"So what do you think, Colonel?" Kinch asked at 0910, after the men had given their commanding officers their report.
"Berlin Betty had something to do with this, I just know it!" Hogan replied. Every man had reported that the crew had listened to the radio program and had been adversely affected by it. From what he had read about the crew from the dossiers Kinch had put together from London, none of them seemed capable of committing this sort of treason.
"So what're we going ta do about it guv'nor?" Newkirk asked. He still had a hard time believing that some bird on the radio could do all this. But then again, there was no denying the feelings he had every time he listened to her.
"First things first- I've gotta get out of the cooler. Anderson too."
"Why Anderson, mon colonel?"
"Because I need him to get to Betty." Hogan ignored their curious glances and pressed on- they'd understand later. "Newkirk, you've earned yourself a trip to the cooler."
"What?! Why me?"
"Because you were stealing food from the guards' kitchen, that's why."
Newkirk groaned and threw Hogan a dirty look, but eventually he nodded. "Okay Colonel, I'll do it. But you better not keep me in there too long."
"Don't worry Newkirk," Hogan said with an impish grin. Newkirk wasn't comforted. "Just make sure you make a racket when they bring you in. Kinch, you LeBeau and Carter get ready to listen in on the tap. As soon as Burkhalter and Doctor Kunze arrive, I'm going to get into Klink's office to throw in my two cents and find out why they're coming."
"And then what?"
"And then it all depends on if Doctor Kunze is who and what I think he is."
"And what is that, mon colonel?"
"The evil genius behind Berlin Betty." Hogan didn't wait for any replies. "All right, get to it. I want to be out of the cooler before the hour is up." And with that, Hogan made his way back to his little cell.
"You awake Anderson?" he called when he was safely back inside the cooler.
"Have been for a while. Where'd you run off too?" Anderson had a sneaking suspicion that the colonel wasn't as trapped as the Germans thought he was.
"Been digging out a tunnel with a spoon I snuck in," Hogan shrugged nonchalantly.
Anderson rolled his eyes. "Better get back to it; you said you have to be out of here by noon."
"Actually, my spoon broke, I'm going to have to go with Plan B."
"Plan B?"
"Yup." Hogan checked his watch. "In about ten minutes, one of my men is going to come down here-"
"And bust you out? Are you crazy?"
"Hold it. He's not going to bust me out. Schultz is going to let me out."
"Schultz, the guard?"
"Yup."
Anderson was at a loss for words. "You are crazy," he finally managed, shaking his head. "How do you expect to pull that off?"
Hogan grinned and rocked on his heels. "That's where you come in." Anderson answered him with silence. Hogan could picture the incredulous look on his face, which made him smile even more. There was a certain thrill attached to having plan that no one else understood, even when they were right in the middle of it. "Anderson, I need you to pretend to be the traitor the Germans think you are."
"Don't you mean the traitor you think I am," Anderson almost growled.
"Maybe," was all Hogan would give him. "Listen, just play along and we'll both get out of here."
Anderson raised an eyebrow but decided he'd go along with the colonel's hare-brained scheme. Something told him that the colonel had a bit of experience in this sort of thing- and he was still alive. What was the worse that could happen?
True to his word, not more than ten minutes had passed when Anderson and Hogan heard a commotion coming from the end of the hall. The ruckus grew louder and the two prisoners peeked through the slot at the top of their doors to see Shultz leading Newkirk into the cooler.
"'Ey, let go of me Schultzie! I was doing it for you! LeBeau wanted to make strudel!" Newkirk shouted indignantly.
"Newkirk! You will get me in trouble! I don't want your ill-gotten strudel!"
"What's that? You don't want strudel? You feeling okay Schultzie?"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Hogan shouted over the pandemonium. "Schultz, what's going on?"
"Newkirk was stealing from the kitchen," the big guard explained.
"It was only a few apples guv'nor," Newkirk defended himself, his tone one of pure innocence.
"I don't care if it was a stick of bubble gum!" Hogan shouted at his corporal. He turned to Schultz. "Put him in Schultz and throw away the key!"
Everyone looked at him in astonishment. Anderson raised an eyebrow. He couldn't see how this was going to get them out. "Throw away the key? Colonel 'ogan! That's a little harsh."
"No, it's what you deserve! Stealing from the Germans. They didn't do anything to you! The Germans are our friends."
Schultz was utterly confused. "Colonel Hogan, are you feeling well?"
"Of course I am Schultz, I've just got a new perspective on things that's all. Captain Anderson has been telling me how wonderful the Germans are."
"Captain Anderson?" Schultz repeated, not sure who Hogan was talking about.
