rumors that eventually drove him mad. How else do you think that a king who had ruled so prosperously for hundreds of years suddenly falters and starts slaying his own people? I wouldn't be surprised if she was also influencing Kou-Ou before he died."

"The king who tried to kill me when I first arrived here?" asked Youko. Kouya nodded.

"How?"

"Yin gets around. You wouldn't have guessed to look at her, but she is a seinin and knows the world very well. She's traveled the world a hundred times over to gage the strengths and weaknesses of each kingdom, doing some damage here and there. How else does a ruler like Kou-Ou of a prospering young nation suddenly turn on another ruler out of mere jealousy? It's not like he had anything to be jealous about, right? Kei was a total mess at the time. I heard you weren't doing too well in the beginning yourself," he added.

"The more a kingdom is in disaster, the more youman can feed on fear and the weak and that makes her my problem. I am under the impression that she has a rare tree that spawns youman. I have no idea how she found it, or how she has learned to cultivate so many ranka. I suppose blood sacrifices are necessary. But now that you have ascended the throne, this is a problem for Yin, who is infiltrating your lands. If she isn't stopped now, she may very well just migrate to Kou and bide her time there if she fails in her latest scheme to kill you. If Kou and Kei are both in disarray, it fits her purposes perfectly. The neighboring kingdoms will feel the effects as well. Where better to start a revolt against Tentei amid some of the unstable kingdoms? She certainly has enough youman. Her forces are many thousands strong now, and that's enough to help her at least get through."

"Really?" asked Youko thoughtfully. That sounds like a bit more than what I expected."

"Which is why I'm here," he smiled. She looked at him for a moment in question and looked around. Then she looked back at him.

"By yourself?" she asked. He opened his mouth as if to say something, and then let out a hearty laugh. Youko furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, still puzzled.

"You wouldn't know it to look at me but I do have a small army of trained youman," he said simply. "I tamed them myself. I usually just employ them to keep watch over things, save the occasional homeless orphan—you know how it is. But they would move against Yin if I asked it of them." Youko was shocked. To look at Kenrou Shinkun was to think, "homeless wanderer," at first glance. She had no idea he was that powerful.

"I guess it just goes to show not to judge a book by its cover," laughed Youko in spite of herself.

"So, where is this Gate of Heaven, then?" she asked.

"Ten-Mon is not a fixed place. This year, I believe it will appear over Kei in a fortnight. Yin has probably anticipated this. No one really knows when it appears and few ever see it. It travels in a pattern over different locations each time on a yearly basis and opens its doors to let in the souls of the dead. Next year, there will be many souls to collect in Tai; and the year after, Kou. This time around, it is collecting the dead from your kingdom, but will not return until it has made its way around again," he explained.

"A traveling gate…who knew?" said Youko, staring up blankly at the blue sky. "What's beyond Ten-Mon?"

"Tentei," he answered simply. "It's like a short cut to the mountain on which He resides. The mountain is too far for any ordinary god to get to, or even climb, let alone Yin."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," said Youko, not really understanding. "But what does she hope to accomplish there? Surely, Tentei is a force that is so strong that she couldn't possibly…"

Kouya merely shrugged. "No one's ever tried this. How better to express your dissatisfaction with the order of the world than by striking against the Creator of the World? No one ever said that gods couldn't go mad," he sighed. "Or die, for that matter."

"Twelve days from now the Gate will appear over the Northwest Mountain range. You will know it when you see it, as you are part goddess yourself. That's where you will find Yin and I will join you there," he said, getting up to leave. "I'm glad to see that you are feeling better," he added. "Back there at the river, I had a mind to take you in myself."

"Thank you for all of your help," said Youko politely, refusing to blush, using her most formal speech, clasping her hands and bowing again as he retreated back to the forest. He waved his hand absently as he disappeared from sight.

Just as he left, she could hear the camp coming back to life behind her. The encampment was beginning to stir. The sun had risen a little higher in the sky now, and Youko raised her eyes to the cerulean blue sky.

"Ten-Mon, huh?" she said to no one in particular. Youko had no idea what Yin could possibly accomplish by raising an army of youman and bringing it to the doorstep of the Creator of All Things. Perhaps the gods were finally tired of Yin and Youko was now their tool to get rid of her once and for all. Though it would be beneficial to her kingdom if Yin was finally stopped, she couldn't help but feel a little used. Now it seemed that not only was her destiny saving Kei from its own destruction, but also saving the world from a wayward goddess. She didn't want to say it but the words, "why" and "me" were on the tip of her tongue. Perhaps it wasn't Tentei's Will to smite things down with lightning bolts but Youko certainly concluded that the other way would be a lot easier for everyone.

"I guess You don't want to make it easy for everyone," she said ruefully, still staring at the sky.

