Canderous

The trip back to Dxun only took fifteen minutes or so; apparently the warship had continued its progress towards our moon during our raid, but slowly. Atton had commed to assure us that everyone on the Ebon Hawk was safe, and to report that they'd seen the Sith vessel vaporize. It confirmed our own data, and a cheer went up all over the ship when I had Dax announce it.

Mission, Jennet, Jolee, Stefan, and Dustil were in the cockpit when we received Atton's communication, and there were celebratory gestures all around. Jennet and Mission hugged everyone, and when the Twi'lik got to me, I picked her up without waiting for her to fling herself at me first. I caught a brief glimpse of Jennet's face, grinning broadly.

You old softie.

"We owe you our lives," I said to Mission, giving her a rib-creaking hug and a kiss on the forehead. I set her down, deliberately next to Dustil, and offered my hand to him. "Good work up there, both of you. Not one fighter, transport, or escape pod got off that warship."

Dustil shook my hand, frowning. "I didn't do a thing," he protested.

"You protected Mission," I corrected. "And that was important. I saw you get in your fair share of kills, too. The Republic is going to be lucky to have you."

Dustil glowed a bit at the praise, but simply put his arm around Mission and kissed her cheek.

"You scare me sometimes, the chances you take," Dustil said quietly to his fiancé, and I chuckled.

"Get used to it," I informed the young man. "It won't get easier."

Jennet gave me a half hearted scowl, and I tucked her under my arm as we went back to the main cabin. We landed a few minutes later. The rest of the camp was gathered at the battlefield; Jarxel had commed ahead to give our ETA and assure everyone the mission was a success. A cheer went up as we disembarked from the Phoenix, and as everyone on board the Ebon Hawk filed out of the hanger. Elder Gregor approached, and shook my hand.

"Good work, Mandalore," he said gruffly.

"I didn't have much to do with it," I said ruefully.

"You got everyone moving," Elder Gregor pointed out. "Sometimes that's all a leader needs to do."

Elder Evana bustled up. "It's still early in the day," she said brightly, and I realized with a start she was right; not even noon yet. "Will we proceed with the ceremony?"

Jennet had reached us then, having been held up by celebratory hugs and hand slaps. "You bet," she said happily. "Give us a few hours to clean up, and eat. I'm starved; is the mess hall functional?"

"Um," said Kumas, who had been reporting to Jarxel and was approaching, "Yeah, it's functional. Lorna refused to leave it; said you'd all need to eat when you got back." He looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I tried to get her to evacuate, Mandalore; even sent two of our biggest guys in to haul her to safety. But she beat them off with," he gulped, looking embarrassed, "one of those big solid steel spoons. Almost gave Barren a concussion. I figured if she could do that, she'd be all right if we did have to fight, and let her be."

I stared at him a minute, the image of Lorna whacking Barren with a spoon trickling into my brain. The laugh that escaped me probably scared Kumas to death at first, but I just waved a hand at him, taking gulps of air and holding my sides as I roared with amusement. I heard Jennet and the honor guard joining in behind me.

"You did okay," I said to Kumas, when I'd caught my breath. "Lorna can take care of herself. She's deadly with kitchen utensils." My mouth was twitching, but I managed to keep from snickering again. "Let's go eat, shall we?"

We headed en masse to the mess hall, and I watched Jennet regain all her strength as she ate. I put away a fair amount myself. Lorna came to the table, refilling platters and bringing pitchers of beverages. I smiled as she bustled about.

"I hear you beat up one of my warriors," I said conversationally, trying not to grin.

"Hmph," she sniffed. "Silly boy, as if you and Jennet would fail. Someone has to keep their priorities straight; I knew you'd be hungry when you got back." She sent a fond smile at Jennet. "She needs to keep her strength up. And it's your wedding day!" Lorna's voice rose a tad, and she beamed at us both. "I'm not about to let all this food go to waste."

"Thank you Lorna," Jennet beamed back. "Your devotion to duty is admirable. But honestly, if we ever do have an imminent attack again, I would much rather have you alive than dinner on the table."

"I can take care of myself, darlin'" Lorna said cheerfully. "You just leave that to me."

Jennet sighed. "I'm not going to win here, am I?"

"Welcome to my world, Wildcat," I chuckled.

Lorna patted Jennet's cheek and gathered up the empty platters, preparing to take them back to the kitchens. Jennet stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Just a moment," she said politely, and leaned past me to address the Elders.

