NOTE: I'm back! Anywho, a lot of you were wondering about how Atticus was there. I don't remember if I explained it, but I will make sure to this chapter. Okies? Okay! So read on! Hope you enjoy!

PS: Sorry for the wait. This was supposed to be up Wednesday night, but the document manager was all screwed up until now. Just so you know, I've been ready! IT was the internet keeping me back! Anywho, read on!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.

Chapter 3:

Lesson Two:

The Female

I didn't know when to go see Atticus. Six AM was too early and…well, eight just seemed too late. By then everyone in the school was up! I mean, it's Saturday for cryin' out loud! A couple hours of sleeping in is enough, right? I know Sy is always up by eight.

…Not that me banging on the door at seven fifty-nine is the cause or anything….

Besides, I didn't want the world to know that I was going to see Atticus. Unless a male student goes to see Atticus for academic reasons, everyone can more-than-guess that it is an Alexis-related situation.

I decided on an average time: seven o' clock AM. It seemed pretty good to me. I had had enough sleep by that time.

Not that sleeping through classes on Friday had anything to do with it….

So at precisely six fifty-two in the morning on this wonderfully bright and shining Saturday morning...in the chilling October….

…That was an oxymoron my dear friends.

To put it simply: October began the cold time of year.

I was freezing my butt off. Maybe those yellow blazers aren't as warm as I thought they were.

Nevertheless, I zoomed over to the teacher's dorm-

…Why are you amazed? …Didn't I mention…that Atticus became the full-time Duel Monsters History teacher after he graduated and Professor Banner left?

…No? Never? Not to anyone?

…Oops. I mean, he's quite qualified to be a great history teacher! …In a…strange…hyperactive sort of way….

Right then. So I was on my way to the teacher's dorms. Once I was inside the building –which was about as big and glamorous, if not more, as the Obelisk dorms, I slowed down a bit. It was so nice and warm in here!

Then I heard footsteps down the hallway. I shied away behind some large ferns and tried my best to keep quiet. …Students aren't generally allowed in the teacher dorms except for emergency cases. …Anyway.

That's when I saw the most horrific sight man has ever seen. I tried to look away…but there's just something about seeing something so terrible that it draws you to look at it, you know?

My heart must have stopped, because I must have surely been you-know-where to see the sight that beheld my poor, abused eyes…. (Seriously, they've seen a bit too much horror lately. What's up with that?)

It was Crowler.

In the hallway.

In his sleepwear.

Which might I say consisted of a Victorian-style frilly nightgown.

He was barefoot.

Insert Psycho music here

And…I never though I'd appreciate Crowler with his make-up on. …For poor souls like these, stores really need to make a make-up department for men so that we few poor creatures who are cursed to travel into that certain section don't get stared, gawked, and pointed at.

I really wished he had his make-up on. Lipstick and all.

REALLY. As serious as I love dueling and Ale-

Oookay, right: point being that Crowler was more than butt ugly.

So…moving ahead, he moseyed on along to the bathroom, bleary-eyed and baggy, and I scurried on down to what I knew to be Atticus' room.

It…wasn't that hard to find.

The posters of him surfing and flashing brilliant smiles plastered all over the door gave nothing away. Never.

So I knocked. Surely he was up. The teachers always complained about getting up at five or so every morning for school. Two more hours of sleep would be enough, for sure!

I heard shuffling inside. Success! The door started opening, along with a string of sentences, threats, curses, and stuff I can't repeat here.

"Alright, what the heck do you want? Do you not believe in sleeping-in-?" he stopped short when he saw that I was standing in the doorway. He peered out down the hallway, looked down both ends and pulled me quickly into his room.

"Jaden, what are you doing here? And why are you here at…" he looked at his surfer's alarm clock, "the godforsaken hour of seven AM? Don't you believe in sleep?"

I blinked. Well duh….

Atticus' shoulders slumped, "Stupid question, yes. I mean…do you believe in sleeping past…eight maybe?"

I cocked my head to the side, "Why on Earth would someone want to sleep in later than eight? Holy cow, the whole day is shot by that time!"

Professor Rhodes, as he was "professionally" called (we all still call him Atticus) sighed and rolled his eyes. He looked sadly at the clock again and then stretched, grabbing a tank-top on the way and a pair of pants (I don't have to tell you what he wore for sleepwear now, do I? Don't want the female reader's imaginations to get too overwhelmed).

"So," he sat sophisticatedly at his desk chair. By that, I mean he sat on it backwards, resting his head on his arms on the back of the chair. "What can I do for you this fine-"

"I already made an oxymoron today, Atticus," I answered. He looked at me quizzically. I continued. "I came to talk to you about…well…not academics."

