Teeny-weeny disclaimer: Me no own Harry Potter.

Note to readers: Gokigenyoo! This story is going by so fast! Anywho, if you wanna talk to me, e-mail me (address on home page). I'd be happy to talk to you about fan fics, anime, or just basic stuff such as "A/S/L?" And about the characters being idiots…? I like them as idiots! If you like this story, I have another idea for a story…WHICH IS NOT YET TO BE REVEALED! MUAHAHA.

Anyway, here's Chapter Three! Enjoy!

Chapter Three

Malik Conquers Younkers

"HERE WE AAAAARRRREEEE!" Yami yelled as the two of them got back to the group. Yugi scrambled off his back.

"YAY!" Joey, Tristan, and Ryou chorused.

"What should we do now?" Tea asked.

Malik gasped.

"What is it, Malik?" Marik wanted to know.

"It's…there…" Malik said, pointing to a nearby store. "It's…that one…"

"Younkers?" Yugi questioned.

"YES, THAT ONE."

"What's so special about it?" Tristan said.

"I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER IT! MUAHAHA!"

Marik sweatdropped. "Somebody had too much coffee this morning."

"Come, Marik, we are going to conquer Younkers."

"How much coffee did he have?" Ryou asked.

"Two pots."

"I SAID COME, DAMMIT!" Malik screeched, dragging Marik off to Younkers.

"But why this one?"

"Oh gawd," Bakura said.

"We're going to have to go get them," Tea sighed. All seven followed them into the store.

"Wow, this place is ginormous!" Malik giggled. "I have an idea."

"Can I please leave, Malik?"

"HECK NO. See those little chambers?"

"You mean the fitting rooms?"

"That's where the slaves are going to be kept."

"Slaves?"

The rest of the gang was hiding behind a clothing rack, listening to everything the two said.

"This is going to be embarrassing," Joey said.

"You embarrass us ALL THE TIME," Ryou told him.

"Whatever. Just listen!"

"Here, Marik. Watch as I address them as their new ruler." Malik stood up on the nearest makeup counter.

"PSST! Marik! Save yourself!" Tristan whispered. Marik went and hid with the others behind the clothing rack.

"Attention, people of Younkers! It is I, Malik, your new ruler!"

"Get down from there, buddy," a tall, blonde man passing by said.

"From now on, you slaves shall all address me as Your Majesty, Malik! This is my assistant, Marik!" Then he looked to see that Marik wasn't there.

"WHERE DID YOU GO, INSIGNIFICANT SPECK?"

"Excuse me." A short, black-haired woman said.

"Huh? Address your king properly!"

"I'm a cashier, not a slave. I'm asking you to get down from that counter or we'll have to call security."

"Security? Whatever this 'security' is, it will not stop me from ruling your principality!"

"Younkers is a department store."

"Beh."

The rest of the group came out from behind the clothing rack.

"Come on, Malik, let's go," Yami said, grabbing his arm.

"You shall not make me!" Malik cried, grabbing a bottle of mascara. He waved it in the air, then pointed it at Yami and shouted "WINGARIUM LEVIOSA!"

Everyone in the vicinity sweatdropped.

"Put the mascara down," Bakura said, shaking his head. "We'll go get something to drink if you do."

Malik's eyes grew big. "Really?"

"Really."

"All right." He put the mascara down and got off the counter. "I'll be back, mortals!"

As the nine of them left, Marik called to the cashier, "Sorry! He had too much coffee today!"

And the cashier just stared and stared.