Chapter 3

Don't Want To Lose This Time That's Come

a/n: Yeah, so here we go. You'll be kinda suprised to see how this one starts.

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2 months later

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Sadie walked up to the room, knocking softly on the door. Porchia looked over from her seat.

"Hi..."

"Hey..."Porchia muttered softly.

"How is he?"

"Barely hanging on...I honestly thought after he collapsed 2 months ago, that he would've been smarter than this..."

"He's beyond heart-broken, Sadie...he's been falling apart for a while. I think everyone just assumed that becuase after he got out of the hospital last time and wasn't falling apart all the time anymore, that he was okay...He hasn't been..."

"I know..."

"Have you heard his new song?"

"No..." Porchia got out of the seat she was in and walked over to the CD player. She pushed play, and Tommy's voice filled the room.

"You in the dark
You in the pain
You on the run
Living a hell
Living your ghost
Living your end
Never seem to get in the place that I belong
Dont wanna lose the time
Lose the time to come

Whatever you say its alright
Whatever you do its all good
Whatever you say its alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it
If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way

You in the sea
On a decline
Breaking the waves
Watching the lights go down
Letting the cables sleep

Whatever you say its alright
Whatever you do its all good
Whatever you say its alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it
If heaven is on the way
Well wrap the world around it
If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way

Im a stranger in this town
Im a stranger in this town

If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way
Im a stranger in this town
Im a stranger in this town..."

"Do you really think he still wants to be alive?"

"Well-"

"I know...Jen and Tom...but really, Sadie...Tommy cutting his wrists? That's not him..."

"No...you're right. It's not..." She looked down at the ground. "What do we do?"

"Stage an intervention or something...He's not okay...He needs help. And he needs it fast..."

"But...I don't know...What about the kids?"

"Can't you and Liam take them? Really Sadie, what matters more!?"

"I know, I know!" Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her brother-in-law in the bed.

"He looks so helpless though...and we all know he's lost lots of weight."

"Which is why he needs help, Sadie! The doctor said that he'll be comatose if he doesn't get his weight back up...He maybe making us all think that he cares about everyone and everything, but all he cares about anymore is getting to see Jude again...He's dying with out her...I believe he meant it when he said it..."

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"I'm dying without 'er, Porchia...And not a single moment goes by that I don't wonder if she's up there thinkin' about me...or if she misses us..." Tommy spoke softly, using his hands as he spoke. (You know, cuz Ally and Tim are always (as people put it) "talking w/ their hands")

"Well, then you've gotta fight it, Tom."

"I've tried Porchia! You don't get how HARD I'm trying to fight it! But I can't do this with out her! I'm falling apart inside...And all I care about anymore is being able to see her again...I'm not surviving without her!!!"

"Then where are we?" She looked up at him...

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"I'm sorry, Porchia...I know you still care for Tom..."

"No, no! Come on Sadie! It's not even like that, and you know it!!! I need Tommy to be okay for his kids. For himself! For his job! Everyone needs him to be okay! We all know that we're all pretending that the bandaids over our hearts doesn't need stitches, but we all know it does, because the wound of Jude's death is far too fresh, and it ripped a gaping whole right through everyone."

Sadie nodded. She walked over and grabbed Tommys left hand, turning his arm over. She ran her fingers across the white gauge (That's how you spell it!!!) (Pronounciation: Gauze) that covered his wrists. There was a line of blood where he'd cut his wrist, and felt more tears fill here eyes.

"I don't know if it'll be okay if he dies, Porchia..."


"I know..." She walked around by Sadie and wrapped her arms around her friend, placing her chin on Sadie's shoulder. "But maybe...he needs to leave town...Maybe he needs to escape everything for a few months...His wounds go a lot deeper than everyone elses, you know that..."

"Yeah..." There was a brief moment of silence.

"On a lighter note...How're you and Liam?"

"Uh...we're calling the wedding off...We both decided that we're not ready for marraige, and after everything that Tom and I have done in the last 3 weeks, it just wouldn't be fair to do that to Liam..."

