A/N: Ok, this is my first fanfic that I've ever done so please be gentle but opinionated with your reviews. After getting a couple e-mails, I'm now going to try and update this every Monday and Thursday instead of just once a week, but I stillmake no guarantees about my timeliness. Also, if you're not a fan of monologues, I appologize for this chapter.

Disclaimer: All the characters, places, objects, etc. from books 1-6 (and maybe some stuff before them) belong solely to J.K. Rowling.

The rest of the stuff in this story is out of my own mind and any resemblance to anything in book 7 when it comes out is purely coincidental.

Summery: With what lies ahead of Harry, he gathers as much help as he can to aide in his quest to defeat Voldemort. Will Harry succeed? Will love come into his life?

Chapter 5

Harry kept to himself in his bedroom, leaving for meals and to use the bathroom. The Dursley, as usual, acted as if he didn't exist. However, they were mow treading lightly around him since they knew that in a few weeks time when he turned seventeen, he would be allowed to use magic outside of his school. This idea frightened Harry's cousin Dudley the most, for Dudley still remembered the night that Harry first found out he was a wizard and Dudley had ended up with a pig's tail, courtesy of the groundskeeper of Harry's school.

Harry sat in his bed with a copy of one of the many Defense Against the Dark Arts books that he had amassed from his classes at Hogwarts and from others within the wizarding world. He was going through them all and working on memorizing the theory behind the spells. He couldn't believe he was actually following Delores Umbridge's idea of learning, but seeing as he was still underage and could not do magic outside of school, he really had no other choice. At least not until the end of the month.

A sudden knock on his door caused him to jump. He wondered who was actually acknowledging his presence in this house. Then he heard a familiar, yet timid voice on the other side of the door.

"Harry," came Aunt Petunia's voice, "Harry, do you mind if I come in for a minute?"

Of all things Harry had ever expected his aunt to do, asking politely for permission to enter his room to talk to him was nowhere near the top of that list.

"Um… sure," he replied wondering what she could possibly want, "come on in."

The door opened and in walked his aunt. Harry closed the book that he had been going through as she sat on the edge of his bed. She just sat there for a minute looking around the room, but not at Harry.

"Was there something you wanted?" Harry asked, still a little puzzled as to why his aunt was presently sitting on the edge of his bed.

She looked down at her feet, closed her eyes, and sighed deeply.

"Look… Harry," she started out as she opened her eyes and turned to him, "I realize that your life here has been, well, less than perfect."

'That's the understatement of the century,' Harry thought to himself.

"But you mustn't blame the last sixteen years on Vernon or Dudley," Harry gave her a quizzical yet irritated look. Not blame his uncle or cousin? Wasn't it his uncle who tore up his Hogwarts acceptance letters, and kept him in the cupboard under the stairs for nearly half his life. Wasn't it Dudley who had picked on Harry and turned him into a human punching bag. Why should he not blame any of the Dursleys for how rotten they treated him. His aunt gave him her reason.

"If anyone is to be blamed," she continued, "it's me Harry."

At this, Harry's expression went to shock as he sat there with his mouth open staring at his Aunt Petunia. Had he just heard her correctly?

"Believe it or not, Vernon was coerced into his hatred by me. And considering his sister, that was a rather simple feat. You see Harry, this all started with my relationship with your mother, my sister, Lily. From as early as I can remember, she and I were more than just sisters… we were best friends as well. We would spend hours playing together, telling each other stories, we even confided secrets in each other that we never did with anyone else. Our lives seemed to be the picture of perfection. At least it was until Lily's eleventh birthday. In the days leading up to it, strange things began to happen, things that no one could explain. Very much like the things that happened before your eleventh birthday Harry."

Harry's attention was now fully upon his aunt's words. This was the first time he had ever heard about either of his parents' lives before Hogwarts.

"Then on her eleventh birthday, when we were out in our parents' garden, we saw a large barn owl just sitting on the fence staring at us. But Lily quickly noticed that sticking out of its beak was an envelope. An envelope that was addressed not just to her, but to the very spot on which we were standing. We were both too timid to go anywhere near the bird, so we called for our mother who slowly walked towards the owl and when she was mere feet away, it dropped the envelope and appeared to bow to her. As it flew off, our mother picked up the envelope and looked at it skeptically. She asked if either of us had anything to do with this since of how the envelope was addressed. We told her how we were playing out there and then the owl just appeared out of nowhere.

"She turned the envelope over and noticed a wax seal that bore a crest with what appeared to be a lion, badger, raven, and snake surrounding a big 'H'. We watched her as she cautiously opened it and unfolded the parchment inside, and read it aloud to us. I still remember it to this day.

Dear Miss Evans,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been

accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Needless to say, none of us had heard of such a place in our lives, or of the person whose name was signed at the bottom of the letter, Minerva McGonagall. But something about that letter seemed to make sense to Lily and she pointed out that this could explain the strange occurrences over the last few days."

It was kind of weird for Harry to hear that unlike himself, his mother had been much more accepting of her letter from Hogwarts, even as a muggle-born witch. He listened intently as his aunt proceeded with her story.

