Title: What If?

Email address: T for a few bad words

Pairing: Neil/Todd

Spoilers: Can you really not have any spoilers when it's for a movie? And if you haven't seen the movie are you going to be reading the fan fiction?

Word Count: 2,775

Warning: same as always. about 1/3 script with my own spin to it, other than that? A few cuss words.

Disclaimer: I do not own DPS, I make no money off of this.

//\

"You're getting back a little late for a Thursday night Mr. Perry."

"Yes sir, play rehearsal ran a little late tonight, I'll be sure to be back earlier next time."

Mr. Smith, the annual sponsor, nodded. "See that you do."

Neil gave an answering nod and continued down the path, reading over his play notes. When he glanced up again he noticed a familiar form on the bridge looking isolated and lonely.

"Todd?" Neil called, surprise laced through his voice. "Hey."

"Hey."

"What's going on? Why are you out so late?" Neil asked, leaning back against the railing, facing the other boy.

"Nothing… It's…" Todd paused, momentarily indecisive. Shrugging, he continued. "Today's my birthday." He took a deep breath and turned to Neil. "I did it you know. I finally told him - told him th-that I'm not Jeffery." Todd said, waving his hand in the air, gesturing nervously.

"That's fantastic Todd!" Neil grinned and caught Todd's hand, which on multiple occasions had narrowly missed his nose.

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose it is." Todd returned his smile shyly.

"So," Neil scooted closer, invading Todd's personal space and gently nudged Todd with his elbow. "What'd he say?"

Todd shifted away from the probing elbow, secretly excited with the physical contact. "N-Nothing. My father told me we'd discuss it f-further when I, well when I get home this summer. Meaning he'll ignore…everything I said and continue to-to tell me what I'm going to be doing with my future, like I am too…young - or can't be trusted - to make my…my own decisions. L-like I'm some-some invalid."

"I'm sure he doesn't believe that. He'll listen to you." Neil said, trying to calm down his friend who was rapidly working himself up.

Todd just shook his head in response, a sigh slipping from him as his shoulders slumped.

Neil wasn't sure what to say; hell, he couldn't even say as much to his own father. Everything sounded hollow even in his mind. Not being able to from words of comfort, he placed a comforting hand on Todd's back, trying to convey reassurance to his friend that everything would work out.

Todd sighed and leaned back.

There was a long silence, just the two of them perfectly relaxed in each others presence. "So" Neil paused. "Today's your birthday. Happy birthday."

Todd gave a wry smile. "Thanks."

"What'd you get?" Neil asked, bumping his shoulder against Todd's.

Todd poked something next to him. "My parents gave me this."

Neil looked down and spotted a desk set, still covered in it's plastic wrapping. "Isn't this the same desk set-" He trailed off.

"Yeah. Yeah they gave me the same thing as last year."

"Oh."

"Oh." Todd repeated, his tone wry.

Neil let out a small chuckle. "Maybe they thought you needed another one."

"Maybe they weren't thinking about anything at all." Todd snapped, and then bit the inside of his cheek, regretting his outburst. "You know, the - the funny thing about this is I, I didn't even like it the first time around."

Neil forced a smile on his face and turned fully towards Todd. "Todd, I think you're underestimating the value of this desk set," he said standing and grabbing the desk set off of the ground, carefully studying the package.

"I mean, who would want a football or a baseball, or-"

"Or a car."

Neil looked pointedly at Todd, smiling. "Or a car, if they could have a desk set as - well, as wonderful as this one?" Neil smiled at Todd, and further examined the desk set. "I mean, if - - if I were ever going to buy a desk set - twice, I would probably buy this one. Both times. In fact, its, - its shape is - well, it's rather aerodynamic, isn't it? I can feel it. This desk set wants to fly." Neil tossed the desk set lightly in the air. Todd slowly stood up and Neil handed him the desk set.

"Todd? The world's first unmanned flying desk set." Neil stepped to the side and gestured grandly to all the land yet to be charted by desk sets.

Todd grinned and hurled the desktop over the railing, his mouth forming a perfect 'o' as all the pieces tumbled downwards.

"Oh, my!"

Neil grinned and patted Todd on the back. "Well, I wouldn't worry. You'll get another one next year."

They stood in companionable silence, looking over the railing, for sometime before Todd's soft voice broke it. "You know, Balincrest was nothing like Welton."

Neil Turned to face his friend. "Really? How so?"

Todd shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose at Balincrest everything was less formal, but everyone seemed tense. Everything is more formal here, but everyone seems...more at ease. Relaxed."

Neil smiled. "Maybe you're just more relaxed so you perceive everyone else as more relaxed."

The shorter boy hunched his shoulders and shrugged, slightly embarrassed.

"I've noticed that you're only stuttering when you get really worked up now. You haven't stuttered once since you stopped talking about your father."

Todd gave a weak smile, turning towards Neil. "I guess I'm just more c-confident around you." He ducked his head embarrassed.

