I remember every word I spoke to her. Every kiss we shared. Every day we went through together. I also remember every day we didn't. Every kiss we didn't share. Every word I didn't speak to her. I can't help but wonder, as I drift off to sleep, how could a woman like her fall for a guy like me? She was gentle, giving, compassionate. I was cruel, misdirected, and wrong. Everything I did was wrong. But she was always by my side when we were together. So, I ask one more time, what did she see in me?

Was it because of all those things she loved me? She thought maybe she could change me. Make me well? I may never know. A day never went by in those five years when I didn't think of her. When I didn't wish her face to be real again.

So, when I saw her that one day. The day I came back, I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her how much I truly missed her. How much I loved her. But I knew, deep down, she had moved on. I was only a distant memory to her. But, did she ever think of me while I was gone, I wonder.

On that day, I did the only thing I could do. Run. I tried to run away. But, destiny kept me back. I remember cursing to the heavens that day. Asking why they did this. Why they made the bombs go off. Why did they make me come back to Jericho? Just to be held back and forced to stay there. But, now I know. I was meant to love her.

And I do, with all my heart. Sure, there was Heather. She was just a test of my faith. I do love her, of course. But never with as much compassion and fierceness as I love my Emily. Heather was a good friend. Like a sister I never had. Someone I needed to protect, not love with all my heart.

I remember when my lips had been just inches from hers. When our song played in the background as we danced in sweet harmony. How we were pulled away by destiny once again. And it was him. It was Roger. I loved Emily. I wanted her to be happy. That's why I let her love him.

I can't help but admit I was relieved when Jericho exiled Roger. They weren't going to kill him, but he wasn't going to stay. But, I looked back on Emily and my heart sank. She was so sad. So crushed.

But, the days we spent apart were soon caught up for when we saw more of each other than we did before. Emily needed a shoulder and I needed to see her pretty face. So, I became a comfort as her broken heart healed. In those days of being her shoulder, I wondered who was her shoulder when I left? Did she even need a shoulder to cry on? Maybe one day I'll ask her. But, only in the far future. If I make it that far.

She gave back to me what I gave to her. When my father died, she was there. She let me cry with her. She let our pain seep together creating one big despair that lasted only for a moment. And I cursed to the heavens above again. How much more pain could I take before finally giving in? Would it be today? Tomorrow? Next year?

My life is so full of complications. Full of wrong doings. Of lies and unsolved mysterious. But the one mystery that I solved long ago, was that I loved her. I wanted her to be mine. To know that every adventure that I took, she would be right by my side. She would be the support I would need. The last piece to the puzzle that was me.

I know I must be crazy to ever think that she may one day be mine. She deserves someone better than me. Someone who can take care of her. Someone she can trust. Someone mor elike her. More perfect. I will never be perfect. I will never be right. I know that I am locked away. Locked forever in my own heart. And the only one who can set me free would be her. As love sick as this sounds, she is the key to my heart.

Some people say you shouldn't try to dig up the past. Try to make history new again. But was our love ever gone? Had it ever ended? Or was it there the whole time, just pushed to the corner by my own stupidness?

I couldn't let her go. Let her slip away. As I gazed back at her I knew what I had to do. I kissed her.

So, as I wrap this love-sick letter up I have but only one last thing to say. It may be passed to Emily, it may not. But, I love Emily. I always will. Whether destiny pulls us apart, she will always control my thoughts and wander through my dreams. She will always consume my heart and soul.

I love you, Emily.