Chapter Summary: Remus and Sirius discuss the current situation and contemplate what to do about it. A short filler chapter, but review me and love it anyways!
Sirius' heart felt so heavy that it nearly threw him off balance and he could barely fly back to Godric's Hollow that night without falling off the broom at least twice. By the time he made it back to Godric's Hollow, it was close to 3 AM. But there was still a light on in the cottage where the Potters hid. Sirius parked the broom on the corner of the cottage and went inside. The light was coming from the den, where Remus sat in front of the fireplace drinking a mug of tea. Vivienne was curled up on the couch next to him, asleep. Harry was dozing in the chair he'd been sitting in earlier, his book still open in his lap. Sirius looked at the scene and almost felt like he was in a Christmas card. Ugh, there were so many good things about this universe, but so many more bad things!
Remus heard Sirius come in. He stood up to face him, and immediately noticed that Sirius was intensely troubled. Remus felt he would be.
"How was your night?" asked Sirius, his tone bland and unfeeling. Remus looked behind him at Vivienne.
"The Potters went to bed early. I tucked Morgause in to bed at 8:30, and Vivienne, Harry, and I stayed up and talked until they fell asleep around midnight. I…I can't sleep myself, so I've just been sitting and thinking," Remus said. "Vivienne is like a female you, Sirius, I tell you. She gets into more trouble than she's worth, but she's got a heart of gold."
Sirius stared blankly at Remus as he continued.
"Morgause is more like her mother, so thoughtful and tolerant, but perhaps a little too shy for either of you," he said. "But you have two wonderful girls, Padfoot. I'm jealous."
Sirius began shaking. Remus could tell he wasn't helping. "Let's go into the kitchen. Let's not wake the children…" Sirius followed Remus into the kitchen and shut the door. Sirius turned his back to Remus and remained inert for a moment, before losing it and slamming his fist hard on the counter. Remus flinched and looked out the window into the den. Vivienne and Harry didn't even stir.
"Sirius! What happened at Azkaban?"
"You don't even know how horrible this is! I have children, but my wife, the woman I love more than anything in the world, is wasting away in the basement of a jail, contemplating begging for a quick and painless death as we speak!"
"Oh god…" muttered Remus, putting a hand to his mouth.
"That place is a thousand times worse than when I was there! They give guided tours through the place like it's a zoo, and the prisoners are animals! From all over Europe, Muggle-borns, Aurors, rebels, traitors, they are all starving and driven mad by the mere notion that they're going to die in those small cells the size of closets! It's overcrowded, the camps and sections are always dark as night, dementors float everywhere, and the only time those innocent people are let pout of their cells is to be tortured for information!" Sirius explained. "It's a hell on earth, and it's not even all for adults! Bastet shares a cell with his girl who's no older than Harry and Vivienne! She disguised herself so she could go to school, and she was caught and now is rotting away without even the slightest hope that she'll be able to read a damn book again!"
"Bloody hell," whispered Remus.
"And what's worse is that on the outside, life is so wonderful! I'm a father to two gorgeous and incredible daughters! My best friends are still alive and know who their son is and is growing up to be! Harry knows his parents—"
"—but that's about all he does know, Sirius," Remus interrupted. Sirius gave Remus an odd look. "Azkaban prison may be horrible, but James, Lily, and I talked while the children were eating supper."
Remus had to swallow back tears from forming in his eyes.
"They are tortured every day, knowing that they cannot smell the fresh summer air. They know that while it is keeping him alive, Harry is dying inside these walls. He needs to go to Hogwarts. He needs to live to be a 15 year old boy. He needs to date girls and play Quidditch, and get embarrassed when he walks in late for a class or forgets his homework. He isn't thriving in here. Neither are James and Lily. They don't want to see him in such a secluded state all the time, and it eats away at them constantly. Lily said that she'd give her life for Harry. Which, as I recall, she did at one point, once upon a time in another world…"
Sirius looked up from the floor and stared blankly at Remus.
"Vivienne, Morgause, you and I are Harry's only connection to the outside world," said Remus.
"But Remus! Life is so good too!!" Sirius said. Remus nodded.
"That's probably the worst part," said Remus. "Vivienne is such a headstrong, courageous, intelligent young woman. And Morgause is so passionate and sweet, she gives everyone a chance to be right. To not have them in the world would certainly be like extinguishing to the light of two stars in the sky! James and Lily are still so young; they care for nothing and no one but Harry, and Harry's wellbeing. You can't find many parents like them anywhere anymore."
Sirius nodded in agreement. "And the fact that Bastet has survived four years in Azkaban without going completely loony is amazing," he said. "She and that girl she shares a cell with cling to each other, and keep each other alive. If THAT isn't bravery, then I can't tell you what is."
Remus reached into his pocket and placed the Time-Turner on the table in front of Sirius. "It's your call," he said. "It will incredibly hard, but it can be done."
Sirius caressed the Turner with his thumb. "So much to sacrifice…again…"
"But yet so much will be gained," said Remus. "Thousands of people are being persecuted because the one who can defeat Voldemort hasn't, and never will be, found. Bastet, James, Lily, Morgause, and Vivienne giving up their lives to that the thousand others can be happy…that's really what living free is all about."
"They're lives are in my hands?" said Sirius. "Thanks, man, I feel loads better."
Remus gave a weak smile. "I'm leaving it up to you."
A whole ten minutes went by with Sirius just staring at the Turner. He then scooped it up and put it in his pocket. Remus dropped his shoulders. Sirius had made his choice.
Sirius went back into the den, followed by Remus. Sirius bent over Harry's sleeping body and kissed his forehead where his cursed scar would have been. "I'm doing this for you, knock 'em dead…literally," Sirius whispered in Harry's ear. He then turned to Vivienne and kissed her nose. "I have a feeling I'm going to miss you, even though you were never born," he whispered to her. Sirius looked up the stairs and sighed a moment. Then he turned to Remus and pulled out the Time-Turner, wrapping it around Remus' neck, then his own. Remus didn't even have time to say anything.
"We're gonna be late for the Yule Ball," Sirius said with a sad tone to his voice. This time, Sirius flipped the hourglass over and over and over…
Sirius kept his eyes on his sleeping daughter until the world got too blurry for him to see.