Neil took a deep breath. He had been wanting to ask his roommate something all week and he had finally gotten the resolve to do it. Opening his mouth, he blurted out, "Todd?" and then winced at how rushed the name came out.

Todd's head snapped up, embarrassed that he had been caught mulling over their previous conversation. Neil paused, causing Todd to momentarily forget what he had been thinking about and give his normally confidant roommate his full attention.

After a moment Neil continued. "What did it taste like?"

Slightly shocked, and more than slightly embarrassed, Todd quickly schooled his expression, pretending that he didn't know what Neil was talking about. Truthfully, Neil had been randomly asking him questions like this since Todd had let it slip that he had kissed a guy.

"You know. Your kiss. With that guy at Balincrest."

"Well" Todd paused, thinking back to his time at Balincrest, trying to remember that clumsy, late-night kiss. "It tasted like - like cigarettes. He probably smoked a pack a day."

Neil made a disgusted face, the thought of kissing anyone who smoked that much likened him to licking an ashtray. Todd chuckled. "It wasn't that bad, honest. Besides, the cigarette taste…well it was more of an after taste. Mostly it was just wet. Wet and messy." Todd made a face. "Actually it was really messy."

Neil chuckled and slid down to sit on the cold stone walkway, Todd followed next to him. Just realizing something, Neil looked startled towards Todd. "Wait, wet? That means you - he - it was…."

Todd blushed. "Yeah."

"Wow."

"You're not disgusted?" Todd asked, his eyes widening.

"Honestly?" Neil sounded almost ponderous. At Todd's nod he continued. "No. Not at all."

It was at that point, sitting on the freezing cold stone pathway, talking about kissing another boy (and not getting beat up for it) that Todd realized that he was entirely at ease. Sure he was still filled with his normal self depreciation, but sitting here, beside Neil, he felt that he could say anything that he wanted to - anything that came to his mind - and not be ridiculed for it. Not be laughed at. And possibly taken serious, maybe even respected. It was in that moment that Todd realized that - that he had a crush on Neil Perry.

The shock of this revelation caused Todd to blurt out, "W-why do you keep asking me all of these questions about Michael?"

Neil froze, then shrugged after recovering. "I'm not sure. You know me, curious about everything." Neil stands and takes a few steps towards the building muttering under his breath, "Yeah, I guess I'm just curious." 'but curiosity only killed the cat, this could get me kicked out of Welton then my father would kill me.' Looking over his shoulder at Todd he added louder, "C'mon, lets go inside. It's getting cold out here." Just then a cold gust of wind crept through his jacket, making him shiver to help prove his point.

Todd cocked his head to the side, trying to study Neil. But the clouds overhead covered the moon, making it impossible to make out any of the other boy's features. Not being able to tell anything, he merely nodded. "Yeah, it is pretty cold."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There seems to be some connection between realizing that you have a crush on your roommate, your very male roommate, and insomnia. It was around one in the morning and Todd still couldn't fall asleep. Though, looking over at Neil, it didn't seem as if his friend were fairing any better. He had fallen asleep - exhausted - almost as soon as he finished his homework, but he had yet to stop tossing and turning. Mumbling incoherently about evil Athenians in the wrong garb and loose fairy queens who sleep with asses.

Resigned to a sleepless night, Todd got out of bed retrieving his robe and slippers. On impulse he grabbed the pack of cigarettes that he and Neil had stashed in a hollowed copy of Moby Dick - which Todd had balked at the first time Neil showed it to him. Desecration of books and all that.

Now, Todd Anderson, not being the most adventurous at heart (he thought he was rebelling quite a bit just being out of his room after curfew) decided that the best place to go at this time of night would be the bathroom. That way, if he got caught out of bed, he could just say he needed to use the facilities. Also, the bathroom had a window that could be pried open just enough to let the musky smell of cigarette smoke escape.

Not paying enough attention to his surroundings, Todd was shocked when he ended up in the bathroom and was met with the sight of Charlie sitting precariously on the window ledge. He obviously had the same idea as Todd, because he had a cigarette dangling from his fingers, the cherry slowly burning away at the thin paper.

"What are you doing?" Todd whispered sternly. "Hager could come in here at any time and catch you! I could have been Hager."

"Relax, no one's out patrolling at this time of night, and you make too much noise to be Hager"

Todd blushed and fumbled for his pack of cigarettes, only to realize that he had forgotten something to light them with.

Charlie rolled his eyes and light a match, motioning to Todd to come closer and use it. "So, what brings you out at this time of night? I would have thought that you would be fast asleep in your bed by now."

Todd paused, cigarette halfway to his lips. "I couldn't sleep." he said quietly and then finally took a drag.

"What's got you in a bunch so that you can't sleep?"

"Neil." Charlie raised an eyebrow and Todd hurried to continue. "H-He gets back so late from the play and then if he didn't finish his homework at the theatre he has to finish it after dinner. If-If he's made it back in time for dinner that is. And he doesn't sleep that well. I can always hear him tossing and turning all night." he finished quietly.

