Shuddup Hill 4: The Retard Version
Chapter 11: Le Hospital
"A-arghhhh… a-air… I-I, I… n-need… need air…" Henri cried, pushing away the stacks of letters on top of him, as he struggled out of the enormous mountain of papers. "Ouch… ouch… ouch… pain, dammit!" He groaned, as he struggled out from the enormous pile of letters and memos, suffering from lots of paper cuts all over his body.
Henri fumed, as he reluctantly grabbed one of the letters on the floor for a better look at it.
"I hate you, Raychel! – Myke."
He threw it away and randomly picked out another letter.
"I hate you very much, Raychel! – Myke."
The next letter he grabbed from the pile doesn't give much information too.
"I hate you very, very much… Raychel! – Myke."
"This is so crazy… what's wrong with this Myke guy anyway?" He thought, throwing away the letters in disgust. Henri then decided to pay a visit to the Super's apartment, since he'd conveniently gotten the Super's apartment key earlier.
(Moments later… Inside the Super's Room – Room 105…)
Henri unlocked the door to the Super's room and opened it.
"Hello? Crank? Are you fucking hiding inside?" Henri called out.
Silence.
"Hello?" Henri repeated.
There was nobody inside the room. Henri slowly stepped further inside the room where he managed to find a full bunch of the apartment building keys, to all the rooms, hanging by the wall. Henri's eyes sparkled and he immediately grabbed it. "Muwahahahaha… now, I could sneak inside that Elyne bitch's apartment to steal more of her panties and- wait a minute…" Henri paused, as he looked through the bunch of keys. "… dammit! The key to that Elyne bitch's room is missing! S-H-I-I-I-T!" Henri thought, and he threw away the bunch of keys in disgust. Henri decided to continue his exploration around the Super's apartment, in hope of locating Elyne's key.
He soon ventured into the Super's bedroom and found a diary on the bedside table.
"Eh? This must be the Super's diary." He said to himself, grabbing up the diary from the bed to read.
"Meh, this is so crazy. I mean, I've got that funny dream again, about that fruity-looking man with that ugly braided hair and girly pink coat. Eww, gross. Not that I'm gay or anything. But come to think of it, he reminded me so much of my that useless bum son, Jaimes. Anyway, I recalled seeing that fruitcake weirdo 10 years ago, carrying something heavy along the stairs. That fucking thing was even leaking strawberry jam! Dammit, I even remembered scolding him for dirtying the apartment carpet. That fucking freako. Those were my expensive carpets. Now, I've got to pay for the cleaning of the carpets. Hope that fucking fruitcake rots in hell.
Crank Sonnderland."
Suddenly, Henri smelt something so disgusting, he almost puked. "What the fuck was that?" He thought, as he stashed away the diary while covering his nose with his hand. Henri glanced around the bedroom, and he saw some yellow-ish puss seeping through from underneath the Super's pillow. "What the hell?" Henri suddenly remembered what the Super had told that Elyne bitch outside his apartment, about that sickening foreskin he'd kept under his pillow. "Ewww… gross." Henri groaned silently. He slowly inched himself forward and lifted the pillow up from its resting place and peeped under it.
DUN. DUN. DUN. DUNNNNNNN!
Henri let out a gasp and fainted.
Elyne stared at the grinning stranger before her. "Eh? What is it, little boy?" She asked.
It was little Wolter.
Little Wolter just kept quiet and offered her the gross stuff he had dug out from his nostrils. "EEKKKK!" Elyne shrieked, at the sight of the nose shit before her. She then saw the presumably 'little boy' advancing towards her with the gross stuff in his hand and she immediately backed away.
"Get away from me, y-you… you… naughty boy!" Elyne cried.
But that didn't stop little Wolter from advancing forward and moving into her apartment. In the midst of her moving back inside her room, Elyne suddenly tripped and fell onto her apartment floor. She panicked. She did not want her beautiful dress to be dirtied by some nose shit or something. At least not at this time. There was the party. She needed to look pretty and to look her best for the kinky party later. It was her chance of a lifetime to be famous. Her luck was going to be better, not for worse. Elyne quickly looked back up.
Little Wolter was closing up on her.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Elyne screamed her lungs out.
