"Okay, guys," Luffy declared, "let's have a toast to Nami, the girl I'm gonna marry-" Luffy was suddenly cut off by Roger, who, in a fit of hare-raising acrobatics, dived clear across the room and tackled him.
"Jumping jeepers, that was close!" Roger cried, "You almost saw your bride!"
"What's wrong with that?" Luffy asked on the floor.
"It's bad luck!" Roger explained.
Luffy raised his eyebrow. If looking at Nami was bad luck, he couldn't wait for some good luck!
"We need to get you to your dressing, pronto!" Roger yelled, dragging Luffy to his feet, taking care to cover his eyes. "Hey Meg!"
Meg looked up from the wall she was leaning up against.
"You make sure Nami doesn't see Luffy, okay?" Roger asked, before making a desperate attempt to drag Luffy away, a task made difficult by the groom's rubber body.
"C'mon," Meg said, taking Nami by the arm, "Let's hit the pool."
Meg and Nami went in the other direction of Luffy and Roger. Meg, a little tipsy(or drowsy) from her earlier drink, had to be steadied by Nami.
Pretty soon the room was devoid of people, except for Vlad and Mihoshi.
"Aren't weddings great, Mr. Masters?" Mihoshi asked, "I'm glad Nami invited us."
"Great? Glad?" Vlad looked at her in annoyance. "This is a disaster! Nami leaving the stage means the end of Vladdy's Follies! She's the only thing that's kept the audience from demanding their money back!" Vlad's face grew a look of determination. "I have to stop this wedding, no matter what!"
"Mr. Masters," Mihoshi cut in, "You don't need Nami, you got a new leading lady- me!"
Vlad looked at her as Mihoshi posed and smiled cutely. "I have to stop this wedding, no matter what!" He declared.
"Mr. Masters!" Mihoshi protested, "I'm too good to be just a chorus girl, just give me a shot!"
Vlad was about to do just that(but good) when the Zako Chefs brought two trays of snacks to his attention.
"Appetizers, zako?" the first one asked.
"No thanks," Vlad declined.
"I'll have one!" Mihoshi declared. She began to pop the little edibles into her mouth one by one. Vlad was about to take this as his cue to leave when the Zakos got in his way.
"This may come as complete surprise to you, zako," Zako 1 began, "But we are not, as we have cleverly disguised ourselves, pastry chefs hired to cater for this wedding, zako."
"We are actually agents of a certain organization," continued Zako 2, "sent here to discuss Ms. Belle-Mere's wedding."
"Well, what do you want from me?" Vlad demanded. Meanwhile, Mihoshi began to work on the second tray.
"Our leader has invested a great deal of money in your show, zako," explained Zako 1.
"And if Ms. Belle-Mere gets married, she'll leave the show," Continued Zako 2.
"And if she leaves the show, there's no show," finished Zako 1.
"Therefore, zako, the General has sent us to deliver an ultimatum," Zako 2 said.
"Keep Ms. Belle-Mere from getting married and leaving showbiz…"
"Or else!" they both finished menacingly.
"I assure you, I have everything under control," Vlad assured, holding his hands up. "Say, who is this guy? Despite all the money he's put in, I've never seen him."
Zako 1, in response, gave his partner a good bonk on the head. From Zako 2's eye an image was projected onto the wall. The picture was that of a round, red, horned three-eyed robot head.
"Good lord!" Vlad gasped.
"Are we éclair?" Asked Zako 1.
"We canolli hope." Replied Zako 2.
With that, the Zako Chefs left. Mihoshi watched them march off before talking to Vlad.
"Mr. Masters, I think those two were gangsters!"
Vlad gave Mihoshi a long look. "Mihoshi, your powers of perception are stupefying."
Zakozakozakozako
"We now go to the groom's room," Skarr explained, "The groom was played by Monkey D. Luffy. Before, he was the Pandaman Toothpast boy. Pandaman was particular popular during the 1920s," Skarr continued, "Mostly because it contained cocaine. Oh, it's true. It was the third ingredient. Right after sugar."