"Youko," said a familiar voice behind her. "What are you looking at?" She turned to see Shoukei and Suzu walking towards her. One had a tray of steaming bowls of rice porridge and another had a warm looking robe for the queen. They were both dressed in simple traveling clothes to blend in to the environment but one any given day at the palace or the capital, they were two of the most highly regarded courtiers of Kei.

"Nothing," responded the queen. "I was just seeing someone off."

"Who?" asked Suzu.

"At this time of day?" asked Shoukei.

"You actually wouldn't believe me if I told you," laughed Youko, taking a bowl of porridge and a spoon.

"Try us," said Suzu. She and her friends then sat cross-legged on a cluster of large boulders eating their porridge as Youko recounted her morning to her friends. It was almost like they were back at Kimpa Palace again, three friends eating together and telling stories.

"I can't believe it. Kenrou Shinkun sama himself," said Shoukei after finishing her breakfast.

"I've only seen him once, but I've never spoken to him before," added Suzu.

"But why you?" asked Shoukei. "Maybe we can enlist the aid of some of another monarch, like En-Ou sama?"

"Not enough time," remarked Suzu. "It does seem rather unfair for Youko, though."

"It's just my luck, I suppose," sighed Youko. "Yin's a threat to Kei and therefore I must eradicate this threat to my kingdom."

"I'm afraid we won't be of much use to you in this department," added Shoukei. As a former princess and then as a servant, she never did learn how to fight.

"That's all right. You two can wait for me here or help me do some damage control back in the capital," suggested the queen. "Make sure all of Shoukou's former liaisons aren't plotting to usurp me while I'm gone. I'm certain that Yin chose Shoukou to replace me. There must be those still in Gyouten who are loyal to him. I need you two to lure them out and corner them. Do you think you can pull it off?" she asked.

"Can we pull it off?" asked Suzu, feigning insult. "You forget, Kei-Ou sama that I have a small army of palace servants at my disposal."

"And I have a small army of the Brotherhood's spies all over the country at my disposal," added Shoukei.

"We won't fail," they concluded with determination in their faces. Youko rolled her eyes and laughed.

000

That night, back in her tent, sitting on her table was a delivery from a messenger consisting of a whole new stack of documents that waited for her perusal and signature.

"It never stops," she sighed. After washing her face and hands and changing into her sleeping robes, Youko rolled up her sleeves and sat down to the task. Each document concerned the local requests from all provinces for funding, permission to rebuild or tear down old government structures, for canals and new irrigation routes, for sandbags for the rainy season and voluminous reports Minister of Law on the ongoing trials of those involved with Shoukou. The other documents reported on everything else; from granary stores to shipping reports, the queen read statistics and analysis on the infrastructure of the kingdom. Everything had to be read and signed. She was still a slow reader, and often had Keiki read the documents for her, but as she practiced more, the words started making more sense on their own.

The night wore on and the sounds of the camp outside became quieter as the soldiers returned to their tents and the officers retired for the night. Youko yawned and stretched after sitting at the table for a few hours and called a servant to refill her teapot with fresh leaves and more hot water. She also sent for a messenger to pack the finished documents for delivery the next morning. Realizing that she was not even halfway through, she peeked into the first document of the next stack and saw that the census for the provinces had finally been finished. In the two years since she had announced herself as the true queen, most of the people on the outskirts of Kei had returned within its borders and registered as citizens of their home country. Not wanting to deal with numbers at this time Youko pushed the rest of those documents aside. She knew that she would have to think about next year's budget for the kingdom with the Chousai and the Taishi later when she returned.

She worked her right wrist around in a circular motion to keep the soreness at bay. Her writing brush wasn't helping her recovering injury. Youko took a sprig of the herb out of the satchel that Kenrou Shinkun sama had given her and stared at it curiously, wondering how she was to make it into a salve and apply it. As she put her chin in one hand and twirling the sprig between her fingers with the other, the queen suddenly blushed at the thought of Kenrou Shinkun sama calling her beautiful.

"You take the bulb and crush the seeds into a fine powder. Then you add oil to turn it into a paste," said Keiki, standing at the entrance. She hadn't even realized that he had come inside.

"Don't you ever knock?" asked Youko, feeling a little irritated at the unannounced presence of her know-it-all kirin.

"But Shu-jou, this is a tent. There's nothing to knock on." he responded simply. Without further adieu, he collected the herbs from the satchel, including the sprig that she was still holding, and commenced to pluck the flower bulbs from the stems and drop them into a bowl.

"So, what do you think?" she asked.

"About the war you are about to wage on an exiled goddess or your lamentable handwriting?" he asked, indicating towards the open document on the table with her scribbled signature.

"How droll. I didn't know you acquired a sense of humor while I was gone," retorted Youko sarcastically. "I was referring to the former not the latter." She paused a bit and added, "You know that's why I have the royal seal with me. They automatically know that it's my signature." Youko waited for a response and watched as he took a stone mortar and pestle from her medicine chest and began to grind the seeds by hand.