"Elder Evana," she called, and the older woman looked up, head tilted in attention. "I think we can dispense with the wedding battles, yes?"

"Certainly, dear," came the answer. "This morning's work is more than enough."

"Good," Jennet nodded. "We have one more bit of business left today. The ceremony will begin at sunset."

"We'll be ready," Elder Gregor promised.

"I'll assign a torch detail," Dax said, and Jennet nodded.

"Thanks, Dax. Ladria, can you gather the Jedi, Carth, Dustil, and Mission, and meet me at the battlefield in fifteen minutes?" Ladria agreed, and Jennet turned to me. "Where's Kumas?"

"Around here somewhere," I said, and then caught what she was about. "I'll find him."

We all met at the Phoenix, which was again parked on the battlefield. Jennet looked solemn as she looked around at our circle of friends.

"Kumas put Bastila's body in a storage shed. He didn't have time to bury her, and wasn't sure what Canderous would want him to do with her, in any case. I think that's up to all of you," she said quietly. "I don't feel I should have a say in this."

There was silence for a while, and I studied their faces. Carth had his blankest look, Mission looked ready to cry, and Dustil just frowned somberly. Disciple had a thoughtful frown; Atton, Mira and Bao Dur were neutral in expression and stance. Ladria and Visas seemed remote, Stefan as bland as Carth. Only Jolee didn't seem upset or uncomfortable, or like he was trying to hide either emotion.

"Bastila was a puzzle to me when we traveled together," he said almost casually, but even I could feel the tremor of sadness that laced his tone. "Her aura was infused with great passion and drive, but she kept herself so controlled. In many ways, she embodied why I left the Order; the constant battle of denying your own nature to serve the greater good. I never did hold to that. Bastila tried too hard to keep to an ideal she didn't feel herself capable of ever achieving." His deep brown eyes held regret and sorrow.

I shifted a little, not wanting to meet that look, but held it steady, almost defiantly so. I didn't regret Bastila's death; only that Jennet had done it, because I knew what it cost her. I wished devoutly that I had been the one to snuff that life; one more on my conscience made little difference to me. But Jennet was fiercely denying in my head that it was my place to do it. I couldn't agree that it had been hers, but completely supported its need. I was almost, but not quite, angry that no one else had had the guts to step up and do it.

"But," Jolee continued softly, "she had been a good Jedi once, a good woman. My only regret is as her friend, I didn't see what was in front of me until it was too late to save her."

"She was," Mission said dully. "But what she became…" her voice trailed off, and I saw a tear track down her face.

"How is she any different than Revan?" Ladria asked. "Revan fell, committed terrible acts of murder and betrayal, but she was redeemed. I understand the necessity of what Jennet did, but I can't help but think…"

"That we should have locked her up somehow, given her a chance," Jennet said flatly. "Don't think it hasn't occurred to me. I can't take it back. And I didn't see a choice."

"There wasn't one," Stefan said with some forcefulness, before I could even open my mouth to defend my Mate. "She was a danger to us all, and we couldn't risk her escaping. I wish I had seen it too, believe me. I cared about her and considered her a friend. We spent a lot of time in council, and she seemed so committed and determined to make up for her fall. But if Jolee's right, she was helping to exterminate the Jedi, and damn near did it. We all," he gestured around the circle, "saw her mind. It was horrific, and utterly without sanity as we know it. I say it was a mercy to release her from that. I can't believe that redemption isn't possible, even from the grave."

"Do you really think so?" Visas said softly. "There's hope, even in death?"

"I do," Stefan said firmly. "And I think we should give her proper Jedi rites, with the hope her soul finds peace in the Force."

"At twilight, then," Ladria said quietly. "I agree."

"I'll see you after, then," Jennet said. "At the wedding. I hope you still want to attend."

"You're not coming to the funeral?" Ladria asked, surprised.

"I don't think I have much right to be there," Jennet said, eyes down.

She was trying hard not to cry. I could feel it, and I suddenly understood that she was terrified that her friends blamed her for killing Bastila. Worse, she blamed herself.

I told you once you have a gift for instinctive conclusion based on the data at hand, I told her silently. You did was necessary and best for everyone, including Bastila. And if they find it a little cold and calculating for their tastes, remember it was the Jedi that were willing to let my people exterminate whole races for 'the greater good'. You were trying to save lives, not just rid yourself of trouble.

