oh and by the way
I mean no offense to any real person I refer to )
Continuing!
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Back In Rabanastre...
"OH MY GOD!"
Vaan looked up worriedly turning his head repeatedly
"What's going on Penelo??" he asked
"MY ASS GREW!" she exclaimed
'God knows she needed one...' he thought. Penelo then proceeded to slap the back of his head
"What was that for!" he said
"Bitch, you don't think that about your master!" she yelled
"Wait, you can read my thoughts now?" he asked
"Nah, I'm just cool with the author now." she said
He looks at me
"Why did you pick HER side?!" he screamed
"Because she's the one with the vagina. Duuuuuuuuuuh!" Penelo and I then smile
"SEXIST!"
"Fine, I'll give you a new esper okay?" Vaan then glowed and actived the new space on the license board
"Wait a second. WHAT GOOD CAN WHITNEY HOUSTON DO??"
"That's Whitney during crack. That bitch is crazy." Penelo then paled a little bit. "Seriously, she's a match even for Aunt Jemima."
"YES! WHITNEY! SNIFF MY ENEMIES TO DEATH!"
and their next epic battle began...
Back with Ashe...
"Okay, which one would Balthier prefer Fran?" She asked holding two pairs of undies
'How about neither bitch?' Fran thought
"The one on the left" she ended up saying 'Knowing Balthier, if he sees this dumbass in them he might just go for Vaan instead.'
"YAY! I can finally get my knight in shining armor!" she said starry-eyed
'Must not shoot with arrow, must not shoot with arrow...' She kept repeating to herself
"Lady Ashe! We must make haste to Rabanastre! Vaan and Penelo are currently ready to decimate the entire town!"
Fran and Ashe both looked at him, but Fran asked
"With what?" She asked
He shuddered before he spoke his next word
"...Whitney" That was enough to send all three of them running to try and stop the psycho-bitch-esper
At this point the only one missing in action was Balthier, and of course he was in a shop buying marshmallows, another suit, and trying to flirt with a woman all at the same time. But then again, throwing bad pick-up line after bad-pick up line might not be considered flirting
3...
"Hey there, I do believe there's a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them."
2...
"Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus."
1...
"Ever touched a man's penis before?"
SLAP
"Ugh...maybe I should stop..."