"If you're asking for my opinion on our present situation, I don't approve of what I know you are about to do. I'm not certain that this is your responsibility entirely, but it seems you are up to the task. I will send all of my shirei to assist you," he said solemnly. A servant came in with a bowl full of fresh tea leaves and tea pot of boiling water, bowed once and set it on a nearby side table, collected the stack of finished documents to deliver to the messenger, and bowed again before leaving.

After a little bit, she asked him gently, "Keiki, how did you feel about You-Ou?" The pestle ground into the mortar at an odd angle and threatened to spill the herbs over to the side, but caught it just in time. He breathed deeply.

"Why do you ask now, so suddenly?"

"I want to know," she answered simply.

"I gave her my full protection and allegiance as she was my master. I feel the same towards you as you are now my master." He continued to grind the seeds and Youko could not see the expression on his face.

"How did you feel when she told you that she loved you?" Youko asked quietly.

He paused a bit before answering. "I felt helpless as I could not reciprocate her feelings. It is outside the bounds of being a kirin. In hindsight, I wished there was something I could have done or said that could have alleviated her troubles," he answered honestly.

"When I think of her, all I can do is feel sorry for her. But it's not like I don't understand her. It's a fairly normal desire to simply want to be loved. I remember how lonely I was when I first started as Queen," Youko said quietly. "But I suppose as Queen, the love and affection of my people should be enough. Still I wonder, what if it isn't? What happens then?"

"Shu-jou," said Keiki hesitantly.

"What happens when I tire of being Queen of Kei? What happens to any of us who tire of ruling a nation? Do we start ruling badly and blame it on madness until Tentei revokes our rights and afflicts our kirin with the Shitsudou? Why is it that the good-natured kirin must suffer as well for the ruler's incompetence? That doesn't seem half fair. You didn't have a choice when you came into this world as to whether or not you wanted to be a kirin or a regular citizen. You don't have a choice when you choose a ruler. It's either you sense his 'ou-ki' or you don't. Also, the fact that no ruler has a choice when he or she is chosen doesn't seem fair, does it? Either ascend the throne or die. Whatever happened to simply living your life in a way that you see fit?"

"It is a sacrifice that the rulers and kirin must make," responded Keiki quietly.

"I question its necessity. Jyokaku fought it to the very end, but chose to sacrifice her life in exchange that you could live, which I think was her dearest wish. So at the conclusion, she chose how to die," Youko sighed heavily. "Was that part of Tentei's Will too?"

After a moment, she added, "I can't say that I blame her, either. A few centuries of this," she indicated towards the stack of documents she had yet to go through, "would drive anyone mad. But in end when I compare myself to her, who is better off? Her or me? It was a question that I have thought about since I discussed it with Lady Yin."

Keiki was rummaging through the medicine chest for his box of linens. Successful, he then began to dip a few linen strips into the hot water the servants had brought for her tea and then applied the oiled salve onto one side. Youko noticed that the salve set off a scent of fresh grass and morning dew throughout her tent.

"Are you listening?" she asked. Keiki extended his hand out for hers. Rolling up her sleeve she stared at him intently waiting for his response as she placed her hand, palm up, in his.

"Shu-jou," he spoke softly as he carefully wrapped the bandage around her wrist and fingers. Youko was amazed at how pleasant it felt against her skin. "I cannot tell you if you have made the better choice for choosing to live. I cannot say that You-Ou sama made a mistake by choosing to die. I do know that you are a very capable ruler who knows herself well and it would be a loss for the people of Kei to lose your talents." He tucked the ends in neatly when he was finished and folded his hands in his lap as he thought about how to further respond. Youko marveled at how neatly the folds of the bandage were wrapped around her wrist and how Keiki knew exactly where to wrap the salve.

"But for as long as you wish to be ruler of Kei, I will be here by your side. If you should choose another path and cease to be ruler of Kei, then I will also choose to resign as kirin," he said quietly. Youko looked up at him, shocked at his response.

"Keiki," she breathed.

"If all the rulers I choose only die in misery, then I'd rather not have to choose another, if that is what happens to you as well in the end," he responded, his violet gaze meeting her emerald one. Youko could feel the emotion welling up inside of her and she got up and knelt beside him, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his robes.

"Shu-jou!" he exclaimed, shifting uncomfortably.

"Baka kirin," she mumbled as her tears flowed. "Don't say such things." If Keiki could have seen it, there was a warm, grateful smile on his queen's lips. If Youko had looked up, she would have seen the same expression on her kirin's face.

Author's Note: I didn't feel overly clever when I created my Ten-Mon theory. "Ten" means 'sky' and "mon" simply means 'door.'

This chapter turned out long, didn't it? Hope you weren't bored. (Please don't forget to take a bathroom break). It's double the size of my usual chapters, but I feel there is no way to cut them until I get to the end, wherever that may be. Ah, more blood and gore next chapter…

--Kero (1/13/07)