"Yeah..."

"Then...what are we gonna do with the twins?"

"Uh...if you and Liam can't take them, then D and I will...it'll be no problem..."

"Okay..." A doctor enterred the room.

"We need to change his bandages..."

"Should we go?"

"No, you can stay...it'll only take a few moments..."

"Okay..."

Sadie and Porchia stepped aside, and watched as the doctor unwrapped Tommy's left wrist carefully.

"He cut his left wrist much deeper than his right...he may have killed some nerve endings..."

"Okay..." Sadie and Porchia spoke softly. The doctor motioned for Sadie to come over. He handed her a glove, and she slipped it on.

"Hold his wrist exactly like this. I need to get more sterilizer." Sadie nodded and held Tommy's wrist in her hand as the doctor walked over to one of the various cabinettes and pulled something out. He walked back over and smiled at Sadie as he uncapped the tube he was holding. "I'm Deryck Shephard, by the way...Tom's doctor, as you might have guessed."

Sadie smiled, lifting her free hand to shake.

"Sadie Harrison...Tom's sister-in-law."

"Oh...and where's the wife?"

"She, ah, she-"

"She was killed, a few months back..." Deryck nodded, immeadietelly understanding the situation. Sadie looked down at Tommy's pale wrist, and threw her free hand over her mouth. It was cut so deep that you could see where the blade had stopped a fourth of the way into his wrist.

"I was thinking the same thing when he was brought into me..."

"Do you think he'll ever be okay?" Sadie said, looking up at him.

"I don't know. If you're talking emotionally, he's got to allow himself to heal both physically and emotionally...There's now way to get past it then spending time with not only the people around you, but also alone...Has he been spending a lot of time alone?"

"Uh, actually someone's been around him 24/7 for the last 2 months..."

"He needs time alone...Being around people isn't letting him feel her with him. he needs to be alone so that he can feel her with him."

"So he needs to get away?"

"That'd probably be best for him...I honestly don't think that he wanted to die."

"I could beg to differ." Porchia chimed in.

"Really?" Deryck turned around. "And why's that?"

"He's said on several occasions that all he wants is to be with Jude again...That he still loves her... That he's not okay..."

"No offence, but of course he does. And of course he's not. His wounds are still too fresh. He won't be okay for a long, long time, if ever. You said he has kids? He may still be harboring one hell of a broken heart when they go off to college. Get married. Have kids...It's gonna take as long as he feels it needs to...He may never fall in love again..."

"Wow, Deryck, I thought you were a doctor, not a psychiatrist." A slender female dressed in blue scrubs walked in.

"Hello, Meredith..." He looked up at the woman and smiled. She walked over to Tommy's right side and slowly began removing his arm from it's sling. Afterwards, Deryck walked around and helped her to straighten it. Sadie and Porchia gasped once again, this time at the bruising and scaring on his arm from the 4 gunshots it had taken 2 months earlier. "Mer, would you like to tell Ms. Mills and Ms. Harrison approximately how long it will take Mr. Quincy's arm to heal?"

"The cuts on the wrists should heal within a month. The gunshot wounds will take about another month to heal and close, and it'll take another 8 to 12 months for his arm to be fully healed...He'll be in a sling for atleast another year to year and a half."

"Wow..."

"Might I ask who you are?" Sadie said, motioning to Meredith.

"I'm Deryck's girlfriend..." She smiled at him as he finished removing the gauge from Tommy's right wrist. He cleaned it off and then put ointment on it before grabbing a fresh roll of gauge. When Tommy's arm was wrapped again, he and Meredith slipped it back into the sling carefully and then threw away the used gauge and bandaging.

"Thank you..." Sadie smiled as Meredith and Deryck walked out.

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Tommy opened his eyes and looked around.

"Where am I?"

"Tom, thank God..." Porchia walked over to him from the table he'd been sitting at, reading a magazine.

"Where am I?"

"In the hospital, dumbass. Wanna explain why you cut your wrists?" He looked down, bewildered, and saw that both of his wrists were wrapped in white gauge.

