Chapter 4
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May 23rd, 2555.
12:01 PM
"And I'm telling you, that the earthquake was caused by rabid iceworms."
"For the last time, it was caused by bigfoot."
"Bigfoot isn't even real, you retard."
"Oh, then who was it I was doing the nasty to in that porn mo-"
"TOO MUCH INFORMATION"
"Hey guys, I think they're up to something."
"What are they doing?"
"It looks like they're using a cat, 3 cups of gold, 67 pounds of sugar and virgin's blood to re-animate thier comannder."
"How would you know?"
"Don't ask."
John had mixed the formula into the human skull, and poured it onto the corpse.
"With this potion, he shall live again!" he screamed.
A blinding light radiated from the commander's body, and eventually faded.
The body did nothing. Whatt the hell did you expect a corpse to do?
John frowned.
"Perhaps the vigin's blood was from a guy that jerked off on a regular basis..." he said, scratching his head. He turned around and went off to seek the blood of Micheal Moore for a more pure virgin's blood.
Grug's eyes lit up.
"John! Look!" he shrilled. John turned around and gasped.
The corpse stood up, and dusted itself off.
"Any of you got any water?" said the commander.
Grug was so overjoyed at the commander's return that he picked him up and hugged him with the force of a train wreck. This proved too much for the commander's body, and he snapped in half.
Grug, with the realization of what he had done, had started to cry until the top half of the commander spoke.
"Why the hell did I not die from that?" he said, puzzled.
John walked over him, and smiled.
"Your a zombie, commander."
"The Resident Evil zombie? Or the Dawn Of The Dead Zombie?" he asked, still laying on the floor, bleeding blood by the gallons.
"The Dawn Of The Dead Type."
"New Dawn Of The Dead or The old Dawn Of The Dead?"
"New one"
"Sweeeeeet."
May 23rd, 2555.
12:04 PM
"Oh great, now their commander is a zombie."
"Resident Evil type or Dawn Of The Dead type?"
"Dawn of The Dead."
"New one or old one?"
"New one."
"Crap."
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End chapter 4