What would happen if the Clan cats got phones? Pure chaos! ILOVECHAOS!

Wooo! More reviews! xD Sorry I haven't updated in so long. Stuff happened. I was caught up in school life. And now, in this single moment of time, I now present to you…

ANSWERING MACHINES OF THE FOREST! YESH! Now then…reviews…-looks at extremely long list- o.0 Woah. All righty then…

Dogi9, Spiderpaw, Jaypaw22, Leafpool, Dewflower, Amberpool, Galestar, Whistelsong/Icefang, Rain and Moss, and Fernstar!

Thank you all for reviewing expect some more frequent updates now that I have a finished story out of the way. Let's begin, now, shall we?

(If I left anyone out, please forgive me and my short term memory banks. T.T)

Hawkfrost's Answering Machine
Sup. This is….Hawkfrost.

(Dramatic DUN-DUN-DUN)

If you are calling about my evil plans of utter destruction, doom, and emo-ness, GO TO THE SECURE PHONE YOU IDIOT.

Have a nice day-that-might-be-your-last.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Message One
Hi. This is Hawkfrost's number, right?

(voice) Yes, Squirrelflight…

All righty, thanks Leafpool! I have called you today not just to talk about how much I know about your emo-ish plans of ruling the forest, but instead to talk about how much I hate you. Reason A – I hate you. Reason B – I don't like you. Reason C – I despise you. Reason D – I do not enjoy your company.

(Fifteen minutes later)

And finally, Reason Z. I dislike your emo-ness. Have a nice day.

Oh yeah, I'm going to come in the middle of the night to steal those chickens I know you're holding hostage. I have a rabid mouse and I'm not afraid to use it.

Message Two
Hi, Hawkfrost, it's Mothwing. Just wanted to know that your brother was kidnapped and is being held prisoner by evil rabbits. They said that you need to come at midnight tomorrow to Fourtrees. What they want, I don't know and I really don't care.

Message Two
A-antacid…I…need…antacid…

(Choking)

Message Three
Let's sing a song about paper clips.

Message Four
(distant voice) Oh, this book? They're distributing a mark of evil and if you don't get it you get your head chopped off with a guillotine.

(other voice)… Do you ever read…cheerful books?

Message Five
PICK A NUMBER ONE THROUGH FIVE, CAN'T BE ONE AND IT CAN'T BE FIVE!

Leopardstar's Answering Machine
Yeeeah, it's all about the wordpla-

HOLY! WHO TURNED THE ANSWERING MACHINE ON! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM I-

Beeeeep

Message One
Yeah, this is Firestar…Brambleclaw is missing…I just called to see if maybe Hawkfrost was holding him hostage in that new evil laboratory he got added to the warrior's den. I must admit, it adds an element that wasn't there before…

Message Two
You shall never rule me. I rule you. RAWR.

Message Three
WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT MY MOUSE!

Message Four
September 26th, 8:23 PM. I'm outside of the enemy's HQ. I'm moving in…HOLY! GAH! DUCK! GEORGE GET OUT OF THERE!

(other voice) Uh…Bob, I-

WHAT!

(voice) This isn't our HQ.

….Crap.

Message Five
WHY! WHY IS MY PIZZA COLD!

Mothwing's Answering Machine
Hi, this is Mothwing. Please leave a message after the beep.

(voice in background combined with a television) GAH! NO! DON'T GO OUT WITH HER HERALD! JANE, DON'T MARRY HIM! NOOOOOOO!

Beeeeeeeeeep

Message One
I just need some tweezers, a lawn mower, my mom, and a lighter. It'll be as good as new. Huh?

(sound of footsteps) How the heck did this turn on!

Message Two
X times two squared divided by 4 plus 27 equals Y to the quadrillionth power. Is that right teacher?

(voice) NO!

Message Three
What a wonderful sunset….if only I was not dead.

Message Four
Hello, CAN I HELP YOU!

Message Five
Hmmm….Kim Jackson, room eight-ten, floor umpteen, building Z. Hmm, I don't seem to have any record of her.

(voice) That's because the freakin' directory is upside down.

Hope you all enjoyed. Oh yeah, from now on, I'm gunna have to list reviewers at the bottom because titles and A/Ns are supposed to be short, not two trillion pages long. xD

Expect an update within a week or two.

Vix