"Well, what do you know. I did cut my wrists." He said sarcastically.

"You're getting help, Tom."

"I'm fi-"

"No you're not! And don't try to deny it!!! Gosh Tom! What about TJ and Jen!? They need you, you know!!!!"

"I NEED JUDE!"

"Well she's not here anymore!!!"

"I-"

"No!" They were both quiet for a moment, and then Porchia spoke. "Darius and I have arranged for you to go to Montreal for 6 weeks. He, I, and Sadie will take care of the twins."

"Por-"

"No, Tom! You NEED to get out of town. For the last 2 months, people have been around you every waking minute of every hour. You haven't had proper time to feel Jude with you...and that's not fair to you, because the rest of us had. Okay?"

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

"Okay..."

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"Where am I?"

"Ms. Maestro...It's good to see you awake for a change!" Deryck walked into another patient's room and smiled.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Dr. Deryck Shephard. I've been taking care of you for the last two months...Do you remember anything?"

"No...Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital...You've been comatose for 2 months..."

"And what's my name?"

"Elixe Maestro..."

"What happened to me?"

"You were shot it the back...No one expected you to survive..."

"Wow..." Tears filled the young woman's eyes. "How old am I?"

"You'll be 20 on the 17th of December." She nodded...

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Tommy signed several last release forms and then handed them to the nurse with a small smile.

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Elixe signed several papers and then smiled as Deryck approached her.

"Thank you...for everything..."

"Just doing my job..." He smiled and shook her hand before walking away. Meredith approached her with a set of crutches...

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"Tom!"

He looked back to see Dr. Shephard approaching him.

"Hi..."

"You gettin' out of town like I recommended?"

"Yeah...I'm going up to Montreal for 6 weeks...bosses' orders..." He smiled slightly.

"Well, try not to have too much fun..." They both laughed softly. For the first time in 2 months, Tommy let out a small, but genuine smile.

"I'll try." He rolled his eyes jokingly, and then shook Deryck's hand before seeing Liam approach him.

"Hey, man..."

"Hey...ready to go?"


"Yeah..." Tommy grabbed his leather jacket and followed Liam towards the west exit of the hospital.

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Elixe began making her way to the east exit of the hospital.

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Tommy stopped after passing a blond on crutches and turned back, looking at her. Her hair was a bit longer than Jude's had been right before...well, ya know. She was a bit thinner too. He watched her turn her head to the side at the mention of her name...Elixe... She was definitely beautiful...

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Elixe stopped after passing a dark-haired male. Meredith had called her name. She felt eyes boring into her back and couldn't help but smile. She knew it was the male that she'd just passed.

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Tommy smiled, looking back at the blond one last time. She sure was beautiful...But right now he needed to heal...

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Elixe looked back at Tommy one last time and saw him smiling slightly. She could see pain written on his face. The pain of someone deeply loved, just lost. She felt somewhere inside of her that she knew this man, and that at some point in her life, she'd been one to be able to read someone who liked like him, just by the look on his face.

Her heart told her to go to him and introduce herself...

But her head said that he was still deeply pained, and she'd only hurt herself.

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Tommy smiled to himself.

"Tom?" He looked up to see Liam about 2 feet in front of him.

"Huh?"

"You coming?"

"Uh, yeah..."

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Elixe watched as Tommy looked down at the ground, still smiling, and must have thought something that was for future planning. A second after that, he advanced again walking towards the friend who'd been walking next to him only moments later.

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Tommy looked at the ground 'I'll look 'er up when I get back...' He thought to himself. He walked towards Liam.

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Tommy and Elixe walked to their rides home, and just beforet they opened the doors to their rides, they spoke softly, smiling.

"Thank the lord for small favours..."

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a/n:Okay, so how pissed at me are you!? I plan to do that several times in this story with Tommy and Jude (And for those of you who don't remember, Jude came back in MAHR as a girl named Elixe (Elise), and that's who she believed she had been for the past 15 years. So yeah...) Anyway, I hoped you liked the update...I'll try and get another up tomorrow...i dunno