Henri woke up to find himself still inside the Super's smelly bedroom. The intoxicating rotting smell was now becoming unbearable. Henri wanted to just leave the room already. But sadly, he knew that he had to bring along the filthy foreskin along with him, just like the other stuffs he had found before. He wasn't sure why, but he knew that the foreskin must be important enough to be hanging around in this abnormal world that he's in.
(A/N: Foreskin 'hanging' around… get it? Wahahahaha… okay, bad joke… my bad.)
Henri groaned and covered at his nose, as he forced himself to move towards the bed and removed the pillow away. Henri cursed at the Super, for being such a sick-o and for keeping a disgusting flabby foreskin under the pillow, as he slowly reached for the limpy-looking, smelly, and obviously badly decomposed foreskin on the bed. The foreskin felt cold and clammy at his touch. Henri shuddered. "Eew… eew… eew…" He thought, and he quickly grabbed it tightly and stashed in inside his pocket.
"Damn, can't find that Elyne bitch's key anywhere…" Henri said, after continuing his search in the entire apartment. Henri finally gave up the search and he disappointingly stepped out of the Super's apartment. It was then when he had walked back to the main lobby on the ground level of the apartment building, he began to feel tired. Henri suddenly realized that all of the stuffs inside his pocket were starting to weigh him down. He knew that he would have to somehow lighten up his load in order to increase his chances of not being molested by that gay-ish purple freak.
And so, Henri decided to head back to his apartment, through the portal in this place, to free his pocket from all the heavy items into the storage box in his living room.
(ZAP!)
After like changing into another set of clean underpants, Henri headed straight to the storage box sitting in the living room and proceeded to dump all of the crazy stuffs he had had inside, except for some self defending melee weapons.
Just as he had finished re-organizing his inventory, Henri heard some commotion outside his apartment door and he went over to the peephole to take a look.
Through the peephole, Henri saw the fruity Wolter hopping around the corridor when he was suddenly pounced by a bunch of stupid canines. "AHHHHHHHHH!" Wolter screamed like a girl, as he kicked and punched at the dogs.
"HA! What an idiot!" Henri snickered.
The canines were now at Wolter's butt, biting and tearing his pink leather pants to shreds. "Get these fuckers away from my beaut-eeeeeeeee-ful ass." Wolter shrieked in pain.
Henri sweatdrop.
As Henri continued looking intently through the peephole, enjoying at how the fruitcake Wolter suffered in pain and agony, his view was somehow disrupted when a purple mass suddenly appeared from nowhere and it stopped directly at the peephole. Henri froze. His head was starting to throb in pain. "Could it be…" Henri thought.
Then, the blob of purple mass quickly turned around to face the peephole from outside. It was the Teletubby. "GAH!" Henri shrieked. The Teletubby winked at him as it wriggled his fingers seductively at him through the peephole from the outside corridor.
Henri immediately pushed himself away from the peephole. "What the fuck was that?" He shouted, with a look of fear plastered across his face. Henri forced himself to look at the peephole one more time, and to his astonishment, there was no Wolter. No dogs. And the best was, no freaky Teletubby. Henri heaved a sigh of relief as he moved himself away from the peephole when he noticed a few pieces of red papers under the door and he picked it up.
"Woo-hoo… I've picked up that saucy bitch's key from Room 303. Nice. I thought I'd secretly go inside her apartment and sniffed at her panties, since she wasn't home and maybe return the key to the Super after I've made a duplicate. Yes, I'll do just that.
May 20."
Henri sweatdrop.
"Dammit! I lost the key even before I'd managed to use it. Oh god! I've got to find it before someone else does and stole all of her used panties. Okay, now calm down… where the fuck did I left it? Oh right, I've got that really big pain in my crouch area that day, like some menstrual cramp or something… I guess I must have dropped her key in room 302's bedroom, next to the bed.
p.s. Why am I referring to my bedroom as 'Room 302's bedroom'? Strange…
p.s.s. Hey, I just realized that men DO NOT have menstrual cramps… Or do they? Oh whatever.
May 22."