A brief emotion flashed over Charlie's face but just as quickly, he schooled it into his infamous smirk "I wouldn't worry about Neil. He's a big boy. He knew what he was getting into the minute he forged the letter from his father." Charlie pinched the cherry off of his cigarette and pocketed the butt. "I've gotta get back before Cameron wakes up and finks." He turned and walked away.

Todd sighed quietly after Charlie had left, stubbing out his cigarette. "Yeah, but the problem is that I don't think that he did know."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Friday night study hall rarely had anything to do with studying. It tended to be a time when everyone got together to plan what they were going to do on the weekend, books propped open, giving the false security of fooling the teacher unlucky enough to be chosen that day to oversee the scheming teens.

Neil slid on to the bench next to Todd, playfully flicking the other boy's ear for attention and leaning over, he whispered in his ear, "You're coming to the meeting tonight, right?"

Todd shook his head, not looking up from the book that he's reading.

Neil let out an exasperated sound. "What? Why not?"

"I have some homework that I have to get done."

"Come on Todd, can't you do it over the weekend?"

Todd shook his head again

"Damn it Todd!" Neil said a little too loudly, quickly glancing at the teacher to make sure he hadn't heard. In a more hushed voice he said, "Damn it Todd, you blew us off earlier for homework, and now you're doing it again."

"I'm-I'm not"

"Bullshit." Neil exploded, then slightly apologetic he softly spoke. "Todd…"

Todd finally looked up at Neil. "I'll come next week, I swear," he said quietly, looking around slightly flushed, noticing that they had drawn the attention of the other occupants of their table. Lowering his voice to a whisper he added, "I just really n-need to get this work done, I've kinda gotten ba-backed up. I'm n-not trying to avoid the m-meetings, or you. I swear Neil." Todd crossed his fingers, hoping that Neil couldn't seen though his lie.

Neil smiled standing, "Alright, I'll hold you to that promise, meus parum tetsudo." And he went back to the table he was at earlier.

Todd blushed and quickly gathered his books, scurrying away leaving Meeks, who had overheard their conversation, sitting there and mouthing confusedly 'My little turtle?' Charlie merely smirked, knocking his shoulder into a smiling Knox, while Pitts chuckled and shook his head at a confused Cameron.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was less than an hour later when Knox headed back to his room, practically throbbing with excitement, Charlie trailing behind him, a frown marring his face. It took nearly twenty minutes of Knox throwing around what sparse clothing he had to finally pick out a dull brown suit and a slightly rumpled dress shirt, which he wouldn't stop trying to ineffectively smooth out. Then at least another ten for him to fidget with his hair, doing more harm than good, before deciding that he would have to venture into the communal bathroom to fix it. Where Charlie also followed him. With a pack of cigarettes.

Knox stood in front of the mirror, wetting his comb in hopes of taming his unruly hair when he caught a glimpse of Charlie's reflection in the mirror. He was sitting at his usual place on the window - smoking. And then Knox caught a whiff of the cigarettes' noxious smoke. Coughing, he waved the smoke away.

"Damn it Charlie, could you not smoke that right now!? I don't want Chris to smell your smoke on me."

Charlie snorted, taking a particularly long drag, inhaling the smoke into his lungs and letting it sit before he let it plume back out of his mouth. "Like no one at the party is going to be smoking?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Knox scowled and looked away, not liking the quivering feeling that suddenly appeared in his stomach. "Yeah, well, just cut it out alright?"

Charlie looked hard a Knox for a moment before holding his hands up in a mock placating gesture, hopping down from his perch to run the cigarette under the water in the sink. Soggy butt sill dangling from his fingers, he leaned against the sink Knox was using.

"You know that you're probably not going to even see Chris, let alone talk to her."

"She invited me, I don't see why she wouldn't talk to me." Knox replied absently.

"She invited you because you're a nice guy, probably thinks that you're lonely. She on the other hand has a boyfriend. She'll probably have his tongue stuck down her throat all night."

"Damn it Charlie!" Knox yelled shoving him away. "Will you just get out and let me get ready in peace?"

Hurt, Charlie flicked the butt into the toilet and strode out of the bathroom with a look on his face that Knox couldn't understand.

xxxxxxxxx

It seemed like it took an excruciatingly long time to arrive at the Danburry's house, longer than it took last time, but Knox finally made it. Now all he had to do was ring the door bell.

//\

AN: Alright, finally finished! I'm so sorry it took so long, but I had a lot going on. A two week trip to my mothers somehow turned into a 4 month trip. Flat tires, military briefings, scheduling movers, etc. Oh yeah and did I mention that I have to drive to California in four days? I hate driving, let alone driving across four states in three days. Anyways, if you care about that you can look on my LJ. I don't know when the next part will be coming out since I have my drive then unpacking and hopefully after that registering for college (finally!). So...who knows. I'll try really hard not to take as long this time. I started writing this chapter on October 7, 2006 and finally finished it on March 20, 2007. I don't know if 2,775 words are worth the wait (but I do think that this is my longest chapter ever, they tend to be short). Sorry again Please review!