"Ah, good. I hate talking about that stuff anyway."

I furrowed my brows, "But…you're a teacher!"

"Doesn't mean I like talking about that stuff on the weekends, does it? No. Right then. Continue with your "non-academic" talk."

I wrung my hands anxiously. "Well, you see," I began so well, "it's…about Alexis-"

"Say no more," he held up his hand. I stared as he stood up and walked over to me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me square in the eye. "You listen well here, boy…. …It's about time! You took your sweet time getting the guts to come around here!" a wide grin split across his face. "You have my complete permission to date her, ask her to dances, kiss her, have sex-"

My mouth dropped open as I went cherry red, "WHAT?"

Atticus laughed and punched me lightly on the shoulder, "I'm just kidding about the last part! …Sorta." He saw my horrified look and laughed again, "Seriously, I am kidding. But you do have my permission to-"

"I don't think you understand," I tried again, trying to make my excess heat disappear. For being so cold outside, I should have had this talk with him out there! I would have been warm in no time. "I don't want to date her-"

"What?" Now he looked confused.

I shook my head and held up my hands, "I mean…I don't know if I want to ask her out or anything! That's why I came to you! I thought you might be able to help me sort out my feelings! I just," I let my hands fall as well as my head, "I don't know what to think anymore. My life is spinning before my very eyes."

I felt his hand fall on my shoulder again, "Alright man, I understand. Totally understandable. Guys at your age are often unstable. I can see that you're confused and don't know where to turn. So it's only obvious that you came to me," he gave me a shining smile.

I gulped. I was starting to wonder if this had been a good idea in the first place….

"Now then," Atticus set down a stack of papers in front of me the next day. He had given me "special permission" –as if that meant anything- to come to his room when directed, in order to take a pointer or fifteen from him.

"I first need to see what you do know about talking with girls like…girls. Not the friendly manner: the "I-want-to-date-you-kiss-you-marry-you-get-in-your-pa-"

"I get it," I held up my hand. "Just stop right there." Atticus smirked. What was he laughing at? What was so weird about my behavior?

"Anyway, I want you to take this test I devised-" oh this was bound to be good, "and I have all the best answers down. Depending on your score, we'll see what we need to work on."

"I thought I came here to sort out my feelings…not become a ladies' man."

"And so you did! But we're going to kill two birds with one stone. Honestly Jaden, I really do believe you need some instruction. …You just don't have it in you," he sighed, shaking his head. "Besides," he perked up, "I already know you're in love with her, so just take the test!" he slapped a pencil down on the table and went off to relax on his bed.

"Great…it's Sunday, and I still have to take tests."

"Don't forget you have a test in my class tomorrow," Atticus reminded, picking up his Sports Illustrated magazine.

I bit my lip. Drat, I had forgotten in all this mess! Well, at least History was somewhat interesting. …Not like Crowler's classes. …It didn't help that I would never get that image out of my mind. It would haunt me forever. I would never to look at my teacher the same way. Ever. Again.

Still, I took up the pencil and looked at the first question.

A female is:

A) A member of the opposite sex

B) Someone to be treated as a friend

C) Someone to look at as a potential marital-partner

D) All of the above

I smiled. Hey, this test didn't seem so hard at all! It was obviously D. A and B were right answers (that was the second definition of "sex," right?) and I wasn't so sure about C…but we could only choose one answer, so it had to be D!

Next question:

If you got a girl you were dating a gift for Valentine's Day, which is the best gift choice?

Duel Monster Cards

Flowers and/or candy

Books

Tickets to a Monster Truck Rally

I put the eraser of my pencil against my chin. This was a tough one…. Books was a definite no, as were the tickets (I had heard that cliché story!). But the cards or the flowers and stuff? Duel Monster cards were always useful. Flowers died after some time, so what use were they? And candy was gone too after eaten. Cards actually lasted. So that must have been the right answer! A!

Forty-Eight Questions and Scenarios later:

"Finished!" I called out, waving the stack of papers to Atticus. He looked up and hopped off his bed, grabbing the stack. "Alright, I'll grade this later…after I get started on your classes' essays-"

"Weren't you going to have those to us by tomorrow?"

"…That's what I said…not necessarily what I meant…. Besides, grading papers is boring. Except this paper will be exciting! I really want to see how you do! So, I'll have this to you after school tomorrow and I'll talk to you about what we'll do from there! Alright?"

I genuinely smiled, "Sounds good!" This was turning out nicely after all!

"Alright. See you tomorrow, Jay," Atticus ushered me out the door.

"See ya," I waved back. He shut the door and I ran out back to the Ra Yellow Dorm.