I suppose, she said dully. I just wish it didn't feel so rotten.

Welcome to the club, General Ordo, I said, echoing Carth's words of a few days ago. You make hard decisions. Don't apologize because you can.

She gave a mental shrug, but I felt her tears recede. Standing straight, she lifted her eyes again to Ladria.

"You more than anyone have the right to be there," the other woman was saying to Jennet, eyes serious and compassionate. "You gave her peace, and did what none of us could."

"I could," I heard Carth mutter next to me, but no one else heard. I gave him a sideways glance, and he caught my eye and nodded bitterly. "So could you."

"Yeah," I muttered back, "but I wouldn't feel bad about it later." Carth gave a wry twist of the lips in acknowledgement.

Jennet looked at Ladria a long moment, and finally gave a nod. "Yes," she said, her voice low but not ashamed. "Yes, I'll be there."

"Good," and all the other Jedi, and Mission, nodded in agreement.

"Are…" Jennet faltered, then cleared her throat. "Will you all still stand with me at my wedding?"

"Why the fuck wouldn't we?" Mira exclaimed in honest surprise. "Because you killed an evil bitch that wanted us all dead? We should thank you for that. Or maybe I could be pissed I didn't have the nerve."

There was a short shocked silence, followed by guilty laughter.

"Mira has a point," Bao Dur said in his gentle way. "And I for one never once considered bowing out of the ceremonies. You and Canderous are my friends. And the universe needs as much love in it as it can get."

There was a general murmur of agreement, and everyone managed to touch or hug Jennet as the group broke off in their various directions. Mission was last.

"I'm sorry Bastila is dead," she said as she gave Jennet a hard, fierce hug. "But what you killed wasn't her, not the person I knew. She died long before you ever met her. Don't ever feel you did something bad."

Jennet did cry then, and clung to Mission for several long minutes. Carth and I exchanged looks over their heads, and Dustil put a comforting hand on his fiancé's shoulder. I didn't touch Jennet, but let her feel my presence in her mind, and she calmed down.

"Thank you," she said to the Twi'lik, and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry about your friend."

Mission made a gesture that managed somehow to convey both regret and practical acceptance. "She made her choice. I'm just sorry what it was," she said simply.

Carth looked at Jennet gravely. "I'm not sure what you did, or how big a part you played when we invaded Bastila's mind," he said seriously. "But Visas and Ladria both seem to think that because of it, we have a chance of finding Revan. I'm sorry that Bastila is dead, but I agree with Mission. She made her choice. The way I see it, you did what was needed."

Jennet just nodded, and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

Carth bent and looked her in the eye, his hazel gaze intent, a hand on her shoulder to both steady himself and keep her attention. He wasn't nearly as tall as me, but then not many adults are as tiny as Jennet. She looked at him, eyes wide and a little startled.

"Even if it doesn't pan out, and I never find her, and she never comes home, I'll never forget what you did to help. It was your idea, and I'm grateful. Thank you." Then he kissed her, quick and light, once on the mouth and then on the forehead. Before either of us could react, he gathered his son and daughter and left us alone. Jennet touched her lips and stared after his retreating back.

"Well," she said thoughtfully after a long moment of silence. "I wonder if he's going to kiss all of us."

"Not if he wants be intact when Revan comes back," I growled, but without heat.

I was surprised that I felt no jealousy at all. Jennet could tell, and nudged me gently.

"Careful," she said teasingly, "you're coming dangerously close to being civilized."

"Nah," I said comfortably. "I'd pay money to see what happens if he tries that with Mira. Dax would challenge him, at the very least."

"Or Visas," Jennet said. "I think Jarxel would kill him."

"Jarxel?" I said, shocked. "When did that happen?"

But then I thought about this morning, and Jarxel with his arm protectively around the Miraluka woman, both rumpled. I had assumed at the time that she had woken him first, so the honor guard would let her in to see me and Jennet. Now I wondered if he had awakened because he was there when she had her vision.

"I'm not sure it has," Jennet said, picking up my thoughts and sharing her own. "Just a couple of things she's said, that's all. Not my business. But if it's true, I'm happy for them."

"Yeah, me too," I said distractedly. I meant it, but the thought underscored how different my world had become since Jennet burst into it. I smiled.

"We have a wedding to prepare for," I reminded her, and bent to kiss her soundly.