"Yeah, you remember, the one who surrendered. Well, we've been talking and I've gotta say, I agree with him. He did the right thing. Heck, if I could, I'd bust out of here just so I could surrender too!"
"Damn right! Surrendering was the best thing I've ever done! Who wouldn't want to be a prisoner of the Third Reich?!" Anderson inputted cheerfully, catching onto Hogan's madness.
"I just wish we could tell everyone how wonderful the German are so that they could all surrender!" Hogan said with a bright smile. Schultz just looked at him like he had finally lost it.
"But Colonel 'ogan-"
"Quiet you! You're in enough trouble. When you get out, I'll make sure you pay for your crime against the Fatherland!"
Schultz didn't know what to say. He quickly put Newkirk in his cell and ran off down the hall. This he had to report to the Kommandant.
"All right Colonel, I know this is going to help, I just don't know 'ow," Newkirk said from the cell across the hall.
"It's simple Newkirk. Schultz is going to tell Klink and Hochstetter everything that happened down here… except the part that you were stealing apples to give him strudel," he added with a small chuckle.
"How's that going to help?" Anderson asked, completely intrigued. Hogan was crazy, but Anderson was maybe beginning to see a method to his madness.
"Well, if the former commander of the 504th bomber division suddenly turned traitor, don't you think the Nazis would want to extort that… maybe even get me on the radio to tell the allies how 'glorious' the Third Reich is?"
"I don't get it Colonel." Nope. There was no method. And if there was, Anderson found himself unable to follow Hogan's erratic thought pattern.
"Blimey mate, how thick can you be? Sir." Anderson just looked at Newkirk with a raised eyebrow. "Berlin Betty, mate! She's behind all this!"
"Behind all what?" He was in a loony bin.
"This is just a theory of course, but I think that somehow Berlin Betty's broadcasts put it into your head to surrender."
Anderson's heart thumped in his chest. Somehow it made sense and his conscience gave a sigh of relief that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that neither he nor his men were actually responsible for what they had done. But then again… "What makes you think that? How can a radio program do that. I mean, she's not exactly subtle."
"I'm hoping either General Burkhalter or his friend, Doctor Kunze can help me with that."
"Doctor Kunze? Why does that name sound familiar?"
Hogan perked up. "You know him?"
Anderson furrowed his brow, trying to remember. "When we were first, uh, 'captured', they took us to Gestapo HQ in Hammelburg. I heard that major… Hochstetter? Yeah, Major Hochstetter talk about him. He told one of his aides to contact him in Berlin and tell him he had new test subjects for him." Anderson shuddered at the memory of the two Gestapo men talking in front of them, blissfully unaware that Anderson could understand the majority of what they were saying.
The sounds of footsteps echoed through the hallways. "You might just be seeing him sooner than you thought Anderson," Hogan said quietly. A moment later, Schultz appeared. "Hiya Schultz, back so soon?"
"Colonel Hogan, Captain Anderson, Kommandant Klink wants you in his office right away. I am here to escort you."
"'Ey Schultzie, what about me then?"
"Not you Newkirk. You just sit in there and think of the horrible thing you did!" Hogan barked as he stepped out of his open cell and into the hallway. Schultz unlocked Anderson and he joined him. Together, the trio made their way out of the cooler and across the compound until they found themselves inside Klink's office.
"Morning Kommandant, miss me already?" Hogan asked with his usual cheeky cheer.
"Hogan, I called you here because Schultz told me that you agree with the punishment I gave to Corporal Newkirk."
"Yes sir! Newkirk's actions were shameful. Shameful! I'm sure he didn't think that every apple he steals from you, you have to replace and that takes apples away from the average German citizen. It's a crime of epic proportions!"
Klink blinked. Any other time, he would've thought Hogan was kidding- being the pain he usually was. But there was such a forceful conviction in his voice that Klink found himself believing his sincerity.
"Since when do you care about the 'average German citizen'?" Hochstetter growled when Klink remained in awed silence.
"I've always cared about them. I guess I've never really thought much about it though until Captain Anderson here told me why he surrendered." Hochstetter and Klink turned expectantly to the captain. Anderson gulped, hoping he could keep up with whatever game Hogan was playing.
"I told him I just couldn't keep going on dropping bombs on civilians… kids… people who are just like him and me, they just happen to live in another country…"
"That's right! And when he said that I just kept thinking about little Mabel Ann who lived down the street from me and how I'd feel if people were dropping bombs on her, or stealing her apples." Mabel Ann? Eh, sounded good- it got Schultz blubbering anyway. Klink was just dumb-founded. Hochstetter just glared at him suspiciously, eyeing him up and down.