"YES! Elyne's key!" Henri cheered. He quickly ran back inside his bedroom and he found a key strung to weird keychain that resembled that of Wobbie the Wabbit's private part, on the floor next to his bed. Henri immediately picked it up. "Hmm… I wonder what's this pink-y stick-thing protruding out of the furry pubic area?" Henri thought, looking at the set of key in his hand.
(Moments later…)
Henri went zapping through the sickening portal hole and was back to the freaky world of abnormality. He soon arrived at the outside of that Elyne bitch's apartment door, when he heard a terrible scream from inside her apartment room.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Elyne screamed.
"Dammit! She's home." Henri said, turning away. "There goes my panties collection."
"HEELLLPPPP!" She screamed. "HELP ME!"
"Huh? What the hell?" Henri gasped, as he reached for the key to Room 303 and opened the door to the apartment.
"GAH!" Henri screamed, as he opened the door to Room 303. Inside the room was the little Wolter standing next to Elyne, who was pathetically sprawled on the floor, flat-faced, with both her legs wide opened, revealing the gross black moss between her legs.
SHE WAS NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR!
On her back were the numbers "20121" written in nose shit.
"Ewwww… Elyne, for goodness sake, shave your pubic area or something!" Henri groaned, feeling a sense of grossness in his stomach.
"H-help…" Elyne cried weakly. "I, I-I… I don't want no nose droppings…" She pleaded, as little Wolter was slowly trying to continue to feed her with those gross fillings from his nose. "NOOO… NOT MY MOUTH… NOT MY MOUTH! I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU IF YOU PUT THAT FUCKING SHIT IN MY MOUTH!" Elyne screamed at little Wolter.
Henri slowly walked towards them, half-covering his eyes from Elyne's grotesque unshaved pubic, and stopped only inches away from them before he managed to realize what was happening.
"Noooooo… I'll never be clean again…" Elyne cried.
"Hey, you! Yeah, you… the midget with the nose-digging obsession. I know who you are." Henri shouted.
Little Wolter ignore him and he continued to play around with his nose shit.
"Hey! Fuck, I'm talking to you, Wolter…" Henri screamed.
Little Wolter stopped and gave him a super-blur look.
"Will you just stop feeding her with those unhygienic stuffs already?" Henri continued.
It was then when Elyne fainted and the entire place slowly faded to nothing.
Henri woke up, to the familiar smell of stale pee, in his bedroom.
(Ambulance sound outside the apartment window.)
"Huh?" Henri dashed to the window just in time to see an ambulance driving away from the apartment carpark. "Elyne, please don't die… at least not before you pay me back all those milk you stole from me, dammit!" He thought.
And so, after changing his pants, Henri coolly walked into the living room where he managed to find a more stuffs stuck under his door step. Under his door was a piece of tattered note, and a weird looking tailsman with the super turn-off picture of a cross-dressing Wolter on it. Under the picture were the words, "SeaCucumber Tailsman".
Henri read at the note.
"Oh my god! I don't think I can protect my virginity any longer. He's truly crazy. The supreme Teletubby is fucking persistent and I don't think I can protect my sexy body any further. I think that Teletubby's finally learnt of a way to travel to the normal world. Dammit! I was so scared that he would make his way to the real world that I've decided to seal off both the holes in the bathroom and the storage room…"
"Eh? What the hell? There're TWO fucking holes?" Henri gasped. He then continued to read at the note.
"… yes, there's two fucking holes, if that's what you were thinking, you dumbass. Didn't I make myself clear? Anywho, I wondered if that Elyne bitch is home today? I mean, she must not know about what had happened to her missing panties. : X
July 13."
(Inside the bathroom…)
"What the fuck?" Henri shouted, as he stared at the sealed hole on the bathroom wall.
(Later…)
Henri had taken the four ridiculous placards from the storage box in the living room and together with the sick SeaCucumber Tailsman, he stuck all the cards on the wall in the storage room.
"What is the Magic word?" An eerie voice suddenly echoed out of nowhere.
"Huh? What magic word? And who the fuck are you?" Henri scowled, looking around the tiny storage room.
"Whatever… What is the Magic word?" The voice persisted.
"Mmm… O-open Sesame?" Henri guessed.
"That… is correct." The voice answered.
