I'm very upset because my stupid computer went all buggy and destroyed this chapter, which was awesome, and I had to rewrite it TT anyway, we've done ThunderClan, RiverClan, ShadowClan, and now WindClan. Next chapter is StarClan and the…not-StarClan place x.o, then the chapter after that will be the requests chapter, so be sure to include requests when you review n.n
Onestar's Answering Machine
YO. It's Onestar. Leave a message after the tone.
Beeeeeeeep
Message One
Have you been getting lots of unnecessary messages? I'm sure you have. I know I have. But now I don't. Because I answer my phone. If you answer a phone, hobos like me won't talk and hang up instead.
Message Two
Has YOUR camp been a little messy lately? I'm sure it has. Now this problem is solved, with the brand new VACCUMM CLEANER! To order call the number 1-234-423452-234243-234-234234-2342365345-645724235-142624443-41252356237345-234534523. Again, the number is 1-234-423452-234243-234-234234-2342365345-645724235-142624443-41252356237345-234534523! Call today.
(pause)
And just FYI, if you don't call…I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
Message Three
FROGS!
Message Four
Hi. My name is Dr. Fluffy. Someone recruited me to help you with your…unhealthy relationship with a watermelon. Give me a call.
Message Five
I HATE YOU ONESTAR! I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!
BEWARE.
I know where you live.
Crowfeather's Answering Machine
Hi it's Crowfeather. If you are a screaming obsessed fangirl, if you press that button that has the letters E, N, and D on it, it will redirect your call to my cell phone. If you're not a screaming obsessed fangirl, leave a message after the tone.
Beeeeeeeeep
Message One
I gotta say, that fangirl thing almost threw me off. But I know that your cellphone was stolen and sold on the black market a few weeks ago. Anyway…..AHHHHHH CROWFEATHER I LOVE YOU I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Message Two
I wish I was like you. It must be so much fun to run from rabid fans who have followed you all the way from Arizona.
Message Three
HOW COULD YOU CROWFEATHER?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!
Message Four
NOO LEAFPOOL!
(other voice) I'm sorry. I'm afraid it's – heh – too late…
NOOOOO!
(same voice) heh….heh..
stop giggling, stupid! You'll give it away…
(same voice) Give what away?
DANGIT!
Message Five
Crowfeather. It's Firestar. I just wanted to tell you to GET AWAY FROM THUNDERCLAN TERRITORY! I know how much you secretly adore my daughter, but if you could, please adore her FROM THE WINDCLAN SIDE OF THE BORDER. Thank you.
Nightcloud's Answering Machine
Hi it's Nightcloud. If you're a hater, please hang up. If you're not a hater, please don't hang up.
Beeeeep!
Message One
YOU HORRIBLE PERSON!
Message Two
How could you…?
Message Three
YOU TOOK CROWFEATHER AWAY FROM ME!
Message Four
Nightcloud, hey. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to reach even your answering machine with all that hate mail. It's Crowfeather. I'm going to teach our son some manners. You can help if you want.
Message Five
Sometimes I wonder why everyone hates me, too.
Thanks to all of you guys for reviewing:
RoseLizzi, LostBluePhantom, Spottedstar, Skyfeather123, Snowfeather, Dancer of the Wind, cassiejennahermione, HappyStickofTNT, rainwhisker62, and Leafpool
Remember to include requests.
Oh, and, if you can figure out who it is on Onestar's fifth message, you'll get…a virtual Crowfeather! Here's a hint: He's not friends with most large foliage.
I'll try and update before Independence Day x3
And speaking of then, I'm planning an insane oneshot concerning a Warriors-version of said holiday…
I'm just full of things to say. Anywho, last thing, there is another fanfic called You've Got Voicemail by FrostFire15-Boldheart'sLoyalty that is similar to Answering Machines of the Forest. I'd just like to say I have no problems with it, seeing as they got the idea from someone else. nn
I can't blame them for not realizing that I had a fanfic similar to theirs, seeing as I haven't updated since January xx
I'll try and update quickly!
vixundermybed