Have you ever noticed that after you learn something of…at least some importance to you, it manages to spring up everywhere? You hear it in all conversations. I swear, people must always talk about what you don't know, and until you learn it, you're oblivious! Then suddenly the doors are thrown wide open and you catch what you've learned everywhere.

Let's just say that I was not happy to hear the subject I had just learned about being whispered at every corner. And what disgusted me even more was that it was all the guys doing all the talking.

Chazz was right: every male my age did talk about that all the time.

But I ignored the guys. For the most part. I just turned my head and sighed, wishing the world to be a better place.

School just ended, and I was due to go back to Atticus' classroom to see him about my "test." I was walking along with Syrus when we came up to the door. "Hey Sy, I have to step in here for a couple minutes. Go back without me: I'll meet you at the dorms."

"I'll just wait here-"

"No, no! That's…alright! I don't know how long this will be, so just go on ahead…. You know Atticus…sometimes he goes on and on," I made a couple twirling motions with my fingers and looked at Syrus with a fake smile on my face, hoping he'd buy it.

"You're going to see my brother? Jaden, what freakish idea possessed you to do that?"

I turned around and blinked slowly, "Oh…hey Alexis. Fancy meeting you here."

"So why do you have to go see the biggest ego-inflated man on the planet?" Alexis shifted her books up further against her torso and cocked her head to the side. You know…I had never really noticed how big her chest really was….

Aaaand getting away from that subject!

"He's…helping me with something," I answered.

Alexis burst out into a fit of laughter, "Him? Help you? Oh, that's the best one I've heard yet! Tell me…is he telling you how to make the ladies fall about you or something?" she giggled insanely.

I blushed. That was pretty darn close to the mark for a random guess.

A little too close.

I probably should have said something –a denial maybe…anything!- because my silence gave way to Alexis ceasing laughter and staring at me strangely.

"…You're not…seeing him to really do that…are you?"

I felt my face grow hotter, "O-Of course not! Why would you think I'd take less-I mean…do something stupid like that?" I scratched the back of my head nervously.

"Seriously, Jaden, why are you going to him?" Syrus butted in. Oh not another one…. "You've been acting weird lately. I got up yesterday at seven fifty-two –count it! Seven FIFTY-TWO- and went to your room and you weren't there! Where were you yesterday morning?"

"I went on a walk," I replied automatically. It wasn't that far from the truth. I was walking.

"Jaden," Syrus narrowed his eyes, "It was freezing yesterday."

"Yeah? Well the cold helps to get your blood pumping," I nodded enthusiastically.

"Jaden, seriously! What's going on?" Syrus pressed further. I was between a rock and a hard space….

"Ah, there you are Jaden! Just the guy I was hoping to see!" Atticus' head suddenly popped out of his classroom doorway. "Come on: you were going to help me sort out some things, weren't you? Get in here. Ah, hello there Syrus…sis," he turned to both respectively and nodded his head in greeting.

"Hey Atticus," Syrus answered.

And before the two knew it, I was behind a firmly closed classroom door.

"Whew," I sighed, walking down the steps towards Atticus' desk, "Thanks. That was getting close there."

"I take it you haven't told Sy about our little meeting yet?"

"I don't think I ever will. No offense…but it's kinda embarrassing, you know?"

"I understand," Atticus nodded gravely. "I understand."

I winced. That did not sound good. "Umm…what does that mean? Was my test…bad?"

Atticus took a deep breath and sat behind his desk, folding his hands and closing his eyes. "Let me put it lightly, my dear Jaden. You need help; and you need it badly."

I bit my lip worriedly, "How many did I miss?"

"Forty out of fifty questions…were incorrect."

My mouth dropped open. I was that stupid? Well…I suppose I was never the greatest at handling women…. But…forty?

Atticus suddenly looked up and pounded his desk to get my attention. He sure got it!

"Jaden Yuki: welcome to Atticus' School for the Hopeless. Let me tell you child, you are one hopeless case. You objective is to learn the ways of courting the women and to do so successfully-"

"I though I was here to sort out my feelings-" I tried again, as I had done yesterday.

"Ah, ah, ah! I have no doubt about your feelings! But you need serious help Jaden, and I'm the one who's going to help you! Hopeless Case Jaden Yuki: your lessons begin Saturday: nine o' clock sharp!"

Oh what had I gotten myself into?

Hey! I was VERY happy with this chapter! I seriously enjoyed writing it a lot! In fact, I really love writing this fic! Now, I know a lot of you were kinda surprised at how naïve Jaden really was last chapter, but it really made the fic more…"believable" persae. But I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next time: the real lessons begin! Huzzah! See you then! PLEASE REVIEW!