(Poof!)
And a hole appeared before him on the wall.
"Nice!" Henri said, sucking at his thumb.
(After zapping himself through the dirty hole…)
Henri opened his groggy-looking eyes and found himself lying on the cold tiles of the hospital. The place seemed to be an operation room or something.
(Slapping and wet squashing sound.)
"Eh?" Henri gushed, as he slowly sat upright and looked over to see two erotic silhouettes moving around from behind a nearby curtain. "Woo-hoo… sex scene… YAY! Free porn!"
One of the silhouettes suddenly stopped and the person slowly moved out from behind the curtain.
It was Wolter Salivaman.
"Hehehe…" Wolter giggled in a girly pitch.
"AHH!" Henri screamed. The thought of seeing the fruitcake having sex with anyone grossed him out.
"Wanna join in?" Wolter asked, in a somewhat fruity way.
"NO!" Henri replied, and he quickly ran out through the door.
"Who was it, Wolter?" The other person asked, from behind the curtain.
"Henri." Wolter replied.
"Henri?" The person quickly stepped out from behind the curtain. It was Tinky Winky. "Why didn't you say so? So, where the fuck is that cutie pie of mine?" The purple Teletubby asked, looking around the room.
"He's gone."
"He WHAT?" Tinky Winky shouted. "What the hell did you do? Please don't tell me you showed him your naked butt, Wolter…" The purple Teletubby groaned.
"What? No… I only asked him if he wanna join us in making some pie. I'm tired of kneading the stupid dough all by myself." Wolter complained.
"Are you complaining that I'm not helping?" Tinky Winky asked. "For your information, you WERE the one who wanted to make this silly pie in the first place, not me."
"I, I-I…" Wolter hesitated. "But it was you who said you were hungry." He thought.
"Yes?" Tinky Winky gave him a threatening look, as he placed his chubby finger on his neck and sliding it across from ear to ear, in a suicidal manner.
"I-I, I… uh, I…" Wolter tried to reason with Tinky Winky, but stopped when he saw the fiery glare coming from the purple creature. "...uh, nothing." Wolter muttered.
Henri found himself running into the doctor's lounge. As he slowly walked around the vicinity, he noticed some photo-slides being pasted on the board.
There were photographs of Elyne with nose shit all over her back, inside her mouth, around her eyes, under her armpits, and all over her ears.
"Oh gross!" Henri thought.
Henri then slowly felt around her photographs on the board with his hand, when his fingers suddenly stopped at a particular piece showing her voluptuous busts. "Mmmm… tits!" Henri moaned.
(Moments later…)
Henri had arrived at the second level of the hospital. He quickly searched through some of the many rooms, where he managed to find some candies, some paper clips, a pen, more expired Health Drinks, a hospital key, and a white Holy Torch Light.
He happily stashed away the items before he walked down the corridor, to the next door, when he realized that the door was locked.
"What the fuck?" He exclaimed, as he furiously turned at the knob. "DANG!"
Suddenly, he remembered. The hospital key. Henri recalled finding a hospital key in one of the rooms, which he had explored earlier. He quickly pulled it out from his pocket and used it on the door.
The door opened. Henri saw Elyne, again, sprawled on the bed in a very turn-off position.
"Elyne!" Henri called out, as he stepped inside the room.
"Huh? Wha-?" Elyne yawned, as she turned over, exposing the disgusting chunk of black moss between her opened legs.
"GAH!" Henri gasped in shock, and he puked his guts out. "SHAVE, BITCH! SHAVE!"
Elyne rubbed at her eyes and looked at him. "W-who are you?"
But before Henri's even got the chance to open his mouth, Elyne suddenly went into a crazy fit and screamed.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Elyne screamed hysterically.
"Stop it!" Henri commanded.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She continued.
"Elyne! Elyne! Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Henri said, as he sternly reached forward to grab at her.
Elyne suddenly stopped screaming and the two of them immediately looked down.
Henri had had his hands rested on Elyne's boobs.
(Five minutes later...)
"RAAPPPEEEEEEEE!" She screamed.
"GAH!" Henri gasped, and let go of his hands.
(SLAP!)
Henri managed to somehow calm her down by giving her a slap across her face.