"You were listening to Berlin Betty yesterday, correct?" he asked Hogan.
"Yup. That's where I got this pretty little shiner," Hogan acknowledged, gently indicating his black eye.
Hochstetter scratched his chin thoughtfully. Hogan was full of it- usually. But under the circumstances, he may just be telling the truth. Maybe something, not necessarily Anderson, had prompted him to think of little Mabel Ann. A wicked grin crossed Hochstetter's lips. Yes. So even the great Colonel Hogan was susceptible.
"Schultz, take Hogan and Captain Anderson back to their barracks," Hochstetter ordered.
"Jawohl Herr Major," Schultz said with a salute.
"Just a moment Schultz! Major Hochstetter, I put Hogan and Anderson in the cooler for a reason-" Klink began to protest but quickly stopped after the Gestapo man threw him a death glare. "Of course, I think they've both learned their lesson and they seem to be getting along… Schultz! Escort them to their barracks!"
"Thank you for your support Colonel Klink," Hochstetter sneered. "I will be seeing you later, Hogan."
"Lucky me," Hogan said with a forced grin and waited until he had left the office before shuddering.
"I'm assuming everything went according to plan in there," Anderson stated as they followed Schultz through the compound.
"You assume correctly." Hopefully, Hogan didn't add. He opened the barracks door and ushered Anderson in. "Later Schultz!" he called, quickly shutting the door behind him. None of his men were in the main room, which meant they were listening in on the tap in his office. He debated for a second whether he should let Anderson in on that little piece of information. After a moment of indecision, he motioned for Anderson to follow him.
Anderson was met with a strange sight indeed. Three men were huddled around a coffeepot… that was… speaking? Anderson blinked when he recognized Hochstetter's voice. "Wait a second… is that a tap into Klink's office?" he asked in disbelief.
"Uh-huh… What've we missed Kinch?"
"Nothing much, Colonel," Kinch reported. "Hochstetter just placed a call to Berlin."
On cue, Hochstetter spoke a bit louder. "Yes, hello, this is Major Hochstetter! I want you to connect me with Doctor Kunze… What do you mean he is not there?! Never mind! Tell him that he is needed at Stalag 13! Yes, yes… Heil Hitler!"
"Major Hochstetter, who is this Major Kunze?" Klink demanded. "This is my camp, you can't just invite random-"
"KLINK! Shut up! For your information, Doctor Kunze is head of a research project of the Third Reich."
"What sort of research project?" Klink and Hogan asked at the same time.
"That is top secret Klink!" Hochstetter barked.
"I assure you Major Hochstetter, anything you say here will not leave this room." Anderson nearly choked when he heard that. If only he could see what he was seeing!
"Well, you will find out soon enough," Hochstetter conceded. "Very well. Doctor Kunze is working on a project involving subliminal messaging." Again Klink and Hogan were in unison as they repeated what Hochstetter had said. "Yes. I want him to come to assess the effects it's had on the men in the camp- Colonel Hogan in particular."
Hogan furrowed his brow. "All right, turn it off Kinch." The radioman nodded and unplugged the coffeepot. "All right, before anyone can ask, here's the plan. Doctor Kunze is behind whatever is making us go all wacky when we listen to Berlin Betty- subliminal messaging." He glanced around, receiving solemn nods from his men. They each wore troubled looks, each contemplating exactly what Hochstetter had revealed.
"Subliminal messaging… Does that mean they've been brainwashing us?" Carter asked, horrified at the thought. "How can they do that?"
"I don't know. But Doctor Kunze has the answer. I'm going to convince Klink to let me go onto Berlin Betty's radio program so I can tell all the Allies to surrender, yada, yada, you know the drill. Kinch, I want you to sneak along- bring a camera and whatever tools you may need to dismantle a radio. Carter, LeBeau, requisition a truck from the motor pool and follow us- at a safe distance… go in uniform as an extra security detail. Get Baker to draw up some orders for you. Carter, my boy, get together some explosives."
"Why Colonel?" the sergeant asked. "Not that I mind of course," he amended hastily.
"Because it's not going to be enough to take out the radio station. We're going to have to get Doctor Kunze and his lab or wherever he's come up with this thing. That way, they won't be able to reproduce… whatever they're using." Hogan scrunched his nose. He didn't like having too many unknowns, but in this situation, he couldn't help it.
"Colonel?" Everyone turned to see Olsen poke his head into the room.
"What is it Olsen?"
"Burkhalter's staff car just pulled into the compound."
"Thanks." He turned to his men. "All right men, show time. Anderson, come with me." Anderson nodded and followed the colonel as he marched purposefully towards Klink's office.