Zakozakozakozako
In his assigned room, Luffy stood in front of a full-size mirror, inspecting himself. Instead of his usual red vest and pants, he wore a black suit with four large buttons(think he outfit from One Piece manga volume 6).
Luffy: "Hey there Mr. Mirror Man
Shakin' and a-quakin'
Tremblin' like dem
Fraidy cats do
Somethin' big be botherin' you"
Luffy slowly began to dance…
Luffy: "Cold feets
Cold feets
Brother you got cold feets
You can make dem
cold feets hot
With a little rhythm"
Now getting into beat, Luffy's dancing started to speed up.
Luffy: "Young feets
Old feets
Can be uncontrolled feets
Rhythm make dem
Cold feets trot
Down the aisle
Frosty arches
They can learn to swing
Icy toes can jive
Wedding marches
Played in ragtime swing
Make frigid soles come alive
And take that dive
Cold feets
Shmold feets
Turn 'em into bold feets
Rhythm makes dem
Cold feets
Hot!"
As Luffy kept dancing, Roger entered the room, talking on the phone.
"Fine, I'll get another minister, you rat! Go roast potatoes in a lot, why don't you!?" Roger hung up and placed the phone on a dresser. It was after that he saw Luffy tap dancing.
"Hey, whatcha doin', Luffy?" Roger asked after watching for a minute.
"I'm singing a song a guy in treasure chest taught me," answered Luffy, still dancing, "A dixie remedy for wedding day jitters."
"You think you've got jitters?" Roger admonished, "You've got the easy part, I have the weight of the wedding on my shoulders!"
"Gee, Roger," Luffy commented, "it sounds like you've got cold feets."
Roger: "What do I got?"
Luffy: "Cold feets"
Roger: "What do I want?"
Luffy: "Bold feets"
Roger: "What do I do- scold feets?"
Luffy: "Nooooo!
You make da cold feets hot"
Roger needed no more coaxing as he joined Luffy in the dance and the two started tap-dancing in time, a feat made more impressive by the fact that that neither of them were wearing tap shoes. At one point, Luffy paused and gave Roger a chance to dance solo, and the rabbit afterward did likewise. Afterward the both of them started dancing together again, until the door swung open. It was Alfred! The underling tap-danced in, carrying a pitcher of water and two glasses on a tray. After the groom and best man took a swig from the glasses, Alfred tap-danced out of the room.
Luffy & Roger: "5-6-7-8
Cold feets, cold feets
Turn 'em into bold feets
Rhythm makes dem
Cold feets hot
You make da cold feets hot
You make da cold feets hot
You make da cold feets hot"
On that final verse, the two stopped dancing and sat on the bed, rubbing his feet.
"Boy, this dancing sure does a number on your tootsies," the rabbit complained. He looked at the still dancing groom, "Are you still edgy?"
"Just a little," Luffy admitted, grinning like a fool.
"You oughta try something else then," Roger suggested, "If you get hurt, then the whole wedding's ruined. Hey! I know!" Roger whipped out a pair of roller skates from behind his back and gave them to Luffy. "Why don't you go skating? That's what I did before my wedding!"
Luffy strapped the skates on and grinned even more. "That's a great idea! Thanks, Roger!"
Luffy rolled his way to the door and was about to leave when Roger yelled.
"Wait!" Luffy looked at him. "If you go skating you might see your bride! Here!"
Roger whipped out a black sash and tied it around Luffy's head, covering his eyes.
"There!" Roger said triumphantly, "Now there's no chance of that happening!"
Luffy shook what he thought was Roger's hand. "Roger, I don't know what I'd do without you!"
Zakozakozakozako
A/N: The being that the Zakos showed was General Zeong, the true leader of the Dark Axis. He appeared at the very end of ep. 26, and got a much larger role in eps 27-52, which the evil Bandai company didn't air in the US.