HELLO WORLD! AMF ISN'T DEAD! x3 My muse has chased away the eternal(Not really if it's gone) humor writing block I had for a LONG TIME! xD Reviews at the bottom, like I said before! ENJOY! Don't eat the cows. One day they will rise up against us and eat us against our will.

Nah, just kidding, only chickens can do that.

Disclaimer: The chickens ate everything I owned.

Blackstar's Answering Machine

MOO! Teehee. I like cows.

Beeeeeeeep

Message One

Die, cow-liker! CHICKENS RULE! See? I'm wearing a shirt that says "I like Chickens More Than Cows!" Oh yeah, it's….um….BLOBPAW! Yeah, that's it! Blobpaw!

(background) Whitepaw, what are you doing?

Shut up Mousefur! I'm practicing my prank calls!

Message Two

Hi Blackstar, it's Firestar. Um, I've got a board meeting with StarClan today, so…how about we do the raid another time? Next week, maybe?

(background) Dad! You said you were going to the moonstone tomorrow!

Uh…don't mind Leafpool…she doesn't know what she's talking about…

Message Three

Hi Blackstar. Boulder escaped from the priso- er, I mean, the Elder's Den again. Out looking for Tigerstar so that he can forgive him. I, the majestic Russetfur, am asking permission to take out a patrol to look for him.

(muttering) Hopefully he actually fell into the lake this time…

Message Four

Hi! This is Littlecloud. Tallpoppy's kitting. Get to the nursery as fast as possible!

(thinks for a minute)

Er…I mean, take your time…Heh… PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GIVE BOULDER A BATH!

Message Five

EEK! Blackstar, get over here! I'm kitting!

Russetfur's Answering Machine

Yes, Blackstar, I know you need to go to the moonstone today…Yes, I'm organizing a patrol to go with you… Please, hold on! I'm recording a message! Wait! No! Hold on I'm coming!!

(getting further away) Don't leave me behind with these idiots!

Beeeeeeeeep

Message One

Hi Russetfur, it's Smokepaw, you know, the only ShadowClan apprentice? I was wondering if Oakfur was available to train with me today, um, if you're not too busy forcing him to work against his will.

Message Two

MEOW.

(in background) Gosh, that idiot Pip couldn't speak cat if the CD bit him in the nose!

MEOUFF!

Message Three

DIE, RUSSETFUR, DIE!

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Message Four

Um…Russetfur, Rowanclaw stole your bedding…DON'T SKIN ME!

Message Five

HEEHEE. Do you have….um….Prince….Arthur in a can? – I know, Birchpaw – T-then you better let him out! HAHAHA! What? Shut up Longtail, I'm trying to prank call the ShadowClan deputy! What? She'll rip my throat out? Nonsen – AAAAGH!

Tawnypelt's Answering Machine

Hi! It's Tawnypelt, leave a message after the tone!

(pause)

Oh yeah, and if it's Brambleclaw, I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU FOR UNKNOWN REASONS!

Beeeeep!

Message One

Hi Tawnypelt, it's Squirrelflight. Brambleclaw's been meeting with Hawkfrost again. Wanna beat him up sometime tomorrow?

Message Two

You have been selected as a…er…witness for Squirrelflight. She raided the Coke building. AGAIN.

Message Three

Let's make a CAKE!

Message Four

Hi Tawnypelt. We're throwing this party, and the confetti's HORRIBLE! Who ever heard of confetti based on a person someone's never met in real life IN their entire life?! But I'm rambling. Want to come?

(pause)

There'll be FOOD…

(pause)

And….TOMS!

Message Five

Omg! Why do hardbacks have to be so expensive?

(whimpers)

Now I can't read Sunset till I actually do CHORES!

Okay, the end FOR NOW! I promise I'll update soon! x3 Compared to all of the other fics I'm writing (and actual stories I'm re-writing), this is a piece of cake that I can write in 14 minutes after having anything sugar-related. Nah, not really, but it's really fun and really easy to write for you guys Whom I'm listing right now...xD

comet7, Spottedstar, LostBluePhantom, Snowlia, Mearii, Peter Pan of course!, JaBoYa, Ambercloud101, Brambleclaw's Babe, BuTTErPelt2730, Dancer of the Wind, Moonie, Xx-Hazelnut-xX

Thanks for reviewing you guys! x3 And to answer some specific reviews...

Ambercloud101 - I'm doing one clan per chapter, so right now Ashfur's not gunna be on here, but I'm planning on doing a requests page for the requested answering machines. Ashfur'll be in there! And possibly some messages from Squirrelflight...Teehee.

Peter Pan of Course! - I don't mind at all, that was just my inner writer's block making itself known is all I'll cut back on the random comments anyway, though.

LostBluePhantom - No! NOT THE CHICKENS! x3 I updated though, Roseh/Phantom, so you can put the chickens away now

Anyway, click that pretty little review button for me, okay? I'll update soon CUB SCOUT'S PROMISE!

Oh crap, I'm not even in a scout program!

-Man-Eating Chickens United(MECU) ... nah, just me! x3