"Strangely enough, my parents actually agreed with her point of view and my mother followed the instructions that had been enclosed with the letter and took Lily to a place called The Leaky Cauldron in London, and onto an even stranger place, Diagon Alley. When they returned, all Lily could talk about was this new world of magic that had existed for centuries. She showed off her robes, her books, and even her new pet owl, which she called Hewitt. The next few weeks were all focused around Lily and her start at Hogwarts. After that, we never saw much of each other at all. Even during holidays, she would be sending Hewitt out with letters to friends of hers from that school. It was as if I had never existed to her."

She sniffled and turned away from Harry. He swore that there was a tear falling down her face as she did so.

"The thing is Harry, as time went by, the jealousy grew inside me. It came to the point that all I wanted was revenge on my sister, to make her feel as I did. I had broken off all communication with her just before she finished at Hogwarts. I began to treat her as if she hadn't existed. Even when she sent me an invitation to her wedding with that Potter boy, I sent it back without any reason at all. I made sure that they wouldn't interfere with my life, so when I married Vernon, I got him to believe that they and their kind would cause problems if they were in our lives. Once Dudley was born, I thought that she was finally out of my life and she now knew what I had felt for all those years. Then, a year and a half later, I discovered you asleep on our doorstep with a note from the headmaster of Hogwarts. It was then that I learned about the fate of my sister and her husband. Yes, I did feel grief about the death of my childhood friend, but I had let my jealousy towards her get out of control. When I saw you, I felt as if she was trying to force herself back into my life. After reading the explanation in the note, I reluctantly took you in. When Vernon woke up, I informed him about you and told him about an idea I had to keep any and all information about the wizarding world away from you so that any possible magic in you might be squashed out.

"What I'm getting at Harry, is that I'm solely to blame for your treatment within this house. Not Dudley, not Vernon, not even Marge. Just me. And it's taken me this long to finally admit this, not out of fear from what you could do, but out of love for family. Deep down, beneath all that jealousy, is a crushed heart that was destroyed with the loss of my best friend. And now that I know that her killer is back, I want to see him stopped before I loose the last connection I have to my sister… You Harry."

At this, her emotions finally overtook her and she began to openly bawl with her face in her hands as she sat on Harry's bed. Still in shock over what his aunt had just admitted to him, Harry couldn't think of anything to say. But one thing that he did do was get up from where he was sitting on his bed and went over to his aunt, sat down, and put an arm around her. She embraced him and began sobbing into his shoulder.

"Harry, I-I'd fully understand if you never want to speak to me or my family ever again," Petunia said between sobs, "but if you can find it in your heart after you leave, please do keep in touch."

Harry pulled away from her and looked her directly in the eyes, "I appreciate you telling me this," he said knowing full well how he had acted to Ron and Hermione before they started their fifth year at Hogwarts, "and I do forgive you for what you did."

"You-you actually… f-forgive me?"

"Yeah, I do. You three are the only family I have ever known, and you are the only connection that I have to my mother at all."

"Thank you Harry."

"Now how does at least a Christmas card sound for staying touch?"

Petunia let out a slight laugh, "That would be alright, just don't send it by owl. I don't think Vernon will ever get used to that."

"Deal," and as he said this, he and his aunt gave each other a hug that was equally as strong as some of those he had received from Mrs. Weasley.

"I believe that would be for you," Petunia said looking over Harry's shoulder at the snowy white owl sitting on the ledge of the windowsill with a letter in her beak.

"Hedwig," Harry said when he turned around.

"I'll leave you to read your mail."

"Thank you Aunt Petunia," Harry said as he took the letter from his owl. He sat back down on the bed with the letter as Hedwig flew over to her cage for some water out of her dish. Harry opened the envelope, pulled out the parchment, and began to read.

Dear Harry,

I know that it's only been a few weeks since we last saw

each other, but I miss you so much right now. Love seems to be

all over the place here. Ron and Hermione are constantly

communicating with each other, rather obsessively if you ask me,

and the rest of the family is working on getting things ready for

the wedding. I don't know who's going through more stress,

mum or Bill.

Anyways, I wanted to write you to let you know that Ron,

Hermione, and I will be picking you up on your birthday. Despite

Ron's gripes, we'll be coming on the Knight Bus. I suggested we

apparate with Hermione, but she's too nervous to even think of

group apparitions (and I, for one, would like to remain in one

piece). Can't wait to see you on the 31st.

Love you always,

Ginny

xoxo

A smile spread across his face. It was a great feeling to know that Ginny was missing him just as much as her was missing her. He looked up to a calendar on the wall next to Hedwig's cage. The 31st, his birthday, was just a few days away, on Thursday. This Thursday, he would once again be with his friends and his love, Ginny. He got out a piece of parchment and quill and immediately wrote Ginny a reply.

Dear Ginny,

I've missed you just as much as you've missed me. I

can't wait to see you, Ron, and Hermione on Thursday.

Speaking apparating, can you make sure Ron is ready for our

test on the third. I don't think he could handle having to do

the test a third time. Hope your journey on the Knight Bus

goes as well as possible. Again, can't wait till I see you

on Thursday.

Love always,

Harry

Without asking, Hedwig was already next to Harry waiting for him to hand off the letter to her. When he finally did, Hedwig took one final gulp of water and flew out the window, headed towards The Burrow. He sighed as he lay down on his bed and dozed off, dreaming of his future with Ginny.

Please let me know what you think and leave me a little review. And I will try to update this Thursday.