"W-why'd you hit me?" She sobbed, rubbing at her aching cheek.
"To shut your fucking mouth up, bitch!" Henri growled.
Elyne then took a closer look at the person before her. "Y-you… you're Henri from next door. What are you doing here?"
"I-I, I don't know… I don't know where to start… I mean, it's a long story and you don't look that smart enough to understand anything even if I were to explain everything to you."
Elyne sweatdrop.
"Oh yeah, try me!" Elyne challenged. "Jackass."
"Alright… fine. There was this strange hole in my apartment that I climbed through and…" Henri said.
"Wahahahahahaha..." Elyne laughed.
"What?"
"A hole in the apartment... hahahahaha." Elyne continued laughing. "I've got a hole, can you climb in too?" She joked, pointing to her vagina.
Henri sweatdrop.
"Anyway, as I was saying, besides the hole, there's this weird abnormal world… a-and the people that I had encountered all died…"
"You are just bad luck, if you'd ask me…" She interrupted, squirming away from him. "YOU JINX!"
Henri sweatdrop.
"I'm not a jinx, you fucking moron. Anyway, I can't help but think that there's something evil lurking around this place." Henri said.
"What are you talking about? Oh, like… am I supposed to believe you? HA!" She said, rolling her eyes over sarcastically.
"But its true… ITS TRRUUUEEEE!" Henri roared, as he pulled at his hair.
"A-alright, Henri… stop that… you are scaring me."
"So, you believe me?" He asked, looking at her with his cute bambi eyes.
"Well, not really…" She replied. "... and stop acting cute, you idiot!"
"Look, you saucy bitch. Or whore. Or slut. Or whatever they call you..." Henri said. "... I know what I saw and I'm telling you, I saw this fucking midget in your apartment with you when you were screaming for help."
"Oh… wait. I-I, I… I remembered now."
"Finally!" Henri said.
"But, it was a kid… not a midget." Elyne corrected him.
"No, that's a fucking adult… well, maybe only a miniature of it… you see, that midget you saw earlier was a failed clone experiment product and… yada… yada… yada…" Henri blabbered. "You understand what I'm saying?"
Elyne shook her head.
"What's all this got to do with me anyway? I mean, I was all dressed up, ready to go to that strip joint down the street and-" She stopped.
Henri was staring at her with his mouth wide open.
"I said strip joint, didn't I?" She asked, giggling in embarrassment.
Henri nodded.
"Oh fuck!" She shouted. "I-I, I… I meant my friend's party."
Henri was still staring at her.
"Whatever… anyway, that stupid kid… boy… or midget doodled on my back with his disgusting nose shit. The smell of his shit was so bad… I guess that's why I fainted." She explained. "I-I, I'm sorry for not believing you just now. Anyway, this place… what is it?" She asked, looking around.
"I don't know… But I do know that if you die here, then you die in the real world too…" Henri replied.
"HA-HA! That's REAL funny, Henri… seriously, what the hell is this place? She asked, again.
Henri sweatdrop.
"Dammit! How dumb can this fucking slut be?" He thought. "Elyne, I'm dead serious about this. Do you see me laugh?" Henri asked.
"Alright… fine. I believe you. So, how do we get the fuck out of this shit place?" She asked.
"Well, there's (1) the hole, (2) the hole, and (3) the hole… which one would you choose?"
Elyne sweatdrop.
Henri was looking at her for an answer.
"Will you just stop looking at me like that?" She shouted.
Henri gave her a cheesy smile.
"Argh! Fine… I choose the hole. Now, just take me with you already." She groaned, rolling her eyes over.
"Wise choice!" Henri beamed, as he pulled her up from the bed.
DISCLAIMER: Do we really have to put up this disclaimer thing-y every chapter? It seemed a little stupid though. But, nonetheless, I don't wanna be sued or anything… so, just a little word on my claim to no ownership to Silent Hill and its series, merchandise, or whatever. I also do not own the Teletubbies.
A/N: Alright, chapter 11 is up and running, folks. Would like to thank everyone for their time and effort to read through my previous chapters and I hope that you people would still give your utmost support to my works. Reviews, reviews, and more reviews. TTFN.