A/N: English has now turned into "Free-for-all Fanfiction Hour" because my English teacher is on bed rest and we have a sub. This works out to your advantage, fortunately, because my writing time is dramatically increased. Thanks for reading!

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"House!" Cuddy's voice echoed ominously down the hall as she jogged after the fleeing cripple. He disappeared into and empty exam room, where his immunologist happened to be treating a patient. She looked at him questioningly. House addressed said patient.

"I was paged for a consult on this case."

"My head's been hurting." The patient replied. "I think it could be a brain tumor."

"Oh no!" House gasped in mock horror. "We'll need to do blood work...and MRI..."

"Dr. House," Cameron interjected, trying not to laugh at her boss's antics. "The patient has a headache.

"Oh, well...in that case..."

"HOUSE!" Cuddy burst into the room, a file clenched in her fist.

"Oh! Dr. Cuddy! What a pleasant surprise!" House had pushed Cameron to near hysterics this time. She let out a small laugh as her face turned red.

"I've been chasing you around for almost half an hour!" Cuddy seemed ridiculously tall to House at this particular moment.

"Sorry about that. Urgent consult. Could have been a brain tumor." House replied. At this point, Cameron had to excuse herself from the room before she lost her job.

"Yes, cancer is excellent fodder for comedy." Cuddy snarled. "I have an application for your department."

"I'm not hiring." House was actually confused.

"Yes, but this kid could be an asset." House stared at her quizzically for a moment before he replied.

"No doctor, talented or not, could make you chase me around the Clinic for half an hour, unless daddy was either a donor or screwing you."

"Glad to see your professionalism returning." Came the dry reply.

"Actually, I take it back. There's no way you're getting any." Cuddy sighed.

"His father has contributed thousands of dollars to this hospital.

"If I give you money, can I do whatever I want?"

"Just give him an interview."

"Let me think. Hmmmm. No."

"One week." The Clinic Duty bargaining began.

"Higher."

"Two."

"Higher."

"Two and a half. That's my final offer."

"Five." House dictated.

"No way."

"Well then, we seem to have reached a stalemate." Cuddy glared at him and he grinned back.

"Fine!" Cuddy finally cracked. "Go up and meet him in your office." House turned to leave, then turned back and handed her a dollar.

"In my personal opinion as a donor, I think I should be able to write my own perscriptions for Vicodin." He grinned and then walked away.

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House stood outside his office for about 10 minutes, glaring through the glass wall at the back of an unfamiliar head.

"You know, the longer you pout, the worse it's gonna be when you actually go in there." Cameron's voice assaulted him from behind. Was nowhere safe from her? He glared at the world in general and reached for the door handle.

"Give it 10 minutes, then come on in." He told her. She nodded and walked away, as he gripped the door handle and ripped it open with the force of a freight train, causing the young man seated within to jump about three feet into the air.

"Hi, I'm Dr. House!" He announced, grinning maniacally. He popped a few Vicodin before sitting in his chair and pulling out his GameBoy.

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"Medical experience?" House inquired, not looking up from his game.

"I went to Harvard Medical School, and interned at Ingham Med. I'm a cardiologist, and I-."

"Damn it!" House swore as he game made a dramatic sound effect. "Lost a life." He grabbed the bottle of scotch from the middle drawer and took a swig before returning to the game. "Favorite baseball team?" He asked the young man.

"The Yankees. Why is this important?"

"It's not. I just figured that as long as you're gonna camp out in here, we might as well have something to talk about." Cameron entered the room, and House actually looked up from the game. "Dr. Cameron! I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to sort my e-mail."

"Well, seeing as you're sitting right in front of the computer..." She broke off as House grinned at her and patted his lap. She looked at him incredulously, wondering where his joking would end. It wasn't until she saw the look in his eyes that she realized he was serious. Gingerly, she took a seat on her boss's lap. It wasn't as awkward as she had though it would be. In all actuality, she liked being this close to him. So much for being over House, she thought wearily. House seemed oblivious to her discomfort, as he snaked an arm around her waist and turned back to the applicant, who was failing miserably in his attempts to hide the combination jealous/incredulous expression on his face. House noticed it immediately and smirked.

"What?" House asked innocently.

"Um...well...she...you..." The applicant stammered.

"Thank you for your time." House grinned nastily. "I'll save Dr. Cameron a phone call and just tell you right now that we're not interested. Have a nice day!" House mock-waved as the applicant practically ran for the door. House and Cameron watched his escape and simultaneously exploded in laughter.

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Ten minutes later, the laughter had finally subsided and Cameron was finishing up House's e-mail. Cuddy happened to choose that precise moment to come bursting through the door.

"House! You practically made him wet his pants! I wouldn't be surprised if he's decided to become an architect. What the hell did you do to-." Cuddy looked up in surprise as it registered that her entire diagnostics department was currently occupying a single chair.

"Aww, boss! I couldn't hire him. He was a Yankees fan!" House explained.

"Why is Dr. Cameron sitting on your lap?" Cuddy asked, the way you would ask a four-year old why the red paint on his hands matched the little handprints you'd found on your brand new sofa.

"Funny you should ask, Dr. Cuddy." He felt Cameron shift her weight in discomfort and tightened his arm around her. He smirked at Cuddy. "We could make it a threesome if you want." Cuddy threw her hands up and left the room as the Diagnostics Department exploded in laughter once again.

"Am I killing your leg?" Cameron asked, once they had finally calmed down.

"Actually." House realized with a bit of surprise. "It doesn't hurt at all."